Searching for "6"


187 Results For '6'

A

May 06, 2012 @ (california)

Tags: first, break, up


I started dating later in life, so he was my first--and this is my first break up.

We moved in together less than 6 months after our first date. We stayed together for a little under 2 years, but things started getting rocky half way through. I was feeling unsatisfied. I wanted it to work, and i would try communicating to him what I wanted. But for some reason we just weren't on the same page. By the end both of us were feeling worn out and unloved.

I was the one who initiated the idea of splitting. Maybe, immaturely on my part, I was thinking that it would spark something and we'd think, "no, I don't want to lose this person", and we'd try some other way to reach each other. But by then we didn't even know how to have that dialogue. It took me a couple of months to actually move out, but after some emotional drama, in the end he was the one wanting me to leave.

It's been about a month now and I can't stop feeling as though we failed, as though something died. And instead of just leaving it be and moving on, I keep feeling like we could have done so much better. I feel like the situation has brought me perspective, and a new sense of awareness of what it really means to be in a relationship with someone. But apparently it's too late. He says he's too tired, that he needs time to himself.

I could understand taking some time to ground ourselves, so reassess the situation. But in my mind I'm daydreaming about us connecting again like we did in the beginning, with excitement and a sense of adventure. In my mind, the second time around would be more wise, more mature. We'd have a better sense of how to approach it.

But he doesn't even want to entertain the idea, I guess. Embarrassingly, he doesn't even want to take my calls. I keep wanting things from him that he doesn't want to give. It hurts me, and on top of that I feel like such an idiot for trying still.

But I don't know how to let go, you know? I don't know how to not remember all the things about him and our past relationship without missing him.

I guess I'm not even sure if it's him I want. Maybe I am just craving a fulfilling relationship in general, and I keep trying to make him fit into that when he's obviously not the one for me.

It's still so hard to not get all emotional. I can go a couple of weeks without contacting him, but then it's like I can't stand it anymore and I just want to hear his voice. ]:

Pathetic, I know.


       

Bob David

May 03, 2012 @ (san diego)

Tags: Acceptance


We met when I was 21 and she was just turning 18, a little over 5 years ago. There was instant attraction and our relationship advanced quickly. I knew deep down that neither of us were mature enough to be in a long term committed relationship, but we stuck together anyways. There were a lot of good times, fun memories, amazing sex and we were always there for eachother through the ups and downs. About two years into the relationship there were multiple infadelities-- she started sleeping with one of my good friends behind my back and I had slept around with more than 1 girl. Despite this huge blow to our trust and relationship, we stuck together after we came clean with each other on what we had done. In hindsight I know that we stuck together because we were attached and had some form of needyness with each other. I feel weak to admit that, but I honestly just felt attached and couldn't let her go despite the fact that we had both hurt each other severely and that we deserved better. I knew in my heart at the time that I should have let her go, but my impulsive needyness forced me to hold on to a relationship that had become toxic. Since then we tried to rebuild the foundation of trust in our relationship, but we were fighting an uphill battle and there was just too much insecurity and distrust towards eachother. A year and a half ago we moved in together, which was a big mistake. Things were ok on the surface, but deep down we both felt disconnected and unhappy with the relationship. Along the way we became very short tempered and irritated with eachother. She would yell and call me names, I would yell back and say hurtful things-- stuff you just don't do when you say that you love someone. I knew in my heart for a long time it was not right and that I needed to let go, but I just didn't have the courage to part company with her. I feel ashamed for having held on to something that I knew was not right for me. We broke up about 5 weeks ago after she did not come home one night. She told me she went out to party with her friends and stayed with a female co-worker, but my intuition told me otherwise. We both agreed that we were not right together and both needed to stand on our own two feet. We were together for 5 and a half years and although I know that it was not the right relationship for me I still feel a deep sense of loss an emotional pain. Despite having hurt eachother I had considered her my best friend-- we did everything together and wanted desperately to make things work. I have been trying so hard for the last 5 weeks to look at the reality of the relationship, but my mind keeps wanting to tell me that we could have made it work or that I should have been a better man. The fact is I was immature and acted with the level of maturity and awareness that I had at the time-- I think it's fair to say that she did too. I keep beating myself up over what I could have done differently and all the what if's, but it has only held me back from letting go and moving on. I am trying so hard to accept that it's over, but still find myself hoping for reconciliation in the future-- hope that is eating me up inside. I know that we both deserve better and that it cannot work. I am not one to share my personal story on an online forum such as this, but I started reading a book the other day that suggested I post about the breakup on this website. It has been helpful typing this story up and putting things into perspective. I think it's important that I look at my past relationship logically rather than feed off of my emotions. Anyways, I know my story probably sounds crazy or like I am a bad guy for having cheated, but I would appreciate any feedback. I am now 26 and have come to so many realizations in reflecting on the relationship. I really want to better myself and become the best man that I can be not only for myself, but so that I can have a healthy, loving relationship in the future. Most importantly I want to love myself so I never put myself in a toxic relationship again where I think that I don't deserve better. Anyways, stay strong to everyone that is going through similar heart break or emotional pain. Everyone keeps telling me it will pass-- I just hope that it does sooner than later!


