Pls help me. I have broken up with my boyfriend last month. We were in a relationship for 2 yrs and 1 mo. We had a bad break up and I said some horrible things to him. After a week, I said sorry to him and realized that I want him back. But he said he just wanted to explore other people and that I should just give him time and space, even just for two months. He asked me not to go anywhere and that he'll miss me.
The whole month after our break up I pleaded/begged/asked him to get back to our relationship. A week has passed after our break up, he is now in a relationship and he chose the 'new girl' over me. I asked him why he has done this to me, he said I already broke up with him. And now they are facebook official and posted a lot of pictures of them together. He hides these pictures from me on his facebook, but I can see them using my friend's account. Why does he do that? I already know that he has a girlfriend, then why hide the pictures from me? He does not text me anymore and completely ignores me.
I just started the 'No Contact Rule' this month. I have not contacted him for almost 2 weeks now. But he texted me on the 1st day of NC that he wants his money back. I ignored him because I was hurt. He shows no concern for me anymore and just asks for his money. So, I was angry. Should I reply now? or should I wait for the 30 days to reply and give his money?
And this weekend, they went out of town for a vacation already. They haven't even been together for a month! They went to this place where we planned to go together and exactly on our monthsary date. Is she just a rebound?
Ever since we broke up, I posted happy pictures of me hanging out with some friends and exploring life by mountain trekking and swimming. I think I am doing a good job pretending to be happy. But to be honest, I am totally hurt and don't know if I want him back. I miss him and our good old times but his attitude now makes him so immature.
Can you please explain what is going on? I've been making excuses for his actions that he is just hurt over the break up, just like me, which is why he moved on so fast and doing these things. Has he totally moved on? How can I fix this?
I found a woman I wanted to marry I proposed. Everything was good, I was doing well in my career and got a promotion and I was excited to start a family and I recently purchased a nice condo.
I had immense self esteem issues throughout the engagement and dating. I had it ingrained in my mind that you need financial worth to be loved. I used pervious relationships as proof that I needed to be wealthy in order to be loved. I constantly assumed the relationship wouldn't work out and I would be abandoned for lack of wealth or cheated on. I walked around assuming people thought it was the "first" relationship I had due to my technology career.
It got to a point where I assumed I was being used for money (never knew exactly if it was true). She wanted me to buy a bigger home and fork out a lot for a wedding. It might of been her dream to have those things, but I didn't take it that way. It's like I subconsciously waited for an excuse to end the relationship. Instead of trying to work through it, I abandoned the relationship and out of the blue gave up on it. I was loved by her and her family and probably hurt everyone. It was the most rude, insecure, selfish thing I could of possibly did. I just gave up on a future, family, and love because of my insecurities and lack of maturity.
It was a Saturday and I called her and told her she didn't love me and that she loved money and to forget everything. It was the last time I ever spoke to her. Now that I look back on it, I am ashamed. I assumed she didn't love me and told her this, she refused and said she did. I told her to meet someone else that was financially wealthy enough and said to her that she would not see my ugly face again.
It's true you need to love yourself before you love another person as cliche as it sounds. Like if you don't value yourself, how do you expect someone else will. And the other "don't care what others think" is true. You can't go through life basing a relationship on what an outside force will think or assume.
If I could go back I would of handled myself very different and waited until I had my self esteem and confidence intact which I still lack.
I thought everything was going fine in our relationship. However, I knew deep down there was an uphill battle because of our circumstances. We were both working full time, going to school and have other activities. However, I had faith in love and our relationship. He did not- he had stopped communicating with me about where he was at. We were supposed to go to several activities on Saturday that he really wanted to do and I as well. I was making a conscious effort be more social with him. He showed up at my house and I immediately knew something was wrong. Even though the night before was fine and 2 nights before he had invited me to go with him to a family event. When he walked through my door he told me he couldn't do it any longer. That there was a block within him and he had been struggling with it for some time. Also, that he didn't want to do a long distance relationship and he would be moving in a few months across the country. I was pretty shocked and cold to him. I was able to kindly express my disbelief and disappointment, but I wished I could have been warmer. I asked him to take his things and to throw mine out. The next day I sent him an email letting him know I was going to give him money for part of the tv he had bought me and sent him a nice note saying goodbye. He had a pretty cold response- which shows really just where he's at. I'm 36 years old and scared of being alone the rest of my life. My faith in real love is wavering and I never thought that would happen to me. Thank you for everyone sharing their stories.
