Searching for "change"


191 Results For 'change'

Paul

December 20, 2011 @ (US)

Tags: army break up


Heres a little backround first; Well I started dating this girl April first, a year ago.. This being my senior year in high school, we did about everything together.. Homecoming, prom, etc.... I gave up so much for this girl. I lost so many friends to just be with this girl. I could honestly say this was my first love, and my longest relationship so far... Since mom ey is tight with my family, I thought the best solution for me to go to college was enlist with the Army..heres where my story begins....
I had to head off to boot August 2nd.. To fort benning, for infantry training, right before I left my family and her went out to dinner and such, really had a nice time.. Everything was perfect between us, gave her a final kiss good bye, and off I went..
So basic started I wrote this girl, every single day for nine Weeks... She wrote me twice, toward thr beginning, everything seemed okay, she said she missed and loved me etc..then she just stopped. I kept writing, and wondering whats going on.. At week 9 we got our 36 hour pass. I call her up and she literally was just like "oh hey" in thr most unenthusiastic voice ever, I was so excited to talk to her, she was all that was on my mind for Weeks... And she didnt even care.... We ended up fighting over it.. I was pretty unhappy about it. I expected a bigger reaction I guess..
I ended up breaking my leg and sent home for con leave, comes to find out shes been seeing another dude, she changed her status to single on fb and starts hittin up all these guys... After all this, I still wanted to try and make it work. She acts like im the bad guy, and I deserve this... I just dont get, after dating for a year and a half, I couldn't even get a letter saying "f you, im done" or anything... She just left me in the cold..I still think about her to this day. I've been miserable since she left me, no girl has made me feel the way she did.


       

Shitfacegurl

December 13, 2011 @ (Sweden)

Tags: broke relationship, miss, him


It all started at the end of 9th grade, when I was 15 years old, he was in my french class but i never noticed him much, until he added me on facebook and there it all began! We talked for hours and hours 2 hours went to 5-6 hours, but I never dared talking to him in person, because I was to shy. After we graduated from ninth grade, we still kept in touch and we had our first date in July that summer and, already that night he asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend but I said I didn't wanted that yet, and later on after 2 weeks at our second date,i was childish and when he told me his hands were cold and i told him " I know what you're up to" and i held his hand and i told him so are we together now, and since 23-11-10 , we became a couple. We kept it a secret and everything was perfect! Then after 3 months I admitted that I wasn't that in to him from the beginning, I've realized today, that i should never do something before i give it a further thought. And he broke up with me and I tried to convince him to get back together, but he said he didn't trusted me, but we got back together. And then 3 months further he broke up again because he felt I treated him badly, like a bitch and stuff but then again I convinced to get back together and we did. I never realized my mistakes,before its to late! Then since then its been an down hill roller coaster. I did the most dumbest thing ever on our 1st year anniversary, i broke up with him, because he avoided me for a whole week and we fought. It was another mistake. A day later we talked and we got back together again, then 2 months later we fought, and his best friend told me to call my boyfriend and talk about it, but it ended badly and we broke up over the phone, and then we got back again and 2 months ahead, which is by today, we had an argument a week ago and he told me our sex is bad and he was sick of the relationship and we broke up and got back together at the same time, and now its been 5 days since he broke up with me again because I've been grumpy, and bitchy whenever he mentions something i dislike. We didn't talked for 2 days and then he texted me and we argued even more and few hours later he texted back he missed me and i missed him to ofc! And we had a stable conversation and decided to be single and figure things out, but the next day i already asked him if he had decided,what we should do and he told me ladies first, and I've been thinking of it, and I told me it would be better being single, since I've hurt him many times and I was scared and his respond, was just lot of mean,harsh,hurtful words and he said i should give him back all his presents, and that would be a sign its over. But I never handed them over, I still wear the necklace he gave me.
It has been 5 days now, and im going crazy, we have so much in-common and have this good communication with each other, we could text and talk for 12 hours or the whole day exactly, without getting sick of each other.
He has been special to me, since the first time I meet him, I wanted to get to know him, since the day we became a couple, I've changed, i know I'm only 17 now but i love him so much, he was really good to me, he was there whenever i needed him and just stood out with whatever emotion i had, and spoiled me even though i never asked him for much, and he was a gentlemen, except when we argued, he would turn into a huge jerk. Despite all that we've been through, i didn't understood him well before, after all we've been trough over a year now and 4 months, we've handled many things together, and i've supported him with everything we did, even woke up at 5 am and surprised him at the train station just coz i missed him so much <3. Its hard breaking up, i miss him and ive been crying ever since, and i cant even eat properly or even concentrate on things, he is always on my mind. It feels like I've lost him forever, but I still want to hear from him in a few days.


