Searching for "change"

191 Results For 'change'

Beckie

February 02, 2014 @ (England)

When I was 20, and not long after I had gotten out of another relationship I started seeing a guy who I was incredibly attracted too (and i think that may have been one of the only reasons I was with him) He was tall, dark hair, blue eyes and very muscular. I'll call him Dave for this story. So Dave and I started dating and we weren't together long before sleeping together. We were all over each other, but one day I discovered that he was putting a condom on then taking it off without me noticing before we had sex. Needless to say I got pregnant. At first I was completely smitten by him and I was convinced along with all my friends and family that he would stand by me. But before I discovered I was pregnant things started getting a little weird. I noticed he tried to dominate me, just with things like asking me to get the light or make a cup of tea but he demeaned me greatly if I didn't do it. He also kept giving me back-handed compliments like 'I don't like piercings but you SOMEHOW manage to stay pretty even with them' He didn't like me taking my bra off during sex because my breasts were a turn off but he liked having my top off because he still thought I was mostly sexy, didn't like hanging out with me friends, or stop over at my place, would always choose what was on tv even if I didn't like it, (which was usually the case) and the same with music. It was a disaster but just seeing him got me flustered so I put up with it. He told me he didn't want the baby but he'd stick by me if I chose to keep it which I did. Much to my surprise (but looking back it should have been obvious) he dumped me, refused to have anything to do with the kid, tried again 4 weeks after breaking up to get me to get rid of the baby, blamed the whole thing on me and said I just did it for attention so he shouldn't have to be a dad. After my son was born I tried to get child support off him but he claimed he wasn't the dad and refused a DNA test. I would love to get him back one day but I started dating my current boyfriend when I was 7 months pregnant who I had known before hand. He quit a job he loved to get a better paid one, borrowed money off his family to get a nice, decent house for all three of us to live in and asked me not to take money of Dave because as far as he's aware my son is his and he will support him not some jackass that's not man enough to take responsibility. We are now looking into my boyfriend adopting our son, and as a Christmas present I changed our son's second name to his. He cried he was so happy. I was 20, at uni, my family lived in a different country and I was living on my mates couch at the time I got pregnant...just goes to show you that when life is hard there are still some good people you can depends on.

Beckaah

January 27, 2014 @ (NZ)

Tags: confusing breakup

I met a guy on Tinder (yeah, i know that should have been alarm bells from the start). I'd been trying not to encourage him too much as I'd had a really bad relationship in the past which had caused me to have serious trust issues. I told him I just wanted to be friends, and thinking that he would be like most tinder guys and would bugger off as soon as he heard that, I didn't think it would go anywhere. But he was so persistent, and he would message me everyday, and after a few weeks we exchanged numbers and were soon texting every day. I looked forward to those texts because he was a really sweet guy and seemed to be able to cheer me up when I was having a bad day. Finally, I agreed to meet him, and it turned out that we actually had a lot in common, and we got on really well. Then a week later he asked me to be his girlfriend. I wasn't too sure as I didn't know a lot about him, but I knew I really liked him so I decided to go with it and see where it ended up. He went away over christmas for 3 weeks, but we still texted every day, and then he came back and was all excited to see me. And then the shit hit the fan. I thought he was acting strange, but when I confronted him about it he just said everything was fine and it was all in my head. I saw him last Friday and we had a super cute date, and he told me how special he was and how much he loved me. And then on Saturday morning I woke up to a text saying that I obviously wasn't coping with him never being able to see me, and so the relationship was over. It was the most pathetic excuse he could have used as I'd never ever suggested that in my life. I have my suspicions that he cheated on me but I'll never know for sure. He's now cut me completely out of his life( he deleted me on facebook 10 minutes after he dumped me), and I haven't had any texts from him or anything. I still have some of his stuff which I need to give back to him but he won't even see me long enough to let me do that, despite telling me by text that he does want it back. It feels weird to not have him in my life, as he's been such a big part of it for the last 3 months, but I kind of feel like it's for the best. I just miss my good morning beautiful texts that I would get every morning without fail :( I just wish I knew what I did that made this go from being such a happy relationship to such a ruined one

