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March 25, 2016 @ (Anywhere)

Tags: #surviving


I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I never was interested in dating until 9 months ago. I am 20 years old and I am young, but I fell in love. To me he was perfect until one day he wasn't. He told me I wasn't attractive enough for him, that I was stupid, a whore, worthless, etc. None of which is true. My friends were confused what I saw in him, and I will not try to sound conceited, but I knew I was much better looking. He made his own insecurities mine, to hide how he really felt. I was so depressed, I lost almost 15 bs. I was never big. I was 5'6" and went from 122 lbs to 106 lbs in three months. It was unhealthy. The first time we broke up I was devastated. I didn't eat or sleep, my anxiety was so bad it overtook my life. I was so desperate to make things right that I drove him further away. There was a point where I couldn't leave my bed and my roommates were genuinely concerned about me. A month later we got back together. It was beautiful. I was so happy and he said he loved me all the time. However 2 months later, it crashed again. I am OKAY. I am here to tell you it gets better. We broke up two days ago, I cried yesterday, but that's okay. I feel liberated. I realized that yes, we love each other, but we both are too immature to be together at this point. Sometimes when a relationship ends, you need to take a step back and really look at it. He holds grudges, he mentally abused me, he never made sacrifices for me, which made me resent him. I realized that sometimes love isn't enough. Sometimes you realize that no matter how desperate you are to make things work, they just don't. I know it's hard to accept, heck I am struggling too. If it is meant to be it will be. Maybe it's just not the right time, but I can tell you that once you hit rock bottom you can go nowhere else, but up. I was at rock bottom, I lived and someone I am okay. I haven't bombarded him with texts begging him to take me back or whine how it isn't fair. I simply said I wouldn't contact him unless he contacted me and he hasn't. I will not reach out again. My best advice to anyone going through what I survived, as much as it sucks and as much as you want to reach out and be with them, cut them off. Take a real look at your relationship. Do you want to go back to it? Is it worth it? If it is, than fight for it and if it works, that's amazing, if it doesn't at least you'll know you gave everything you had. I can promise you it isn't easy, but it does get better.


       

Nate

August 03, 2015 @ (europe)

Tags: Bad break up


Once upon a time I was dating a girl for a few months, I was in love with her and was really enjoying it. We had our ups and down , on the last month though we were doing pretty well. until the summer break came , so we were going to spend about a month apart, in our hometowns. A few days after she left she started to show some kind of unconcern about me, and phone calls reduced. the duration of phone calls also reduced. I understood that things were going bad, even I was complained some times to her .But I believed that it was just the distance, or that I was overreacting and overthinking it. I was very sad, angry and unsecure at that time but I tried not to show it, most of the times, not to make things worse and I just waited to get back together to see what is actually going on. But the last few days before we return to the city we were studying, she started to talk to me really cold on the phone without any obvious reason. So I decided not to talk to her again and see how far this apathy and unconcern goes. So one day we closed the phone, and didn't call her again. Neither did she. She detached and then she got lost, just like that... So I decided after a few days to call her, as I knew she had already arived, and I asked her to meet and talked,she agreed but she said she was very busy with going out with friends and she told me me that she wasn't sure about when we are going to meet. This was very offensive, I felt very bad that it was so hard for her to find 20 minutes to discuss with me the problem..just because she was going out a lot with friends. I was sure then that we were breaking up, So the next day I just sent her a text and I said her that we were breaking up, with the hope that if it was important for her to be together, she would try a just a bit. But she replied and said that she also wanted to break up. My heart teared apart at that time. Something that once was good, ended with a 2-lines text and a goodbye. I am very sad about it, some day I will feel better I suppose, but today is not that day.

I talk to people about it and most of them act like it's nothing, and respond to me with stuff like you will find another one etc. At first I was feeling but about being so hurt, but a loss like this causes pain , and it feels better now that I accepted that pain is just normal in cases like this and eventually it will pass, but not today.