Tags: breakup woes, break up
My ex and I met at WeChat. I'm 10 years older than him and he had a daughter from a previous relationship. I'm generally generous (money, time, resources) with boyfriends and he was not an excemption. The relatinship was ok at first but during the last month of our 6 moths relationship, his behavior became erratic. I was hospitalized for 5 days for gastro and he was just contented to call and check on me. Citing his duty in the military prevents him so. Then when I had to go home to the province, he suddenly had this urge to go to his province eventhough this was affected by a super storm. I had sensed that he took someone with him there.First day of the month he didn't call or text. This made me worry since he never in our 6 months together forget to call or text me. I had to calling his friend. When he did finally receive my call, he didn't speak and and I was just left hanging. I told his friend that probably we are breaking up. He called after my call to his friends, asking for a "cool off" to think things over. He loves me but he also loves her daughter. Since for his daughter, he also needs to love the mother (his ex). So I gave him time. He called after 5 days and it was a cold , short call asking how am I. After 3 days, it was my time to call him and asked if he wants more time. He was grumpy, saying he's sick. Being the ever attentive gf, I asked him if he has medicine and, if he is eating the right food and if he's in Manila already. Being grumpy, he said something like I don't need to take care of him and cut off the line. Thinking it was a bad reception, I called and he kept cutting it. I called his friend and my ex answered, yelling that I am stubborn and dont call him anymore. A few minutes, he texted he can't come back, he's sorry, i shouldn't think about him and he can take care of himself.
until now, i kept wondering: " why didn't he just say he doesnt love and need me anymore instead of using his daughter as alibi?"
Tags: love, loss, bad break up, cheating, relationship
I have yet to go wrong on a “gut feeling†when it comes to a disaster with a significant other. I somehow can sense the bomb going off but never in time to defuse it. The most recent example was by a lovely lady I was seeing for several months. She and I did not land on solid ground due to the conditions of our start. We shared many laughs, cries, and plenty about each other during that time. I was hesitant at first about her feelings at first, not knowing if they were true or just brought up by the circumstances of her previous relationship. We shared a wild, strong sexual appetite during the first half of our relationship. Facing personal dilemmas and financial difficulties; she pursued a second job in which she could balance herself with. She quickly got an offer to work a gentlemen’s club as a coat checker. I saw the potential for disaster, keeping in mind her personality, state of mind, and lack of experience with the world. I feared that I might lose her in the process to some money throwing pig. Yet I needed to keep my personal fears in check and support who I regarded as my babe with anything she set her mind to. If this one thing could break us, than all my suspicions would be true; if they don’t than we could move forward, take the leap into going public with our relationship.
Several weeks later we began to drift apart, we would ignore mutual calls and text. We did not see each other for days at a time. I began to worry about us, and so I began to call her more often, asking how she was and brought up ideas on trips we could take. It had little to no affect, as her eyes and perhaps even her heart were set on someone else whom she met at the gentlemen’s club. One evening we got into an argument; and just like that, she asked me never to speak to her again; without any hesitation on my part, I hung up. The next day I told her we needed to talk; it was important that we clear the air. No response ever came that day, or the next day, or the day after. I tried once more and she quickly delivers the blow “I need time†which we all know to be “break-up modeâ€. I tried and tried again to see her so we could talk, all while sensing the inevitable blow that was soon to come. I would go to her apartment late at night, and she and her truck wouldn’t be there. I knew that I had lost her at this point; or maybe just 99%. I took a chance and went to her one last time; even after she told me not to. I gave her everything that she ever wanted, with a promise to be there always. She wasn’t giving in, she could not see being with me being better than the guy that she met recently. I knew that my words were barely chipping away at her wall. She was cold all throughout this and yet at the end she hugged me and showed me signs of remorse or sympathy. Before she walked back in I asked her, if in this last moment, we could turn things around and try to work this out with a clean slate. Her lips said no, but in her eyes, I saw a glimmer of yes. Despite what I felt, she gave me the closure I had asked her for. I wished her the best, and reminded her that I would always have her in my heart. Got in my car, and I had the most difficult drive of my life.