James

January 17, 2014 @ (Australia)

Tags: Bad breakup, Sad, feeling lost and confused

We actually met when I was with my ex at the time a gf of almost 3 years and we were not happy at all and I was going to break up with ex. While out walking my dog I met a really cool chick in whom I had a connection with and shared alot of interests. Anyway over bumping into her on walks over a series of months some things happened and took place that seemed like fate and like were mean't to be together so I took a chance and ended it with my ex for another chance to be happy with a girl that appeared to be my "most ideal". We hung out and had an instant connection, strongest intital connection I've ever had with a girl ever ! Although when were hanging out (not dating yet) she told me a story how she has problems hugging her own parents and with displaying public affection, which waved a red flag in my head but I ignored it. We started dating but we rushed things along way too fast which was bad. We spend a whole week together never happier by the two week mark she had moved in with me and "we" and our dogs were all getting along and it was the best times ever we had plans for the future because everything felt right and mean't to be. In the 2 months I was dating her we were so happy and she was affectionate then 6 days days ago she was so distant no kissing no cuddling no touching, sex virtually no talking at all, almost nothing at all, this went on for about 7 days I couldn't understand it ? I am missing a point here she had troubles with affection in general as I found out. She never displayed affection in public except a few hand holdings under sufference though she was really affectionate behind closed doors. She kept telling me I am not a normal girl and I don't like affection and had excuses for no longer wanting to kiss and cuddle or even spend any time at all together really. Prior to this she was very affectionate for almost the 2months even though she said she has problems with affection. So I ended up making the decision to break up with her yesterday, I still don't understand what happened she was with me almost all the time and had no car so she never cheated also appeared very genuine and sweet, I don't know why she completely shut off and all affection and caring and everything was just suddenly gone. Our breakup was messy she was really cold and sarcastic and I said you owe me an explanation..what happened why were you happy and affectionate for 2 months and now nothing, just shut off and distant ? she said "I dont owe you s@#t ! " and eventually "I just don't have one an explanation an answer I wish I did" just before I broke up with her she posted on facebook I don't know if I'll ever be affectionate like everyone else is.....I should of seen all this coming from spotting the first red flag indicating the sign that she has problems with affection. Right now I kind of feel lost and confused and I will never have the satisfaction of knowing what happened, what changed, I'll never understand it !

Brian E

January 11, 2014 @ (ND)

Tags: bad breakup, crazy woman, fake pregnancy

Well about 20 months ago I began dating a girl with whom I had a great relationship and love affair, for about a year. She was awesome, terrific to laze around and watch a movie with, terrific with my son (id say they were even good friends, I sometimes wonder if he misses her, he doesn't mention it).

About 8 months ago she got pregnant. She wound up miscarrying. After that she had some struggles and the relationship got to be not as good, she kept trying to change herself to look better. I kept telling her I always liked the way she looked. Finally she wound up in the hospital after going drinking with her friends to a bachelorette party and I had to split up with her. I just said "I'm sorry but I can't talk to you, I can't reason with you, I just left my son at his moms for 5 days sitting ina hospital to make sure you're alive and well, I can't handle it anymore" and we split.

She came over and hung out a few times, we stayed friends, she'd play words with friends with both of us everyday, all that. Then family circumstance changed a nd my son and I had to move away from the town we were in.

And thats when things went nuts. She told me she'd missed her period, I said ok. She'd gotten pregnant before, but miscarried, she sent a photo of some positive tests, so I didn't disbelieve her. I said we'll deal with this as it happens, but I'm already committed to moving 2 hours away, so for the time being thats it. While later she sent me a picture of an ultrasound with a caption like "take a look at our kids", we talked about it. A while later she sent another, a doctors report. Then she invited me to some ultrasounds, once in the middle of the week when she knew i couldn't make it as there was nobody to pick up my son, once 1 day after she knew my son and I were scheduled to fly to Cali to visit family for the holidays.