       

DEMI

March 23, 2012 @ (missouri)

Tags: betrayal..sex..other man


hi im new to this website...an i jus needed a place to tell my story...imma start off by saying...i jus turned 25 an i was in a 4 year relationship wit a man named jamall...the first 2 years with him was great .he proposed an life was cool until 2 months later after the engagement i caught him in a online affair wit a girl a state away ..so i broke offf the engagment ...so the next 2 years i had caught him up in many lies...until 2010 he started dj at a local club...i felt like i had to live up to his image..he was getting noticable an hott...so i felt as a dj girlfriend i should look da part an i did i bought fake ass pads...an the nicest clothes to meet his standards..well after a year doin that i became someone else i lost my idenity an started becoming someone i didnt recongize...an his actions were getting worst ..until on day in may of 2011 changed my life forever..i meet a guy who was in da army ...he was everything my boyfriend wasnt ...so by that point my boyfriend was doin his thing an he stopped showing me love an care..an attention ..so when this new guy came in my life to provide me all that i loved it...so on our first date we had sex...it was the best sex i ever had...an it jus happened ..we enjoyed it an the feeling we were feeling so we decided to see each other again an again sex sex an more sex...feelings were getting involved an we didnt care he was single i wasnt but it felt soo right ...so he had to leave for germany 3 weeks into me cheating i had fell inlove with him ..an had a man at hme..but i didnt care i was happy an myself with the army guy...so he left an i was faced with my bf back hme..it was the most miserable time ever...i continued to talk to the army guy for 6 months until he came hme again on leave in december 2011 ..we were inlove at that point an i was ready to leave my bf..an all i wanted was the army guy well...i had came across my bf had been sleeping wit a 19 yer old since november 2011 an i found out all this in february on my bday..i was floored ...he say he still loves me but he cant treat me right ...his actions are wht ran me off in the first place ...i really love the army guy an he loves me 2 we r sooo happy together ...i dnt kno if i should leave my 4 year relationship or leve my 10 month affair...please u guys help me but i love the army guy he is da one but my bf we only have time no kids no future plans no promises so ill take all the advice u can give


       

Trisha

February 29, 2012 @ (Cali)

Tags: Lesbian, blindside, experiment, straight


Background knowledge: I am a 24 year old lesbian, known my whole life and came out at 16. She is a almost 23 year old "free spirit" never had been with a girl before but always said she'd never closed it out of her options.

We first talked in May of 2011 and there was instantly a connection between us. She asked me to hang out in the beginning of June for the first time and we hit it off. We went out with a group of friends but me and her were inseperable. I knew she was "straight" so I didn't make any advances but she sure did!! She kept telling me how hot I was, she invited me to stay at her house that night(even made sure to mention I wouldn't be sleeping on the couch), and grabbed my hand to hold it to the next bar we walked to. As we sat there talking she grabbed my head and began making out with me. Wow! We walked back to her place and innocently kissed and fell asleep. She walked me to my final college class the next morning and we were glued to each other since that night. Our "relationship" grew over the next 9 months into something I saw as perfect, one of a kind, unique, and new. She told me she felt the same way. She had never felt so real before and that this was truly the relationship she always dreamed of and I was the person she always dreamed for. I was "the one". The sex was aweesome(in my opinion), and she would tell me how she couldn't wait to spend her life with me, have babies with me, and how truly amazing I treated her. So things are rolling just like they had been when suddenly she tells me, "I don't know about us anymore. I'm so confused and I'm just not sure what our future holds." I let her think for a week and hope she is just saying crazy things and we can make it better. We have a PHENOMENAL weekend but things seem distant still as the week comes. I ask if things have gone back to normal and if she still believes I'm the one and what we have is unique and one of a kind. She doesn't reply. I ask if she wants to break up. Her response, "No! I mean.....I don't know". That kind of said it all. So we hung up after that and she didn't contact me for an entire fucking week!! Blindsided by this breakup, everything seemed perfec for 9 months, then she gets confused and ends it. We finally talk after a week of not taking and she was supposidely so sad and miserable over the situation. After giving me BS reasons that we broke up for 30 minutes, she finally "got honest" with me and let me know that she loved me as a friend and as a person but got that confused with being in love and that she tried to convince herself that she was "in love" but that she doesn't think she is. She could never see a future with me she said. AKA she isn't gay/can't be with a girl! Talk about a fucking slap in the fucking face. It's the closure I needed but now I'm just pissed that I was apart of her experiment that she likely knew the results of early after we met but didn't let me know till now. Plus for her to pretend she was in love with me and wanted a future with me is BS. She isn't the first "straight" girl to do this to me but she is the first to let it last 9 months. She wants to be friends and will talk/text but I feel like it's not a good idea. I think any "pain" she felt is gone now and she is relieved and fine because she "cleared her conscious" and got honest. I don't think she has any pain over losing "us" or this "relationship" and that sucks because I thought it was something different for 9 months but I guess it was all a lie.


