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Poor Guy

December 01, 2011 @ (India)

I ended my 7 year long relation few days back.It started when I was 16. A high school romance...butterflies in the stomach and stuff...We went to college to different cities but it kept on. She was in a girl's college with no guys around. She used to come to meet me sometimes but meetings were rare and it took months for us to meet. We kept together by phone and occassional meetings. I was too emotionally attached to her and felt the same for her as well. Years passed, I thought our love grew stronger. We were different people. I was very ambitious and a little introvert. She was a complete extrovert, liked attention and was not much into career. During college I found a few girls who I thought were more mature than she was but I loved her for what she was, never ever thought of snapping it...Over the years I created an illusion(atleast now I feel so) that she was the one and we are together for eternity. I faced some really difficult time in 2010 and she was rock solid by my side.My love and respect grew for her. I reciprocated in the same way. Being by her side everytime. She said she respected me for that. Finally we got a job in the same city and after 4 long years we were together again. Could meet. I felt complete. I thought our relation was evolving. I got more serious. Told my family. She did the same.(not Mom and dad, but others).I was very happy with her. I felt she was happy with me as well. In july, I got busy with an office assignment, she said she was busy as well.I did not care as I trusted her. In october I was out of the country for work. We were talking still.Perfectly fine. No issues. I came back in November. It was her birthday on 6th. I wanted to be with her 24x7 and told her so. She agreed. But on 4th, she called me and said she wanted to party with friends. After some discussion and my failed attempts to change her mind, it was agreed that she would party with her friends. I was sad. But still wanted to be with her. On her Bday night, I found her lying to me about a guy's call the other night.He was an office colleague whom she knew for 6 months.Trvial issue I thought, we discussed and she said she shouldn't have lied, apologised. I was happy. But to my surprise I caught her lying again. Same day. I was angry. We talked and she confessed that she kissed that guy on her bday. She told it to be an impulsive one and only a one time thing..I asked her to choose between the guy and me. To my freaking surprise she said she is having a strong feeling towards him. I was miserable. I somehow persuaded her to meet me and not think of snapping a 7 year relation just like that. We met the next day, talked.I was so scared that night that I slept holding her hand and kept murmuring,"Please, dont go, dont go" and she kept telling me she wont. She agreed that she made a mistake and she must stop it. But somehow, she was not happy. After a long discussion the next day, she confessed that her bday was not the first time and she had been cheating on me while I was out of the country in October. I was broken. We used to talk every day then and she had no guilt. Nothing. I asked her to forget him and come back. But she did not. She said she could not stop talking to him.. She gave up a 7 year relation for a guy whom she knows just for 5 months. The guy knew about it all around that she was committed. Yet....I feel horrible right now. All the time I was out, I kept telling people that she's waiting for me to get back..she was even calling me and telling me that she missed me and wanted me back soon. But in reality she was in someone else's arms. I don't know if I would ever be able to forget this. I don't know if I would ever be able to love anyone now..I could not believe it..I mean it was all OK for me till 6th, not even the slightest hint.I was buying stuff for her bday.and on 9th, it was over....I feel broken...and find solace only in alcohol

Young And Naive

November 29, 2011 @ (nj)

Tags: naivegirl stupidguy

Ok so my break up story is about a guy I dated in my highschool years. I met Shane my sophomore in highschool he was a freshman. I thought he was really cute and vice versa. He always asked our mutual friends about me. I liked him because he was sweet and he seemed like he genuinely liked me. He tried getting a friend to ask me out for him cuz he was shy but I refused to give an answer until he asked for himself. Eventually got the nerve to ask me I was ecstatic and of course said yes. We dated for about a month and a half and he broke up with me cuz I refused to be the one to kiss him first and he didn't have the balls to do it. So we kept in touch and remained friends. We started "talking" again my junior year and he told me he wanted to try us out again. I told him I wouldn't do it unless he kissed me first so he kissed me and I said yes. He got excited and hugged and kissed me again. He treated me pretty good and we talked on the phone almost every night but we never got the chance to hang out cuz my mom is over bearing and extremely strict. We dated for about a month before he broke up with me only to ask me back out a day later. I wasn't going to say yes but his twin brother told me that he talked about me nonstop and that he missed me so I gave in. We dated for 2 more months after that we loved eachother or so I thought. One day while on the phone he broke up with me after a huge argument and it absolutely crushed me. Again we remained friends. My senior year we started talking again but it didn't go anywhere. I graduated highschool and we kept in touch. I dated other people he dated other people. We started talking again(I couldn't stay away being with him just felt so nice) we had sex a couple times and we're thinking about going out again but I decided I didn't feel like risking the hurt again but we remained in touch and flirted all the time. No matter how many girls he dated it always came back to me so I know deep down he does have real feelings for me but he's too immature to commit(none of his relationships last long) I eventually just gave up on him and could not be happier with that decision. I'm with an amazing guy now. We've been together for a little over a year and are engaged. I have no contact with my ex at all. Ahh it feels nice to get all of this off of my chest$