Then she started texting me stories about her amazing love life. How she was dating 2 dudes, how one was "rocking her world" so I got suspicious and just googled ultrasound pictures. I eventually found BOTH THE PIC OF THE POSITIVE TESTS AND THE ULTRASOUND PICS ON GOOGLE IMAGES.

I called her on it, she maintained she was pregnant, with twins no less. Eventually I had to call her sister, her sister said no she's not, she goes to the bar, she lives with our mom, she's just messing with you. So I talked to her about it and she responded with a pic of 4 ultrasound pics next to her ID. Except they were printed and cut with a scissors and ALSO found on the internet.

So I told her to stop it, I knew she was lieing. Then I started getting prank phone calls in the middle of the night, people with blocked numbers threatening to beat me up or "kick my @#%#", strange texts from out of state numbers. Finally someone showed up at my hotel room when I was visiting the old town, at about 9-10 am beating on the door and yelling my name. I figured it was related as I'd gotten numerous late night / early hour pranks the night before.

I wound up having to change my phone number, my email address, and get a restraining order. And she STILL, even though she has admitted to her mom and sister that she is not pregnant, and I've spoken to them about it, finds ways, through mutual friends, to get texts and emails to me about how pregnant she is.

I just hope it eventually ends. And let there be no doubt that truly "he!! hath no fury like a woman scorned" or, as it seems, no crazy like one either.

It has been the worst 4 months of my entire life, truly traumatic.

Mae

December 03, 2013 @ (maryland)

Tags: Bad break up, horrible boyfriend, cheater

So at this point I had been single for a little over a year. I was having a blast and really wasn't looking for a relationship. I had recently become friends with one of my best guy friends girlfriends. They broke and we decided to remain friends. We went out for girls night a few times before, and one night we decided to go over to the next county and bar hop a little. I had just turned 21 so this world was new to me. We went to this biker bar full of people considerably older than us, but we made the best of it and had a few drinks. Then her friends call her that are at a bar near by. We go over there and most of the guys in the bar are friends with her and she had known them since high school. She introduced me to most of them and I really wasn't interested in any of them. The we go to the other side of the bar and there is a group of guys just talking and we walk up to them. Apparently she was friends with them too. She walks away and immediately one of them starts to talk to me. "Hey i've never seen you before, where are you from?" he says and I respond " well I've never seen you either, and i'm from the county over. " " so am, whats your name" he says "Mae" I replied. "I'm Mike, I think I like you already." Then proceeds to put his arm around me and kisses me on the cheek. Naturally, I'm like dude you're too close. Then he bought me a drink and we talked a little. He liked that I was short, and that I had tattoos. I didn't look like your average girl next door. When they call last call he asks me to come home with him, but I said no. He then asked if he could drive me to my car back in our county at least. I agreed. I never usually click with people in general, especially this fast. We got to my car and talked for hours. We exchanged numbers and were basically stuck to each other the rest of the summer. When we met he told me he was going away to grad school and I thought we could just have a summer thing. But by the end of the summer, he was telling me he wanted to keep what we had going while he was away and I agreed. We stayed together for the next year and a half. In that time he had told me many many times he wanted to be with me forever, that he couldn't wait to spend the rest of our lives together, he loved me more than anything, we were going to move in together when he moved back from school ect. Our relationship seemed as serious and as perfect as you could want with someone you feel like you love more than life itself. Everything seemed very mutual.When we were together it was like nothing I have ever experienced. I felt like I had never loved anyone before he came along. He was in my eyes amazing. He constantly told me how much I was perfect for him and that he was all mine. Then one day in october, My older sister decided to look him up on facebook. All this time he had told me he didn't have a facebook. I'm not the paranoid type so I just never thought anything of it. Turns out he blocked me and anyone he knew was close to me. He didn't realize my sister had a different last name than I had. He had a serious girlfriend where he lived, and had been together for a year and a half before he met me. Then when I confronted him about it, he begged me not to tell her. She was who he really wanted to be with and he led me on knowing he was never going to fulfill any of his promises. Our whole relationship was a lie.

