Searching for "she"

607 Results For 'she'

Michelle

June 03, 2012 @ (Provo, Utah)

Tags: Breakup, Friendship, Gay Best Friend

This isn't abnormal breakup story. This is a friendship breakup story. But I was in love and it hurts like hell.

About a year ago I started the job I'm currently at and I met someone there that I instantly knew was an amazing person and someone I was meant to be friends with. Well we did become friends, best friends in fact. Now would be a good time to mention he's gay. Anyways for the last 9 months he was a big if not the biggest part of my life. We did almost everything together. We would text all day every day. We didn't go more then a few days without seeing each other and most of my plans included him or were made around him. He soon became my everything. I didn't care he was engaged. He gave me the love and attention I so desperately craved. And I slowly started to fall in love with how he treated me and then I fell in love with him. But I tried hard to keep my feelings in check. And we had boundaries that helped with that.

Well at the end of February we went to visit our friend at college about 3 hours away. He is also gay. Well late that night things got weird. There was a 3 way kiss. And then there was cuddling, touching, scissoring, and just crazy awkward stuff. But I also enjoyed it because I loved my one friend and I wanted him to be in love with me. But there was a part of me that felt like I was included to prevent me from getting jealous and crazy. I also knew our relationship would never be the same because so many boundaries had been crossed.

Then 2 weeks later that same friend from college came to visit. And I decided I needed a break because I felt to attached to both of them. I also felt like my best friend had feelings for our mutual friend. But he assured me that he didn't. They both talked me out of taking a break and we decided to have a big party with alcohol at my bffs apartment. I knew this was not a good idea and bad things were going to happen but I secretly hoped that with enough alcohol in both of us something might happen. Well everyone got drunk. We ended up making out. But he made out with everyone. It was like a mini orgy. I was physically and emotionally sick. It couldn't be undone and my feelings were stronger but I also knew he didn't feel the same.

The next morning I found out he had lied to me and he actually had feelings for our friend. And that our friend had pretended to have feelings back. When I confronted him he to me said he was embarrassed and thought I'd freak out. His feelings for him confused him. And then he said my feelings for you sometimes confuse me. Something I believed and actually gave me a spark of hope.

From the time of the party on nothing was really the same. We fought often. I couldn't forgive him for lying to me. And my feelings for him were stronger then ever. Being around him gave me such happiness but also brought me agony. I was in love but he was never going to be in love with me. But I couldn't accept his love and friendship. I just wanted more. I pushed and pushed. I expected way too much. I told him every chance I got about my feelings for him. I to him those feelings brought me pain. I was suicidal. I was mean. I was angry. I did all of this to push him away and prove that he would walk away. Even though he said he never would.

About 3 weeks ago we got in a huge fight and I guess he had, had enough. He said even if i was a boy or if he was straight he wouldn't be in love with me. That all the nice things he told me around the time i found out he lied about our friend were actually more lies. That most of what he did day to day was out of guilt and to keep me alive. He told me he couldn't handle me and all that went along with me. He was done.

I was crushed and devastated! He was my whole world. My best friend and the guy I was in love with. It was like the one person I trusted the most ripped out my heart and shredded it. The pain was/is unbearable.

Now that said I realize that our relationship was unhealthy and things needed to change. I knew maybe a break was needed to. But I never expected him to walk away. I would NEVER walk away form him or any of my friends.

So like I said this is a different break up story but a break up story nonetheless.

Linda

June 01, 2012 @ (Canada)

Tags: break up cheating car crash

It's been a year since he left and I don't know if I'll ever get over him...
We met during college and didn't start dating till we graduated
We dated for 2 years and although we had our ups and downs, I loved being with him every second of the day
But during one time in our relationship, he cheated on me with my best friend
I found out that he was cheating on me and broke up with him straight away, although I didn't know who the girl was at the time
He kept begging me to take him back but I kept refusing until I realised that I actually missed him a lot
So, I went back with him again
A few weeks later, I found out that the girl he was cheating on with me was my BEST FRIEND
After finding out, I was so hurt and decided to break it off with him once and for all, I wanted nothing to do with him anymore, nor my best friend aswell...
So, I lost two important people at the same time
A year or so later, I bumped into him again and we started talking and eventually just became friends
Although, I kept contemplating on whether or not I should forgive him, because I knew that deep down inside he knew what he had done was wrong, and wanted me back because he still loved me, but he wanted me to be happy so he never asked for reconciliation
But truth is, was that deep down inside my heart, I still loved him, but I was scared of getting hurt again
One night while laying in bed, his parents called me to notify me that he suddenly got into a car crash
I rushed to the hospital and prayed so hard that he was going to be okay, because I wanted to tell him that I already forgave him and was ready start fresh with him, but it was too late...
It's been one year since he's gone and till this day, i still regret not forgiving him earlier, I still regret not taking him back, I feel as though I didn't let him leave this world peacefully...

