Searching for "cia"

182 Results For 'cia'

Myfault

September 04, 2015 @ (Coachella Valley)

Tags: dumped

I met this girl through a weekly meeting that talked about mental illness. I saw her beautiful, delicate pale skin compliment her dark hair. She was with another guy who I thought was her boyfriend. I was instantly enticed by her looks. Her silence was soft and spoke with such force that it shook me off my feet. I felt nervous and she did not even flinch to look at me while I talked. Damn I did not have a car at the time so I had to take the bus home. I missed my stop all because I was fantasizing about me being with her. Then as I looked back at my stop I came to the realization that I would probably never get a chance to even hangout with her. I fell hard just by her looks and it was not that she was a ten it was just her. Yeah, she is beautiful but her face oh her face just captured me like the moon captures the moth. weeks passed and I did not see her because she was busy with college. luckily I befriended her friend who was actually just childhood friends. I liked him alot and thanks to knowing him I got a chance at getting closer to this girl. who's name I did not know until he told me. By pure luck I got a chance to finally be alone with her and as I spoke I began to see that she looked at me differently. As she spoke i only fell deeper and deeper into her sweet eyes. we stayed up all night in th back of her car and i thought that maye I did have a chance. And I did. we fell in love but it woudnt last. She would break up with me for trivial reasons. later on I figured out she was insecure. New years eve we had a huge fight,I fel unappreciated and I finally put an end to it. She came back that same night which wass surprising because it was always me who had to but I was not. She said she would change because she actually loved me and she had never felt that way. Change she did some how she became even more perfect but I messed it up. still hurt from the past I treated her bad and I began to think I no longer needed her. I was a bad boyfriend for 6 months and she finally left. She no longer cared for me. And it is true that you only miss them once you let them go. I realized my mistakes and I tried for three months I was exasperated and exhausted but I kept trying. She was hurt. She did not trust me. I know I messed up and she has every right to leave. I would give her all the time in the world and I would still be here waiting for her. this was the first week of fall semester in college. it fees so different. today was the day I finally let go and I am so hurt I cant go to sleep Im crying and I dont know why. I hve been through some messed up shit in my life but even that did not cause me to cry. I cry because she is truly amazing and actually wanted me but I broke her. I have one last plan. I am finally going to give her space. I will work on myself and do my best to try and get a date with her. Sadly she is moving to either New york or san fransico in a year. I may never have another chance, sadly she said she would stay here with me until I finished with college. She is the type of girl to get over guys quick. she told me she would be over me in a week. Sadly I would be with her right now if in those 6 months I would tell her to leave me alone I Instead apologized and told her how much she meant to me.

Ana

June 12, 2015 @ (Philippines)

Tags: break up, ex bf, advice

Pls help me. I have broken up with my boyfriend last month. We were in a relationship for 2 yrs and 1 mo. We had a bad break up and I said some horrible things to him. After a week, I said sorry to him and realized that I want him back. But he said he just wanted to explore other people and that I should just give him time and space, even just for two months. He asked me not to go anywhere and that he'll miss me.

The whole month after our break up I pleaded/begged/asked him to get back to our relationship. A week has passed after our break up, he is now in a relationship and he chose the 'new girl' over me. I asked him why he has done this to me, he said I already broke up with him. And now they are facebook official and posted a lot of pictures of them together. He hides these pictures from me on his facebook, but I can see them using my friend's account. Why does he do that? I already know that he has a girlfriend, then why hide the pictures from me? He does not text me anymore and completely ignores me.

I just started the 'No Contact Rule' this month. I have not contacted him for almost 2 weeks now. But he texted me on the 1st day of NC that he wants his money back. I ignored him because I was hurt. He shows no concern for me anymore and just asks for his money. So, I was angry. Should I reply now? or should I wait for the 30 days to reply and give his money?

And this weekend, they went out of town for a vacation already. They haven't even been together for a month! They went to this place where we planned to go together and exactly on our monthsary date. Is she just a rebound?