Pixie

November 25, 2011 @ (United Kingdom)

Tags: confused, hurt, lost, change, embarrassing

We met in September 2010, at a friend's flat party. He whisked me off to the Isle of Skye for three days of surreal relaxation. We didn't even know each other but both wanted an adventure. I was his after that.

The next year was one of the best. Truly, I was so happy. He was my best friend, we spent most of our time together. He wrote me songs, letters, drew me pictures. I visited his family, he met mine, we all got on. Not one person in my life disliked him. We never argued, and he knew me better than anybody else.

However, this September, things changed. He became more interested in University work and University friends. I can understand that completely, we live in different cities, about 40 minutes apart, but he had literally no time for me, and reminded me of that constantly. He told me to put up with it for the next year and a half.

Things exploded and we broke up over the phone. He then phoned me ten times, I ignored, and he turned up at my flat, on the verge of tears, with a letter saying how sorry he is and how he realises now that he was wrong. I told him we both need to take a bit of room to breathe.

A week later, I asked him to meet up for a coffee, expecting him to be in a similar, apologetic mind set, and with hopes we could find a new way forward, things were going to change. Instead, he told me his life is a lot less stressful without me. "It's not that I don't like you" he said, and proceeded to talk about how we should be friends because we get on so well. He showed no emotion whatsoever. I met him at 3 and was waiting for a train home by 20 past 3. He told me about the "cool" parties he's been to with his friends and the nights he has planned, how some girl was nipping his thigh at the last one and being very weird with him.

I didn't show any emotion. I was relentlessly 'nice' because I didn't want him to have all of the power, or anything to hold against me. Now I'm just trying to pick up the pieces.

AC

October 25, 2011 @ (US)

Tags: indecisive, indecision, flip flop, back and forth

It is apparently over. It feels that way. I have not been able to say the words to her though I think my heart feels it is.

It isn't that I don't love her, its that I am so unsure of what I want for my life that my instincts (or my goddamn brain) won't let me find clarity. Maybe that means I don't love her...I dunno. Or maybe I don't need clarity and I'm just ignoring my instincts which say that this relationship can not work considering the re-evaluation I am undertaking.

I haven't been able to wholeheartedly agree on the direction she would like life to go in...it mostly the children issue. But its not because I'm so against it or worried she isn't good enough to build a life with. I just haven't found a way to say yes or no, to reconcile what I want with what she does so maybe the indecisiveness is my answer.

Even if it means that I change my mind a year from now, I think the answer is "no I can't be what you need and deserve right now." If that's the case and she has a clearer plan for her life, I should let her go so she can find it with someone else. It may be the worst decision of my life and I may regret it but I just can't see a way to put love, attention and energy into this relationship AND try to figure my own shit out.

Part of me feels plain dumb for not having figured myself out at 33, but part of me also doubts that every married with kids person really gave it all as much thought and followed their instincts either. It feels so odd to not inherently agree with the way society goes about relationships, marriage, kids and just maturing in general. Everyone feels like they are on auto-pilot with their life choices. Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better about my indecision.

I think in many ways my spirit is flawed, broken...but not irreparable. I will take the time to ask my heart what it really wants and I will keep asking until it responds....because it will. It wants me to be happy and maybe it doesn't even yet know what it wants but when it does, I will fight for it with all I can. I only have one known chance at living. I've got to try and live as best I can. I hate that I don't know that she could represent living life the best way I can, but if we are done and it was a mistake, it just feels like a mistake I have to make, otherwise I am doomed to create the same indecision and same mistakes time and time again.

