John L.

July 20, 2010 @ (Orlando)

Tags: 8 year dream


I was with a girl for 7.5 months. When we first met she told me that she was going to try and get back together with her ex.8 years earlier I had begged God to show me the girl I was to marry. I had seen this girl and her dad for 8 years in my dreams and had been looking every day. 2 days before my 23 b-day,I took her out to dinner and it was my first date.We ended up hanging out more and more. FOund out later she was with a guy I knew and was having sex. I am a true Christian and wanted to show her that sex wasn't how you loved someone it was just being with the that mattered most. Her ex had messed up her head. I got drunk for the first time forher and apparently I woke up next morning with no clothes on. I lost my virginity.To me it was the most sacred thing I wanted to give my wife to say this is all that I am and I am giving it to you. We ended up doing it a lot and I thought she would stay with me. She was talking with her ex the whole time and I hated that but was trying to show I cared. He came back 4 two weeks and she had sex with him. I had just given her a 200 dollar pair of earrings saying the night before don't forget about me. She came back and we were together for a few months then she started working at a place full of guys then the there was no contact with her. I was like what the crap. She didnt tell me anything. I had nightmares of me being in the room while she was having sex with a guy I had never seen. Later found out she was seeing a guy from work. And that she had finally broken up with her ex.
I said is there any way that we could start over since she now had a clear head. No. She never once loved me or had feelings for me. They were all transferred from her ex to me. Sorry.
In the end I gave my virginity so she wouldn't go to another guy who would use her for sex,gave her my heart, mind, body and soul. I waited 8 years for this girl and she took everything and said it meant nothing. Now I am afraid to even ask a girl out because I believed in her. One time after sex she was like what is your favorite part. aka on her body. I pointed to her heart. I never wanted sex. I kept telling her it was just holding her hand, being in her arms, and looking into her eyes that made me forget everything. Now I fear she is destroying her future. All I can do is pray


       


 

Comment on this breakup






Turtlebrain

June 28, 2013


To all the people who said this story was funny...get a life! Having someone you have loved forever say that you mean nothing to them is not funny.


     


Sharley

June 07, 2013


Karma always slaps you in the face in the end, trust me. Been there, done that.


     


jesse

June 05, 2013


haha stalker thats kinda funny.. and um hell no! ye no ... its not as though im all team ex girlfriend here im just plainly stating the obvious mistakes on both parties...and i tried that and trust me it doesnt work once you work things out with your ex they all of a sudden think it means getting back together..uch stupid...


     


LonelyLifelong

April 21, 2013


That girl did hurt you,but all girls are not the same ok john,you loved her truly deeply within your heart, ,i wish my boyfriend did all that and more for me,cause in the world of love from each other we never ask for more then love,believe me you will find a girl better and much more exellent then her for you,i'm sure God has one out there for you,you just need to sharpen your sight,and you will know when the right person comes,cause you will feel it!no one has to point out,i'm glade you've moved on in life,and decided to pull ur self outa that thingy,getting over a breakup is harder then anything,but you s really did it!thats really great!i knw it hurts like hell,when the person you love the most kicks you outa there lives never evr wanting you back there again,i'm sure every you'll have a great life based on your life now,you encouraged me to move on for my baby right!dont worry john,i dont think i can,but will try for her only,mybestfriend,my ex which i wrote about,and who is my daughters daddy,and me,we were togather in high school,i wrote in my broke up that my best friend wants me,thats him,he have been having a crush on me but i loved my baby's dad,thats why ditched him,now again he is asking me out to get married,so that me,my daughter rose,and him can live happily,he loves her a lot too,he spends with her all the time when he visits me,giving her everything,just the way i want him to be with her,which makes me very happy,but my issue is i cant,am afride to love him,feeling he will also dump and leave me,agin i have to go through a horrible situation,he asked me out 3 times recently also,so i feel to try but still the fear in my heart is not letting me do,anyways will try to do it for rose,wish you goodluck!thanks again!


     


LonelyLifelong

April 21, 2013


Hi!i feel really sorry for you,you commented on my breakup,thankyou,you will say a prayer for me and my baby daughter,got to tell you onething i didnt include,that is i got pregnant when i was 16,and my baby was kept in incubator for two weeks,i hardly dealed with it,got through it,so thanks!and that girl whom u were with,all i wanna say is dont be afride to move on,atleast try,and all human beings are not the same is all i've to say,i will also pray for your better future,and love is not when you love someone because they had sex with,or you have a pysicle attraction towards them,love is when you love someone by heart,like you loved her,i'm 100% sure you truly loved her based on what u've wrote,trust me,guys like you are rare john!wish you good luck,all the best!


