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Lyn

January 23, 2014 @ (New york)

Tags: Bad break up, I still love him, First love


Our relationship was totally unexpected. Last september 2013, a guy that I had a teeny tiny bit of a crush asked me out unexpectedly. No clues, No everything. Out of shock, I started freaking out. I don't know what to do. My mind screamed no, but heart says yes! The reson why i don't want to go on is because im scared of my mom. Like really. She's the definition of a really strict mom. i was scared but then a thought crossed my mind.

Why not accept this? Everything happens for a reason right?

That's when I said Yes. For the first 2 weeks it was amazing. The sparks, the giddy butterflies in my tummy were there until my mom found out about him. It was horrifying. My mom was in range. My mom threatened me to talk to him in school. I was scared. I told her that I promise to break up witj. So I did. I explained to him everything. After a day, things were back together. We decided to mend things back together. I mean we aren't officially dating but you know what I mean? You can sense that something's still going on? Yup, that's it. October came, he stole my first kiss. It was magical. All I could ever think about is that I love him. That everything revolves around him. Its like he's my world. He's my strength yet he is also my weakness. Everything in him is just perfect. The way he surprises me with kisses.. The way he brought Gatorade just for me (Gatorade is my favorite drink, i just love that shit lol)
It was perfect. Everything was perfect. There are even times when he makes silly jokes or I took glances at him in class and im like 'shit, I love this guy' I was soo inlove. It was just.. Perfect. I never been so happy in my life. Everytime I woke up he's all I ever think about. He's cute 'Good Morning's'.. It made me cry, thinking about all those happy memories.
When christmas break came, he told me that his wifi router got broken.. Me, being the understanding girl that I am, understands him. I told him it was okay that he shouldn't worry about me.

(We talk and chat in Kik. We can't text since my mom checks my phone all the time)

One time, back at christmas break.. I was looking at my chat box in facebook but Something totally made me stop in my tracks. He was online. And he was usinh he's phone. I messaged him, i did everything but noo, he wouldn't reply anymore.. I don't know why. Christmas eve came, I kept on looking at my phone hoping that maybe he'd greet me a merry christmas but no, nothing came. It broke my heart. But one thing crossed my mind. I was like 'oh maybe he's wifi router is still destroyed'

New year came, I was waiting. Waiting for him to atleast greet me but no, nothing still came. It hurt me. It Crushed me .. to millions of pieces. But there's one thing that made me ball my eyes out.. He's close friend messaged me in facebook. He's like;

Happy new year __ ! How are you and him? I hope that this year is going to be a big blast for both of you. Best wishes. Haha don't forget im one of your #1 Fans of LYN! hahaha cx

That totally made me cry. I mean out of everything why that? Why his friend.? Its really heartbreaking to know that he's friend greeted me, while him? No. There was no effort. It crushed me. The way his friend says he want us to be good this year. It break me.

School came along, i tried not to approch him. Waiting for him to atleast apologize or say Hi, or ask me how my christmas break went but nothing. He never did. It crushed me. The next day, I tried talking to him but he was distant like he really is. He's bestfriend approached me and told me he wanted to talk. I listened. He's bestfriend told me the truth. He met a girl back at christmas break. He went to the movies with her and ate in a restaurant. It killed me. I was paralyzed in my seat. My breathing hitched. My face paled. My mind went blank. I felt like crying but my tears wouldn't fall. My eyes feel numb. My skin is on fire. I feel like someone just throwed me a bucket of lava. Just like that. It crushed me. I've lost weight. Im not the happy girl like before. Every recess or lunch, I don't mingle with my friends anymore. I just stay in the classroom, facing the wall, got my phone out and stay there till' its over. It crushed me. I'm not the bubble person that I am before. But you know what hurt me the most? He acted as if I never exist. It was like I was invinsible. That he couldn't see me. Just like that. There are times that I break down in class. I just couldn't help it. He looks soo happy without me. Huge smile in his face. And well, I also think that he has a crush on this girl.. He craves for her attention. He sits with her all the time in class. He talk about her all the time. I don't know what to do. Its killing me since we are classmates. I could see him everyday. Its hard to ignore him. It really is. It broke my heart. he is the love of my life. He's my everything. He's the only reason why I smile. Its hard. I mean he is after all my first love. My first ever boyfriend. My first kiss. It hurt me to know that another that I love, would leave me again. Like my dad. He left me. I mean sure, I got to see him and everything but it isn't like before. My dad has another daugther who is my half sister. My dad loves her so much. He wouldn't even bother to talk to me anymore. He wouldn't crave for our communication. When me and my dad's girlfriend fight, he always take her side. It kills me. Another guy who I love would leave me again. Wow, What did I do to deserve this? It kills me. Its almost a month now but im still not over him. He's all I could ever think about. I don't know what to do. I want the real me to be back again, but it wouldn't. Its hard to smile. He looks soo soo happy without me. It break me into millions of pieces. It made me realize that love is shitload of bullshit. I honestly don't believe in love anymore. I mean why? No matter how loving or caring that person is to you, they will break you in the end. Those people out there that are experiencing heartbreak, don't worry. Your not the only one. Im trying my hardest to stay strong. Let's just believe in ourself, have faith in God. And never say never