Jack

May 27, 2012 @ (Texas)

Tags: 1

I really dont know what to do,

I had been dating this girl for about a year. We met in college and began dating rather quickly after we got past the friend stage. She was my first true girlfriend and long term relationship and I fell rather hard and rather quick. We argued like any normal couple did but it was always very petty. We argued basically because we loved each other so much. The girl was never a slut in any form and had only ever had sex with boyfriends of past ( i know this for a fact). she even held her self to this standard and seemed to be quite proud of it. She always spoke about wanting a good guy in her life because her previous ex had abused her and cheated on her. he used to text her a lot and she would always argue back but she showed me everything and i was never worried about her going back to him in any way. she was a very honest person and would never lie to me and our relationship was great. I did everything a good boyfriend should do i was 100% faithful, i did random things to get her affection, and would do all kinds of unasked favors just because i loved her. however she had one major flaw. She hated more then anything when she was wrong, to the point where she would become upset with me because she had wronged me. It was obvious who treated who better and even though she was so irrational sometimes i couldnt help but still love her and thing she will change. she told me she would change and i even tried to break up with her because of her actions but she begged me back. well a couple months ago she randomly broke up with me because we argued too much. after the breakup we continued to talk and after a few days we started talking about wanting to get back together. She said she wanted to take babysteps but contantly told me she loved me and when i asked if the breakup was for someone else she would tell me of course not and that she still loved me like i said. well one day i went out of town and before i left we went to eat. she told me she loved me kissed me and wanted to get back together. well even afterwards she was texting me saying she missed me and wanted to see me. I found out that weekend she had been just kind of texting around and wanting to go to some functions with fraternities a month in advance so i ended things with her on good and mutual terms that sunday.however right after this final ending i noticed a hugechange. before we broke up she always talked how shed always be there and still love me. Well for the next 5 weeks she went completely cold hearted. i didnt talk to her really except on rare occasion when i had a question about class. she would freak out and just be a total bitch. I couldnt figure it out why and i would ask her why do you hate me why cant we separate personal from school and what did i do to deserve all this. she would always overreact and say how she didnt hate me but she would continue to be a bitch. i found out about that 5th week that she had started having sex with another guy who was basically completely random. I was under the impression it happened after the final ending but i came to realize that it actually happened that same friday she was talking about getting back with me. I was devastated because this was so out of character for her and it made even less sense that she was being so bitchy all along when she had wronged me. help me understand why she is acting like this. we have since ended all forms of communication she blocked my number etc because like i said she cant stand being wrong and couldnt take the heat of me calling her out. i even went as far as to ask her why she would do that after telling me all those things and she responded in a way that showed pride in her actions. I cant understand why this girl who was supposed to have a great moral fiber would do this. is it because she truly loves me and hates herself for what she did and its just a defense mechanism? she still has yet to apologize for her actions and she had sex with him 3 months ago ad weve been broken up that long. she even goes to the links to kiss him in front of me in bars to try and prove a point.

Amy

May 25, 2012 @ (Alabama)

Tags: Cheating

A few months ago slept with this guy names Shacory. The only reason that I know him is because of his girlfriend: one of my best friends. I knew it was wrong but he just took advantage of me. I wanted to tell my friend about it but I was afraid of what she would do. Or what he might do to me if he found out I told her. That was 4 months ago. It's different now. I want to tell her now more than ever because I'm pregnant. And boyfriend is the father. I'm only 15. What should I do?

Cc

May 23, 2012 @ (NA)

Tags: Break up

I dont know what to do. Here's my story.

