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Heartbroken Girl

January 15, 2012 @ (Austria)

Well, here's my story..
About 2 weeks ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. To be honest, he has been breaking up with me for the past 2 years. Basically, the first year was more than just perfect. It was more I thought possible! I loved him so much, I would have done anything for me and I knew he felt the same way about me.

So after a year, he broke up with me for the first time. I probably did the worst thing possible after that: I begged him to stay with me and tried to convince him for an hour to give us another chance - which he did eventually.
The weird thing was, that in those next few days, he would be everything I wanted. Kind, sweet, caring, telling me how much he loved me and that he couldn't imagine living a life without me.

This lasted for about 2 months when he broke up with me again. I didn't beg him to stay with me anymore, but after some days he came back, telling me how sorry he was and that he badly wanted us to be together again - I went back.
You see the pattern there, I guess..

So, that's how it would be: breakin up, getting back together, being completely in love again, breaking up..
After 2 years, I wasn't myself anymore. My life revolved around him, he was the center of my universe and that's when I completely lost myself.. I was trying to be the perfect girlfriend, to never make him angry, to always do what he wanted me to do, but it didn't matter. No matter what I did, he would still breake up with me after telling me the day before that I was everything he wanted.

I was confused, devastated, hurt. So, about half a year ago, after one of his breakups I knew, I couldn't take it anymore. I even had to get professional help and take antidepressants to get through the day. It was the hardest time of my life and there were times, were I didn't just want to die (which I did daily), but when I thought I actually would because of the pain.
The only thing that helped me was knowing that he didn't have anyone else and I tried to tell myself he would come back eventually. After some time, I even thought, I had found myself again and I didn't need him anymore.

So, 3 months ago, he texted me, saying how much he wanted me and another chance with me. When he came over, I knew I never stopped loving him, but at least I was able to keep control of myself. He noticed of course, that I had changed and he was everything I always wanted him to be. He even was full of doubts, saying how scared he was, that I wouldn't want him anymore and that he was so sorry for what he had done and that he had the feeling that everything was better now.
I really thought, he had a wakeup call and that he finally knew, he didn't want to be without me. Everytime I went out with my friends, he was so scared that I would meet someone else that I even felt sorry for him, because I really didn't want him to feel bad. So I would always say the sweetest things, when he called or texted me, because I wanted his doubts to go away - while I was out, supposed to be having fun. I liked doing it though, because it showed me, he cared!

We didn't see each other that often during the last 3 months, because we both had a lot of work to do and we wanted to take things slow. We didn't spend christmas and new year's eve together because he was visiting his family. I really missed him and he also always said how much he was looking forward to seeing me again. I believed him.
On new year's eve, while I was out celebrating, he kept texting me, calling me, saying that he was so scared I would do anything stupid and that he wanted to remind me how happy he was to be seeing me the next day.

So, when he came to visit me, he was kind and sweet and he stayed over. The next day, after sleeping with me once more of course, he broke up with me.. For the last time now, because a few days ago I found out he was already in a relationship with another woman..
After ONE week..

How come, I am so easy to forget? That he's living his life with someone else, happy, while I don't even know how to get up in the morning?
Everyone keeps telling me, that I would get over him eventually and that I'm oh so young (20) so of course I would fall in love again - and maybe they are right!

But... I know that there are people out there, never able to let go, who always find themselves hurt and miserable again, everytime they see that person.
I don't want to end up like that, I don't, but what if I'm one of those people? What if everytime I'm going to see him alone or with his new girlfriend, my hearts just breaks all over again?
How do I know that I'll be able to let go?

It felt good to get this of my chest..
With all my love,

a heartbroken girl

Mychelle

January 08, 2012 @ (United States)

Tags: errands

We had been dating a year and a half, tonight was supposed to be his housewarming party so i got all cute for for it. We had been having some problems in our relationship but they were things that just needed to be talked about and worked on. And i was already having a bad week, i was late to work and got fired two days before, so this party was going to be a good time to just relax and have fun for a night. Around noon he texted me that we needed to have a talk, I already agreed to it but i was thinking wed get all upset and it might ruin the party for us. So about an hour before it starts he comes over, gets in my car with me and tells me its not working for him. He doesnt like my personality, im always getting on his nerves, and hes just not happy with me. Just like that. As ui cried he continued to check his watch and then said "Well i have some errands to run" and left.