       

James

January 17, 2014 @ (Australia)

Tags: Bad breakup, Sad, feeling lost and confused


We actually met when I was with my ex at the time a gf of almost 3 years and we were not happy at all and I was going to break up with ex. While out walking my dog I met a really cool chick in whom I had a connection with and shared alot of interests. Anyway over bumping into her on walks over a series of months some things happened and took place that seemed like fate and like were mean't to be together so I took a chance and ended it with my ex for another chance to be happy with a girl that appeared to be my "most ideal". We hung out and had an instant connection, strongest intital connection I've ever had with a girl ever ! Although when were hanging out (not dating yet) she told me a story how she has problems hugging her own parents and with displaying public affection, which waved a red flag in my head but I ignored it. We started dating but we rushed things along way too fast which was bad. We spend a whole week together never happier by the two week mark she had moved in with me and "we" and our dogs were all getting along and it was the best times ever we had plans for the future because everything felt right and mean't to be. In the 2 months I was dating her we were so happy and she was affectionate then 6 days days ago she was so distant no kissing no cuddling no touching, sex virtually no talking at all, almost nothing at all, this went on for about 7 days I couldn't understand it ? I am missing a point here she had troubles with affection in general as I found out. She never displayed affection in public except a few hand holdings under sufference though she was really affectionate behind closed doors. She kept telling me I am not a normal girl and I don't like affection and had excuses for no longer wanting to kiss and cuddle or even spend any time at all together really. Prior to this she was very affectionate for almost the 2months even though she said she has problems with affection. So I ended up making the decision to break up with her yesterday, I still don't understand what happened she was with me almost all the time and had no car so she never cheated also appeared very genuine and sweet, I don't know why she completely shut off and all affection and caring and everything was just suddenly gone. Our breakup was messy she was really cold and sarcastic and I said you owe me an explanation..what happened why were you happy and affectionate for 2 months and now nothing, just shut off and distant ? she said "I dont owe you s@#t ! " and eventually "I just don't have one an explanation an answer I wish I did" just before I broke up with her she posted on facebook I don't know if I'll ever be affectionate like everyone else is.....I should of seen all this coming from spotting the first red flag indicating the sign that she has problems with affection. Right now I kind of feel lost and confused and I will never have the satisfaction of knowing what happened, what changed, I'll never understand it !


       

123

December 21, 2013 @ (uk)

