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158 Results For 'help'

Maddy

December 19, 2010 @ (united states)

ok so me and my boyfriend were dating for a year 4 months.we were completely in love with each other for a year..then things were getting weird so we broke up,we then decided that we couldnt live without each other and got back together.we broke up and got back together about 3 times in 4 months.well we had a christmas dance the day after his birthday.things were going pretty good we had our little fights but what relationship doesnt? so the day of his birthday he we probably hungout for an hour.he said that he had things to do like go chritmas shopping and go out to eat with his family....i wasnt invited.oh and christmas was 4 weeks away.seemed a little fishy.so the next day, the morning of our dance, he decided that he didnt want to go with me.i was so confused and ddnt really understand why.but we ended up going.we had a lot of fun at dinner but he was being awkward at the dance...that night my mom had decided that she didnt want me to be with him.so she made us breakup.it was terrible...but we still talked at school (the breakup happened on sunday) on monday he told me that he loved me and that he still wanted to be with me and i told him my feelings were mutual. well on tuesday he was all over this girl and they were holding hands at school all day...i go home to find a facebook message saying that he oesnt want anything to do with me and that he hopes it will work out in the end.i was doing good for two weeks.i was hanging out with another guy and didnt really think about my ex.well i just recently broke down.every song i heard remindedme of him...i read all the notes and messages we sent each other.we were in sooo much love with each other.he screwed me over so bad and i dont know how to get over him.i miss him so much and i still love him but i dont want to.he has been such a jerk to me and he hates me.help! i need advice...please help.

Sarah

November 25, 2010 @ (Michigan)

Tags: 2

My situation is unique for why i have such a shattered heart.... i was with my boyfriend for 6 months...i know its not that long but i loved him more than anything he was my best friend and i trusted him...and he got me pregnant....When i first told him the news he was excited and wanted me to keep the baby. Even though we're both really young and I myself am not ready to be a mother. But because i loved him and i wanted to be with im forever i thought maybe we could make this work. Then the next day he broke up with me through a text messege while i was at work. You can imagine how hurt i was. I couldnt even work the rest of that day because i was soooo hurt and confused. You're probably thinking that hes just an immature 21 year old and yes that is true but i cant shake the horrible heart breaking feeling over this. He will not give me an explination of any sort. He wont talk to me at all.
That's not even the worst part. I found out a week later he has a new girlfriend who has a baby. He is posting facebook status' that say how much he cant stop thinking about his "wife" and "baby" and he is as happy as he has ever been in his life. I know now that i shouldnt have looked at his facebook, and after reading that i promised myself i will NEVER look at it again. Its unbelievably heart breaking to know that he left me to be with that girl who has baby. I felt i had no other choice but to get an abortion. I dont want to be a single mother at this age. I dont think i could do it alone. I am so confused because i dont know what i would have done for him to leave me like that. I dont understand why he would want me to keep our baby then throw me away like trash and then run off with that other girl. He's rubbing my nose in it with those facebook posts. The pain i feel with this is excruciating. While im here miserablely heart broken wondering what i had done wrong he is out there with his new girlfriend he calls his "wife" and hes being a father to her baby. Also that girl he is with changed her last name on facebook to his last name, as if they were married. It is absolutly rediculous because i almost feel like he is doing all of this on purpose to get at me, but i also think maybe is real between them and they really do want to be married after only knowing eachother one week. Well for all i know they could have been going out when me and him were together, but i try not to think of it that way. I do have to mention that he didnt help pay for the abortion after i asked him to. He completely ignored me. So i have talked with his mother about my situation. She is on my side with this which is somewhat comforting but doesnt change what happend...
I dont know what i should do to work past this. I cant stop thinking about it. I have had past relationships and i thought i've been heartbroken before but nothing like this. This is pain i have never felt before and its horrible. I want answers. Everyone says I am young and ill move on and forget about all this over time. I just keep waiting around because maybe he will give me a explination for all of this. I NEVER saw this coming. Me and im were happy together and we also seen eachother every day so what happend makes no sense to me at all. I can imagine he met her one day and then BAM desided to get "married" and be a happy family. It's confusing and i dont understand.

Anynomous

November 21, 2010 @ (great britain)

Tags: any advice...