       

Ha

December 04, 2011 @ (london)

Tags: propose, four years


we had been dating for four years, 3.5 years into it, we went into long distance. he moved to london. on valentines day he flew in to see me- halfway across the world- and proposed, it was so beautiful and it was the best day of my life, i had been waiting for this for a long time.
we didnt announce the engagement as i wanted to ease my family into it...complicated story....cultural/religious backgrounds are different
for some STUPID reason, i started to panic in april...i was so afraid of EVERYTHING, the huge change, the move to london, resigning from my job....everything became a huge worry, i guess i got cold feet. i withdrew from him, and he broke up with me (3 months before my move to london). he refuses to talk to me or try to work it out. when i arrived in london, i thought there was hope to reconcile, i messaged him to tell him i will be in town the next day...he posts on his facebook "in a relationship with XYZ". his status never even went to single! now...6 months later...they are still together...i am devestated...i cant see that what i did was so terrible....and he wont give me closure...he just cut me out of his life, just like that, 4 years...and im in london, alone, for him...left everything....job, friends, family...to be with this guy who wont forgive a nervous breakdown!? did he ever even really love me? why the hell would he propose!?i apologized so many times, i just needed strength and he didnt support me through it....i feel abandonded, i feel like i cant move on...he made me so happy and i miss him everyday...living this dream without him is especially difficult...i would do anything to have him back in my life.


       

Poor Guy

December 01, 2011 @ (India)

Tags: long distance, long relation


I ended my 7 year long relation few days back.It started when I was 16. A high school romance...butterflies in the stomach and stuff...We went to college to different cities but it kept on. She was in a girl's college with no guys around. She used to come to meet me sometimes but meetings were rare and it took months for us to meet. We kept together by phone and occassional meetings. I was too emotionally attached to her and felt the same for her as well. Years passed, I thought our love grew stronger. We were different people. I was very ambitious and a little introvert. She was a complete extrovert, liked attention and was not much into career. During college I found a few girls who I thought were more mature than she was but I loved her for what she was, never ever thought of snapping it...Over the years I created an illusion(atleast now I feel so) that she was the one and we are together for eternity. I faced some really difficult time in 2010 and she was rock solid by my side.My love and respect grew for her. I reciprocated in the same way. Being by her side everytime. She said she respected me for that. Finally we got a job in the same city and after 4 long years we were together again. Could meet. I felt complete. I thought our relation was evolving. I got more serious. Told my family. She did the same.(not Mom and dad, but others).I was very happy with her. I felt she was happy with me as well. In july, I got busy with an office assignment, she said she was busy as well.I did not care as I trusted her. In october I was out of the country for work. We were talking still.Perfectly fine. No issues. I came back in November. It was her birthday on 6th. I wanted to be with her 24x7 and told her so. She agreed. But on 4th, she called me and said she wanted to party with friends. After some discussion and my failed attempts to change her mind, it was agreed that she would party with her friends. I was sad. But still wanted to be with her. On her Bday night, I found her lying to me about a guy's call the other night.He was an office colleague whom she knew for 6 months.Trvial issue I thought, we discussed and she said she shouldn't have lied, apologised. I was happy. But to my surprise I caught her lying again. Same day. I was angry. We talked and she confessed that she kissed that guy on her bday. She told it to be an impulsive one and only a one time thing..I asked her to choose between the guy and me. To my freaking surprise she said she is having a strong feeling towards him. I was miserable. I somehow persuaded her to meet me and not think of snapping a 7 year relation just like that. We met the next day, talked.I was so scared that night that I slept holding her hand and kept murmuring,"Please, dont go, dont go" and she kept telling me she wont. She agreed that she made a mistake and she must stop it. But somehow, she was not happy. After a long discussion the next day, she confessed that her bday was not the first time and she had been cheating on me while I was out of the country in October. I was broken. We used to talk every day then and she had no guilt. Nothing. I asked her to forget him and come back. But she did not. She said she could not stop talking to him.. She gave up a 7 year relation for a guy whom she knows just for 5 months. The guy knew about it all around that she was committed. Yet....I feel horrible right now. All the time I was out, I kept telling people that she's waiting for me to get back..she was even calling me and telling me that she missed me and wanted me back soon. But in reality she was in someone else's arms. I don't know if I would ever be able to forget this. I don't know if I would ever be able to love anyone now..I could not believe it..I mean it was all OK for me till 6th, not even the slightest hint.I was buying stuff for her bday.and on 9th, it was over....I feel broken...and find solace only in alcohol