Tags: heartbreak bad break up


So this summer I went on a language course in valencia. And on my last night i met this beautiful polish girl. The school I was going to had arranged a dinner and I wanted to sit with all my friends but the only space was next to her, who I had previously not met. Anyway, we started talking and got on really well all through the evening, at the start I didnt think she liked me but I realized she did when I kept catching her looking at me when my head was turned away. The next day I came back to UK and we started talking loads on facebook and skype. Skyping her was always the best part of my day. We spoke for about three weeks like that all the time her saying yeh you should come see me in poland ! So i thought about it and eventually got round to booking my tickets and eventually went to see her for a weekend. We had the best weekend ever and got on amazingly well, slept together every night and talked about how much we liked each other and how cute we were and how amazing this whole situation was. She said she had not felt like this with anyone for a really long time and that she felt so comfortable with me which was weird as it usually takes her much longer to get so comfy and like someone so much. She was basically the first proper girl I had done anything like this with, so it made me feel really good and she said how special I made her feel and how I gave her shivers down her spine. Basically, I was head over heals for her and she genuinely seemed to like me as much as I liked her. I came back and a few days after we skyped and I bought my tickets to go back in about a month and a half's time. The first few weeks were fine, although I missed her loads and thought about her all the time we spoke loads and she always said how much she couldn't wait to see me and that she adored me and that she wanted me and how much she wanted to kiss me and hug me etc, considering this was my first girl I was basically in this amazing haze of happiness, everything just felt so good. But as time went on I think we both began to realize the reality of the situation. Neither of us wanted anything serious or it to be more than a bit of fun, but at the same time I think she fell for me as much as I did her. We began to text a bit less as she got busier and things started to slow down, and even skyping wasn't so great anymore. One night we skyped and I told her that I didn't think things were going to work out well and that there was no way that they could and that the whole situation was a bit stupid. The next week was terrible we barely spoke and when we did it was awkward. The more I thought about it that more things didn't make sense espeically as we weren't even properly going out or together or anything. I did try to hold thingks on since I had already bought my dam tickets but she began to be really cold and distant and said she had been on dates with some guy, which although we did agree was fine that if we see someone we like we should go for it, although it did make me feel like shit as she knew i had bought my tickets to go there in just a few weeks time. It eventually ended when she told me she was seeing some guy and that we could only be friends if I came to see her, and that it wasn't the fact she was seeing someone else it was the fact its too difficult to maintain anything even though everything she said was true. Although I understood and knew deep down it was always going to end badly, I still felt terrible as it was a week before I was meant to go and I thought it was bad how she started seeing someone knowing I had booked everything and more that she accused me of becoming too attached, when she had told me all this stuff and that it was true...I will never understand why she couldn't see that. I haven't spoken to her since and don't intend to, but it really sucked at the time, cried for three days straight and generally just felt completely empty and destroyed and completely unhappy and without meaning or drive. Although we werent official or anything it still sucked, but it does feel good to get it off my chest ! word of warning, the first experience with a girl / women will never end well, beware that they also can say shit and then the complete opposite a few days later....definitely scared of getting involved with anyone else for the time being !


       

Isabella

December 03, 2013 @ (New york)

Tags: Ugh


I need to vent. In advance, thanks for reading.

He is the last person I thought I'd be crying over. I had just moved and was new in school - it was a smallish town and there wasn't really that many new kids. So everybody was introducing me to everybody. Cutting class with a friend walking around, a group of guys walk up to my friend and he starts talking to them and what not and introduce me to them. I could tell that they are older -some a lot older- I don't even think they went to my school. One of them, Drew, stayed behind everyone with me as we all walked on the narrow sidewalk. We talked briefly I learned he was also cutting, he was some what of a "bad" boy he would always be getting in trouble and smoking weed and all that. My first impression of him was he's cool, he's like me and he's cute! But I never pursued him neither did he with me. I just saw him as a friend. Yeah he's cute but I didn't feel anything towards him. He'd always greet me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek every time and wait for me by my class. I saw him in and out relationships and when one got kinda serious I actually got upset! But not enough to really care and got over it almost right away. His best friend had a thing for me and I let it slide but felt really uncomfortable cause I didn't want drew to find out. I met him in 08 and the years passed and our friendship was just that - a friendship. We didn't become best friends and start dating we didn't have any of that fair tale crap.

Since he was older he left school before I did and after that I barely saw him. In all honesty I didn't really care, he was my friend but just my friend and it wasn't such a tragic thing when we stopped talking. I was on my Facebook and I came across one of his exs and she was getting married! I thought it was to him but then saw that it was to someone else. In my head I thought to myself why do I care? Whatever, right? So I looked him up and we started talking again and catching up and exchanging numbers. He lived close by and he had a car so he was literally only 5 minutes away. He grew to be even more handsome than I remember. And I'm not your typical girl - I'd rather take apart a car engine than get my nails


       

Mae

December 03, 2013 @ (maryland)