Kate

November 12, 2013 @ (Uew York)

Tags: Breakup, too young, sad

Lost Love
I broke up with my boyfriend two months ago. We were together for 1 year. I only have myself to blame. I knew our relationship wouldnâ€™t work when we first started dating. We lived so far away from each other and we were so immature. It was too serious and we were too young. If I only knew then what I know now.

We would try to see each other every other week. For one year we did this. The bus trip took about six hours. At the time it didnâ€™t matter because I got to see him at the end of the trip. When I finally saw him after those six long hours, I wouldnâ€™t feel a thing. Our relationship was an illusion. We looked so cute in front of people but when we were alone we would always fight. The first six months was fine, but the other half was hell. We fought each night, even when we were not together. He would yell at me over the phone and I would yell back. When I said I didnâ€™t want to do this anymore, he would push me on the bed and just lay on top of me hugging me and I would forget everything. I know he didnâ€™t want me to go but we couldnâ€™t keep on living like this. Things were badâ€¦really bad and something had to change.

One night we finally ended it all.

Oh God, the agony. The pain is unbelievable. Itâ€™s rushing through my body, my veins, my soul. The memories take me back to that place. The night where it all went wrong. I said we couldnâ€™t do this anymore. You said you didnâ€™t want to break up. We had to end it; we couldnâ€™t keep on going like this. We shouted, we cried, we loved, one last time. It all played out so well. My hands in your hair, your name on my lips and your hands on my hips. The warmth of each other kept the room warm. It was love in the atmosphere. We looked at each other; and just like that, it all went away. The love we sheared, fading. The feelings we had, forgotten. The warmth in the room, gone.

The morning after.
I walked you to the stairs. You stood there confusing. I stood right beside you holding your hand. The stairs were hard to walk. I felt like a rock every time I took a step. We stopped at the front door. You looked in to my eyes as you had your hand on the door handle. Your eyes were blank and full of tears just waiting to run down your face. We kissed one last time. I cried as you took your bag and walked out the door. I watched you walk away; you stopped and looked back. I remember those other times youâ€™ve left, you would run back straight away, but this time you didnâ€™t. You just kept on walking. And just like that you were gone.

As I watched you drive away, I felt a raindrop on my skin. It ran down my face; just like the tears in my eyes. The begging of a journey for some people, but an ending of a journey for us.

Now itâ€™s finally over. I regret nothing.

Natalie

November 08, 2013 @ (Seattle)

Tags: bad break up, young love, sweet, cute, douche bag, depression, anxiety, high school, sad, ugh

Oh my gosh . My ex boyfriend is a douche bag. I swear .. I was never over him.. but he caused so much pain, and I really tried to .. BUT NOW HE WANTS TO GET BACK TOGETHER . I'VE HEARD RUMORS FROM MY FRIEND ALEX (who is also his best friend) BUT I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT. But now he's smiling at me with those beautiful teeth .. talking to me and luring me in with that voice.. the voice that's like honey and just makes me melt everytime I hear it. He changed me. I wasn't always depressed, even if my life wasn't all that great .. after my parents finalized the divorce, there wasn't much to look forward to. But he was there for me. He was always my shoulder to cry on. Ever since 7th grade . UGH, MIDDLE SCHOOL. I thought middle school was hard; but compared to high school, it was a party.. my emotions are just everywhere.. but yea, the point is, he ended up breaking me in the end. I knew it wasn't gonna last. Of COURSE I knew. But something at the back of my mind just wished it wasn't. And I guess I just couldn't accept the cruel reality that it was over. All those movie dates . All the times he'd put his arms around me.. and that smile- it was directed towards me and me only and I used to literally feel as if we were the only two people in the world. That strawberry blonde/brownish hair .. haha.. the long paragraphs he would send me in the morning about how beautiful he thought I was.. those times in third period where we laughed, he would flip his hair, start strumming that bass guitar of his while the strings teacher would yell at me about dropping my violin and then having to tune it all over again. We lived to make her annoyed omg , but I just miss it . I miss everything. I miss him. I miss not being lonely.