       

Caroline

July 04, 2015 @ (indonesia)

Tags: bad breakup


my boyfriend broke up with me 2 days ago, 11 days before my birthday. we had a 10 months of long distance relationship and had not seen each other for 5 months. he planned to come visit me on my birthday but now it's very unlikely. truthfully speaking, i was in an emotionally abusive relationship where my boyfriend would yell at me all the time, i thought that i should be more patient dealing with him because he is actually a really nice person and he is just having a lot of work stress. his priorities had been clear since day 1, his work is his number 1. i love him very much and i tried hard to work on our issues but he just didnt care much about me or our relationship. after the break up i asked him why he fight for his work like no end but he easily gave up on someone he loves? he simply said because i disturbed his work. he blamed me for the breakup, saying i should have been more patient, just 2 more weeks and we can be together etc etc. and when i told him i tried hard he said it was because i tried too hard he became uncomfortable. i just dont understand his way of thinking and while i am very sad and devastated right now, i am glad i got out of the relationship. i guess i just got myself an early birthday present from him, a break up over the phone 11 days before my birthday :')


       

Jen

May 30, 2015 @ (US)

Tags: Bad break up Sad Break up


Moving to a new school, I didn't know anyone except for a few people. At first I was being bullied for being different, (And for being the new kid). Fast forward. It was the last class of the day and I saw a guy. Let's call him.. Kevin. Well, I thought he was cute and so for a few weeks we started chatting online. Then he finally asked me out. I was so happy, but everyone told me that he was a liar, a cheater, etc. I didn't listen (Because 'liking someone a lot' makes people stupid)
We had a lot of things in common. We had never-ending conversations, I thought we were the perfect couple.
Just then, the 2nd week we were dating, he tells me the news that his mom found out about our relationship.
He told me that his mom was forcing him to break up with me.
I cried... for what seemed like days, even had mental breakdowns in class..
Then I just think,
"Why didn't he fight for me? We could still be together when we're at school. Please don't tell me this is real."
FAST FORWARD even more...
I found out that he lied, he lied about everything. And I finally realized, he was a lying cheating motherfluffer.
Few days later, he dates my friend.
Broke up with her.
Dates my other friend.
We don't talk, to this day.
( He still attempted to flirt with me after we broke up BTW )
Kevin is lame. -.-


       

Seth

May 22, 2015 @ (ontario)

Tags: bad breakup, Horrible person, worst girlfriend


I had been seeing this girl for a year and she refused to keep her legs closed. no matter what I tried, I trusted her like crazy, and she continued to abuse that, first was when we were several months in she went to go hang out with a friend, when I wanted to say hi she told me off and said that the guy still thought they were together and wanted toa void a scene, still trusting her, because that is how I thought relationships worked I let her have her way. she claimed the next day that she cheated on me with him, merely saying in a weak tone "well... I didn't want too..." when I got upset she went aroundt elling everybody who would listen that I was pissed at her for being raped. having been raped myself at a young age thi would never be the case. now my trust in her is shot because I know the rape thing is a straight out lie. I started keeping an eye on her facebook and skype to spot more evidence of cheating. and she hated this and defended herself by saying her sleeping with another guy is none of my business, despite my taking her in from what she claimed was an abusive family and dating her. she cheated on me a second time with another guy and after several days of thinking I forgave her once more. several months passed (to about the year mark) and she cheats on me again with the guy that 'raped' her. this time I have had it, I told her to pack up her stuff and leave. to which she did everything she could think of to stay, blocking the guy and showing me messeges about how she is refusing sex to him now and the like, so against my better judgement I let her stay, not a week later and she cheated on me again, I have had it at this point and kicked her out on the spot. that day she tried everytrick to get me to let her stay, from appealing tot he fact I cared about her to saying I couldn't make her go back to her 'abusive' family and every other manipulative thing you can think of. When that failed she flipped the switch and started bitching about everything, making me to be the bad guy to everyone who would listen, Saying it was my fault she gained weight because I put her on a certain diet (untrue) and that I expected her to be a servant and such. in reality she got to stay with me rent free I made sure she was fed everytime I went groceries (once a month) I would ask her if there was anything she wanted and I even got her a cat that she begged me for, spending several hundred in the process. I wasn't able to hang out with friends without her getting pissed and if I tried to see a female friend she would think I was cheating. but anyways, she is packing up her things she raided my kitchen, took everything she could fit into her bag and then took all of my dishes and every piece of cutlery she could find. leaving me with 2 plates and a bowl. when I confronted her about this alls he had to say was "oh they were mine" when I told her I couldn't eat now cause I had nothing to eat with she says "oh I left a fork for you under the couch" she even refused to give me back the key to my apartment, when her mom FINALLY stepped in to make her she decided to throw it onto the lawn as opposed to hand it to my outstretched hand. 2 months later and I haven't spoken to her since.


