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551 Results For 'how'

Jack

May 27, 2012 @ (Texas)

Tags: 1

I really dont know what to do,

I had been dating this girl for about a year. We met in college and began dating rather quickly after we got past the friend stage. She was my first true girlfriend and long term relationship and I fell rather hard and rather quick. We argued like any normal couple did but it was always very petty. We argued basically because we loved each other so much. The girl was never a slut in any form and had only ever had sex with boyfriends of past ( i know this for a fact). she even held her self to this standard and seemed to be quite proud of it. She always spoke about wanting a good guy in her life because her previous ex had abused her and cheated on her. he used to text her a lot and she would always argue back but she showed me everything and i was never worried about her going back to him in any way. she was a very honest person and would never lie to me and our relationship was great. I did everything a good boyfriend should do i was 100% faithful, i did random things to get her affection, and would do all kinds of unasked favors just because i loved her. however she had one major flaw. She hated more then anything when she was wrong, to the point where she would become upset with me because she had wronged me. It was obvious who treated who better and even though she was so irrational sometimes i couldnt help but still love her and thing she will change. she told me she would change and i even tried to break up with her because of her actions but she begged me back. well a couple months ago she randomly broke up with me because we argued too much. after the breakup we continued to talk and after a few days we started talking about wanting to get back together. She said she wanted to take babysteps but contantly told me she loved me and when i asked if the breakup was for someone else she would tell me of course not and that she still loved me like i said. well one day i went out of town and before i left we went to eat. she told me she loved me kissed me and wanted to get back together. well even afterwards she was texting me saying she missed me and wanted to see me. I found out that weekend she had been just kind of texting around and wanting to go to some functions with fraternities a month in advance so i ended things with her on good and mutual terms that sunday.however right after this final ending i noticed a hugechange. before we broke up she always talked how shed always be there and still love me. Well for the next 5 weeks she went completely cold hearted. i didnt talk to her really except on rare occasion when i had a question about class. she would freak out and just be a total bitch. I couldnt figure it out why and i would ask her why do you hate me why cant we separate personal from school and what did i do to deserve all this. she would always overreact and say how she didnt hate me but she would continue to be a bitch. i found out about that 5th week that she had started having sex with another guy who was basically completely random. I was under the impression it happened after the final ending but i came to realize that it actually happened that same friday she was talking about getting back with me. I was devastated because this was so out of character for her and it made even less sense that she was being so bitchy all along when she had wronged me. help me understand why she is acting like this. we have since ended all forms of communication she blocked my number etc because like i said she cant stand being wrong and couldnt take the heat of me calling her out. i even went as far as to ask her why she would do that after telling me all those things and she responded in a way that showed pride in her actions. I cant understand why this girl who was supposed to have a great moral fiber would do this. is it because she truly loves me and hates herself for what she did and its just a defense mechanism? she still has yet to apologize for her actions and she had sex with him 3 months ago ad weve been broken up that long. she even goes to the links to kiss him in front of me in bars to try and prove a point.

Cc

May 23, 2012 @ (NA)

Tags: Break up

I dont know what to do. Here's my story.

I was friends with him for a year and a half before we got together. Even as friends, I knew he likes to manipulate people's feelings so that they do what he wants. He manipulated me into feeling guilty many times before and I knew he wasn't the man I was looking for. But my best friend got together with a guy I had a crush on and I was never going to get. He was recovering from his recent breakup with someone he had a long history with. So I started to go out with him.

It was my first real relationship (I'm 22). When I told my friends and family about him after a month, most of them told me they didn't like him. Some of my friends knew him from school, and warned me about being with him. I did break up with him because of that, but I also felt bad and ran back to beg for forgiveness the next day. It should've ended right there. But I was lonely and I don't like feeling I've been unfair to him.

Then for the next year and a half, we broke up numerous times and got back together the same number of times. There was never a time we were officially broken up for more than 10 days. A year ago, I told my friends and family after a break up that we were done and I never updated them that we got back together again. It was just too much drama and stupidity on my part. After most of the break ups, either of us would just begs the other for forgiveness and another chance. Because there were just too many times that had happened, I actually made a promise to myself that I won't say it again unless I meant it.