Tags: Heartbroken
I've been with this guy name Nicholas for 1 1/2 years. We met in middle school, I didn't really notice him or liked him. It all started our sophomore year of high school. I didn't even know he went to my school but anyways we end up having my favorite subject together. He was just a friend to me, nothing more, nothing less. One day my teacher sat us together and we was watching a movie. I felt this weird feeling towards him that I never felt before. I wanted to hold his hand and touch him. To me he was unattractive. Maybe because I was trying to get back with my ex at the moment and still had feelings for. We both played basketball btw. One day after my basketball game my ex told me he didn't wanna talk to me no more ect. So I decided to call Nicholas because I was lonely and wanted to talk to someone to not think about my ex. I called him and he was at a basketball game watching another school play. He went outside just to talk to me. I started flirting with him without knowing it.
The next morning I went to school and I couldn't believe wat I've did last night. I didn't like him nor wanna talk to him.
It felt so wired in that class and I usually spoke a lot in that class and now I started not to.
2 months passed by and he wanted to go out with me but I would always tell him I'm not ready to date or I'm still hung up on my ex but he still waited for me to be ready.
We talked for 2 months before making it official. He asked me out on January 8 .
I always been bad lucked with guys so this one I was scared to give my all. I wasn't really into it like he was but after a couple months I grew to love him. He was my everything, my best friend, just my world and I was his. Not a day goes by that I didn't get a good morning / goodnight text. He made everyday worth being happy for. He made me realize a lot in myself. We shared everything. I use to give him money and he did the same to me, we use to cook each other lunch, just simply take care of each other. Everyday was a happy day for me and him. But u might be wondering it seems like u guys love each other a lot , y would u guys break up? Well I have a lot of insecurity because of my past relationships, I never thought I was good enough or pretty enough to be his gf. He told me stop thinking like that Cus I'm the only women he sees and loves. I met his family. He showed me off to the world. Say I was his queen ect. He motivated me to do better in the sports I play. We filled out scholarships for each other. Motivated each other in everything we did. He have put up with a lot I've done. He was tierd of me putting ppl in our relationship, assuming he was doing things behind my back( cheating) which he never did nor talk to someone different but I was so insecure. He got fed up and left me and now I've realize what I've lost. I've lost my motivator, best friend, my happiness. I pray everyday we get back together. We've been broken up for a week now and it feels like a year. My room is full of things he bought me. Sometimes he only had enough money for a haircut but he gave me that money so I can eat and he don't get money often. I just wanna show him that my insecurities are gone and my assumption too. Just us breaking up made me realize how much I needed to change but I told him I would always change and I never did but the time I really changed he doesn't believed me because I've said it a bunch of times. I would like for u guys to pray for us to work things out because ever since I lost him, I've lost my happiness, my motivation, and most importantly the love of my life
Tags: Anti-Break-Up
My story is fairly simple. I have been seeing a man since New Year's. It got serious quickly, we were spending every night together at his house or my house., and I was enjoying the ride. At the time we started going out, I had just lost my job, and was in the middle of an incredibly stressful time. He was a nice distraction, and I admired his ability to overlook my declining finances and my uncertain professional future. Then, I go an interview for my dream job. When I told him how excited I was, he responded, "Honey, you've said that already." The day of the interview, he didn't even call or text to see how it went. When I took temp jobs to pay my bills, he got annoyed that my schedule was so unpredictable. When my car needed a repair, he offered me the money, implying that it was gift, just because cared about me. Two weeks later, during an argument, he demanded to know when he would "see that money again". Recently, he texted me that he would prefer it if I stopped calling or messaging him, leaving all communication strictly at his discretion. Then I received the following text, "I miss you too, but I feel trapped. You are incredibly intense." I blocked his calls and texts, deleted his contact information from my phone, blocked his e-mail address, and dumped our entire text thread from my memory card. I am packing his belongings and shipping them back. Frankly, I don't care what he does with the clothes and personal belongings that are at his place. The only item I truly care about is my glasses. And maybe my dog's bowls. Frankly, I have reached the point of apathy. I have just decided to vanish.