Tags: Bad break up, horrible boyfriend, cheater


So at this point I had been single for a little over a year. I was having a blast and really wasn't looking for a relationship. I had recently become friends with one of my best guy friends girlfriends. They broke and we decided to remain friends. We went out for girls night a few times before, and one night we decided to go over to the next county and bar hop a little. I had just turned 21 so this world was new to me. We went to this biker bar full of people considerably older than us, but we made the best of it and had a few drinks. Then her friends call her that are at a bar near by. We go over there and most of the guys in the bar are friends with her and she had known them since high school. She introduced me to most of them and I really wasn't interested in any of them. The we go to the other side of the bar and there is a group of guys just talking and we walk up to them. Apparently she was friends with them too. She walks away and immediately one of them starts to talk to me. "Hey i've never seen you before, where are you from?" he says and I respond " well I've never seen you either, and i'm from the county over. " " so am, whats your name" he says "Mae" I replied. "I'm Mike, I think I like you already." Then proceeds to put his arm around me and kisses me on the cheek. Naturally, I'm like dude you're too close. Then he bought me a drink and we talked a little. He liked that I was short, and that I had tattoos. I didn't look like your average girl next door. When they call last call he asks me to come home with him, but I said no. He then asked if he could drive me to my car back in our county at least. I agreed. I never usually click with people in general, especially this fast. We got to my car and talked for hours. We exchanged numbers and were basically stuck to each other the rest of the summer. When we met he told me he was going away to grad school and I thought we could just have a summer thing. But by the end of the summer, he was telling me he wanted to keep what we had going while he was away and I agreed. We stayed together for the next year and a half. In that time he had told me many many times he wanted to be with me forever, that he couldn't wait to spend the rest of our lives together, he loved me more than anything, we were going to move in together when he moved back from school ect. Our relationship seemed as serious and as perfect as you could want with someone you feel like you love more than life itself. Everything seemed very mutual.When we were together it was like nothing I have ever experienced. I felt like I had never loved anyone before he came along. He was in my eyes amazing. He constantly told me how much I was perfect for him and that he was all mine. Then one day in october, My older sister decided to look him up on facebook. All this time he had told me he didn't have a facebook. I'm not the paranoid type so I just never thought anything of it. Turns out he blocked me and anyone he knew was close to me. He didn't realize my sister had a different last name than I had. He had a serious girlfriend where he lived, and had been together for a year and a half before he met me. Then when I confronted him about it, he begged me not to tell her. She was who he really wanted to be with and he led me on knowing he was never going to fulfill any of his promises. Our whole relationship was a lie.


       

Becca

December 03, 2013 @ (belfast)

Tags: creepy, ugly, slutty, tramp


YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A LIAR AND A ASSHOLE!!!

so I was going with this boy for six months I know its not long but things were beginning to get serious so soon! He would tell me he loved me and that he wanted to be with me forever, I mean he proposed and everything but boy did I feel like a fool for saying yes. Things were going so smooth and we were getting along very well then all of a sudden I got a call from my cousin Kyla saying that he was in town with my best friend at this time, so I began to get angry as he was in Belfast as he lived a few miles away and I hardly been him. He lied to me and said he was away to help clean up his house a little then out to his friends just, the point is he was hiding that he had been up and lied to my face. Only for my cousin telling me I wouldn't have known, then after a while I just let It slip then things went back to normal. I then went to my cousin Kyla's to see her and Rhys who was my boyfriend at the time and we had fun we had a party with lots of alcohol and sure I was up doing gangnum style and ended up being sick half way through the dance, then it was time for bed. The next day I woke up and had to get ready to get home and Rhys was on my phone signed into facebook while I was straightening my hair but he was acting weird and he kept hiding the phone so I took the phone and seen messages from this girl names Rebecca Redmond saying "when will we meet up again and where xxx" so then I knew he had been cheating. I didn't know what had came over me and I just started head-butting him and punching him and he kept denying it then my cousin came in and had to make me calm down, it was like she was trying to tame an animal at this point. Later that day he walked out while I was crying and I tried looking everywhere and was late for my bus as me and his two friends looked for him then a couple of days later his new girlfriend then phoned and said he had cheated on me a lot of times and just five days into his new relationship he had sex with her and I was angry at how she was acting she was just a bitch!!


       

Thomas

November 15, 2013 @ (Hollywood, FL)

Tags: THE WORST BREAKUP, facebook breakup


I was out of town for work. She told me that she was going to go out with friends. No big deal! Well, photos showed up on FB and I saw her in the background KISSING MY friend. Nothing worse than being hours aways and can't do anything...