Ihave dated someone for 9 months. He proposed me and even asked my family for permission to get married...
Then it wasnt going anywhere, I wanted to talk about the future, he didnt, was always too tired or any other excuses... Then things became very violent, from his side and mine. We both have bad temper, but we both got worse. I asked him to go and talk to someone, somewhere, so we could sort ourselves out. I do love him... but then he's got a depression, I think it's a lot worse than he wants to admit... and he promised me he was gonna stop smoking marihuana, which turns him into a different person (in a bad way) and makes him very angry and irritable and I think has to do with his depression too... so, he smoked again, inspite of the fact he's on anti-depresants and we argued because of that and his mood swings, his behaviour and all that...... he kicked me out the house, i cried my eyes out. I am in a foreign country with no friends or relatives, so you figure out the rest of the story. I am destroyed, confused, crushed, feeling guilty, lonely and cold. Thinking, I could have done better than getting angry... but then we've been together for 9 months and always argued about his smoking habit..... relations are problematic enough to be adding a drug addition weight on top of all... I even bought tickets to leave the country for Christmas with him.......he doesnt realise how much smoking his thing makes us argue and puts pressure on us....... then he thinks I am yelling because I am a bitch with no other reason but nagging; and I cant put up with the fact that it's always his house and he can kick me out of it when he feels like it; that i always gotta give in if I want things to go smooth, otherwise, we argue....
I wish I had never met him, so I wouldnt be in this position now. I'm 30 and feel terribly sad and lonely, with no friends, family or place to go. I can't talk to anyone, cuz I dont have friends in here really, so I am writing this here, so I can get it out of my chest... I love him so much but I dont even think he realises how much it takes for someone to have the courage to come after the one you love in a foreign land... next time, I'll be more selfish and think more about me...
I feel left alone, sad, disappointed, heartbroken!!!!!!!!!! I thought he was the 1 and I adore him. It just that I dont know what else to do!!!! It's like a battle I cant never win and if he doesnt want to help himself and us, then there's no point in me trying to get this right... but it hurts so much!!! I was gonna spend the rest of my life with him!!! I even thought I could jump out of a building and end this!!!! .... I am just so sad...
Any advice???

Ashley B-Brown

November 07, 2010 @ (atlanta)

Tags: tragedy

So there was this guy that I met at 15 when I moved to my new school. He was 16 and I remember when we first met, I felt electricity and I couldn't take my eyes off him...how cheesy is that? Ever since then we've never been able to completely be away from each other and for a while he was all I had. We've never been officially a couple due to a few problems. One, we fight like cats and dogs. In the beginning I held back and whenever he would say hurtful things I would try to avoid him but then he would just get mad and say that I was running away. That didn't last because eventually I got tired of taking his shit, and that's when the fights really started picking up. He lies, he tries to make things seem as if they're my fault, and frankly he is the biggest asshole I've ever met.

Here's where it gets even crazier we would stop talking for a month after the fights and then he would come back and we would start it up all over again. As we got older though, there were a few things that were brought to my attention. Any time I made a new friend at school, if he knew them, he would tell me not to be friends with them. Turns out, he has tried to sabotage 90% of the friendships I made, as if he was trying to keep me isolated. If I had even thought about dating another guy, he would get pissed but if he dated someone else then I'm bitter. I even remember on one of his drunken nights, he called me and told me that as much as he hated me, he wanted to be with me.

I knew that a lot of our pent up frustration was partially due to the fact that we didn't have sex. So, in the year that I turned 18 we had sex. It was pretty amazing and it actually helped. But of course, it didn't last..Skipping on threw, I went to college and he doesn't go to college so we stopped speaking b/c of another girl and when she broke up with him, he came to me. Btw that's what he does, whenever a girl hurts him, he finds me. So he started talking to me more, and he gained my trust again and when I went home for spring break we met on a car port surrounded by buildings, beautiful and romantic lol. And summer came around and we were having frustration fussing so we had sex. That's when everything became functional, until he got worried that I was pregnant. We don't use condoms and I'm not on the pill, DUMB. Thank god, I wasn't pregnant and so I went back to school. We kept in touch regularly until october and I hadn't heard from him until this morning. We had a small fight and he said that he misses me but I need to grow up and that we could talk when I learn how! Rude much, so I called him a dumb unnecessary bitch and blocked him. I'm not dumb, I go home in two weeks, so he's trying to fix his shit before i come home. So I know he'll contact me. that's pretty much why I blocked him so he'll have no choice but to text or call me. In the beginning this chaos was fun, but now that I'm older I just want stability. This was the first real fight we've had in a year so things have been getting better. But I just can't get passed that he hasn't even tried to talk to me for more than a month. I love him so much it hurts. I've loved him even before he took my virginity. He truly is the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. But people in hell want ice water. He can't let me go, and I can't let him go either. He has a few issues. He's had a pretty rough life, and I'm the only girl who has stayed and that scares him. Guys I've spoked to about this have told me, that I'm the one who could truly destroy him. He himself has told me that I have more power over him than I realize. Even when we have sex, it's not mindless fucking, it's quite emotional and he's the one that wants to be gentle with me while I want to get a little wild lol. He wanted me to stay in atlanta for school, and frankly I think that's what I should have done. There is another guy and there is another girl but unfortunately they're now part of a list of people that are for the purpose of taking our minds off of the other. They've been caught up in the tragedy of me and dylan. I just hope we learn to really love each other before we destroy each other.