For the last two months, I feel that he's been neglecting me and mostly just spending all his time with the people at his business. I knew he really wanted make it a success, so I had gotten involved with his business too, but not helping him as much as he liked. But I was at the office ten hours a week or more until April when I had to concentrate on my exams. A few weeks ago, I realized that I'm nowhere near the top of his priorities, and he won't call or text me during the day because he's "too busy at work".

The catalyst for the break up was he promised to take me to see a movie, but he pushed it back time and time again, and I, being very considerate, allowed it. But that last time, I told him to set a firm date and time, but he just told me not to bother him about it, he's tired, etc. I broke up with him through text after I hung up. That was two weeks ago. I felt sad every day since then, I cry on and off all day and night and sometimes feel that my life is meaningless. But some days i feel fine.

I care deeply for him. We met up last week, and I pretended that I was normal and told him that we can be friends. Last night, I texted him whether I can drop by his place at night (he lives a 5min walk away) and talk. He told me not to. I guess he was right, cuz I just wanted to see him and see how he's doing. Like he isn't a bad person and I learned to be a better person because of him. I just feel that he didn't treat me right, especially in the last months. Maybe he just doesn't love me as much. But I had grown to care for him and think of him everyday during our 1.5yrs together. I think of him constantly and I get teary and cry all the time now.

I want to tell him why I broke up with him and ask why he agreed (we never had a conversation about this). I want to see how he's doing. I want to tell him that of he just changed how he treats me I would stay with him. I think all this time, I've just been wishing that he would change for me since I knew that him as himself is not who I want (am I confusing you? Lol). He doesn't contact me now unless its about his business or unless I texted him first. What should I do?

Katherine

May 20, 2012 @ (plainview)

Tags: ex 2

so me and kyle he says everything is fine but last week i called him crying saying how i cant do it if he was gunna leave and ignore me and he cried to saying how he wasnt. but now i feel like when he goes out and gets fucked up i feel he hooks up with girls. but idk ... and today i saw him and he was so cranky but hopefully later and this week it will all be okay and well be together idk

Anonymous

May 20, 2012 @ (FL)

Tags: die, dying, abortion

I dated a girl name Alyssa for 2 years and about 5 months. We moved to attend grad school in a new city so I spent every hour of fall 2010 either studying or with her, so I had no friends nearby. We had had some rocky times because I did study abroad and was entering law school, but basically she didn't trust me and I didn't communicate how much I loved her. It was fine to break up over that, but the way she did it was unacceptable.

One night she kept talking about her friend Karen, but it was really really suspicious how nervous she was and for some reason 2 girls drinking a whole bottle of whiskey in a night seemed like a stretch. So I look at her facebook page from that night "Great night with KC and AC" KC was Karen, AC I quickly figured out was Anthony something. I confront her and she breaks up with me. We exchange our things about 5 days later and she tells me she has already gone on 2 dates with him. We talk one more time and she tells me not to call unless there is an emergency.

About 2 days later I destroy my knee playing soccer. Tear all 4 main ligaments, other smaller ligaments and tendon, smash nerves, etc. My knee stayed out of the socket. A major risk of this is that you can cut off the circulation and/or sever the vein in your leg which can cause you to die or have your leg amputated. Surgeon comes in and tells me I have about a 40% chance of dying within the next 48 hours. So I call Alyssa because I could be dying, I think that qualifies as an emergency. Goes to voicemail. I text her asking just to talk over the phone since I know no one at school since I spent all my free time with her first semester. No response text at first then she said "I won't talk to you. Have your mom call me tomorrow when she gets in from her emergency flight." So I was left in the hospital to die alone by her.

It gets better... A couple of weeks later I am just at rock bottom. On pain medicine (I didn't walk for about 2 or 3 months the injury was so bad). I called her angry and she told me that she was pregnant. The guy she ran off on from me Anthony whatever had knocked her up. So she aborted it.

When someone is potentially dying in the hospital and has no one there and they request you to call just for an hour to talk it takes a pretty selfish person to refuse. I think most people would (and for that matter should) drive to the hospital to keep someone company until their family arrives.