Ever since we broke up, I posted happy pictures of me hanging out with some friends and exploring life by mountain trekking and swimming. I think I am doing a good job pretending to be happy. But to be honest, I am totally hurt and don't know if I want him back. I miss him and our good old times but his attitude now makes him so immature.

Can you please explain what is going on? I've been making excuses for his actions that he is just hurt over the break up, just like me, which is why he moved on so fast and doing these things. Has he totally moved on? How can I fix this?

Carly-Ann

May 26, 2015 @ (Pennsylvania, Philadelphia)

Tags: break up

When I was 13 I met a boy in my eighth grade social studies class...let's call him Jason. Jason and I became good friends pretty quickly, and by the start of high school we were dating.

Fast forward to junior year, and things got a little rocky. He started becoming moody and irritable, yelling at me for the most insignificant reasons, like missing one text he had sent while I was at soccer practice. I cried every day, but I still stayed with him. In November of senior year, he played in a football game against our rival school (which we lost). I knew he would be pissed, so I tried to console him. Big mistake. He turned on me, calling me a stupid b**** and how he hated me and that I was nothing but a loser. I started crying a little and yelled at him that if he hated me so much, then he can just leave, thank you very much. He shoved me (not hard, but enough to make me stumble a little) and told me that we were over. Well, that was it. I ran home from school (I didn't even care that his teammates were staring at me) and started crying my eyes out. He texted me a few minutes later saying how sorry he was and asked if we could get back together. I said yes, and for the next couple weeks everything was fine.

Well, stupid is as stupid does. In December of senior year, I heard him talking to his friend about how much of a slut I am and how he wishes he could just break up with me without me making a big scene. I didn't even have the guts to stand up to him. I just ran to the bathroom and started to cry. We have not spoken a word to each other since then.

Rob

May 06, 2015 @ (Bay Area California)

Tags: Confused, wealth

I found a woman I wanted to marry I proposed. Everything was good, I was doing well in my career and got a promotion and I was excited to start a family and I recently purchased a nice condo.

I had immense self esteem issues throughout the engagement and dating. I had it ingrained in my mind that you need financial worth to be loved. I used pervious relationships as proof that I needed to be wealthy in order to be loved. I constantly assumed the relationship wouldn't work out and I would be abandoned for lack of wealth or cheated on. I walked around assuming people thought it was the "first" relationship I had due to my technology career.

It got to a point where I assumed I was being used for money (never knew exactly if it was true). She wanted me to buy a bigger home and fork out a lot for a wedding. It might of been her dream to have those things, but I didn't take it that way. It's like I subconsciously waited for an excuse to end the relationship. Instead of trying to work through it, I abandoned the relationship and out of the blue gave up on it. I was loved by her and her family and probably hurt everyone. It was the most rude, insecure, selfish thing I could of possibly did. I just gave up on a future, family, and love because of my insecurities and lack of maturity.

It was a Saturday and I called her and told her she didn't love me and that she loved money and to forget everything. It was the last time I ever spoke to her. Now that I look back on it, I am ashamed. I assumed she didn't love me and told her this, she refused and said she did. I told her to meet someone else that was financially wealthy enough and said to her that she would not see my ugly face again.

It's true you need to love yourself before you love another person as cliche as it sounds. Like if you don't value yourself, how do you expect someone else will. And the other "don't care what others think" is true. You can't go through life basing a relationship on what an outside force will think or assume.

If I could go back I would of handled myself very different and waited until I had my self esteem and confidence intact which I still lack.