Jeff

November 03, 2010 @ (Switzerland)

Tags: 2.5years

Me a 24 year old male her a 20 year old girl.

We met one spring day in a park, she asked my group of friends for a pape and things started then ( before you discard us a stoners read on) after about a month of meetings and lunches she made out with me one day before i left for the army. during my year of service my weekend leaves would full of passion, after 1 year of military service we started finally seeing each other much more regularly and shared a beautiful love story for 2 and a half years. during this time she evolved stopped smoking and started dressing really good. me..well i was just me, ill admit I gently started taking her for granted and that was my first mistake.
anyway i now feel betrayed as it is one of my most profound morals is loyalty and loyal i was to the bone,
she ends up making out with another guy and im sitting here broken. i feel back stabbed not only for the cheating issue but especially cus i was there for her to set her back up on her feet during her fuck ups, got her off smoking and into studying for her future, and when i need help to set my life in order she ran off. this is probably the only rational fuel i can use to tell myself she was not right for me, but i cant get her out of my head. its been 2 weeks now sicne the break up things are slowly getting better but still far from the end of the suffering.
A part of me wants her back and yet i know its not the right thing to do.

anyway, for all of you in the same situation iv found a little comfort in thinking about how much worse a break up must be in terms of a divorce where you lose your kids and stuff aswell. all in all its not so bad.

Alex

August 03, 2010 @ (Atlanta, GA)

Tags: Parent Interference

Sometimes when you try too hard, you end up destroying everything.

Early last month, I had traveled to Germany to visit my girlfriend that had just completed a semester studying abroad in China. Her family has a home in Germany, and I was invited to fly over and have my long-awaited reunion with her. While my heart was joyful to have her in my arms again, I was about to face unprecedented circumstances ultimately leading to our relationship's demise.

For the first four days in Germany, the food was completely not agreeing with my stomach, causing much discomfort. Instead of complaining about her mother's cooking, I tried my best to eat what I could and be respectful. If the ordeal ended there, it would have been no big deal. Then Sunday's emergency hit.

Her family and I traveled by bike to a neighboring village to watch a parade. Unknowingly, I experienced the most emasculating injury possible while in route. Thirty minutes into the parade, I started to experience pain in my "manhood area." After excusing myself from the group, I went into a local bar, ordered a drink and went to the bathroom to find an unprecedented swelling of one of my testicles. (Thank God for anonymity, because naturally this is a truly embarrassing moment.) After this discovery, I exited the bathroom, quickly consumed my drink and swiftly exited back to the street. I told my girlfriend I immediately needed to get to the hospital, and word started to spread among the family. Without any option for a taxi or ambulance, we were forced to ride by bicycle to the hospital. Upon arrival, I was laid out in an examination room with my girlfriend and her mother standing at the end of the table, with my full injury on display. This was necessary, as I do not speak German and needed translation. I was diagnosed with Testicular Torsion and required immediate surgery. The procedure was a success, and I departed the hospital the following day to return to the family's house.

Back in their house, I was laid out in pain, recovering from my procedure. During this time, the whole family was working on renovating the bottom floor of the house. I felt guilty that I could not assist in their efforts, and isolated myself in discomfort. After 4 days being distant in their home, I was able to get on a flight back to America to see my English-speaking Doctor. My girlfriend would stay behind with the intention of traveling back the following week. We were on the verge of having a normal relationship, once again, after being separated for 5 months.