     


Maury

April 07, 2013


Louks like she made a bolllocks outa you mate, rolf


     


John L.

April 07, 2013


To tell you the truth and this is for those who have hurt ppl. Maybe its time to pick up the phone and say how sorry you were. I want you to imagine waking up every day and hearing the last words your ex said to you. Every time you are alone you hear them; and every night you fall asleep they play in your mind. You might say well that isn't normal. If a person really loved you and you severely hurt them trust me it scars for the rest of their lives. In my case I hear mistake, never loved, stalker. These words eat at you until there is nothing left but a shell of the person that once was. Is that what you want? I have tried relationships and every time I feel nothing. I am like a statue too afraid to even let a girl in simply bec of one. The truth is this was the first time in my life I felt someone truly loved me and felt like I belonged with all my imperfections. Turned out to be a lie and I entrusted my life for the first time to someone and it was ripped to hell. Yes I am trying to move forward yet every time I take that step I am pushed further back. Yet at the same time I still try to help ppl when I can. I don't smile or laugh hardly at all and yes I'm used to being alone but let me tell you it sucks. I at least got a dog but you can't replace the feeling of holding someone in your arms or their hand in yours. So if you have hurt someone call them and just ask them to forgive you. You can say its in the past but scars never fully disappear.


     


John L.

April 07, 2013


Been a while since I was on here. i ty for the comments to those who are kind with their words. I was trying to be perfect bec I knew if I wasnt then I had no chance. Truth be told it was easy lol. At the same time you shouldnt have to. Love is something that should come naturally. While it has been almost 3 yrs I am still looking for that special someone and trying to get over the dmg done mentally. The one comment surprised me with the maybe she will come back. Truth be told ask yourself how could you ever trust someone who did this to you? you can't... *Jesse really my head up her ass... I knew what I was doing with everything I said and did. What do you think ppl will remember more? A person who would yell at them no. Its one who encourages them to be their best even at their worst. In regards to getting hurt the truth is it wrecked me, her ex, and the guy she was with bet us. At the end of the day it also hurt her bec it showed just how selfish she was and could be but also her lack of respect for me and herself. Everyone suffered in other words. I understood your comment of what other way is there to hurt someone? Truth is you can cheat on someone and that hurts, you can lie to them and that hurts, you can insult them and that hurts. So in truth you can hurt someone mentally, physically and spiritually. I must ask why do you seem to take these comments in such a way that it almost seems as though you are defending yourself or maybe even someone you know. Just saying and no this is not an attack on you.


     


jesse

January 06, 2013


heh.. you missed the part where his head was always up her ass. and um perfect? wow. nope i gotta say hes still got a long way to go if he wants the title "perfect". but then again thats just my opinion.also what other way is there to hurt someone... well sure you can pick up a bat and start beating the hell out of someone .... but that can get messy. and if what your saying is true Shannon then aren't we all cowards in love and reality itself that we care not to display our in-capabilities to those who may harm us with their mind controlling games? and if so whos fault is it then? which one is the first to get hurt?


     


Shannon

October 09, 2012


* Jesse How can you honestly say you can't see what she did was wrong. When is cheating ever the right thing to do? Answer is never. This girl acted like a child and if you see o fault then clearly you yourself are a child when it comes to life. This young man put forth everything for a girl who he saw in his dreams and while you may not believe in these things thats your opinion but stranger things can and do happen every day. John this girl did have feelings for you but as jesse did say you went way beyond what any guy would do for a girl. You danced with her, praised her, lifted her up, spoiled her, cared for her, and above all else you truly loved her. She never realized the guy she was with and to be honest you sound perfect. I wish my ex's did half of what you did. Keep your head up and never give up because God has someone out there for you. I know right now you are probably still hurting because lets face it you never forget the first time you fall in love and she just destroyed you in every way. Mainly mentally because she knew you wouldn't hurt her back. That was a cowards way and you can do so much better. Never stop believing in yourself because you are such a rare person in this age of young people.