John

April 21, 2015 @ (Ohio)

Tags: Rough

*Hi! So I'm labeling myself as John and the gf as Tonya (neither of these are the real names btw) and keep in mind it's not very interesting as we are only 13 year old adolescents but I digress.*
So, Tonya and I have been following each other on social media for a while only admitting to close friends our attraction for the other. We have never talked irl since we had no classes together. My school was holding a social eventXD on Oct. 31st and we both happened to go. We talked and had a great time and we didn't even know about the other liking the other yet. We started texting etc. and finally, on Nov. 8th, we started dating. The next few months of my life were the best even if there was a lot of arguing. It never was serious so we just didn't mind.(none of this happened irl, only whilst texting which is why I loved always being near her) Anyways, in March, we argued like Hell for a few days and here's how it went down. We just randomly started being awkward around each other then we started to fight, yatatatatata, and she was about to break up with me but I convinced her not to but the next day I asked her if she loved me then we started fighting again so I told her to not talk to me until tomorrow(Which is when I would be breaking up with her) but I only asked her that because we started fighting the day before because she said she didn't love me like she did a month ago. She treated it like it was a stupid question so yeah. That night, all I did was cry, I didn't sleep. I cried. The next day we broke up and i started crying while I broke up and we hugged then we stopped texting for a while. It still hits home every time I think about it cuz she went for at least a month just dating me because she felt like she had to.
Recently, I've been trying to get on her good side because in a week or so, we have a dance coming up and I want to try again.
My attempts at getting on her good side are horrible and keep getting worse so, wish me luck

Layla

April 19, 2015 @ (LA)

Tags: Bad break up

So, I had this boyfriend in high school. He met me through social media and he went to my school but I've never seen him around. He messaged me and he was messaging a bunch of other girls that he was also interested in. But when we were texting, he didn't reply for a week. And I had an awful gut feeling about him, idk why. But I was a fool for not listening to it. Anyways, after that week, he finally messaged me and he continued for a while. Then he asked me out on a date. Boy was I excited. My first date. We went to the movies and he bought my ticket already. It was sweet. Then after a month he asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and things were well. The problem was, he lied to me about everything. Which caused me to always be sad. He would still follow girls that he used to have feelings for. I politely asked a bunch of times and gave him hints it bothered me. And he knew it. I mean, I appreciated all the dates and flowers. We were together for 7 months. I gave him me. He gave me him. We were in love. But little did I know, he wasn't. It was hard dating someone who would stare at girls for 15 minutes when you would go on dates. I wished he looked at me the way he looked at them. And of course I wasn't perfect, but I did EVERYTHING for him. All I wanted was to make him smile. At the end of the relationship, he followed back 7 girls and I was furious. I was at practice and saw and I just almost clasped. I knew things were going down hill. Then the day of the break up he comes to my house and he claims to be a gentleman he honked at me to come outside. Then he brings me to a park and writes a list of things that he thought was wrong with me. Example on the list "playing games" I asked for 1 thing, stop following girls he used to like and stop lying to me. I knew he was lying about everything. And 1 girl I knew he really liked. Which was hard. So anyways, he told me I was immature and I'm always sad. I'm always sad because my boyfriend wants other girls. But truthfully it wasn't worth it to fight about it. So I just said he was right. And he asked me to prom then he just ripped it away from me. First he said "I want you to still think if you wanna go to prom with me" then to " I need time to think" then to "I can't do this anymore" he is a compulsive liar. And seeing him follow girls and not respecting my wishes hurt. Because I cared more than anything for this guy. I just wanted to make him smile. I would leave little treats in his locker and write him notes. But I was too nice, and he was really cocky. Like one time he told me "appreantly the whole cheerleading team likes me" and he just was rude. The way he ended the relationship was not what a true gentleman would do. Which he claims to be. I don't care how many flowers you get me, if you lie and constantly want other girls, and don't respect my wishes. You shouldn't be here. Then, 2 days after we broke up, he was already talking to a girl. Seeing prom pics was hard but I'm getting over the whole situation and I'm a better person because of it. Karma is a bitch, and it will hit him. Because I wasn't the prettiest or the smartest, but I swear I loved him more than any girl would ever. So ya, just know loves things get better.â¤ï¸ðŸ˜Š

Ryan

April 16, 2015 @ (United States)