Then I inadvertently screwed up with her parents. The day following my arrival back to America, I wrote her parents an email attempting to explain my bad behavior during my stay in Germany. I thanked them for their hospitality, and humbled myself to any criticism they may have possessed. This letter was taken as an attack, and I received a reply 3 days later criticizing me for being snide and lacking self-confidence. They trivialized my relationship with their daughter and made the determination that I was not good enough to be with her. Thirty minutes later, and just one week after my medical emergency, my girlfriend broke up with me over Skype.

Instead of traveling back to America, she has stayed in Germany for another two weeks. She has only listened to her parents about their limited view of my conduct. She will not talk to me and will not stand up for the love we genuinely found together.

She returns to America tomorrow, from my understanding. I'm not going to harass her, but I'm truly devastated to have lost her. Hopefully her friends will help her form her own opinion of things.

If you've read this far, thank you. I felt compelled to write the whole background as I'm so very confused by these circumstances. There is no take-away lesson from this experience, and that almost makes it harder to recover from and rationalize.

Bob

July 22, 2010 @ (bob)

Tags: help

i dating a girl after she was with a boy for a 1 and a half years and he broke up with her because she her best friend dirty things just joking around. and she was depressed for two months and 6 months later i met her and we talked for 4 months and dated for 2 and she broke up with me and said she couldnt do stuff with me because she still loved him and he hasnt talked to her for 6 months and she wants him back now and he wants her and ive been very depressed and when she told me i told her i hateed her and idk what to do

JoLeigh

July 20, 2010 @ (Tennessee)

Tags: JoLeigh

My Boyfriend and Me were together for 7 months when it all started. He found out his Uncle (which was like his dad) had cancer. I was ALWAYS there for him, and ALWAYS tried to make him feel better. I sat in the hospital with him a couple of times, to try to make him feel better. He starting acting different around me when all this happend, He was alot more mean & starting acting like he didnt care anymore. I kept telling him how he was hurting my feelings but the fighting continued. At the first of July everything starting going down hill. We fought everyday. I always trie telling him how i felt but he never listened to me. One night around the usual time he calls me He said he wasnt going to call because he was watching a movie. I just asked him If a movie was more important than me? and he said I get mad over the littest things. All I wanted was to talk to my boyfriend? The next night, I texted him and asked him if he was getting tired of me? And he said I dont know, I just need time. So that scared me and I called him. Well apparently he didnt have enough respect for me to go somewhere private so we could talk about this. Because all I could hear in the back ground was people talking & he was saying was Idk Idk Idk to every question I asked. That night I decided to ignore him for the rest of the night & the next few days, hopeing that would make him realize how much he had hurt my feelings. But that was a horrible mistake because all he did was get more pissed at me over it. I finally broke down and texted him a few days after this and all he texted back was," You know we are not dating anymore, Right?" That broke my heart. I called him and we talked for 1 hour & a half. He wanted to take a 2 week break from our relationship because he was so "stressed" & needed time to think. So I was like Okay maybe this will Help out relationship. We went 2 days without talking and i was miserable. I missed him so much. A couple of more days went by and I found out from some of our friends he had been "talking" to another girl. And he denyed it when I asked him. & even his sister said he liked her & they were talking. I told him I was done and I wanted all my stuff back from him. 2 weeks went by, and We havent talked. He has left picture comments on that girls pictures, and ive seen them. Lastnight I broke down and asked him,"Honestly do you miss me?" All he wrote back was, " Kinda, but no not really." I was crying so hard I had a panic attack. Now here I am, Alone. I try to talk to other boys but all they do is remind me of him. I cry everytime Im not with someone being occupied. I miss him ALOT, & knowing im not good enough for him to love me forver like he promised kills me every second. Im depressed & not happy anymore. Ive always been a happy person but I cant even smile anymore. Next monday we would have been together 9 months, I still feel like texting him and saying Happy 9 month Anniversary sweetheart, I love you with all my heart, but i know I cant. God makes everything happen for a reason but i dont feel that this is a blessing or to make things better. Maybe one day someone will bring back the smile on my face.

Ann

July 09, 2010 @ (Washington)

Tags: stalker, engaged

I met my ex through a woman that I worked with (Who, in retrospect, turned out to be as much of a nutcase as my ex). So my ex and I fall "in love" and after about a year of dating, we're engaged.