Tags: Badbreakup hopeless love
As a seventeen year old girl I have been told that I am beginning to start out my life. But I can't seem to wrap my finger around it I don't know why but I truly hate being a teenager.. Well anyways I grew up in a very Christian family where as a small child I was not exposed to much of the outer world I was literally locked up at home with only gospel music and movies of Daniel in the lions den. I guess you can say I was an innocent child, when I started high school I had everything planned out I would go to school stay in my books and study hard to graduate with no drama . Life however decided to throw me the unexpected. At the age of fourteen I met a guy who was like no other or so I thought, he showed me everything that I didn't know existed for example music genres, because of him I found out that I love alternative rock, yea yea I didn't know what that was xp.. I really thought we would be together forever like he told me, we even ran away together. my parents did not like the fact that I started to date an "outsider" a guy who wasnt Christian so they did everything possible to break us up, I was sent to Texas for a couple of months but that didnt work. Nothing they did worked, my family would warn me about how guys only use you or that he will find someone else then leave you stranded I didn't believe them, I admit I am a stubborn person. I loved him with all my heart and but to this day I still do, I love him so much that it hurts v.v We had dated for three years, he then broke up with me right after our three year anniversary. I gave up everything to him, my innocence, my trust, my love everything even money. Everyday we would spend together and when he broke up with me I felt as if I was being hit by trucks. It has been 5 months since our break up and I still can't move on. I have tried just about everything there is to forget but it's hard, especially since my school is literally one hall way. I see him everyday and it hurts, just yesterday I saw him with another girl.. And it hurt since yesterday would have been 3 years and 5 months. To make matters worse i recently found out that he had cheated on more than once throughout our relationship, and honestly that just made my depression worse..He was my first boyfriend ever and probably my last, guys are too complicating and I'm not good with relationship. I was told to never run away from my problems but there are times where you have to get away to continue with your life. I'm a senior with only two months until graduation, but because I decided to take the teenage love life experience I am forced to transfer schools. Life as a teenage girl.. .-.
Tags: Bad Breakup, Pregnancy,
When I was 20, and not long after I had gotten out of another relationship I started seeing a guy who I was incredibly attracted too (and i think that may have been one of the only reasons I was with him) He was tall, dark hair, blue eyes and very muscular. I'll call him Dave for this story. So Dave and I started dating and we weren't together long before sleeping together. We were all over each other, but one day I discovered that he was putting a condom on then taking it off without me noticing before we had sex. Needless to say I got pregnant. At first I was completely smitten by him and I was convinced along with all my friends and family that he would stand by me. But before I discovered I was pregnant things started getting a little weird. I noticed he tried to dominate me, just with things like asking me to get the light or make a cup of tea but he demeaned me greatly if I didn't do it. He also kept giving me back-handed compliments like 'I don't like piercings but you SOMEHOW manage to stay pretty even with them' He didn't like me taking my bra off during sex because my breasts were a turn off but he liked having my top off because he still thought I was mostly sexy, didn't like hanging out with me friends, or stop over at my place, would always choose what was on tv even if I didn't like it, (which was usually the case) and the same with music. It was a disaster but just seeing him got me flustered so I put up with it. He told me he didn't want the baby but he'd stick by me if I chose to keep it which I did. Much to my surprise (but looking back it should have been obvious) he dumped me, refused to have anything to do with the kid, tried again 4 weeks after breaking up to get me to get rid of the baby, blamed the whole thing on me and said I just did it for attention so he shouldn't have to be a dad. After my son was born I tried to get child support off him but he claimed he wasn't the dad and refused a DNA test. I would love to get him back one day but I started dating my current boyfriend when I was 7 months pregnant who I had known before hand. He quit a job he loved to get a better paid one, borrowed money off his family to get a nice, decent house for all three of us to live in and asked me not to take money of Dave because as far as he's aware my son is his and he will support him not some jackass that's not man enough to take responsibility. We are now looking into my boyfriend adopting our son, and as a Christmas present I changed our son's second name to his. He cried he was so happy. I was 20, at uni, my family lived in a different country and I was living on my mates couch at the time I got pregnant...just goes to show you that when life is hard there are still some good people you can depends on.