That time on the ferris wheel at the state fair with terry and alex? When we kissed and said 'I love you' for the 80th time?
I miss us.

The truth is, I was never over it. I miss running my fingers through his hair.

I just dont wanna be lonely.

I poured my heart out to him and he took advantage of me.

I miss that fairytale feeling.

But I guess all fairytales have to end. Just ask Troy. He had no problem ending mine.

And now he just wants to walk back into my life again? After all the pain that he's caused? Like nothing's happened? I just can't.

The thing that makes me hate myself the most? Everytime he glances at me, I still get butterflies. When I see him laugh in the hallways, my heard starts pounding inexpilcably fast. And the last and most horrifying thing? I was tempted. I was actually tempted to say yes.

Gaia

May 02, 2013 @ (Berkeley Ca)

Tags: friendship

I met him in college. We had been through a lot with our exes but found someway to be there for each other. Our friendship started off innocent, we had no intention of being together, although i suspected we were both attracted to one another. But we were the best of friends, we spent every day together, talking, exploring, studying, struggling to eat on a broke college student's budget. He was my best friend and I could tell him any and everything. However things changed, one day when I was getting ready to head home for my sister's graduation he and I went to hang out and unexpectedly admitted our feelings for each other. I was so happy that day, i felt like flying. He told me he could imagine us being together in the future. So I went back to my hometown that night not knowing what was to happen between us but I was pleased and he was too. We gave each other butterflies and everything felt so new and fresh between us. I was in love with my best friend.
We never decided to be together, it would be too complicated for us to place a title on our feelings, he and I had just gotten out of our own relationships and thought it would be easier to hold off being together "officially" and just enjoy one another.
We experimented sexually and had a spiritual connection like no other. We had each other's back and spent every day together
But as time progressed, it became difficult for me to be stuck in uncertainty about where our relationship was headed. I began to feel insecure and jealous sometimes, in which I acknowledged and tried to solve by seeing the love in everything and everyone around us. I did not tell him about my jealousies and insecurities, because I knew those feelings were reflection of myself and my fears. However, he began to change... began pushing me away and becoming insensitive to how some of the things he did and said made me feel uncomfortable. I became sad all of the time and would cry and feel hurt.
Then one day we had a talk, I told him how I was feeling and he told me he had feelings for someone else. He was being 100% honest with me (which is a habit of ours) and also said that he did not want to go farther than just having a crush on another girl because he loved me.
Nevertheless, as the semester began to sweep me away to travelling around for work and school and family, he began to hang around the other girl more frequently in my absence. Then he told me that he told her about his feelings for him and she returned those feelings.
So I had enough. I broke things off with him, i told him that we should just be friends... I cant take feeling like this anymore. Regardless of how much we love each other. Its been an emotional roller coaster and I can't deal with it. I wish him joy and happiness and love and I hope he can figure out what he wants. Although thinking about this still makes my heart constrict and tears flood my eyes, i am moving forward. <3

Alanna

March 22, 2013 @ (ukraine)