       

Pixie

November 25, 2011 @ (United Kingdom)

Tags: confused, hurt, lost, change, embarrassing


We met in September 2010, at a friend's flat party. He whisked me off to the Isle of Skye for three days of surreal relaxation. We didn't even know each other but both wanted an adventure. I was his after that.

The next year was one of the best. Truly, I was so happy. He was my best friend, we spent most of our time together. He wrote me songs, letters, drew me pictures. I visited his family, he met mine, we all got on. Not one person in my life disliked him. We never argued, and he knew me better than anybody else.

However, this September, things changed. He became more interested in University work and University friends. I can understand that completely, we live in different cities, about 40 minutes apart, but he had literally no time for me, and reminded me of that constantly. He told me to put up with it for the next year and a half.

Things exploded and we broke up over the phone. He then phoned me ten times, I ignored, and he turned up at my flat, on the verge of tears, with a letter saying how sorry he is and how he realises now that he was wrong. I told him we both need to take a bit of room to breathe.

A week later, I asked him to meet up for a coffee, expecting him to be in a similar, apologetic mind set, and with hopes we could find a new way forward, things were going to change. Instead, he told me his life is a lot less stressful without me. "It's not that I don't like you" he said, and proceeded to talk about how we should be friends because we get on so well. He showed no emotion whatsoever. I met him at 3 and was waiting for a train home by 20 past 3. He told me about the "cool" parties he's been to with his friends and the nights he has planned, how some girl was nipping his thigh at the last one and being very weird with him.

I didn't show any emotion. I was relentlessly 'nice' because I didn't want him to have all of the power, or anything to hold against me. Now I'm just trying to pick up the pieces.


       

Kathy

November 01, 2011 @ (Texas)

Tags: Facebook


My girlfriend and I were together for a year. Things were great, we never fought could communicate, enjoyed the same things and just liked being together. We spent a week together everything was wonderful I was falling deeper and deeper in love. We talked about forever. It seemed like we both felt the same. I had to go away for a week on family business. I called her and texted her while I was gone told her I missed and loved her and for three days I got a response. On the fourth day I didn't hear from her and it went on like this until I got home. I signed onto facebook and her status was changed to single. I texted her and asked what was going on. She said it's over. No explAnation. I tried to call and text but she said to stop or she would change her number. I am devastated. She said she never loved me. I found out from a mutual friend that she had started talking to her ex while I was gone. I showed her all the time how much I loved her. I bought her a new car helped her with bills. I feel like such an idiot.


       

AC

October 25, 2011 @ (US)

Tags: indecisive, indecision, flip flop, back and forth


It is apparently over. It feels that way. I have not been able to say the words to her though I think my heart feels it is.

It isn't that I don't love her, its that I am so unsure of what I want for my life that my instincts (or my goddamn brain) won't let me find clarity. Maybe that means I don't love her...I dunno. Or maybe I don't need clarity and I'm just ignoring my instincts which say that this relationship can not work considering the re-evaluation I am undertaking.

I haven't been able to wholeheartedly agree on the direction she would like life to go in...it mostly the children issue. But its not because I'm so against it or worried she isn't good enough to build a life with. I just haven't found a way to say yes or no, to reconcile what I want with what she does so maybe the indecisiveness is my answer.

Even if it means that I change my mind a year from now, I think the answer is "no I can't be what you need and deserve right now." If that's the case and she has a clearer plan for her life, I should let her go so she can find it with someone else. It may be the worst decision of my life and I may regret it but I just can't see a way to put love, attention and energy into this relationship AND try to figure my own shit out.

Part of me feels plain dumb for not having figured myself out at 33, but part of me also doubts that every married with kids person really gave it all as much thought and followed their instincts either. It feels so odd to not inherently agree with the way society goes about relationships, marriage, kids and just maturing in general. Everyone feels like they are on auto-pilot with their life choices. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better about my indecision.