I was friends with him for a year and a half before we got together. Even as friends, I knew he likes to manipulate people's feelings so that they do what he wants. He manipulated me into feeling guilty many times before and I knew he wasn't the man I was looking for. But my best friend got together with a guy I had a crush on and I was never going to get. He was recovering from his recent breakup with someone he had a long history with. So I started to go out with him.

It was my first real relationship (I'm 22). When I told my friends and family about him after a month, most of them told me they didn't like him. Some of my friends knew him from school, and warned me about being with him. I did break up with him because of that, but I also felt bad and ran back to beg for forgiveness the next day. It should've ended right there. But I was lonely and I don't like feeling I've been unfair to him.

Then for the next year and a half, we broke up numerous times and got back together the same number of times. There was never a time we were officially broken up for more than 10 days. A year ago, I told my friends and family after a break up that we were done and I never updated them that we got back together again. It was just too much drama and stupidity on my part. After most of the break ups, either of us would just begs the other for forgiveness and another chance. Because there were just too many times that had happened, I actually made a promise to myself that I won't say it again unless I meant it.

For the last two months, I feel that he's been neglecting me and mostly just spending all his time with the people at his business. I knew he really wanted make it a success, so I had gotten involved with his business too, but not helping him as much as he liked. But I was at the office ten hours a week or more until April when I had to concentrate on my exams. A few weeks ago, I realized that I'm nowhere near the top of his priorities, and he won't call or text me during the day because he's "too busy at work".

The catalyst for the break up was he promised to take me to see a movie, but he pushed it back time and time again, and I, being very considerate, allowed it. But that last time, I told him to set a firm date and time, but he just told me not to bother him about it, he's tired, etc. I broke up with him through text after I hung up. That was two weeks ago. I felt sad every day since then, I cry on and off all day and night and sometimes feel that my life is meaningless. But some days i feel fine.

I care deeply for him. We met up last week, and I pretended that I was normal and told him that we can be friends. Last night, I texted him whether I can drop by his place at night (he lives a 5min walk away) and talk. He told me not to. I guess he was right, cuz I just wanted to see him and see how he's doing. Like he isn't a bad person and I learned to be a better person because of him. I just feel that he didn't treat me right, especially in the last months. Maybe he just doesn't love me as much. But I had grown to care for him and think of him everyday during our 1.5yrs together. I think of him constantly and I get teary and cry all the time now.

I want to tell him why I broke up with him and ask why he agreed (we never had a conversation about this). I want to see how he's doing. I want to tell him that of he just changed how he treats me I would stay with him. I think all this time, I've just been wishing that he would change for me since I knew that him as himself is not who I want (am I confusing you? Lol). He doesn't contact me now unless its about his business or unless I texted him first. What should I do?

Anonymous

May 20, 2012 @ (FL)

Tags: die, dying, abortion

I dated a girl name Alyssa for 2 years and about 5 months. We moved to attend grad school in a new city so I spent every hour of fall 2010 either studying or with her, so I had no friends nearby. We had had some rocky times because I did study abroad and was entering law school, but basically she didn't trust me and I didn't communicate how much I loved her. It was fine to break up over that, but the way she did it was unacceptable.

One night she kept talking about her friend Karen, but it was really really suspicious how nervous she was and for some reason 2 girls drinking a whole bottle of whiskey in a night seemed like a stretch. So I look at her facebook page from that night "Great night with KC and AC" KC was Karen, AC I quickly figured out was Anthony something. I confront her and she breaks up with me. We exchange our things about 5 days later and she tells me she has already gone on 2 dates with him. We talk one more time and she tells me not to call unless there is an emergency.

About 2 days later I destroy my knee playing soccer. Tear all 4 main ligaments, other smaller ligaments and tendon, smash nerves, etc. My knee stayed out of the socket. A major risk of this is that you can cut off the circulation and/or sever the vein in your leg which can cause you to die or have your leg amputated. Surgeon comes in and tells me I have about a 40% chance of dying within the next 48 hours. So I call Alyssa because I could be dying, I think that qualifies as an emergency. Goes to voicemail. I text her asking just to talk over the phone since I know no one at school since I spent all my free time with her first semester. No response text at first then she said "I won't talk to you. Have your mom call me tomorrow when she gets in from her emergency flight." So I was left in the hospital to die alone by her.