At this point my soon-to-be husband had been living in the dorms on the military base an hour a way from my home. He promises that he would make the commute a little easier and move closer- even just a little(He doesn't have a car so I'm doing all the driving). So the time comes for him to find a new apartment and I find out that he completely disregards his originally promise and moves about 25 minutes the other direction. Great. We get into a fight, he tells me it's over. I spend the night miserable. The next morning I call him and we work out our issues- he then proceeds to tell me that he got mad at me and "closed" our wedding account (That he hadn't contributed a penny to) and that he left the money at the bank. Of course I find out later that he actually spent it in one night on god knows what. Like an idiot I forgive him and we continue to date....
Nine months later I drive to his apartment (still an hour and 25 minutes away) with red velvet cupcakes and plans for a romantic evening. I help myself in, he's cleaning the bathroom. I give him a big hug... and right as were having this nice moment I see the words "I want my first child to be yours." as an incoming test message. Long story short- He had been cheating on me with this chick for a while. I left heartbroken. The next week I get a death threat from the girl he cheated on me with telling me to leave him alone. I write her off as being crazy but call my ex to talk to him about it. We're talking again anf of course he says he loves me. A couple days later he "loses" his phone and is calling me from a friend's phone to tell me how he wants to work our relationship out and that he needs me. A week later I get a call from his family telling me that he was getting a restraining order against me for stalking him (really long drive to stalk someone), that he changed his number because he was afraid for his safety and that I was crazy. Two weeks later and totally not stalking him- I'm posting lovely new pictures of me and my new love interest. It's a win-win, I found someone better and he'll never have to worry about me "stalking" him again.

Emma

July 01, 2010 @ (arizona)

Tags: example1

My boyfriend and I had been together 9 months. We'd known each other and been really in love for almost 2 years. I gave him absolutely all of me. We really were great together and always had fun and showed each other how much we were in love. He always told me how he wanted to marry me and how much he loved me. Everything was going great until one week he had phone issues. He never tried to contact me in any way. When he did get his phone back, he still didn't at least text me and say he'd call me later or anything. So after going from speaking everyday or just getting an "i love you" text from him, which was always enough for me and made me feel so amazing, he went to zero communication. Who wouldn't "freak out"? I tried contacting him and got nothing. Anyway, I went to see what was going on and he told me he wanted a break and started naming off all these silly previous fights that he had already apologized for and I had forgiven and moved on. He said how I ask too much of him, which he lives 2 hours away, and he had always been able to find time to call me or just text me each day, and if a day or two went by, I was okay with that because I do know how busy he really is. Anyway, after saying all that I had finally agreed to a break. I asked if he wanted to break up and he said no, just a break for a few weeks because he didn't have time for this.
A month has gone by and I had tried to contact him out of desperation for answers the first two weeks. I have not tried to contact him for the past 2 weeks and I will not. I sent him a pour my heart out, this is what really happened with all the silly fights, and do you really love me if you're throwing away what we had...and still heard no word.
It's the most painful thing in the world to go from "i love you I want to marry you baby" to not acknowledging my existence. We are both 21, so yes I know we're young, but he had been so genuine and he doesn't sugar coat anything, so I know if he didn't love me, he would have just said so...
I've been suffering from panic attacks my whole life, but had not had an issue with them again until all of this happened. It feels as if my world crashed down. I live alone, I'm in a new state where all I have is a job so this makes things even more difficult. I do have hobbies, but cannot pursue riding horses at this time because I live in an apartment and can't afford to board a horse in town.
I wake up every morning thinking about every good and horrible thing we've gone through. After what he's done to me, I hate him, but I love him at the same time. My heart races, my stomach turns, I feel nauseous all day long and cannot eat like I used to.
I tried not making him my whole life, but I guess I felt what we had was so real, I never had to worry about him not being there. This all makes me sound pathetic, I know it does and I hate feeling this weak.
How can you love someone so much one day, and want nothing to do with them the next? And no, nothing changed. He changed. I know there isn't anotherr girl because his roommate wants to date me and I'm sure to get me to date him, he would tell me if there was another girl.
So now what? How can I get over this? I've bought books about breakups that have helped me on the whole outlook of this about how if we were so perfect, this wouldn't have happened.
But still...
anyone have any words of advice or encouragement? Anything would help. Sorry this was so long.