       

John

April 21, 2015 @ (Ohio)

Tags: Rough


*Hi! So I'm labeling myself as John and the gf as Tonya (neither of these are the real names btw) and keep in mind it's not very interesting as we are only 13 year old adolescents but I digress.*
So, Tonya and I have been following each other on social media for a while only admitting to close friends our attraction for the other. We have never talked irl since we had no classes together. My school was holding a social eventXD on Oct. 31st and we both happened to go. We talked and had a great time and we didn't even know about the other liking the other yet. We started texting etc. and finally, on Nov. 8th, we started dating. The next few months of my life were the best even if there was a lot of arguing. It never was serious so we just didn't mind.(none of this happened irl, only whilst texting which is why I loved always being near her) Anyways, in March, we argued like Hell for a few days and here's how it went down. We just randomly started being awkward around each other then we started to fight, yatatatatata, and she was about to break up with me but I convinced her not to but the next day I asked her if she loved me then we started fighting again so I told her to not talk to me until tomorrow(Which is when I would be breaking up with her) but I only asked her that because we started fighting the day before because she said she didn't love me like she did a month ago. She treated it like it was a stupid question so yeah. That night, all I did was cry, I didn't sleep. I cried. The next day we broke up and i started crying while I broke up and we hugged then we stopped texting for a while. It still hits home every time I think about it cuz she went for at least a month just dating me because she felt like she had to.
Recently, I've been trying to get on her good side because in a week or so, we have a dance coming up and I want to try again.
My attempts at getting on her good side are horrible and keep getting worse so, wish me luck


       

Ryan

April 16, 2015 @ (United States)

Tags: Bad Breakup


Exactly a year ago I met someone special, the moment I set my eyes on her I knew she was something of one of a kind, I was a typical high school student and she was as well. It took me a month before I worked the courage to speak to her and my gut was right, she was the most beautiful person I have ever met. She was weird and quirky and funny and stupidly silly. The school year ended and thats when it started to get serious. We spent our summer together and did many things, she taught me how to swim(because I never trusted anyone around water due to my hydrophobia) and we went on vacation together(her parents payed for my trip lol) It was honestly one of the happiest times of my life. We barely fought and if we did we made up each time like it was nothing and moved on with our days. I grew blinded by my affection soon after, I loved this girl and I was terrified to admit it. Soon after the next school year started, I could feel the distance happening. Which caused me to become jealous, scared, etc I was panicking and didn't know what to do. I could see it coming and it did. She broke up with me, telling me she didn't want a relationship right now blah blah blah. I crashed and burned, I was so devastated that I just wanted to hurt myself(of course I didn't) she then led me on for a few months, would kiss me, try and comfort me when I was down, she even came over to my house and slept with me, but in the end she would always use that excuse and it pushed me even further down... causing me to push her even further away without realizing it... Ever sense then I've just been realizing what I did wrong and been bettering myself, dating new people most guys would say my life has been pretty great for some of the girls that are chasing me.. but all I can continue to think about is her. The one that got away. That all I can do is pray because I knew her reason of leaving me was complete crap, especially since she's with someone else now. I just wish her the best while I sit and wish I had the best. She's still deep in my heart and I see people hating on their ex and everything, but even though she did me wrong I can't help but wish she has the best for her. I just know that if I was with her now, things would have been much different and she'd still be mine, but that's my new found confidence that I will hope to be able to use with someone of the same or better amount to offer... I've learned a lot and even though I still am upset about her, maybe we're better off. Or maybe it was the bad timing, I'm now 18 and i'm still young. Life ahead of me is something to shine about.


       

Bubby

April 10, 2015 @ (vijayawada)

Tags: Love, break-up, back together.