SnowCrashed

January 05, 2012 @ (USA)

Tags: crazy, psycho, weird, funny

This one was definitely my funniest. This total nutjob I hated myself enough to date at the time was a nightmare. Never shut up, had no personality, was an entitled, spineless child, tried to absorb every little trend that ever happened in order to make himself look cool, treated me like dirt, lied, stole, and despite never going to college, counted himself as "the most learned person he knew" because he'd figured out how to read Wikipedia. Also, he was insane. (And now he's SINGLE, ladies! Have at him!) One day, I had the epiphany "OH MY GOD I ---HATE--- THIS PERSON". Oddly enough it was during sex. Not sure why, but moving on. Now, I don't condone what I did in response to this, but I was young and cowardly, so there you go. I was at home the next day and I got a text from him. I was going to reply, but then I suddenly thought..."What if I just didn't respond? Ever? Ever again? Could it be that easy?" So that's what I did. A few days later the texts and calls stopped. I couldn't believe it worked. Almost. A week later out of the blue, he ruins my euphoria by showing up at my house and screaming that "he would break up with me" if I didn't stop ignoring him. So I was like... "Uhhh...okay bye!" and tried to go back inside, but he barged in after me and started ranting "all the reasons" he'd been "planning" to break up with me for "months". To which I was like "Dude, gtfo my house, or cops will be called." Then he responded by saying there was no way I'd go on living without him, that I'd kill myself without him--in retrospect I don't know how I wasn't literally rolling on the floor laughing. Eventually I said "Fine, if I stop texting you assume it's because I killed myself in depression, now leave." And then he starts wailing and wailing and telling me he'll kill HIMself if I break up with him. All I could say to that was "Yeah, well, good luck with that." Then I shoved him until he was out the door and threatened him with violence not to return. It must've been pretty convincing, because when he bumped into me a few months later he RAN the other way. Like I said. Giant coward. Memorable story for me though.

His Only?

December 18, 2011 @ (If only I knew..)

Tags: two years, serious, love, hurt, miss him, want him back, heartbreak, pure, happy, how

I don't want this to sound like another bad romance or break up.. Because we weren't. I know this is hard to believe but in eighth grade, I met the love of my life. Don't get me wrong, I was really young and naive. But he had me at hello. He was tender but strong, charming but sweet, and fun ut committed. He was perfect for me. My other half has finally connected with my soul. We dated seriously for 2 years. We never rushed anything, always a casual move or a serious discussion. We realized the dangers of becoming as close as we did but were so sure we would be together for years to come. He loved me enough to even sit through New Moon with me on our year anniversary. I guess I was never a great girlfriend to him but I couldn't, and still can't live a day without him. A week after our two years, we got into a fight and my friend got involved and made him want to break up with me.. We were done at that point.. We disconnected and lost each other. Tragically, I grieved for months about losing him. He was my gift and I let it go. He moved,literally, across the country and it's been 8 months since I've seen or heard from him. Recently, he popped up into my Facebook and we started talking. I realized about 3 weeks ago how much I missed him and how much I want him back.. He is still kind of bitter, but is sincere too. I'm not sure what I should do anymore about this and was seeking help and guidance from someone who has gone through something like this. I know we both messed up but I still love him dearly. And I don't want to sound like a hopeless romantic because I'm not. I gave myself to him and have lost it. He means the world to me... Still.. Thank you for reading my reach out..

Wasn\\

December 12, 2011 @ (Edmonton, Alberta)

Tags: 1

I was clear on my intentions when I told the universe what I wanted "Somebody who loves me as I am" and he showed up. He was funny, flirty, nervous, self conscious and lacked confidence. Why? God knows because he was handsome, fit, funny and available. We worked together and at first i did not want to work with him because he had a sarcastic and surly streak, but over time he won me with his charm. It was an intense and passionate love right from the start, but i had to acknowledge that even with all his flirting, I was the one who asked him out. He reciprocated and we had afternoon dates over lunch and long walks. then we started sleeping together and I told him that I loved him. That didn't go over very well. We dated steadily for 2 months when he went on a holiday. The people he was going to meet up with seemd a strange mix but I didn't know him that well at the time.