Tags: Bad Breakup

Exactly a year ago I met someone special, the moment I set my eyes on her I knew she was something of one of a kind, I was a typical high school student and she was as well. It took me a month before I worked the courage to speak to her and my gut was right, she was the most beautiful person I have ever met. She was weird and quirky and funny and stupidly silly. The school year ended and thats when it started to get serious. We spent our summer together and did many things, she taught me how to swim(because I never trusted anyone around water due to my hydrophobia) and we went on vacation together(her parents payed for my trip lol) It was honestly one of the happiest times of my life. We barely fought and if we did we made up each time like it was nothing and moved on with our days. I grew blinded by my affection soon after, I loved this girl and I was terrified to admit it. Soon after the next school year started, I could feel the distance happening. Which caused me to become jealous, scared, etc I was panicking and didn't know what to do. I could see it coming and it did. She broke up with me, telling me she didn't want a relationship right now blah blah blah. I crashed and burned, I was so devastated that I just wanted to hurt myself(of course I didn't) she then led me on for a few months, would kiss me, try and comfort me when I was down, she even came over to my house and slept with me, but in the end she would always use that excuse and it pushed me even further down... causing me to push her even further away without realizing it... Ever sense then I've just been realizing what I did wrong and been bettering myself, dating new people most guys would say my life has been pretty great for some of the girls that are chasing me.. but all I can continue to think about is her. The one that got away. That all I can do is pray because I knew her reason of leaving me was complete crap, especially since she's with someone else now. I just wish her the best while I sit and wish I had the best. She's still deep in my heart and I see people hating on their ex and everything, but even though she did me wrong I can't help but wish she has the best for her. I just know that if I was with her now, things would have been much different and she'd still be mine, but that's my new found confidence that I will hope to be able to use with someone of the same or better amount to offer... I've learned a lot and even though I still am upset about her, maybe we're better off. Or maybe it was the bad timing, I'm now 18 and i'm still young. Life ahead of me is something to shine about.

AZ

April 11, 2015 @ (United States)

Tags: first Love, First break up, second chance, back together

My story might be a little different, but still the same feelings, the same pain. I am a guy and i fell in love with another guy this was my first relationship with a guy. We met in March of 2014 everything was great from day one. We met at a parking lot at the willowbrook mall in Houston, TX. We were great together, we wouldn't go 24hrs without texting each other. He told me from the begining he was scared of getting hurt and wanted to take everything slow, he said he had moved too fast before and only ended up getting hurt. He didnt want to make the same mistake this time. We never became an official couple, but we were officially dating. He told me what he was feeling was getting stronger and it was freaking him and he didnt want to lose me. We went on a few road trips, Marfa, TX Austin, San Antonio it was great. We used to see each other a few times per week almost a year later we started seeing each other less and less, he put this big distance between us i didnt know why and it was killing me. In October I decided to ask him to take it to the next step, he straight out said no, he didnt want to get hurt or move to fast. I told him i would wait for him. We kept hanging out, things were ok I was already in love, but i was also scared. so in March i finally decided to put the fear aside and tell him i fell in love with him and that i love him so at least he knew how i feel, i didnt want to pressure him. When i told him he probably freaked out, he was more quite than usual. I started feeling sad, i didnt want to lose him. I told him to tell me if he wasnt interested anymore or didnt want to continue dating. He said he was just figuring out himself. On March 18th saw him again and it was the last time i saw him, i texted him he didnt reply at that moment i thought he was ignoring me, avoiding me, he texted me back he said he wasnt. I felt he didnt want to talk to me or hang out anymore it was killing me i didnt know if i did anything wrong, he told me there was not a thing wrong with me that it was all him and he wasnt ready. i told him i had faith we will end up together i had hope he would shop up at my door and tell me he wanted to give it a chance. He said maybe someday, he wasnt ready yet, but he wasnt going to disappear or quit talking to me. That was his last text. He completely ignored me, I didnt know why, i didnt know what happened or what i did wrong. I still havent gotten a text from him. I did everything i could to be together. This is the first time I was in a relationship with a guy, I never thought i could love someone, i never thought i could love a guy this much. I accepted all these feelings, I was ready to tell my family if i had to. Its almost two weeks since he ignored me, his silence is killing me, he didnt give me the gift of closure. I dont know what hurts more to feel that i lost him, to have accepted all these emotions or to be ignored and i dont know why or what happened or if i didnt anything wrong. This is the first time i feel this, the first time i suffer for someone. This is the first time i love someone and it was a guy. And the worse thing is that i still have hope that he will show up at my door, i hope he is just figuring out himself to finally be ready and start something with me. He will be ready someday, he will give someone a chance, i wish that someone was me, i wish it was me the one to make him happy. I love him, he will always be my white guy, the one who brought light into my life.