Tags: break up, cheating

We started our relationship in October, 2010. From the beginning we were extremely comfortable with each other. Needless to say, we shared a level of intimacy that seemed unreal for two human beings to share. For a little over two years, everything was perfect, a strong word to use, I realize, but there seems as though there can be no other way to describe it, all I needed was him and all he needed was me, we’d spent most days together, and the time we were apart we spent communicating through one or the other form of technology, and it was never one sided. I would contact him as much as he would contact me. We became so codependent, irrational as it seems, it was hard to even ever imagine a life without him. I changed the way he thought, when I had had met him he was impulsive, to say the least. His character comprised of instinct and upbringing. He grew up in a large family, and now would be the right time to point out his islamic roots, his father has never had a ‘father to son’ talk and, initially, he too, was introverted. His thoughts, suppressed. I changed that, he no longer believes in following anyone without question, I eradicated his naivety. Before making a decision, he now rationalizes the consequences, or so I thought.
Although originally from pakistan, He lives in a first world country, two years, four months down our relationship, he was invited to pakistan, to attend the wedding of his cousin brother with his cousin sister, yes, cousins getting married is a perfectly normal thing to do in pakistan, never mind the incest or medical issues raised by it. Anyway, he was to be gone for two weeks.
Upon his return, I learnt, through no help of his, that while his stay in pakistan, he had cheated on me, with one of his cousins. Although, I know it is a possibility for any person to cheat, I would never think of him cheating on me. I still have trouble convincing myself some days.
But all that is done now, we broke up in February, 2013. Its been over a month now.
I have forgiven him for what he did. I am not sure if I would ever get back with him for the only reason of the risk of him repeating his impulsive action. It is futile to talk about this as it is under no intention of his to be with me.
We see each other everyday and on most weekends too. And I see him, looking at me, telling me how beautiful i look, noticing the slightest change of my appearance, our legs touching under the table even though there is clearly plenty of room to sit separate. All this is just so natural for me, it appears to almost be innate.
Well, I suppose it doesn’t help that even though we have broken up, we keep an active sexual relationship. We agreed that it was simply too good to let go and neither of us have had sex with another person after the break up, also, we currently live in a country where the chances of either of us having another relationship are slim. So for me, this set up is actually pretty good, but I suppose he wants more.

A common friend of ours is in a long distance relationship, and he currently has a girl visiting him who happens to like him, and to avoid any trouble, he asked my ex to ‘seduce’ her. I presume, it should not have surprised me, but when he jumped at the opportunity, I was left speechless. I was moving on, happy even, but this little event left me hanging dry, and feelings I was too scared to confront before have managed to finally push their way through. As I type this, he is meeting her, today, for the first time, in hopes to sleep with her. And I am left, feeling alone, unwanted, insecure. I feel as though he moved on too quickly, with so much desperation, it disgusts me, makes me feel disrespected. I worry that even the times in our relationship when we were happy was also a lie. I can not live with that truth.

N\a

February 20, 2013 @ (narnia )

Tags: can't even

I don't really know why I felt compelled to do this, but i mean why not. basically, me and this guy were together for about 10 months and i've never been more comfortable around a person ever. stupidly, i thought we were "perfect" for each other if there is such a thing but i was happy and i had let my guard down... which was also stupid because i know that only leads to being even more hurt at the end. anyways, everything was great and i'll always appreciate everything he's done for me but he's now lost every single ounce of my respect. I realized he began to change over the summer and there were several red flags that the relationship was going downhill. but of course, i didn't want it to end so i dealt with more bullshit than i ever should have put up with and i realize that now. but oh well, can't change that. come september (i think..) we had both changed. for me, it was due to an excessive amount of stress. school had just started again and my family problems had begun to escalate once again so obviously i wasn't myself but i thought i had him there to fall back on considering that's what i was led to believe. we started getting into arguments more often, sometimes my fault, sometimes his; we were both at fault. but when we spent time together on the weekends, which he always kept pushing for, everything was fine and arguments were almost non existent. so of course, i wasn't thinking about how badly i was about to get dumped. not even a week before he broke up with me, he had asked me to our school dance a month away on a night we had spent outside with a fire and smores, and laughing blablabla. a day or two after that he had asked me to his cousin's birthday party, even further than a month away and i had gladly accepted both offers. this gave me reason to believe that everything was gonna settle out again, i mean who wouldn't think that right? A couple days later, he dumped me & the night before that he told me that he still "loved" me (quotes because i hate that word). As he was breaking up with me, he was crying and gave me three excuses as to why he was doing it including stress sports and family pressure and he couldn't balance me in the equation. he also dropped the "but we're best friends. we can still be best friends" bomb on me at the same time and demanded hugs from me and also said that the past two weeks didn't feel the same to him. sometime during that two week period he had snuck over from about 1 in the morning till 6. honestly, i'm still confused about everything. & it gets worse. he texted me THREE times that night asking how i was and telling me about his family arguments and whatever and i was just like um what.