Turns out he met up with a woman from his past who drifted into the spot of "platonic friend." I said he needed to make clear his intentions with her. She kept calling and he kept answering.
Then she became this regular part of his/our life but she lived in the states so was far removed. I started to get jealous and we had our first of many break ups over his lack of honesty and the way he painted the picture of her involvement in his life. i was in love with him, saw him every day at work and couldn't break free form his emotional pull. I took a transfer. that worked for a week or two and then we started speaking again and seeing each other again but it was not th same. He started to pint out my flaws, I saw his evasiveness and aloof behaviour more clearly. We started to disagree. Eventually i watched him openly flirt with another woman at a cocktail party and knew that it was time to move on. He denied it of course, called me jealous, said I was hot and cold with him. We had tickets to the company Christmas party so agreed to still go together. there was no magic anymore. He won a door prize of jewellery at the party and reluctantly gave it to me. My co-workers thought his distance was strange. I tried so hard not to belittle him or be angry with him but it was hard. He drove me home, we said our goodbyes, he was cold and distant, the man I knew hm to be in the beginning, the man i didn't want to work next to. I asked him why he would start dating me again if he wasn't that interested. He said he was sorry about that. And then it was over. Now I'm working on a different floor and working through this breakup so that I can continue on in finding love. I just wasn't clear in my intentions.

Elove

November 19, 2011 @ (Los Angeles )

Tags: break up

lets call him alex. he asked me to be his girlfriend on september 25, 2009. he was sweet, caring, funny, i loved him with all my soul and he would always tell me that he loves me that i was his only one. he would tell me that he wanted to marry me and have children with me someday. he was my happiness, my everything. we went out on the weekends and sometimes on weekdays. since the moment i met his family we got along so well. on january 2010 he was acting sort of distant with me. i wondered what i did wrong. then the last week of that month we were talking on the phone and he told me that he needed a break. that he was stressed out cause of school and football. i cried, i was broken. the next day he texted me and told me that he had actually cheated on me, i didnt believe him. so i talked to a mutual friend we both have and he told me that alex was lying to me that he just told me that he cheated on me so that i can forget bout him. so i acted like i didnt know this with alex. then that same week he had injured his ankle and i went to see him. i knew we had to fix things and i was afraid it was gonna be our last goodbye. but i was wrong. when i got there i saw him sitting on his bed and he told me to sit down next to him. i couldnt look at him so i just stared at his ankle and i had tears in my eyes and he told me he was sorry for what he "did." he touched my arm and i pulled away. i moved a little bit afar from where he was sitting and he moved closer and i wouldnt let him touch me. he then grabbed me and pulled me close to him and he started crying. then i cried. it was so emotional and i knew it wasnt the end. eventually we ended up getting back together and i was happy again. throughout the relationship we often talked about sex and i would tell him how i wanted to wait until marriage. he said he would wait for me. he said he was a virgin too then on february 8 he came over to my house and he said "u know we're gonna be together forever so why not get it over with?" so i gave in. worst mistake ever. we lost our virginity to each other. he then told me that he lied to me bout cheating and that he would never ever do that to me. from there our relationship went back to normal he was so sweet and caring. then came April and things were getting suspicious. the day after my birthday i found out trough my brothers phone that alex liked this other girl lets call her gina. i was broken. that weekend we got into an argument and he said that i still loved my ex he was putting words into my mouth that werent true. i made him tell me who this gina girl was and he ended up telling me that its the girl he likes and that he was confused bout both of us, and that the day of my birthday he had seen her and kissed her. so he said he cheated. i cried that whole day and then that week i went to see him and we acted like nothing happened we later planned our last day together, a week later he came to my house and spent one last day of our relationship with me. he told me then that he wasnt gonna get with gina and that our thing was just a break till he stopped being confused. i believed him, so i left it at that. a week later i find out that he got with her and i was depressed. 2 days after that i did a stupid thing. i got drunk and ended up intoxicated in the hospital. i had more than 100% alcohol in my body and if it wasnt for the paramedics i wouldn't be here telling my story. and i blamed him for what i did. after that i only saw him two times and eventually he cheated on gina with me. one day he told me he wanted to get back with me and that we can keep it low-key. i didnt accept that offer. so forward to November of 2010. gina requested me on FB and we talked. she said they were having problems and idk what. i ended up telling her that he cheated on her with me. she told me that they both lost it to each other and i was like WTF i ended up telling her that it wasnt true cause i lost it to him and well thats when she realized that he is a player and a lier. he would deny the fact that he did it with me but watever we both know he lied. so i'll leave it at that. i loved him so much and i never thought this would happen. its hard for me to trust any guy again. i wish i never met him but then again i dont regret all those amazing moments i shared with him. i still keep his gifts and letters and his shirt. i miss him and i still love him but im willing to move on.

