Tags: First Girlfriend, Betrayel
Hello everyone. My name is Keller Connley, and this is the story of how my first girlfriend broke my heart. It was freshman year, and the homecoming was coming up. I was very desperate and asked a lot of girls to come with me, but they all said no. Finally, I asked this girl who I had only seen a few times during school, and she was in my math class. So, a week before homecoming, I asked her, and she said, "I'll, think about it." The next day, she told me yes I will go with you and gave me her number. Later that night, when we were texting, she told me that she had a boyfriend. I was shocked, since I would have never asked her if I had known. She said to not worry, because she wanted to break up with her anyway. So she did that, and a few days later we were going out. Homecoming was extremely fun and I had a great time with her.
So, during our time together, we did things, like go to the movies and hung out at my dads place. We didn't go all the way, since we were in ninth grade and both Christians. The furthest I went was halfway between 2nd and 3rd base.
We did this for eight months, but I started to realize that there were cracks in the relationship. We stopped spending every second of school outside of class together, and we also didn't text as much as before, since I had broken my phone.
The straw that broke the camels back, however, was in fact my best friend for 3 years. He got jealous, and somehow convinced me she was cheating on me, and convinced me to give him her number. That was on Sunday May 6th 2012. She confronted me the next day, and started asking me weird questions. Apparantly, my friend had told her lies, such as that I watched gay porn, and that I had my eyes on this black girl in school. I dismissed these lies, and life was normal again. However, on May 12th and 13th, when we talked over the phone, she told me that she had feelings for my friend. On May 14th, when school started, she broke up with me, and shattered my heart. I later found out that she had asked out my friend no more than 19 minutes later. My birthday was that Saturday.
For the following 2 weeks, I broke down in tears many times, both in and out of class. She in my opinion is being controlled by him because he has threatened me with violence, and the few times I have been able to speak to my ex, she tells me, " I shouldn't be talking to you. Randy is very jealous, and I don't want him to hurt you."
Now, since it's been almost a year, I am going to try and talk to her again. What do you guys and gals think I should do?
Tags: (gay, boyfriend, bestfriend, mutual)
My name is Jennifer and I am 18 years old. About a year a go, my best friend of 2 years finally asked me out and I couldn't have been happier. We spend an amazing 9 months together until something happened in November. We were having a bit of a hiccup in our relationship. Just a little lack of communication but nothing big. I told him we needed to talk things out, so we went out for coffee the morning of the 27th.
That's when he dumped me hard, saying that he just didn't like me anymore, and had no feelings for me. It was completely out of the blue. I was distraught for about 2 weeks until he finally told me he was gay. I felt horrible, that I might have done something to cause it, or I made him turn gay. But he assured me that it was always a thought in his head but never wanted to tell me to spare my feelings.
I'll admit- things were awkward for a week or two but then we immediately returned to being best friends, and we were inseparable again. I also started hanging out with our other mutual friend, he was funny and smart and we really got along well.
Well about 2 weeks ago our mutual friend decided to tell me he was gay. I began to panic, thinking that something was up, but my ex was very consoling to say that everything was fine and there was nothing between the two of them- they were just friends and got along well because they had enough in common.
Easy enough right? Well wrong. The mutual friend let the cat out of the bag that he and my ex-boyfriend started dating a month after he dumped me.
So I was not only dumped for someone else, it was for our mutual best friend... who was a guy.
And now I'm not speaking to either of them because I feel betrayed that they would go behind my back like that. I told them everything and they kept that huge secret from me for about 3 months.
Anyone know what to do?
-Jennifer
Tags: unreal, how could she
Man where to begin. I'm now 23. Dated my ex (EK) for a little over 2 years. We went to college together and spent 95% of nights together. She graduates and gets a job 2.5 hours away, but we were solid. We told each other we loved the other and consistently talked about living together after I graduated.
We see each other about 2/3 of weekends and still go strong. Then one day when I go to visit here, out of nowhere, she sits me down and tells me she doesn't think it is going to work out. I'm heartbroken, but am able to calm down and talk it through. she admits to not seeing the whole story and changes her mind relatively quickly and we have a good weekend together.
A few days later, she messages me and expresses how depressed she is. I try to calm her down, but she loses it and says she isn't going to talk to me until after thanksgiving (1 week). When we do talk, she says she wants to discuss all our issues. I agree to meet on my way back to school.
