Searching for "year"

660 Results For 'year'

Farrah

September 23, 2012 @ (CA)

FROM MY DIARY: MY BOYFRIEND, THE ADDICT

I need to laugh right now, even though I feel like crying. You see, the man I love is an addict. Piece by piece, he’s breaking my heart. I think this might be over.

For the time being, though, I figure laughter is the best medicine. So I’m trying to focus on the crazy man outside with the abrasive voice, yelling on the phone in a language I can’t understand. At the same time, I’m reading these break-up stories on an online support group for damaged relationships, wondering how on earth I got here.

I’m trying to remember the things I'm grateful for, which is hard to do in a time like this. My therapist tells me to do this when I feel down. It helps me shift into a more positive mindset. I need to look at the things I DO have in my life and stop focusing on what I've lost - because I can’t stop thinking about Ryan* and about how much I miss the person he used to be.

I feel like I lost him even before the new girl "friend" came along. However, I know she’s only a piece of this crazy puzzle. The old Ryan would never have hurt me that way. He never would’ve lied to me about seeing her. He never would’ve blamed me for his own mistakes.

For the past couple months, I’ve had that gut instinct, telling me something wasn’t right. I could already feel him starting to slip away, and I keep remembering the person who once loved and adored me, and who thought I was beautiful and amazing. I miss the way he used to hold me, kiss me, talk to me for hours. He said he wanted to be with me forever, and I wanted his face to be the first thing I saw each morning, every day for the rest of my life. I never told him that – but I felt it in my heart. He inspired me to be a better person. I miss that man.

When I met him over a year ago, he’d first gotten sober. Gradually, he changed into a brand new person. A light appeared in his eyes; he was truly happy. He went to AA, got a sponsor, and was taking steps toward a brighter future. What went wrong?

It hurts so badly to watch him change. I watch as he stumbles through the darkness of his addiction, sloppy step-by-step, and I can’t do a thing. The pain cuts like a knife, but I’m trying not to feel it. I’m trying to be strong. I don't even know him anymore. He can't see the way he hurts me. While he's this way, he can't see anything else. He’s locked in the grip of denial – in a world that is cold and black. Until he wants help, he won’t get better, and right now he doesn’t believe anything is wrong.

I can't go on this way with him. I love him more than words can say, but I have to love myself enough as well.

I have to realize that the person I'm leaving behind isn’t the man I fell in love with. Instead, he’s a stranger, and all I have are memories of someone I once loved with all my heart.

I watch him wrestle within his own skin, and wallowing in the pits of self-imposed misery. He can't even see what this does to me. He'll only get better when the pain of staying the same outweighs his fear of change.

Unless he’s willing to be honest with himself, he’ll never change, and things between us will continue to deteriorate.

As long as he’s in this mode, he’s capable of anything. He expects my trust without being trustworthy. He expects results and rewards without doing anything to earn them. It isn’t realistic, but he can’t see that now – not the way the old Ryan would. I guess it’s impossible to see the entire picture while you’re standing in it.

A part of me still believes in him. He pushed through this before, and he became an amazing person because of it. It's hard to watch something so beautiful waste away before your eyes. It’s even harder to walk away.

Whatever happens, I do believe that everything happens for a reason - even if I can't see what that is right now. One day, maybe I'll understand. And one day - just maybe - the man I love will come back to me.

Kim

September 20, 2012 @ (BLOCKED)

Tags: (BLOCKED)

I was with the guy named, Don H. We met the first week Don moved into our neighborhood in (BLOCKED). I was 25. We dated off and on for about a year and a half. He denies that he was seeing anyone else but, I know he was sleeping with at least one other neighbor. We had great times together. He was always partying. He was always throwing parties and barbeques and stuff. He worked a lot at his brokerage but I think he was lying. I think he was sleeping with his admin. I met her she was maybe 20. He was always out on the boat but I never went with him. Kidding me!? In the end I knew he was cheating. So obvious. So, I confronted him about what I thought was going on. He invited me over and we had a great time. He actually told me he missed the memo we were exclusive. We had some drinks by the pool. It was a beautiful night. We had sex outside. Then again in the shower. Then again upstairs in his room for half the night. When I woke-up he was already dressed. Tying his tie. Hot. He left a note on a Post-It Said we were done. Are you f-ing kidding me!? A Post-It! My God who does that?