       

Abhi

February 07, 2012 @ (India)

Tags: First Love


I recently heard somewhere that “The best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature” so this is my effort to get over her.
I met my first love in my first year of college back in sep 2008 we instantly clicked, I had dated before but never felt a connection with anyone the way I felt with her. It was nice hanging out with her and all so I confessed my feelings to her, she said that she felt the same way about me but was not looking for a relationship as she had just come out of a serious relation and was still trying to get rid of her EX. I gave her time and after 4 months we eventually started dating. We were in a committed relation for 10 months in that period we had met each other’s parents and everything seemed to be working pretty well. Well out of nowhere she told me that she was planning to go out of country for further studies and would probably be leaving 6 months later so she wanted to end the relation as long distance does not work and she would miss me too much to be able to stay away and she wanted to stay friends. Well we broke up; I stayed away from her and had a rebound fling that lasted a month. After two months I started dating a girl which was a mutual friend to my ex and it was going great but my ex started contacting me again and when she found out that I was kind of getting serious about this new girl she broke us up. So I started dating my EX again, we dated for three months and we broke up again that was in the starting of 2011. She contacted me 3 months ago and we have been in touch ever since and she told me that she wanted to get married to me, well we never really started dating again just kept in touch. This created a lot of issues for me as this girl was my first love I still had feelings for her, so I told her that this wasn’t working. We fought a full one month and all she kept doing was postponing things. So day before yesterday I called her up and told her it wasn’t working out and I couldn’t do this anymore, she asked me to meet her but this had been going on for a while that whenever I tried to come to a conclusion she would ask me to meet up and cancel at the last moment this had gone on for a full month so I told her that there was no point and asked her not to contact me again. That night I had a couple of drinks and slept on it, next morning I woke up and it hit me….In the past 3 n a half years we were together a cumulative of a 2 years had broken up 3 times, we both had dated other people but we were always there for each other. I realized that I might never see her again…….ever since I have been thinking if made the right decision….


       

Anon

January 08, 2012 @ (USA )

Tags: Cheating, first love,


We started dating my freshmen year of high school. I thot he was so cute but my friend was talking with him. I was very jealous and I eventually told him I liked him an he admitted he was only talking to my friend to get closer to me. He was 16, popular, and everyone loved him. A few days after us talking I gave him my virginity and he told me he loved me. I told him so did I. We had sex again 2 days later and he asked me to be his girlfriend. Of course I said yes! Our relationship was so playful, we were best friends and lovers at the same time. We were very passionate to be so young but nothing could separate us. About a month into our relationship I started hearing things about him cheating on me, I was devastated. I demanded he give me his Facebook password as I was out of town at the time and couldn't look through his fone or anything. And to my astonishment he had msgd girls on there then thought he had deleted the msgs but I found all of them. I forgave him tho after a big fight and many tears cause in fact I loved him and he was my first. A few months later down the road I had still found out he had cheated on me random times by making out with other girls and I heard he had sex with two of his older brothers girlfriends but it was never proven so I still don't know if that was true. But me and him were closer than anyone . I had given him everything Nd totally devoted my life to him. He seemed to truleylove me he just had commitment problems as his dad had cheated on his mom, it ran in the family. He proposed to me (silly I know, we were so young, but at this time he was 17) I said yes and we just kept it to ourselves and only told close friends. Around the time we had been dating for 6 months I had a pregnancy scare and had to take the plan B pill. This shook things up and made us think about if we really wanted to be together forever. We decided we did and our relationship just got stronger. We had dropped nearly all our friends and it was always me and him. He still continued to cheat wich really really killed me but I pretended to believe him when he denied it and promised he would never do that to me again like he did before so I didn't lose him. Nearing our 8th month together I went to California for a couple of weeks to visit relatives and go to the beach. We talked constantly when I was fone and it hurt us to be away from each other so long . He would call me every night and cry and tell me how much he loved andissed me and that he wanted us to try and have a baby when I got back, I thought about it and considered Then changed my mind. I wanted to wait. He reluctantly agreed and when I got back in town we were together 24/7 . I was looking thru his fine and found pictures on his email of naked girls and he had sent them pictures of his dick!! I was so angry I screamed and said it was the last time I would deal with this and I was done with him and we were Ina parking lot and causing such a scene the cops got called. We were told to leave and I made him drive me home and he did and the breakup was long and drawn out and he cried for hours every night and begged me to stay and threatened to kill himself, he ran away and then came back and started hanging out with this girl about 3 weeks from our breakup. I was glad he was finally moving on since I couldn't deal with his drama. They started datin and now 6 mOnths from our breakup she is pregnant and they are engaged. I still have a special place in my heart for him but I have moved on completely. I am now dying an amazing guy and have been for about a month, not a very long time but I have a connection with him and am very happy. Sometimes it's best to move on from first loves cause they may not have been right and he cheated and hurt me way to much. I have trust problems thanks to him but what I went thru with him made me strong Nd made me who I am today so I am thankful for it.