We talk. It wasn't the most pleasant, but we salvage the weekend and have a good 1.5 days together. Then on Wednesday, after a bad day of work, she says she can't do it and says she gonna breakup with me in person at my apartment. I dont wait around. I buy flowers and chocolate and surprise her at her apartment. We talk that night and have a plan to spend a weekend at my school together. I spend the night.
We wake up at 6:30 am (she has to work) and she breaks up with me. I am forced to drive 2.5 hours and go straight class after losing the girl I was in love with.
I do the right thing and leave her alone for a month. No birthday text or any contact from her in December. I call in Jan to initiate a conversation. No response. I try again a few days later. No response. She sends me a FB message saying to stop contacting her. Before I read this, I am meeting with a different ex (KD) for advice. I go to the bathroom during lunch with KD and she takes my phone and grabs EKs phone number and starts texting her. It is not until later that I find out about this after EK accusses KD of actually being me (aka me having 2 phone numbers) and threatens to call the police if i show up at her door.
I send her a FB explaining the deal and telling her how inappropriate she is behaving. She doesn't respond. I randomly run into her the next weekend on campus and she is a wreck and acts incredibly miserable, even though she is dating a guy she became "friends" with right before we broke up.
I will likely never know the truth because she has not answered anything I have texted her. All I have been told is that she was unhappy for a long time and led me on for about 6 months. I have taken the higher road, but it's tough not knowing what went wrong with the girl I loved.
Tags: Break up story
When you told me you had found someone, I was worried. I thought there wasn’t possibly a way you cheated on me because I knew you. I trusted you. You weren’t that person. You said you hadn’t started dating her yet and that you were “just friends” but that you’d spent the night at her apartment on her couch a few times, that you’d gone out for drinks, etc. I digested this news. You had found someone else. I begged, I cried, I starved myself for several weeks – because I couldn’t understand how you, someone who I thought to be a good person, could have cheated on me.
I read her Facebook updates and it appeared that you had been dating since April, going on little vacation trips together, meeting her family, etc., all the while you were still dating me. You used my car to visit her, to bring her to work, and to take trips out in the country with her. When I was extremely ill, you claimed you were at a cabin with your parents and elderly grandmother, so I would have to take an ambulance. Turns out you were with her in the country, with my car.
You didn’t even come clean with me, I had asked for honesty. Please just tell me how long you’d been dating, what had gone on behind my back, etc. I felt made a fool of and humiliated. I was embarrassed that I defended you when you were “at a friends house” (turns out you were spending the night with her), or when you were hours late coming home from work, I figured you stopped to hang out with a friend – turns out I was completely over-trusting.
When I found out the truths splattered all over her Facebook, knowing that she had been married and her ex-husband had cheated on her and caused the end of the marriage less than a year before you two started dating, I was angry. How can another woman agree to date a man and put another lady in the same position she herself was in? She knew how this kind of betrayal hurt.
There was a time after the cheating when you made me feel like the cheating was entirely my fault and that if I tried to change some things about my behaviors and my income situation, you’d still date me. You claimed you wanted to be friends. You cried like a baby several times. You insisted that you didn’t hate me.
I moved out. We broke up. Things were spiraling out of control – and there you were being cruel to me any chance you got. I ran into you and your new “fiancé” (you got engaged after four months of dating, all of which were done when you were cheating on me, really), and instead of showing some respect for me being in the same vicinity as you two – you made out the entire night for hours on end in front of my friends and me! Talk about disrespectful.
You couldn’t understand what caused me to hate you. You couldn’t understand what caused me to hate her? You wanted me to play nicely and be kind. I’ve moved on with my life, I’ve met someone I can trust and depend on. We bonded over the horrible things you did to me, how low you were as a person, and we laugh at you. I’m glad we’re able to be together – but I’m still angry at you for NOT apologizing for the kinds of cruel things you did to me.
I’d be ashamed for your mother and father that they raised such a horrific human. You lied to your parents while you were cheating, you didn’t even invite them to your wedding – because you’ve changed. You’ve become the most evil person I’ve ever known, and it’s sad – because you use to be a good person.
I’d like to say I wish you health and happiness, but I wish almost every ill the world can throw at you. Every impossible situation where you’ll find pain, I wish that for you. I hope one day karma throws you several things at one time and you can feel what it feels like to not have a choice in a situation, to be made a fool of, and to hurt.
I know in my heart, you will cheat on her. Once she doesn’t pay enough attention to you. Once she gets too busy working and being a mother, she’ll forget to give you the insane amount of attention you require and you’ll do horrible things to her like you’ve done to me. The only difference is, she’ll deserve it.