It gets better... A couple of weeks later I am just at rock bottom. On pain medicine (I didn't walk for about 2 or 3 months the injury was so bad). I called her angry and she told me that she was pregnant. The guy she ran off on from me Anthony whatever had knocked her up. So she aborted it.

When someone is potentially dying in the hospital and has no one there and they request you to call just for an hour to talk it takes a pretty selfish person to refuse. I think most people would (and for that matter should) drive to the hospital to keep someone company until their family arrives.

Long story short, it takes a pretty selfish immature cold hearted person to leave someone in the hospital to die and then to abort their kid.

VM

May 16, 2012 @ (Earth)

Tags: sighs

So me and this girl had dated for about 7 months. The first 5 months was perfect, we were in the honeymoon stage and it was full of love. About 2 months ago, she has this personal problem that she couldnt tell me but I can see a big shift in the relationship. She told me that this personal problem has caused an effect in our relationship and there wasnt anything I she and I can do about it. Things went down hill from here because shes become more snappy. We got into this one petty fight and I walked away because it wasnt necessary. She then later on said something that really got to me, she said that I have no urge to fight and that makes her lose interests and she think she can walk all over me. Maybe its the age difference, im 29 and shes 22 but I dont like fighting over small things especially I already accepted the fact that she is high temper issue. But after this incident, I started having dilemmas with my actions, always questioning whether I'm being too nice or maybe I should be mean. This causes big time withdrawal and I feel like I can't be myself around her most of the time. Since Valentine, we stopped having sex because she has this health issue (i know it wasnt an excuse cuz she has many doctor visits). And then comes the personal problems, she stopped making time for me but rather stay busy with work, school and her friends. A kiss becomes a peck on the lips, holding hands become very vague. The only thing I feel like we truly still had was we still called each other sweet names and quick kisses here and there. I tried to understand and deal with it because I respect her space/time to deal with personal problems. It wasnt easy but I had friends to talk to and helped me through it. About a week ago, we took off on a cruise and the entire time I had to play the "careless attitude" game and to her, I came off as blunt and rude. So be it but I didnt have any more rooms to suppress my feelings about the situation. Then on the way home from the cruise, my ex started venting about her relationship to me (note that she does talked to her ex and whenever my ex contacted me before I always let her know and she said she doesnt care, we have that trust) so I was in a venting mode and vented back. After a few texts, I realized this is wrong because my ex started to tell me if this girl doesnt treat you right then leave her. That doesnt help me, I felt like my ex was trashing on my relationship so I stopped and deleted the thread. My current girlfriend saw that i was texting the ex and later checked my phone but only saw the last part of the message (which said my bf stopped talking to me and walked out of the room, she was venting). To her, this is a dishonest act that I deleted the message, she thinks I have something to hide and she said she lost complete trust in me. I understand where she comes from but I really was deleting the message out of my own guilt and not hiding anything but she doesnt believe me. She said that she has major trust issue and to others this may not be a big deal but to her its a huge deal. I asked her how she felt about us, she said that she doesnt think I can ever cheat on her and that Im the best guy shes ever dated (she dated many guys before but they were all the assholes type so I spent most of my time to show her that good guy does existed and always go out of my way to make her happy) but she cannot trust me after what happened even if she forgives me and broke up the relationship. Ive asked all my friends and they said it was a harsh decision but I need opinions from someone that doesn't know me so please help. I also know that what I did was wrong and I wrote her an apology letter to own all the faults I created but it didnt seem to affect her decision. I just feel very shattered because I spent the past few months to build this relationship and it is now broken over an honest mistake, and accident that I didnt think what i was doing was being dishonest.