I think in many ways my spirit is flawed, broken...but not irreparable. I will take the time to ask my heart what it really wants and I will keep asking until it responds....because it will. It wants me to be happy and maybe it doesn't even yet know what it wants but when it does, I will fight for it with all I can. I only have one known chance at living. I've got to try and live as best I can. I hate that I don't know that she could represent living life the best way I can, but if we are done and it was a mistake, it just feels like a mistake I have to make, otherwise I am doomed to create the same indecision and same mistakes time and time again.


       

Stephanie

October 25, 2011 @ (California)

Tags: Pain, Drifting apart


I met him just over 2 years ago, on my first day at a new high school. I was 15, and he was 16. He was amazing. He was literally my everything. I started failing all my classes, because I was so preoccupied with him. I was so insanely in love with him. Everything was perfect. We were perfect. For a year we were together. He was my best friend. We were so happy together, all the time. Everybody told us how perfect we were for each other. I gave him my virginity, and him me. He was the only person I'd ever loved. And then.. all the sudden things changed. Right around the one year mark, things started crashing down. We realized that soon, high school would be over for him, and he would be leaving. We talked about moving out together when I turned of age, but that brought up the issue of marriage. He didn't want to be married so soon, and he didn't want children. I didn't want to be married then either, but in the future, I did. I also wanted children.. After that, things stopped being amazing. We stopped talking to each other. I mean, we still talked daily, but we never said what needed to be said. After a month of being together simply because it was the easiest option, I ended it. Today, actually. I still love him, with all my heart, but things changed, we both became two completely different people along the way.. Somewhere in the mess off it all I realized that maybe the point in me loving him wasn't for us to be together forever.. Maybe it was to teach me that somethings just aren't meant to be, no matter how much you try and force it.


       

Talkingator

October 24, 2011 @ (California)

Tags: 1


I met the love of my life 6 years ago, the most perfect guy. We both had gone through a break up so we used to talk everyday, eventually we started dating. We had 6 years of the most perfect relationship, never fought only grew into mature people together. We were always there for each other, even spent a majority of our relationship on two different continents. We come from two different cultures and I guess that was a difference which was minor to us because a big issue for his family. His parents esp his mom wanted me to change in many ways I couldn't and so she pretty much emotionally blackmailed him into marrying a very traditional girl. I'm so heart broken i'm not mad at him because I know first hand how controlling and abusive his mother is. I feel sad for him and I feel sad that two people who are so perfect for each other who brought out the best in each other can't be togeher. I know I have a long road ahead of me, but all i want is just to see him again to be in his arms. I miss the comfort of being in a relationship. I miss my best friend. May he be happy always.


       

Megan

September 24, 2011 @ (MO)

Tags: example1


I started seeing this boy back in April. On our first date he told me he was bipolar. I asked him if he was taking medication for it, and he said no. This, of course, worried me, but I was understanding and empathetic. I continued to talk to him, and we realized that we had many things in common. The more we talked, the more I started to like him. On the third date, he told me that he has been dealing with self-injury for the past six years. I was a little shocked that he would share something so personal to someone he just met, but I took it as a sign that he trusted me enough to tell me these things. He also told me that he didn't think he was in a place to be in a relationship at that moment in his life. I understood. After that date, he continued to text me everyday and we continued to see each other about twice a week. Things progressed very quickly and became very intense. A few weeks later, he told me that he had been diagnosed with boderline personality disorder, and that he also had an eating disorder (which I was starting to suspect). I asked him if he was getting help for any of these things, and he said no. I asked him what I could do to help him, and he said nothing. This was all becoming too much for me, but I had started to develop deep feelings for him, and didn't want to abandon him. I was starting to fall in love with him, and I trusted him enough to have sex with him (he was my first). We talked about us and our relationship, and he was still firm that he didn't want or need a relationship. At that point, however, I felt like we were in one, and was very hurt with his decision not to move forward. We broke up soon after that. At the time I thought we were breaking up because we both wanted different things. I wanted to move forward and start a relationship with him, and he did not.

One week (yes, ONE WEEK) after we broke up, he removed me as a friend on facebook and changed his facebook profile picture to him and this girl. A mutual friend told me that he was "in a relationship' with this new girl. After trying to contact him to figure out what the hell was going on, he simply stated that I was not what he needed.

This whole situation has taught me alot about mental illness and what it means to be romantically involved with someone who has one (or many). If someone tells you they have borderline personality disorder and are not in therapy or seeking any sort of help for it, RUN. If you stay, you will only end up getting hurt. Because they will leave you and replace you in a second.