Tags: BROKE
I broke up one month ago- to be exact on My Birthday.
I was in relationship with this girl for around 4 yr..Did everything for her never cheated on her, neither betrayed her or said any lies to her..but always use to bring her Past whenevr I find her mingling with other guys. She had few things of her past which were not told to me and when i came to knew I lost all trust. Though blinded in love I tried to build up my trust again and she did everything she could to make me trust her but at last she ended up making some mistakes which would make me angry. Now Everytime I caught her lying I would abuse her and will bring the Past. She used to apoloige and I used to forgive but couldnt forget her lies. Later For my job I was required to move to other city for six month. I had trust that after 4 yr she will nt betray me but for my faith I kept a check on her mobile sms and FB. and one fine day when i found a colleague of her flirting with her on FB i blasted her again. and this time abused her too..She with broken heart told to discontinue this relation as she cant take any more..Feeling guilty of my behaviour I went to apologize her. Promised not to spy her again but she was done makin me believe. Still I felt she will come back as we have been fr 4 years and its not easy to move on and she can forgive me once and give me a first n last chance to improve myself. Only the next day I found her to be roaming with the guy who ws flirting with her..Got to know that he proposed her 2 month back and she rejected but kept her contact. Now got the real story Abuse ws just a cover up. She ws bored of me and cant live with me out of the town. Learning all this I was just shattered that the girl for whom I did everything fr last 4 years could cheat me like this. First thought Abuse was a big thing for girls. Yes it is but not big enough to be not forgiven once. Anyways If she would have loved me once in 4 yr she would have taken few days off after my break up but she is with her life again enjoying with other guy. I just wish i would not have forgiven her and would have walked off the first time she broke my trust..damn i carried for three years. But at the end I believe she will get back what she has given. A palace built on someone else grave is bound to be haunted in time to come
Tags: exboyfriend, how to get
I was with this guy for about 10 months, we were in a long distance relationship. He works abroad. He comes twice a year to Lebanon. The second time i saw him in Lebanon he broke up with me for about one month and half i started begging him and telling how much i love him and than we started arguing so i started to ignore him than we came back together. He came so nice and good to me than he came back to the country he works in. We broke up for the second time and than came back after ignoring him, when he came back he refused putting our picture on BBM and so i told him why, he said you keep fighting me while he does all the fighting, and i have no word. So i was okay with it, like what can i do i cannot force him, but on whatsapp he kept our picture with my name as a nickname. ( on BBM also he kept my name). But 3 weeks ago we broke up i didn't know why, he was desperate changing pictures on BBM and he removed my name so i asked him why, like u removed our picture already and now my name, later on what? he was fighting me all over and broke up with me after being so good to him and trying to make him calm, he broke up and i called him several times he didn't reply so i wished him good luck and that he lost me because of his bad treatment. And he said u lost me before i lost you because u didn't care. so i ignored him. He started to put sad faces on BBM so i ignored him but after a few days i said that he lost me forever because he was so disrespectful and im not gonna stay like this forever and i think he has a new girlfriend so i said many things... and he started bringing up my old relations. MY PAST! and say that i didn't care and i m not a good girlfriend and i wasn't by his side (truth is i always have been by his side and never left him, spoiling him with love and sacrifices that i have done to him... i don't go anywhere because of him because he's jealous and i don't want him to feel alone so i go to uni and go home, i don't even see my friends because of him because i don't wanna make him sad). So i didn't reply to any of his talk. The next day i said i wanna give this relation a chance so i asked him a question : "Do u still love me, did u ever love me and will you always love me?" so he replied :" I got the answer but i won't tell you" so i said " I have to know so i can know how to deal with things from now on" he was like " Deal with it the way you want, you already did enough" so i didn't reply to him and didn't talk to him after that that was 3 weeks ago. This wednesday i said him on bbm hi and he replied hey and asked how is he and he was normal and u? i said im okay and he said good. so i didn't say any word after that. after 2 hrs i put a picture for me on whatsapp and BBM, so he said please remove me from here sorry for disturbing and block me on whatsapp if u care about not hurting me anymore. so i didn't reply to him and after a short time he said thanks for being disrespectful so i didn't reply to him and at 2 am he sent me on BBM " Hope when i wae up in the morning u will do the favor i asked you to and not putting more disrespectful behavio