       

Eldon Matashaw

December 30, 2011 @ (Lebanon Missouri)

Tags: love, marriage, god


I am lost in my heart and my soul. I am very active in my church and I spend a great deal of time proselytizing to help bring others to Christ. Ever since I was 14 our minister has taken a special hand in my learning of Gods will and ways. He even encouraged me to date his adopted daughter Svetlana after he brought her here from Russia. A couple of years later, Pastor Williams encouraged me to marry Svetlana even though we were both still in school. We were married when I was 16 and she was 14. I was nervous as I was a virgin on our wedding night and I wanted to take it slow but Svetlana was very insistant that we have sex. We made love once, then she never wanted to do it any more. 6 months later our beautiful daughter Kima was born, 8 lbs 4 ounces and looked just like her mother. Pastor Williams was so helpful always offering to look after my wife and baby when ever he sent me out to spread the word of God. I had to leave school, because Pastor told me God spoke to him and said I was to be his beacon in the land to guide folks to his eternal love. I was often gone from home for many days and sometimes weeks as Pastor gave me instructions on where to spread His word. One day I was traveling near our home town, so I decided to stop in to see my family. When I went in to our trailer, I found my wife and Pastor Williams asleep in our bed. I could see they were both naked. I was so confused and I left without saying anything. A few days later, I talked to Pastor about it and he said the two of them had been praying and speaking in tongues. They had both been so posessed by the spirit, they chose to bare themselves to the Lord. He assured me that they had not engaged in fornication and that they both were just so exhausted they fell asleep. I believed him because I know he would never lie as it is a sin. Well, last week I found out Svetlana is pregnant again and her and I have not had sex since our wedding night. When I asked the Pastor for guidance, he told me I needed to "man up" and take care of my family. He explained to me that some women can carry a mans seed for years and have several children from only one mating. But then a sister in the church told me that she knew Pastor and my wife were committing adultry and that Pastor is actually the father of my Kima and my unborn child. I dont know who to believe, but I am so hurting in my soul. I think this may be the Lord testing me, or perhaps Satan trying to destry another of God's unions. I asked Svetlana to be truthful with me, and she just left and went to tell Pastor that I am being sinful in mistrusting her. I got on the internet to seek answers and somehow wound up on this site. I see so much pain here, and somehow feel kinship with it. But I also want you all to know, God loves you all, and he wants only your happiness. God has a plan. May he bless us all, Amen.


       

Shane

December 21, 2011 @ (North America)

Tags: example1


Two son's,grandbaby,Big house,cottage,condo in the south,boat,personal watercrafts,atv's,cars,income....Gave it all up for love.
My wife was more like a work partner.Did everything for me and the family. She had very low self esteem and didn't want to do anything socially just with her family.We were intamit twice in 6 years. I had a female friend I use to visit about 16 or 17 years ago strictly platonic we just enjoyed each others company without feeling any pressure. Well we ran in to each other again and a relationship developed this time, I know "shame on me". I fell in love with this woman and we have been together a little over a year.I left my wife and she left her husband. Her two daughters have adjusted extremely well. I love this woman but I’m also heart broken.No one in my previous family has anything to do with me at all not my son's or granddaughter, in-laws, no one. My ex-wife has all the material items, everything including $2,000.00 I deposit in her account every month, we have never been to court or had any outside settlement input. She is still devastated and so are the kids. I’m happy, extremely happy but heartbroken. Sometimes I even feel like I should take my own life just to have the pain and suffering that I have caused other people.
Thanks for a place to vent.
Happy but heartbroken, my sons were my best friends period...I miss them so much.