       

Morgan

November 04, 2013 @ (United States)

Tags: The worst feeling in the world is being replaced


We were together for four years. I loved him with every ounce of me. I gave him my all. He was my everything. His parents were a big issue, they never allowed us to go out on dates and we constantly had to hangout with his family. He never asked me on dates, and never really wanted to spend time with me. I loved him more than he loved me I guess. My graduation party came and went and he never showed. His father would not allow him to come to it. It hurt very bad but I wanted to stay with him through it all. A few days went by and he said we needed to talk. He came over and broke up with me that night, he said he needed to focus on himself and I was not outgoing enough for him. It hurt days passed by and I found out he cheated on me with a girl four years younger than he is. Shortly after I went onto facebook and had to see pictures of them begin to appear, comments and love statuses going up about each other. His parents are constantly talking about how much they love her and how she is perfect for him. I thought he was the one, and he told me we were going to get married that i was the one for him. Four years, we were together four years and he moved on. He moved on and I cannot get him out of my head. I hope everyday he will come back to me and it tears me up inside what he is doing. He can take her out on dates, hangout with her all the time, and do everything for her. What does she have that I don't? I thought he loved me...


       

Jess

October 24, 2013 @ (Florida)

Tags: Bad break up


At the beginning, I knew better. I knew better than to date someone who I hadn't been friends with for a while.
I knew better.
Yet still I was determined that this guy I was seeing, was worth it all and that everything would work out. He promised me. Doesn't he know how to keep promises?
His parents got in the way. Always. I learned to accept that, and even though they would insult me to the point of tears, I never gave up on this guy. I never lied, cheated, or never kept my promises.
I let him in, and we enjoyed eachothers company. Just two lovers, happy with no interruptions.
I learned his likes: Baseball, Christ, Spicy Food, Powerade Zero Orange, Orange anything, Food always, and much more.
I learned his goals: Finish college, own his own Chick-Fil-A or sports bar.
All of my friends loved this guy, because I was happy.
I really was happy.
He never really went out of his way unless I begged though. I wasn't sure how to take it, but I never got really upset. I just asked him to please do something to make me feel special.
He ALWAYS promised.
Lies?
I mean he always said he had a surprise for me, and the times he actually gave me a note, it would be two sentences.
Still, I was happy.
Suddenly I became less important.
Morning texts consisted of "Good morning, love you." You're telling me you had 30 minutes ride to college and all I got was that?
It used to be "Pick me up at 10:30AM, let me ditch school to be with you."
Suddenly, I didn't feel like enough, and even though he reassured me that I was, he never showed it anymore.
My birthday weekend was terrible. Last minute he decided what was more important, It wasn't me. Not even on my birthday weekend.
I was upset. I forgave him.
We moved on, but he no longer kept his word that he had surprises.
Why lie?
I became a part of his life and suddenly he could lie to me.
I loved him anyways.
I don't know if I expected too much, but I didn't ask for a lot.
I gave him so much.
I always supported him with any decision he ever made.
I tried to make him happy still.
I recieved broken promises.
My sister died. It hit me so hard, but I never showed it.
I didn't want to bring him down.
He never asked if I was okay. Not once.
I wasn't okay. I'm STILL not.
I loved him anyways.
He lied to me and said he would go to the funeral with me.
I felt special.
Then he said no... I felt worthless.
He could see how much pain I was in, he still said no.
I forgave him. That is unforgivable. I needed him and he walked away, work was more important.
I still went to his work, I hugged him and cried. He made everything okay suddenly.
Suddenly, I didn't feel worthless.
Then came Sunday.
I was broken. My mom was in the hospital, my sister died.
Broken.
He broke me MORE.
He walked away from me at the worst time.
I let him go, he didn't fight to stay.
Suddenly, those endless nights talking, random walks, the aquarium, my birthday, the baseball games and laughing in bed... were to be broken memories.
We talked that night. He lied. He gave me false hope.
We got back together and suddenly it was okay. We could fix this. Love could fix anything.
I forgave him.
He broke me even more.
Suddenly he ignored me all day. We spoke only late at night.
His parents got in the way. I could see how much he let them control him and his happiness.
He hid me from them, like I was the dirt beneath them.
He toyed with my emotions. We were together, he just wouldn't tell anyone.
Worthless.
I broke even more.
I tried to forgive him.
It was my turn to stand up and walk away.
I did.
---

And now it's been a week and I found out I'm pregnant. He knows this, and I'm pretty sure he wants to get back together because of it, and because he says he wants to be with me because it was a mistake to break it off.