and the hurt you're doing to me. wish u the best but don't go to your past with such immature pictures and bad ones it doesn't go for you from an old friend and i prefer there won't be a HI between us cz you treated your ex's better than me and respected them but u didn't respect me knowing one took you to his home from the first day and the other one cheated on you, that's called not respecting, you left me i didn't say a word, you hurt me and i didn't do anything, i m not like your ex's but you all girls are the same there's no difference. if you're not gonna do the favour so i do it in the morning but please tell me that you won't do because you really did hurt me and i didn't expect that from you to go back to your past. wish u all the best regards, ur old friend" so i didn't reply to him because it's all untrue i didn't leave him and i did respect him i was more than good to him really i was. and after that he sent me "bye good luck on whatsapp with such pics" and i didn't say anything so he started pinging me a lot and than he removed me i didn't say anything. not even a word. I really loved this guy i don't know what hapened to him i wish i can get help to make him come back but with good intentions :( i miss him i don't understand why this hapened. Help
Tags: love sucks
We started going out September of 2009. We were happy and in love. I honestly thought he was the one, we made love, we planned a wedding, we planned our lives. Then on April 2010 I fin d out he's been cheating on me. He says it only happened once but God who knows how many fucking times he cheated!! I was heartbroken. He left me for another. Fast forward to May 2010, my dumbass hangs out with him & what does he do? He kisses me and I tell him it isnt right since he has a girfriend. He didn't care and idk why i let him kiss me. He ignored me for the following months until September 2010 when he found out I had a new boyfriend. I guess it's true when they say that they want you back when they see you with someone new. He asks me if we can be together but that no one has to know. as much as i still had feelings for him, i didn't fall for that. Then the next month he finds out I broke up with the guy I was with and he goes to look for me he kisses me and I ask him "wait don't you have your Girlfriend still?" and he's like, "I don't want to talk about her, lets talk about us" and truth is I was really happy to see him again, he kisses me and I kiss him back but it doesn't feel right because in his girlfriend stays in the back of my mind. And as fucked up as she was to ruin my relationship and get in between it in the first place, I didn't want to be like her. but then he told me he was gonna leave her for me. Lies. Days pass by and not one single word from him. Then the following month his girlfriend sends me a message on facebook asing me all these questions about him. I end up telling her the truth that her guy has been after me since forever now. He denies it in her face but later he says that its true. Its a long long story. A story that should have been over with in 2010. But guess what? It is now 2012 and that asshole is still on my mind. And that chick still talks to me and pretends to be my friend but behind my back she talks shit. I don't know why! She is always Subtweeting me and all that and she always mentions him. She starts saying things like "oh im glad im talking with him again!" I have a feeling they'll get back together after all the shit that happened. I don't give a fuck though. Wait, yeah I do :/ I know I shouldn't but I still have those feelings. It's going to be two years now since I last saw him though so I don't understand why I still think about him, dream about him and cry sometimes for him. He really messed me up. I haven't been in a relationship in such a long time because of trust issues.He left me heartbroken and I don't think I can handle another one of those relationships. I honestly just want him out of my mind. I want him out of my heart but I don't know how. Maybe it does take time. Maybe I'll get over it little by little. I just hate the fact that I gave it up to a douche like him. I know I don't need him but sometimes I just want to tell him that I do. I don't know. Love is complicated.
Tags: breakup
FROM MY DIARY: MY BOYFRIEND, THE ADDICT
I need to laugh right now, even though I feel like crying. You see, the man I love is an addict. Piece by piece, he’s breaking my heart. I think this might be over.
For the time being, though, I figure laughter is the best medicine. So I’m trying to focus on the crazy man outside with the abrasive voice, yelling on the phone in a language I can’t understand. At the same time, I’m reading these break-up stories on an online support group for damaged relationships, wondering how on earth I got here.
I’m trying to remember the things I'm grateful for, which is hard to do in a time like this. My therapist tells me to do this when I feel down. It helps me shift into a more positive mindset. I need to look at the things I DO have in my life and stop focusing on what I've lost - because I can’t stop thinking about Ryan* and about how much I miss the person he used to be.
I feel like I lost him even before the new girl "friend" came along. However, I know she’s only a piece of this crazy puzzle. The old Ryan would never have hurt me that way. He never would’ve lied to me about seeing her. He never would’ve blamed me for his own mistakes.