Emma

September 06, 2012 @ (texas)

Tags: Broke up. Chance

so my girlfriend broke up with me but still wants to be best friend. So this is what happen im always calling her and wanting spend time with her, im just really clingy and i don't give her space and always asking her question and up her ass about stuff. i get upset when she busy with school and homework. For the past year she has told me to change and give her space but i never did and she broke u with me for good. and its only been couple days and i been trying to give her space and not be around as much and she told me that she still in love with me but not completely and she just wants to be single and work on herself with school and stuff. do you think i have a chance to get her back, im working on myself and changing

Lexi

August 25, 2012 @ (USA)

Tags: Jerk, valentines day

Ok so, I've liked this one guy for a while and one day, he asks me out. I'm so excited and he asked in the sweetest way. But I'm not here to talk about how he asked me, I'm here to tell you how he ended it 4 days later.... On valentines day! I walk into school all happy because I had a boyfriend and I loved him (remember I said I've been crushing on this guy for a while. A while being 4 years!) I see him in the hall and wave to him. One of his friends pulls me a side and says "He told me to tell you it was a dare..."
I cried in the middle of class and my best friend literally had to push me out of my chair so that way it looked like I hit my ankle falling or something (she's awesome) so she helps me to the nurse where I tell the nurse my story, when of all people in walks him. My friend gives him the dagger eyes. And I flip him off when the nurse turns her back. It felt good ^_^

Jordan

August 25, 2012 @ (Australia)

Tags: sarsha , pheoeb

well this is how the story goes... years ago i feel in love with a girl in high school, i was in love with her since she was my first ever girlfriend. About 2 months into going out she left me ,without a reason and 2 weeks later she was dating another guy( who ended up cheating on her). i was soo upset but soon after i found a girl that was completely perfect. we ended up dating for 2 years but then one day she turned around and told me she didnt love me no more...and as much as i fought for her back and tried my hardest i ended up losing her... i found it really weird that she couldn't really give me a reason for breaking up for me , but turned out she was in contact and flirting with the guy that took my first girlfriend, and its pretty clear i lost he girl of my dreams to the same guy !:,(

Lauren

August 22, 2012 @ (Maryland)

Tags: (highschool, religion)

So it was a nine month relationship. We were friends for about a year before. We finally decided to hook up the week of homecoming. But it turned out to be something a lot more. He asked me out at the homecoming game. Since then we've been together and in love. I helped him through so much. His parents fight constantly, he was adopted, he has self worth issue but so do I. We helped each other out. We were happy together and we promised each other to stay forever. We thought we were going to get married. We thought we had so much time. We even lost our virginity to one another.
So he went to church camp for a week about a month ago. He came back wanting a break. No explanation, no answers, no nothing. He changed completely. He always used to say that he believed in God but not in religion. Now he's a legit conservative Catholic. He says "Sex is bad." He thinks he has to break up with me because of his religion. The experience at camp changed him. It's like my old guy is there but he's not. Like he's asleep and soon he's going to wake up and have no one. He thinks the world is a perfect place where only nice people exist because that's how it was at camp.
I don't know how to get through to him. But all he says now is 'idk'. Ten months and he's willing to throw it all away... I get the feeling he isn't telling me something. I'm so fed up with guys being assholes. He was different though.

Sara

August 15, 2012 @ (Slovenia)

Tags: Sara

Our story is now almost 7 years long. With zillion of breakups, cries, backtogethers, now I can finally say it's over. When I look back now, there's been more bad than nice times, I often felt rejected, humiliated and not loved.. What took me so long? Low self esteem, not a drop of self love and addiciton. The last drop over the top was last month of our "relationship". In May I got pregnant.. Then he fell in love with someone new - so he said. We talked on the phone about the situation we had to solve somehow. I've decided that the abortion is the best solutin for me.. The day I went to the hospital, he wasn't there for me. Yet the "good" thing came out of all, I didn't have the abortion since I misscarried the child. It was probably somekind of a sign, that that person is really the best to stay away from. But the pain of his actions was and still is sometimes unbearable. I am moving on now, day by day, hour by hour with thoughts of lonliness mostly in my head. But my goal is now to get over him and find love in myself, the long missing self esteem and the partner I deserve. I know I will be ok! :)

Brittany

August 01, 2012 @ (New York)

Tags: Love and hate

It all started off on December first. It was in 7th grade, pretty much the beginning of the school year. His name was Bryce. One of those popular basketball jocks. He seemed so sweet, but i knew i would never have a chance with him. So one night a bunch of my friends and a bunch of his friends were at a girls basketball game for our school. We all hung out together and it was so fun! I talked to him for a little bit until he had to go home. Later that night, after i got home, i messaged him on Facebook and told him he should text me sometime, so i gave him my number. About half an hour later he messaged me back and was all 'alright(:'

After talking for about a week, he said he really liked me and he would like to ask me out, But to me surprise he said he didn't want to do it over text. The next day at school, just a normal day, he came up to me and asked me out. Probably the best day ever! After about a month dating he decided to break up with me. Btw it was the day after Christmas... He always told me 'forever and always' that was our little saying. So since he said it so much i started to believe it. I fell for him soo hard.