       

Paul

December 20, 2011 @ (US)

Tags: army break up


Heres a little backround first; Well I started dating this girl April first, a year ago.. This being my senior year in high school, we did about everything together.. Homecoming, prom, etc.... I gave up so much for this girl. I lost so many friends to just be with this girl. I could honestly say this was my first love, and my longest relationship so far... Since mom ey is tight with my family, I thought the best solution for me to go to college was enlist with the Army..heres where my story begins....
I had to head off to boot August 2nd.. To fort benning, for infantry training, right before I left my family and her went out to dinner and such, really had a nice time.. Everything was perfect between us, gave her a final kiss good bye, and off I went..
So basic started I wrote this girl, every single day for nine Weeks... She wrote me twice, toward thr beginning, everything seemed okay, she said she missed and loved me etc..then she just stopped. I kept writing, and wondering whats going on.. At week 9 we got our 36 hour pass. I call her up and she literally was just like "oh hey" in thr most unenthusiastic voice ever, I was so excited to talk to her, she was all that was on my mind for Weeks... And she didnt even care.... We ended up fighting over it.. I was pretty unhappy about it. I expected a bigger reaction I guess..
I ended up breaking my leg and sent home for con leave, comes to find out shes been seeing another dude, she changed her status to single on fb and starts hittin up all these guys... After all this, I still wanted to try and make it work. She acts like im the bad guy, and I deserve this... I just dont get, after dating for a year and a half, I couldn't even get a letter saying "f you, im done" or anything... She just left me in the cold..I still think about her to this day. I've been miserable since she left me, no girl has made me feel the way she did.


       

Miss

December 14, 2011 @ (Clagary)

Tags: example 1


So I knew him since I was in grade five, he dated my best friends' older sister for 3 years, I never thought about him romantiaclly back then, and never really thought I would. They broke up but stayed friends, they are still friends to this day.
When I was 16 my best friend and I started hanging out with her older sister her friends (him included). I didnt really think of him that way stil, until one night my friend told me he was texting her and told her that he thought I was the most beautiful girl hes ever seen, he was shy of me I guess. (But he didnt have a reason to be)I was surprised and excited and I felt awesome. I decided to go try talking to him, when I did he still acted shy around me. But he eventually let down a little of his shyness and started talking and acting more freely around me. Then one day, we were sitting in the backyard with a few of his friends, when all of a sudden they all just started dispersing, once everyone else had cleared he took my hand and asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. It was so cute; planned out. I said yes. He was so amazing to me in our first few months, he was my first, and he didnt push me, and I thought everything was perfect. Then we started fighting. All he wanted to do was spend time with his friends and never even thought to invite me to come. I was seeing him twice a week at most, and our sex life was faltering to say the least. We broke up a few times, off and on again and again. I was the first one to break up with him, he begged me back, cried and pleaded. He seemed like he was actually sorry, so I did. About a year later (off and on) one of his friends started seeing this girl who they met one night at the bar. She seemed alright, not goodlooking by any stretch, but she had something in her personality I guess. I was going to mexico, we were all talking about it one night and this new girl was like " so are we going to be going snowboarding while our partners are in mexico?" and he kind of brushed it off, like he didnt want me to be around while they made plans. It kinda got me going, and all the times he brought her up. Once I actually was losing my mind about it and decided to ask him if he had a thing for her. He brushed it off and said she was annoying...

A few months later she and his friend broke up.

We broke up again, like normal I thought we would get back together again, we talked, made plans and he blew me off. Then one night there was a party, I had to work that night so I couldnt attend. But my friend was there. The next morning she called me and told me that he showed up there with her. I was frantic. I went over to his house. His roommate answered the door and told me he wasnt home. I asked if I could get a few of my things, she let me in.
I went into his room and ther on the floor was her bag, a pair of nasty panties and a bunch of her shit. Oh man did I ever want to burn it, but I didnt, instead I just grabbed everything I ever gave him, and left. I went on a vacation. He texted me a few months ago, and I stupidly replied trying to be just his friend. He texts me now and then telling me how much he misses me, and was stupid. But never really saying anything. Whatever, I have an amazing boyfriend now who I have been dating for 6 months and I am happier than I ever was with him.