Tags: Bet, In Love, Young, Naive, High School, Virginity, Fake Friends, Bad People
So, I'm eighteen now but I'm going to rewind a year to my sophomore year..
~2 YEARS AGO~
When I was 16 I moved to California from Atlanta.. When I got here I was well known because of my skin color and my suprising hair length.. I got some secret admirers during the first few months and some not so secret admirers.. For the most part I had a very small group of girl friends but a large group of acquaintances.. Everyone I knew I was introduced to by one of my friends.. I was invited to a party about a month after I arrived by one of my friends (let's call her Becca). So Becca introduced me to three guys at the party (Let's call them Luke, Nate, and Daniel). So Luke and I really hit it off and we started to hang out.. Everywhere Becca took me Luke was there.. After another month of us hanging out we officially started dating.. He was so sweet to me and I remember always thinking.. 'I'm so in love with this guy'.. We spent every moment together and he treated me so well.. When I got a job at this tanning spa he would always bring me food and gifts.. After another month of this he started to disappear.. I wasn't really worried about it at the time because I was a dumb love-struck child.. After a few weeks of absence with only phone calls he reappeared and his charm was in over-drive.. Around this time rumors started floating around school that I was a slut and all that shit and that Luke got me pregnant.. I asked him about it and he just insisted that they were jealous and told me he loved me.. He told me this every day five times a day almost for the next three weeks.. And then he proposed... (Yes, he proposed to me at 16.. And my dumb ass said 'yes') Welp.. I lost my virginity that night.. (Don't judge me.. He's a con-artist) And the gifts, the visits, the 'I love you's, the calls, everything.. Stopped. I was still infatuated with him and I refused to believe he used me.. He never proposed with a ring which should've told me that he wasn't serious but I thought him saying 'I love you' was good enough.. The rumors at school got worse in his absence and I heard an interesting theory swirling around.. It was a bet. I refused to believe it at first until I decided to ask Becca about it.. She just cried and cried and cried.. She kept telling me she was sorry and she didn't know he would actually do it.. Turns out my 'friends' Nate and Daniel bet Luke $200 dollars that he couldn't take my virginity before the year was up.. TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS IS WHAT MY VIRTUE MEANT TO THEM!! Luke came back to school a month later and acted as if I was invisible.. I stopped talking to all my friends and found a new group.. I confronted Luke a week later and he said he just fell out of love and the bet never existed which I know is bullshit because he somehow got a new paintjob for his car.. I didn't cry.. I wasn't sad.. I was pissed beyond words.. He dismissed me so easily after he took something that was meant for my husband.. I could've hurt him as easily.. I thought about slashing his tires or something like that but in the long run I didn't do anything that could get me in trouble.. I let it go. It's been two years since then and I have a new boyfriend.. His name is Chris! I love him sooo much and unlike Luke we're taking it slow because we both know what it's like to get hurt.. I've spoken to Luke once since the confrontation and that was to curse him out and vent a little bit.. Which ultimately ended in him walking away and me slapping him.. I hope Luke finds someone good so that when he does some shit like that to her and she leaves he'll know how other people feel when he mistreats them.. Chris and I are in love.. And I'm sure this time because it feels different than the love I had for Luke.. It feels natural.. I guess I felt strained in my relationship with Luke without realizing it because I had nothing to compare it to.. Just in case you were wondering.. Yes. My parents know what Luke did to me and his parents know too.. I'm not going to share what happened because that's between our families but I'll tell you Luke owes my family a lot of money.. This experience has made me stronger in more ways than one and more alert.. Before you judge me you have to remember I was naive and sixteen.. With college time nearing and my upcoming move to L.A. with Chris I can let go of all the scars that my move to California gave me because I got lots of opportunities too! If anything like this happens to you know that there is light at the end of the tunnel.. I found my light! This is for the girls.. Save your V-Card.. You only have one and make sure it counts and he really deserves it.. I made the fatal mistake to give it to someone who saw it is nothing more than a bet and hasn't even apologized.. I hope you learned something from my mistake.. Byeeee!
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