For about a month i cried myself to sleep. Then one day out of the blue, i was walking thru the halls, and he says my name. I turn around and he is standing there with the most saddest look on his face. I give him the 'what do you want' kind of look. My best friend turns to me and says, he was going to apologize to you for all the things he's done to you. Till this day i regret doing that. Later on that day i text him and say, im sorry for giving you a dirty look. He later then text's me back with a long text that he wants to take me back and that he made such a big mistake. I liked him so much' so i took him back.

The next day at school it was a normal day but Bryce was back in my life. That day was great. But when i got home i got that heartbreaking text message again. He said 'my parents said i couldn't date anymore' I texted him why but he never once texted me back. A couple months of still crying constantly, i try once more and ask him why? He said he was too good for me and so he made up and excuse to stop dating me. I was so pissed at myself for taking him back that other time.

Of course i still have feelings for him,he just doesn't feel the same way about me. I guess it's just one of those 'first love' things, where even though how bad they hurt you, you still take them back.

Its now the beginning of 8th grade and i still am not over him.. Till this day i listen to one certain song and i cry my eyes out for hours. I miss him, i really do,i'd take him back in a heartbeat but i don't want my heart broken again.

Ruby Redford

July 24, 2012 @ (Miami, Florida)

Tags: Text, drunken hookup

I got together with this guy that I was into for maybe about a month at a party. We were both drunk and he was getting over another girl but we made out the whole night. In the morning when we sobered up we talked it out and decided "to take it slow". After about a month I decided we were in a relationship and he just went along with it. We have the same friend group at school and we were planning Euro trip with a club of 19 people that we are both in. I asked him after 3 months of dating if he wanted to stay together during the trip over text he said sure, but didn't sound excited. One thing led to the next and he broke up with me over text.
I sent him a long fb message explaining that I was at first upset but I want to remain friends with him... no response.
So the next week I got drunk with one of my friends who is a guy. He just broke up with his girlfriend and they were dating for over a year. I'm really good friends with his exgirlfriend, probably better friends with her than I am with him... however I made out with him and they had only been broken up for 5 days.
We were both trying to get over the people we were with. Here's the catch though, ALL OF US: me, my exboyfriend, the guy I hooked up with and his ex girlfriend are ALL GOING TO BE IN EUROPE TOGETHER for TWO WEEKS night and day... this will be interesting/painful.
Not to mention, everyone in the club is taking sides. At least some people will be on my side since i was broken up with via text, though my actions after the break up are unjustifiable.

Angie

July 22, 2012 @ (New York)

Tags: dumb, young,

Well for starters, this happened a couple of months back and I'm completely over it.
My boyfriend at the time and I had dated for two years, straight out of high-school. We always got into constant arguments which up until today I should have realized that I should have let go from the beginning. He would always argue about how much I used to call him or text him but mind you we would barely see each other. He was in a different school and so was I. We had met through mutual friends. At the time I used to see it as absence makes the heart grow fonder...boy was I wrong. By the time we were both starting our first semester in college I realized that he was spending a lot of time with these two girls but I didn't put mind since I was actually paranoid that I was pregnant. Well turns out I was and had a miscarriage, I didn't find out until after so it didn't really affect me but when I was paranoid he didn't even bother to go with me to get checked out. Well I started noticing that some girl on Facebook was always commenting on his photos and on his wall and usually that doesn't bother me and I approached him about it and he stated "I would never mess around with her, she's pretty fat. I hate fat chicks" HA! yeah that was the girl he dumped me for on our anniversary.
The girl would then try calling and texting me threatening me AFTER she she found out that he cheated on her three times with me. It was bad in my part but hey...I was still in love I guess. I have no regrets, and now I just laugh it off at how young and naive I was. And basically for girls to read this and see that after a break up you can be strong never cry for a long time over a guy that isn't worth it.