Just The Way You Are

October 11, 2011 @ (CA)

Tags: Example i

It's not really a break up, Im just in desperate need for advice. It all started October last year. I was staying at one of my mums friends houses and her son and I only knew eachother because of our parents work together. He is 17 and a highschool dropout. I'm 15 and still currently doing my studies. That night he went out with a couple of mates. For some peculiar reason I asked him to wake me when he got home. When he did he woke me and we spooned on his bed talking about whatever came to mind. He was so sweet, a side I've never seen from him before. After that experience we never really spoke again. Until about a week ago when I foundmyself in the same position. This time it got sexual. Only he was to big for me, so we didn't end up having sex. He was the first person id engaged with in doing stuff like that. I wasn't his first though. It was kinda strange. I felt so comfortable around him, I could be myself and not be self conscious like I normally am around others, and all my previous boyfriends. After that night we didn't speak again until two nights ago. I layer with him and drew circles on his leg, it was tickling him, and he was so cute. Just before we fell asleep he grabbed my hand and placed it on his crouch. After that he didnt speak to me ever again. I think I've fallen for him, but I can't help to think that he is just in it for the fun and the sexual side of things. I don't think he admires me as a person.he only admires what I can do with my hands. But his the type of person that if he did have feelings for me, he'd never let me know. His quite a big build. But I really want him to know that I love him for who he is, not what he looks like , or what he has achieved. I love him for him. As simple as it gets. His friends are complete drop kicks. And he values what they think. I have a feeling that's why his holding back. I don't know what to do, and advice would be great?! Thanks xo

K

August 24, 2011 @ (k)

Tags: k, k

We dated for about a year and everything was great. We had such fun times together, but I never liked him as much as he liked me. One night, he said "I love you" and I believed him. Within weeks, he became distant and distracted. He called me one day to meet him and broke up with me while his ex sat in the car. Once I walked back to my car, she jumped out and started to kiss him. Days later, I found out that they had been hooking up for months. Finally though, I'm over him.

Tristan

August 05, 2011 @ (Miami)

Tags: pregnant, crushed, sad

She was pregnant, she didnt know it and when she decided to start a relationship with me she would never expect it too end the way it did.

We only knew each other for 5 months, but a connection grew. She started off liking me more and soon the feeling was mutual. This girl was a blast to be around, strong emotionally, funny and independent. She was confident and her presence brightened up the room.
She began to feel symptoms of being pregnant (which we initally thought were food poisoning) but after several test it was determind she was indeed pregnant.
She thought it was mine and for a moment I did too. But she came too the reliazation that it was from a past brief encounter from an old relationship. My gf was pregant with another mans child. I was crushed and although our new found fresh relationship was just begining, I relized then it had just ended. I was numb and hearing her have to end it, bawling and wishing she could change it was gut renching. I played it off but later in the day became a mess.

Our short relationship was more rewarding, enjoyable and stressfree than some longer ones I have been in. I wish her the best of luck but she will always be in my mind.

Miss Boo

July 06, 2011 @ (UT)

Tags: break-up, crazy

The summer before my first year of high school I started dating one of my best guy friends, Jesus. He had been my best friend since the beginning of middle school and we were so close. I had liked him for awhile and he had no idea entire time. Right before school ended he told me that at first the only reason he had started talking to me was because he thought I was just some hot girl he could get with and be done with but after we started talking he realized that I was actually I really funny, nice person that he decided to just be friends with me.
I didn't tell him that I liked him I just said "Oh! That is so sweet, blah, blah, blah." My girl best friend is the one that told him I did because she was mad at me and didn't realize that he liked me a lot and it as actually good news to him. The next day he asked me out and I was more than surprised. I said yes of course and then we started dating.
Not long after that his crazy started coming out. I'd wake up with like 80 text messages from him. If I didn't call him back or answer a message from him in like 5 minutes he would send me 10 half angry half worried. I just wrote it off for awhile. Just thinking he really must love me or he must really be bored.
I had to go out to visit my dad in Alabama for 3 weeks and I told him I probably wouldn't be using my phone that much so he shouldn't worry. That is when he went REALLY crazy. He would send me pictures of my house at like weird times of the day and if I didn't answer he would slice up his arms and legs and send me pictures of it bleeding and gross. It was all just to weird. I told him when I got back we needed to talk in person. He said okay but still kept up the weird stuff. When I got home we went to a park to talk. It was all just a really weird day. I told him we needed to take a little break so I could decide if I wanted to move to Alabama to live with my dad. He went insane.
End of story summed up real quick. He got violent. I had to change my number. Change our locks. Only go outside with someone else and I never stayed home by myself. We almost filed for a restraining order, instead we just got him sent to a different school.