Vanillatwilight

May 14, 2012 @ (somewhere on earth)

Tags: breakup, jerk, cheated

So me and my first bf (now ex bf) had a long distance relationship that lasted over 2 months. We'd see each other once a week to play volleyball together and occasionally meet up for movie and mall dates. He was the sweetest guy ever and i'd give up sleep just to talk to him. He was also quite busy since he went to private school. I was devasted when we broke up but i agreed to it because i could feel that he didnt feel the same way about me anymore. After our breakup, i came upon a youtube video one day of him singing a love song dedicated to this other girl (the video was posted when we were dating). Later on, i found out that he had been cheating with me through our entire relationship with a girl that he met on a cruise and who lived half way around the world. I was furious and disappointed at him. I also found out that the reason he broke up with his other ex was because she found out he cheated on her (with the same girl he cheated on me with.) I kept that to myself for a while and then confronted him a few day ago. He simply said congrats on finding out, he did consider making a video for me at one point but singing to her was their thing and playing volleyball with me was our thing. It has been over 3 months since we broke up but he has hurt me so badly that im still having trouble recovering from it. I don't even know what to do with anymore. I can't talk to him anymore cuz i know that he won't tell me any truth and i dont want to talk to such jerks, but at the sametime a part deep down inside of me still have feelings for him. :S

Nicole

May 13, 2012 @ (MyHeart)

Tags: BOYFRIEND, GIRLFRIEND, STUPID, LOVE, SWEET, SAD, BEAUTIFUL, FOREVER, NEVER, HIM, HER, TOGETHER, HEART, SAD, HAPPY, CUTE, LOVE, HONEST, LIES, GUYS, GIRLS, HE, SHE, PRETTY, NEVER. NOW, CUTE. LOSER, JERK

Dear Forever, <3
You don't exist, never will you, never have you, only in the mind of someone blinded by love. Love isn't forever, If you have it you should know you are one luck person. 1 out of 1000 people find true love, I am not one of them sadly. Do I wish to be, yes I do indeed. Is it relevant you ask? Yes, completely honestly faithfully truly relevant from day one. You may say I had a typical relationship, did I think it was typical? Nope, I thought it was completely something irrelevant from that. I though he was different, you may say a lot of girls say that, but I believed it, dreamed it, thought it, loved it, carried it, and anything under the sun, blue moon, and starts, and the heaven above.. I loved him with all my heart. I'd do anything for him, yet all I could do was nothing. I started dating his cousin who I fell completely head over heels with. We only saw each other at school to be honest.. but I thought it was more than a fun, school romance. I thought I wanted him forever. Though he cheated on a girl 8 times to be exact, but more after that. I hated the girl, he cheated on me to be with her. He told us it was because we were alike, whoa there we didn't think that. I hated her, she hated me, I had the boobs, and butt, she had nothing. I was thick, she was... skinny, so skinny she has nothing. I had the cutest everything compared to him, but at the end she had him... and I was left with nothing from him but good memories from before. Did anything from before matter anymore? No. Did the fact I was better than her in body, to everything else? No. Because she had him, I wanted him, I wanted to be her, live her life, be where she is. She and I became friends, and talked all the time. We soon learned we were exactly alike nothing different. She and I, been through the same thing, going through the same thing, like the same things, almost exactly the same person. Except the fact we lived different lives, as in our on bodys. Even though we were almost completely the same person, I was still jealous of her for the longest. Because she had him? Nope, not this time. Because I thought she was better, prettier, which she was prettier. we may have almost been completely a like, but our appearance and body kept us separated. I was me, she was herself. Later, I got over him. I realized I deserve better, I need better, I want better, and better is what I will get. If she wanted to spend her life with him and get less than what she could have, need, or want, she can nobody will stop her not at all. Not me, her parents, herself, anyone. Not even him. As long as he could break her heart he was completely fine. Was she, yes because she loved him no matter what, kinda like I was. Later, I fell for someone else, that someone was him cousin. He was the same age as him, same grade, but different everything else. We never met, but we started talking June 3rd, We talked and talked, till we decided we liked each other. We had talk a lot before then, he was obsessed with the fact that he was in love with me, which if you promise not to tell, I loved that(;. I thought he wasn't. Till 06.12.11 the day we got together, we dated than 2 months later, we met. He had never kissed a girl, nor had a long relationship. I saw him that day, I was so nerves, so I paced back and forth at the mall.. I thought he'd see me and be like she's prettier on facebook... and things like I'm worthless. But of course as always he was such a sweet little cutie. <3 It was the best day. As time proceeded we didn't hang out til July 3rd Thunder Fest of course. As always it was the cutest thing. We dated til 5.5.12 Which was like a week and 2 days ago, 9 days to be exact. So, we dated for 11 months, almost. His birthday was May 11th. Of course on that day he was probably like, "It's my birthday I'll get high if I want to, can't deny that I want you, but I'll lie if I have to." - Drake lyrics. But of course he actually didn't want me. I've been thinking of him and I can't stop. It's my longest relationship, and I didn't want it to end. What do you thinks he's doing? Flirting with a new girl? Probably with a new girl? Hanging with a new girl? Doing better without me? Do you even think he thinks about me? Well, I wouldn't know. Want to know why? Because he wont talk to me. Everyday breaks my heart. I get by, by pretending no matter what day, hour, second, weather, or place he's thinking about me. He's dying inside, and I'm living under sunshine, and he's living in the dark shadowy days of breaking my heart. Sometimes I hope that whoever he is messing with now, as in flirting with.. they break his heart, but now I just hope that he's happy until "It's a beautiful day, and something reminds you, you wish you would have stayed." - Taylor Swift lyrics. And now that is the time I found out that forever only exist with a few people.
Love,
Nicole, <3