For the past couple months, I’ve had that gut instinct, telling me something wasn’t right. I could already feel him starting to slip away, and I keep remembering the person who once loved and adored me, and who thought I was beautiful and amazing. I miss the way he used to hold me, kiss me, talk to me for hours. He said he wanted to be with me forever, and I wanted his face to be the first thing I saw each morning, every day for the rest of my life. I never told him that – but I felt it in my heart. He inspired me to be a better person. I miss that man.
When I met him over a year ago, he’d first gotten sober. Gradually, he changed into a brand new person. A light appeared in his eyes; he was truly happy. He went to AA, got a sponsor, and was taking steps toward a brighter future. What went wrong?
It hurts so badly to watch him change. I watch as he stumbles through the darkness of his addiction, sloppy step-by-step, and I can’t do a thing. The pain cuts like a knife, but I’m trying not to feel it. I’m trying to be strong. I don't even know him anymore. He can't see the way he hurts me. While he's this way, he can't see anything else. He’s locked in the grip of denial – in a world that is cold and black. Until he wants help, he won’t get better, and right now he doesn’t believe anything is wrong.
I can't go on this way with him. I love him more than words can say, but I have to love myself enough as well.
I have to realize that the person I'm leaving behind isn’t the man I fell in love with. Instead, he’s a stranger, and all I have are memories of someone I once loved with all my heart.
I watch him wrestle within his own skin, and wallowing in the pits of self-imposed misery. He can't even see what this does to me. He'll only get better when the pain of staying the same outweighs his fear of change.
Unless he’s willing to be honest with himself, he’ll never change, and things between us will continue to deteriorate.
As long as he’s in this mode, he’s capable of anything. He expects my trust without being trustworthy. He expects results and rewards without doing anything to earn them. It isn’t realistic, but he can’t see that now – not the way the old Ryan would. I guess it’s impossible to see the entire picture while you’re standing in it.
A part of me still believes in him. He pushed through this before, and he became an amazing person because of it. It's hard to watch something so beautiful waste away before your eyes. It’s even harder to walk away.
Whatever happens, I do believe that everything happens for a reason - even if I can't see what that is right now. One day, maybe I'll understand. And one day - just maybe - the man I love will come back to me.
Tags: Sara
Our story is now almost 7 years long. With zillion of breakups, cries, backtogethers, now I can finally say it's over. When I look back now, there's been more bad than nice times, I often felt rejected, humiliated and not loved.. What took me so long? Low self esteem, not a drop of self love and addiciton. The last drop over the top was last month of our "relationship". In May I got pregnant.. Then he fell in love with someone new - so he said. We talked on the phone about the situation we had to solve somehow. I've decided that the abortion is the best solutin for me.. The day I went to the hospital, he wasn't there for me. Yet the "good" thing came out of all, I didn't have the abortion since I misscarried the child. It was probably somekind of a sign, that that person is really the best to stay away from. But the pain of his actions was and still is sometimes unbearable. I am moving on now, day by day, hour by hour with thoughts of lonliness mostly in my head. But my goal is now to get over him and find love in myself, the long missing self esteem and the partner I deserve. I know I will be ok! :)
I'm 15 years old, he's 16. Let's call him by his initial, D. We started as good friends, and it slowly morphed into something more, like he would say 'I miss you', when I went out with friends and stuff. We had a common friend, my best friend, and he told me that he liked me, I was relieved because I thought he liked my friend. So we were together for 3 months, we rarely argued and it was all good :) But during the winter holidays, we barely talked, and he left for Japan with just a quick 'oh btw im going to japan'. So when he returned, we talked again over Skype, but I realized something was wrong. He wasn't the same. So I asked him if he liked me, and he said he didn't know, so when I tried to talk it through, he just said brb, cos his friend was calling him. Then when I asked whether we could talk in person, and he said he was busy tomorrow. So he promised to talk the day after. When the day after finally came, he said he was 'too tired in the mornings' and didn't even bother. So we decided on 'a break'. Meanwhile, he went to my best friend for support, though he didn't need it. I, in turn, somehow became close with the friend he had ditched me for, on the day that we broke up. During Easter, we got close again. He started making sexual comments, and touching me..but he never once said he liked me. It was all over by the time Easter ended. I had gotten into a fight with my best friend over my actions in the past year, for she didn't like how I had changed with sadness. It hurt me to see my ex making statuses for her like 'cheer up' or 'go online', But what hurt most was, on his steam profile, he said he loved a special person with a description so fitting her and the things they talk about. I don't know what to do, we still talk but it's awkss. I just need some advice.
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