CaptainMac316

October 01, 2011 @ (USA)

Tags: Sorry, that sucks, That's hilarious

I was dating this girl for almost 5 years. We were high school sweethearts and that continued into college. I get home from work one night and I think it's just a normal night. We are laying in bed watching whatever and she turns to me and says "(Name redacted) we need to talk." My first thought was "Fuck...what did I do now?"
So I ask her "What's up?"
Her response: "I...I found somebody else." I was floored. This was from out of nowhere. Now, as I'm sitting there, I start to think "Where did she find somebody else?" She didn't go to college. She didn't work at the time. She didn't venture out of the house unless she went somewhere with her family. Basically, I was dating a loser. So I asked "Where did you meet this guy?"
She replied, "Online." Ah, that made a lot of damn sense now. So, I ask her "Which site?" I'm thinking like eHarmony or match.com. Her response "I met him in a Harry Potter chat room." My only reaction was to laugh at her. "Are you kidding me?" I asked incredulously. She definitely was not. "What do you talk about on a Harry Potter chatroom? Did he ask you if you wanted to see his wand?" I got no response. Was I said and upset? Yes, but remember, laughter helps out when getting over such things.

Susanna

August 31, 2011 @ (malaysia)

Tags: example 1, example 2

My-then boyfriend of one year said that he needed to go to another island (within our country) to help out family's business (timber business) and he said that he would be back in a month' time. Two months passed, he didn't show any sign that he would come back and when I asked, he made a big deal about it and accused me of forcing him to choose between me and his family.

To make things worse, he also told her family about it and made them hate me.We fought like crazy, and he said he would be there for at least a year. I promised to wait for him. Even though it was so hard to contact him since he's in the jungle most of the time, but I tried my best to make it works.

Three months later, during my study break, I decided to pay him a visit. It was my first time to fly and to go to that island. He promised to pick me up from the airport and spend time with me. I was so excited since Id never flied before and Id never been to that island, because its on other part of my country.

The day before I arrived, I tried to call him but couldn't get through. I was worried but I still went there, hoping that he would keep his promises. When I arrived there, I couldn't get him through the phone.

So I settled down alone, looking for the guest house and all, with a very small budget (since he promised to pay my money back!). I tried to call him everyday but couldn't get through and couldn't stop crying because I was alone there and that place is so unfamiliar to me, couldn't afford to change my flight back.

I called his sister with the hope that she would help me a bit but she just show how much she and her family hate me. I almost faint when I know about it. They didn't even want to see my face.

Only on 5th day finally my-then bf contacted me and agreed to meet me for only two hours. He promised he would come back again. But until now.. after one year and a half I'd never heard from him again.

Susan

August 20, 2011 @ (reading, pa.)

Tags: example 1

I met a wonderful man on match.com. We were instantly attracted to each other. He came on very strong and I told him to take it slow, which did not happen. In the long run it was flattering to have this handsome man say he was falling in love with you. By the third week of dating he did a turn around saying he needed time and was confused. I responded with an email telling him to take the time he needed but in the future no matter who he is with to go slow. We ended up seeing each other again and we were back in the same boat with him telling me he wanted to live with me and he loved me. Again 2 weeks after the first episode he started to pull away saying he was not sure. At this time I was schedule for surgery and he was suppose to take me and be there when I woke up. Well Mr. Wonderful said he was sorry and he just needed time. I told him take the time and I would find another ride to the hospital, terrible timing. Also I told him I could not continue with this roller coaster and to please stop contacting me. We talked a few more times with him saying he was sorry and this whole thing had nothing to do with me!!! I asked it there was somone else and he just said he was going through something. So now the surgery is over, I had lots of friends and family helping out. I am dealing with healing from the operation and the pain of not being with a person I truly cared for. Obviously he had some emotional issues and was not ready or open for a loving relationship. I still have great hope and look forward to my wonderful partner who I know is just around the corner!!