A couple days later, I figured out he deleted every picture of me and us off of his facebook (he says he didn't do it), like the 11 months we were together didn't exist, I didn't exist and I could be erased that easily.

So I took him out, between college classes, and we fell back into the routine. He made me laugh, smile, even looked me dead in the eyes and said he wanted me back. Well it's a little embarrassing seeing as his mother is his friend on facebook and probably saw everything erased of us. Still, I was considering it.

I went to drop him back off at College, and I sat there in my car asking him if he had flirted with any girls. He said no. So I said, alright... Well let me see your phone (I honestly wasn't snooping, I just wondered if he still had pictures of us in his photo album. He did.)

Right then a girl messaged him and it opened up, and I know I shouldn't of read any of it, but I did. Shame on me. IT WAS ON FACEBOOK CHAT. It went like this:

Him: Hey
Her: Hey
Him: How are you?
Her: Didn't you just break up with your girlfriend?
Him: How do you know I had a girl?
Her: Look I don't have time for this nonsense.
Him: Do you want to get to know me?
Her: Go sit in front of a TV with a tub of icecream.

And that was it. I told him to get his shit and get out of my car. Generally, if you want someone back, you don't go around flirting?

He texted me saying he was sorry, that it was just a question. I was pissed, he sat there and acted like I didn't even exist, talking to other girls. How serious was he about getting back together, because HE was the one who suggested it. Turns out that wasn't the only girl he had been talking to.

He then turned it on me saying, "I thought we were done and you were talking to other guys, that's why I did it."

No, actually I don't play with peoples emotions. I hadn't talked to any guys. I wouldn't of anyways, but the fact that I'm pregnant and knew he needed to be there in this childs life, pushed me even further to try and make it work out.

I'm so confused!


       

Jenny

February 20, 2013 @ (Canada)

Tags: boyfriend, liar


This all began after I had broken up with my ex ( connor.) I wanted something new and exciting. 2 weeks after, my bestfriend introduced me to a guy by giving me his number. His name was Mathew. Good looking, had his own car, fun

From the moment I met him there was something about him. He would always pick me up, bought me expensive gifts, which was unnecessary but I loved it. The thing with mathew was that, his stories never seemed to add up, and about the silly things. For example, he would tell me that he didnt like this movie, and a month later he would say he really liked it. We would always get in these confrontations because I never knew what was going on in his head. He was an amazing liar. He had many issues, his dad was an alcoholic, he had issues within himself. I wanted to be there with him every step of the way, I gave up so much for this guy. He had never told anyone he loved them before, it was a HUGE thing for him, and finally after seeing a psychologist for that and other problems, after a year we had been dating, he finally told me he loved me. I left for hawaii with my family shortly after, and we would talk on facebook even though I found he was being really distant.

When I came back, I had a feeling something was off. I asked him if he had been going out behind my back, and he took my hand, looked at my straight in my eyes and said " I promised I havent been lying to you about ANYTHING. " But that was lie within itself.

I found out that he had been lying to me, well everyone about his personality, who is he. As i mentionned above how he would lie about liking a movie, even a certain food- only to get me to like him. And it worked! He never ever told me things that he didnt like about me. If i did something to piss him off, he wouldnt tell me and he would go talk shit about me to other people to get his anger out.. I didnt know this. I had broken up with him, and he seemed really sad and guilty, so i offered a break, just for few days to think things over. 4 days later I contact him, and he tells me to get out of his life, he hates me, he was only with me cause he felt bad for me..? im so confused. Apparently he was just tired of pretending to be someone else around me, and having bottled up all his emotions he blew up on me.

What I fell inlove with was just a bunch of lies put together. Right before we went on break, he admitted to me that the psychologist wanted to send him to see a psychiatrist, im guessing to get diagnosed with most likely a personality disorder. Its hard for me to move on from here because I just keep thinking back on what was true and what was a lie.. Ill never know. I seen pictures of him clubbing 2 days ago and it hurt me so much. Im doing my best to move on, I really thought this guy loved me, I shouldve listening to the warning signs from the begining.