Most people who have broken up with their partners, have tried to get back together. Whether from fear, whether from frustration of meeting someone new, I cannot say.
I have broken up with women and after some time - a week, a month - we have tried again. It’s funny how we always tell ourselves: "I will not do it again." We promise a lot of things, but there always comes a time that the old problems, in most cases unresolved or misunderstood, emerge again.
A person comes in the life of another in order to learn from one another. The breakups happen in order to teach the partners something. If "the beloved ones" do not pay attention to this life lesson, they will surely make exactly the same mistakes in the next relationships. The most common problem, I think, is that people wear a mask. You liked the external first and then looked inside the shell. Fallen in love. But to keep the attention of your loved one you’ve been doing things that in some cases, they did not like. You wear a mask, just to prove yourself you are good enough for them.
So the two lovers begin to live life together in a lie.
From my experience I would say that in a relationship, including my own, one of the partners loves the other one more. One always feels ignored by the other. You are going restaurants, theaters, film screenings, etc.., which you do not want to, but you do just to please your partner. It happens so that there comes a point where you forget who you are. You no longer go out with your friends, stay away from things that you’ve previously enjoyed and activities which made you say things like: "No one can make me stop playing on Saturdays..!"
But why does it happen so? Most likely you've been so in love with the person next to you that you were ready to do everything for him.
So you’ve got that person in your life. You’ve achieved your target by wearing the fake mask. Now what? Time passes and you start to thing you’ve made some wrong decisions. Now your friends do not call. You are deadlock. And you wonder how it came to here.
Even your mates can feel that things are wrong. You argue and quarrel very often but both don’t have the courage to admit what the real problem is. Namely, both have forgotten who you are. In order not to quarrel for "trifles", you put aside your interests to try make your relationship better. Now, you both stay at home, doing some nasty things, monotonous, you do not feel but only satisfy your needs.
And there comes a point where you say: "I cannot go on like this!”. You split with mixed feelings, without even thinking. No longer want to see the other person and you say that true love is there only in the movies. You close yourself to others.
But a month passes and you begin to feel the need to satisfy "needs." You start meeting with different people. You say to yourself, "Life is life!" Clubs, bars, restaurants, cool promiscuity. You feel the euphoria and cannot stop. The effect wears off quickly...
You meet new girl in the college or in the streets. She is the personification of everything you dreamed of. And fall in love… And history repeats itself...!
MY ADVICE..!
Stop thinking so much! Be yourself! As much as you like a person, above all love yourself! No, do not be selfish, but do not forget yourself. If a person does not feel happy inside, he cannot be really happy. If people could be paused in their hectic life for a moment and asked what they really love to do, to follow and achieve their childhood dreams, the world would be a wonderful place. Be the Change...!!!


       

Aaron

February 09, 2015 @ (Conneticut)

Tags: bad break up


I'm a girl, i was dating a girl for months. Then we split up alot, she cheated,lied. Etc. And i still thought she was worth it. One day, she came over and said she had to leave early to go to the doctors. But before that she has been talking talking to a diffrent girl and fliting. I asked her about it. she didnt wanna talk about it. And left. That day we broke up "all my fault" and i cried for days and days when she was flirting with my bestfriend. Turns out the girl i asked about likes me. Sorry. I still love her though.


       

Sarah

February 01, 2015 @ (Delhi )

Tags: Dumbme


About a year ago I became friends with this guy through Facebook. He seemed really sweet and genuine. Then we started talking everyday. He made it clear from the beginning that he didn't want to get into a relationship with anyone because of his past. He was cheated by his girlfriend and that changed him. So we were just friends and one day we casually flirted and decided to be fwb. The worst thing is i fell in love with him. It was one sided. He didnt love me back. We used to text often before and he was the bestest friend that i didnt have before. We texted everyday for hours. Then suddenly one day he stops texting, as in i texted him and he chose to ignore me. He ignores me for about 2 weeks and then again texts me as though nothing happened, and asks if we could meet. I cant get over him because he truly is one in a million. The way he talks etc..he keeps ignoring me now and then..I dont have the courage to ask him why he does that. And now again im being ignored. Im depressed and dumb. But i dont have the strenght to ignore him or stop talking to him. And now he isnt speaking to me. Now i feel like shit.