Clarissa

August 08, 2011 @ (Orlando, FL.)

Tags: Liar.

I probably deserved it. In fact, I know I did.
I created a fake IM to text my boyfriend of almost 1 1/2 years to see if he was as loyal as he says.
I made the girl my perfect opposite- nothing like me down to the typing.
I talked, flirted, tried my hardest to get him to like "her". It wouldn't work. He said the cutest things about us that made me fall in love with him all over again. The next time "we" talked though, I sent him a picture of some random hot girl on the internet. He exchanged pictures.
He said she was "adorable." all the while texting the REAL me, and saying I'm the only girl he has eyes for, the only one he finds adorable, pretty, gorgeous, beautiful, cute.
My heart dropped a thousand miles.
My throat choked up.
My eyes began to downpour.
"I" asked if his girlfriend would like this. He said he didn't know, then said that, "we could talk just as friends."
I wanted to tell him I caught him in his lie.
I was so hurt. We'd been together that long- I gave him my EVERYTHING, just for that in return.
I can never forgive him.
Never.

Once A Cheater Always A Cheater

July 06, 2011 @ (florissant, mo)

Tags: (cheater!!, heart breaker)

i dated my boyfriend for 1 year he was my first love and our relationship was amazing! he always spoiled me whenever he could he was so nice and he always told me he loved me. we always knew since i was only 15 and him 17 that we wouldnt last 4ever. but we did promise each other a few things 1. no dating or hooking up with anyone for a couple months after breaking up. 2.if u cheat on me tell me! 3. we will still be friends after we break up. so as time went on he constantly said i had an attitude about everything he did and we were always getting annoyed with each other we promised we would both work on our flaws but the last month i felt like he didnt care anymore and that he was cheating on me.In that month i always cried at night because i thought he was gonna break up and was cheating on me. He kept picking up more hours at work which kept making me so upset because i missed seeing him and i would get annoyed when he promised 2 hang out with me but worked last min. he never wanted 2 stay the night anymore, he stopped calling, after work he always went to parties he never asked me to go anymore and kept saying he wanted 2 go home 4 alone time but would go out and hangout with his friends. a week after our 1 year anniversary he came over and i was so excited 2 hangout with him but he told me he had 2 work... i was really upset so he left. i got online and his facebook status said about done i asked him if it was about me and then he broke up with me over a facebook message according to him it was because of my attitude and i begged him to give me another chance until a couple days later i found out he was cheating on me when we were dating and as soon as we broke up had sex with a couple girls... all the promises he made me were a lie and he never kept any of them i recently found out he is now talking to another girl that i hate and he always called a whore when we were dating and i am still not over him its only been a week!

Lynette

May 14, 2011 @ (Los Angeles)

Tags: Liar

18 months of my life that I can't get back. Funny thing is that when we were together, everything seemed wonderful. He was loving, attentive, and sweet. It was the first time since my painful divorce that I let myself really trust and fall in love. What a mistake!

He told me that he was divorced. He said he was living in his friend's guest house- even took me there! Of course, he wasn't. They were all lies. You know where this is going.... Abruptly, his wife calls me. I guess that one day he called my office on their house phone and she got suspicious. I eventually found out that he bought a separate cell phone just to call me so that his wife wouldn't find out. Anyhow, his wife and I had an interesting conversation on the phone. She actually seemed to be a genuinely nice person- I feel sorry for her. I was also really upset that I unknowingly caused her so much pain- having also experienced a cheating spouse before.

Aparently, he had been lying to me all along, and had cheated on her before. He was still living with his wife. And lying to both of us, using me. When he finally did call me, it was to simply tell me (with a flat affect like he was ordering a pizza)that he was going back to his wife and he asked me not to call her (too late, she called me first) because otherwise, I would be the one responsible for breaking up their family if I spoke with her. Unbelievable! He tried to place the blame on me! And he was afraid that I would tell her what he had been up to. WOW.

Glad I found this out though, imagine if his wife had really left him/divorced him? Now I think that all I was to him was his backup plan in case she did leave. And he probably would have turned around and done the same thing to me later- cheated. Still really angry though. Angry that someone could be so cold hearted and just blatenly lie. Not sure I can trust again now.