Lisa

April 09, 2015 @ (east coast)

Tags: breakup, scared

I thought everything was going fine in our relationship. However, I knew deep down there was an uphill battle because of our circumstances. We were both working full time, going to school and have other activities. However, I had faith in love and our relationship. He did not- he had stopped communicating with me about where he was at. We were supposed to go to several activities on Saturday that he really wanted to do and I as well. I was making a conscious effort be more social with him. He showed up at my house and I immediately knew something was wrong. Even though the night before was fine and 2 nights before he had invited me to go with him to a family event. When he walked through my door he told me he couldn't do it any longer. That there was a block within him and he had been struggling with it for some time. Also, that he didn't want to do a long distance relationship and he would be moving in a few months across the country. I was pretty shocked and cold to him. I was able to kindly express my disbelief and disappointment, but I wished I could have been warmer. I asked him to take his things and to throw mine out. The next day I sent him an email letting him know I was going to give him money for part of the tv he had bought me and sent him a nice note saying goodbye. He had a pretty cold response- which shows really just where he's at. I'm 36 years old and scared of being alone the rest of my life. My faith in real love is wavering and I never thought that would happen to me. Thank you for everyone sharing their stories.

Vincent

April 08, 2015 @ (Croatia)

Tags: Bad breakup, Cruel, Depressive

About 2 years ago I met a girl that at the time I thought was the cutest and funniest girl I have ever met. We met through my brother because he knew her sister really well. She came down to my town for college and we really hooked up at the beginning, and I actually thought she could be the one. We had great time together, we played video games, watched movies, went out, all the classic things. And, I must be honest, I lost my virginity to her, and that first time for me was amasing, she really showed a lot of affection towards me and at the time I was quite a loner and she was practically my first real girlfriend. I did everything for her, just as she did everything she could for me.
The backstory of it all is that I suffer from depression and at the time I took antidepressives at a weekly basis because I was a wreck most of the time. With her I finally felt special,I felt needed and loved, the thing I most desired at the time. While I was with her I stopped taking antidepressives because I didnt need them when I was around her, but I never told her about my condition for I didnt want her to worry about it. After about a year and a half she stopped returning most of my phone calls, she stopped caring about me and she even despised the fact that I loved her. She would say things like, I never show emotions to other people, I am not a girl for long relationships and so on, even though she was the first one to say that she loves me.
One day I went to two funerals that were out of town, one was my cousins and the other a really good friend. I came home feeling really sad and I called her hoping she could make it better. She answered the phone, we talked a bit but she sounded all a bit too distant, I got mad at the fact that she cant give me any support in this, and after a brief fight over the phone, she said we should end it. At the time I actually supported the idea, because I felt no emotions that night, I was an empty shell, but when I laid down in bed I just broke, I cried myself to sleep.
I eventually took all the things I had at her place, and I moved on, the good thing that came out of it is that I dont take medication any more, I broke all contact with her because I felt that is was the change I needed at the time. Anyways, I feel better now, it all happened about a month ago, and it all seems so distant right now, all I can say for the end, Im happy for the good memories.