John L.

July 20, 2010 @ (Orlando)

Tags: 8 year dream

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I was with a girl for 7.5 months. When we first met she told me that she was going to try and get back together with her ex.8 years earlier I had begged God to show me the girl I was to marry. I had seen this girl and her dad for 8 years in my dreams and had been looking every day. 2 days before my 23 b-day,I took her out to dinner and it was my first date.We ended up hanging out more and more. FOund out later she was with a guy I knew and was having sex. I am a true Christian and wanted to show her that sex wasn't how you loved someone it was just being with the that mattered most. Her ex had messed up her head. I got drunk for the first time forher and apparently I woke up next morning with no clothes on. I lost my virginity.To me it was the most sacred thing I wanted to give my wife to say this is all that I am and I am giving it to you. We ended up doing it a lot and I thought she would stay with me. She was talking with her ex the whole time and I hated that but was trying to show I cared. He came back 4 two weeks and she had sex with him. I had just given her a 200 dollar pair of earrings saying the night before don't forget about me. She came back and we were together for a few months then she started working at a place full of guys then the there was no contact with her. I was like what the crap. She didnt tell me anything. I had nightmares of me being in the room while she was having sex with a guy I had never seen. Later found out she was seeing a guy from work. And that she had finally broken up with her ex.
I said is there any way that we could start over since she now had a clear head. No. She never once loved me or had feelings for me. They were all transferred from her ex to me. Sorry.
In the end I gave my virginity so she wouldn't go to another guy who would use her for sex,gave her my heart, mind, body and soul. I waited 8 years for this girl and she took everything and said it meant nothing. Now I am afraid to even ask a girl out because I believed in her. One time after sex she was like what is your favorite part. aka on her body. I pointed to her heart. I never wanted sex. I kept telling her it was just holding her hand, being in her arms, and looking into her eyes that made me forget everything. Now I fear she is destroying her future. All I can do is pray

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So Sorry!

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John L.

March 12, 2012

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I have not seen my ex since over a yr ago then in the last week and a half I saw her twice. Well today I went to eat lunch with my sis and her husband. I saw her and my sis jumped up and proceeded to tell her that she was a selfish jerk and had major issues in front of her bf. I had told her not to but she did it around the corner. I had prayed that my sis would get the chance to see her but I never thought it would actually happen. At the same time I felt horrible bec I made the promise I would never hurt her. I did not account for the external variable aka my twin sis. One thing she said to my sis that I didnt hear was that she never felt for me the same way I did for her. Sis said. Then why did you say you loved him? Here is the thing even if she didnt and its clear to me for a while now she didnt. You still dont treat someone like garbage, lie about them to everyone including her family and beat the hell out of them when they spent eight months trying to help you.Its about not only choice but just respecting a human being. She ran away. The morning she left I woke up after having a nightmare that she was leaving. I rolled over and kissed her good morning. I ran my hand down her face and said good morning sleeping beauty. I got ready for church and she didnt want to go.I kissed her for the last time and said I love you.I came back and she was gone. Never to be seen or held ever again. She had never even told me she was leaving yet the nightmare I had came true. Dont think I ever put this info on here.

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John L.

March 12, 2012

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Ok to address what you are saying. I am not a freaky Christian. Yes I do get mad at people taking Gods name in vain but here is the thing never label someone you have never met in person also dont judge them. I never do the fire and brimstone stuff bec you don’t scare people to God. We are all different in what we do and the way in which we handle the circumstances of life. In regards to this whole situation with my ex, God put her in my life. I tried to help her. I gave everything to do that. God did one thing and I did the rest as a choice. She accepted everything, betrayed me multiple times, destroyed my name, and who I am as not only a Christian but as an honorable human being. God didnt have her do those things. She chose to do those things and while my relationship with God has drifted from what it once was I know he is still there watching over me. For ex just today.

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jesse

March 11, 2012

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ye human wait so your not one of those freaky christian types that are like always pissed whenever someone uses jesus name in vane are you? cuz now i got a feeling ive been labelingd you wrong... well not exactly labeling ..ah you know what i mean..

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john l

March 06, 2012

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Of course. The question of y will always be on my mind. Or what was the point of the dreams. Only human

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jesse

March 06, 2012

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yo also u still christian?

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jesse

March 06, 2012

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o.. ok ... well i guess it just didnt come across to me that way..

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John L.

February 22, 2012

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Hello how are you?

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Morgan

February 22, 2012

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hey whats up

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John l

February 15, 2012

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Was not an attitude, it was a statement. One that concerns a very common topic amongst ppl of today. I already said I am no better than anyone else. Im just a really nice guy. No I have never used a girl bec before this one and after there wernt any. Based upon my other statements and info, u should know im not that type of person.

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jesse

February 14, 2012

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using "us"??...yoyuru aatttitude isnt going to get you anywhweree i hope you dont talkl like this to girlrs...definitelyay turn off..well arent we all lookoinng for the same things in life...ii bet you used some girls in thhe past even if you dont see it...dont blame people iitd doeesnt help...it didnt work it diddnnt work ...move on..somethings wrong witwh mmyy computeerr...it so slowo -.-

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