Bob David

May 03, 2012 @ (san diego)

Tags: Acceptance

We met when I was 21 and she was just turning 18, a little over 5 years ago. There was instant attraction and our relationship advanced quickly. I knew deep down that neither of us were mature enough to be in a long term committed relationship, but we stuck together anyways. There were a lot of good times, fun memories, amazing sex and we were always there for eachother through the ups and downs. About two years into the relationship there were multiple infadelities-- she started sleeping with one of my good friends behind my back and I had slept around with more than 1 girl. Despite this huge blow to our trust and relationship, we stuck together after we came clean with each other on what we had done. In hindsight I know that we stuck together because we were attached and had some form of needyness with each other. I feel weak to admit that, but I honestly just felt attached and couldn't let her go despite the fact that we had both hurt each other severely and that we deserved better. I knew in my heart at the time that I should have let her go, but my impulsive needyness forced me to hold on to a relationship that had become toxic. Since then we tried to rebuild the foundation of trust in our relationship, but we were fighting an uphill battle and there was just too much insecurity and distrust towards eachother. A year and a half ago we moved in together, which was a big mistake. Things were ok on the surface, but deep down we both felt disconnected and unhappy with the relationship. Along the way we became very short tempered and irritated with eachother. She would yell and call me names, I would yell back and say hurtful things-- stuff you just don't do when you say that you love someone. I knew in my heart for a long time it was not right and that I needed to let go, but I just didn't have the courage to part company with her. I feel ashamed for having held on to something that I knew was not right for me. We broke up about 5 weeks ago after she did not come home one night. She told me she went out to party with her friends and stayed with a female co-worker, but my intuition told me otherwise. We both agreed that we were not right together and both needed to stand on our own two feet. We were together for 5 and a half years and although I know that it was not the right relationship for me I still feel a deep sense of loss an emotional pain. Despite having hurt eachother I had considered her my best friend-- we did everything together and wanted desperately to make things work. I have been trying so hard for the last 5 weeks to look at the reality of the relationship, but my mind keeps wanting to tell me that we could have made it work or that I should have been a better man. The fact is I was immature and acted with the level of maturity and awareness that I had at the time-- I think it's fair to say that she did too. I keep beating myself up over what I could have done differently and all the what if's, but it has only held me back from letting go and moving on. I am trying so hard to accept that it's over, but still find myself hoping for reconciliation in the future-- hope that is eating me up inside. I know that we both deserve better and that it cannot work. I am not one to share my personal story on an online forum such as this, but I started reading a book the other day that suggested I post about the breakup on this website. It has been helpful typing this story up and putting things into perspective. I think it's important that I look at my past relationship logically rather than feed off of my emotions. Anyways, I know my story probably sounds crazy or like I am a bad guy for having cheated, but I would appreciate any feedback. I am now 26 and have come to so many realizations in reflecting on the relationship. I really want to better myself and become the best man that I can be not only for myself, but so that I can have a healthy, loving relationship in the future. Most importantly I want to love myself so I never put myself in a toxic relationship again where I think that I don't deserve better. Anyways, stay strong to everyone that is going through similar heart break or emotional pain. Everyone keeps telling me it will pass-- I just hope that it does sooner than later!