Long story short, it takes a pretty selfish immature cold hearted person to leave someone in the hospital to die and then to abort their kid.

VM

May 16, 2012 @ (Earth)

Tags: sighs

So me and this girl had dated for about 7 months. The first 5 months was perfect, we were in the honeymoon stage and it was full of love. About 2 months ago, she has this personal problem that she couldnt tell me but I can see a big shift in the relationship. She told me that this personal problem has caused an effect in our relationship and there wasnt anything I she and I can do about it. Things went down hill from here because shes become more snappy. We got into this one petty fight and I walked away because it wasnt necessary. She then later on said something that really got to me, she said that I have no urge to fight and that makes her lose interests and she think she can walk all over me. Maybe its the age difference, im 29 and shes 22 but I dont like fighting over small things especially I already accepted the fact that she is high temper issue. But after this incident, I started having dilemmas with my actions, always questioning whether I'm being too nice or maybe I should be mean. This causes big time withdrawal and I feel like I can't be myself around her most of the time. Since Valentine, we stopped having sex because she has this health issue (i know it wasnt an excuse cuz she has many doctor visits). And then comes the personal problems, she stopped making time for me but rather stay busy with work, school and her friends. A kiss becomes a peck on the lips, holding hands become very vague. The only thing I feel like we truly still had was we still called each other sweet names and quick kisses here and there. I tried to understand and deal with it because I respect her space/time to deal with personal problems. It wasnt easy but I had friends to talk to and helped me through it. About a week ago, we took off on a cruise and the entire time I had to play the "careless attitude" game and to her, I came off as blunt and rude. So be it but I didnt have any more rooms to suppress my feelings about the situation. Then on the way home from the cruise, my ex started venting about her relationship to me (note that she does talked to her ex and whenever my ex contacted me before I always let her know and she said she doesnt care, we have that trust) so I was in a venting mode and vented back. After a few texts, I realized this is wrong because my ex started to tell me if this girl doesnt treat you right then leave her. That doesnt help me, I felt like my ex was trashing on my relationship so I stopped and deleted the thread. My current girlfriend saw that i was texting the ex and later checked my phone but only saw the last part of the message (which said my bf stopped talking to me and walked out of the room, she was venting). To her, this is a dishonest act that I deleted the message, she thinks I have something to hide and she said she lost complete trust in me. I understand where she comes from but I really was deleting the message out of my own guilt and not hiding anything but she doesnt believe me. She said that she has major trust issue and to others this may not be a big deal but to her its a huge deal. I asked her how she felt about us, she said that she doesnt think I can ever cheat on her and that Im the best guy shes ever dated (she dated many guys before but they were all the assholes type so I spent most of my time to show her that good guy does existed and always go out of my way to make her happy) but she cannot trust me after what happened even if she forgives me and broke up the relationship. Ive asked all my friends and they said it was a harsh decision but I need opinions from someone that doesn't know me so please help. I also know that what I did was wrong and I wrote her an apology letter to own all the faults I created but it didnt seem to affect her decision. I just feel very shattered because I spent the past few months to build this relationship and it is now broken over an honest mistake, and accident that I didnt think what i was doing was being dishonest.

Laura

May 12, 2012 @ (Indiana)

Tags: Never want to talk again, Friends

So, after almost two years of a relationship, my ex never wants to speak to me again. Weeks before we broke up I'd called out his 'friend' on being a sexist asshole after he said straight to my face that girls sucked at gaming. His friend had been verbally abusive to not just me but everyone at the school and when I stood up for myself it wasn't just for me. After this I received an offensive message calling me a "disgusting, degrading, attention whore that does anything to get attention and when you don't get it you whine and bitch". Upon showing this message to my boyfriend he felt like I should apologize to him for calling him a sexist asshole. Overall my boyfriend wanted nothing to do with the situation and didn't even try to defend me. I was tired of how he treated me. The first year we started dating everything was perfect but when year two I was basically abandoned and taken for granted but I still tried to keep the situation together and make him happy. This was the final straw. Now people keep coming to me and telling me hes been having sex with or trying to have sex with a girl from our school right after we broke up. I feel disgusted I had anything to do with him.

A

May 06, 2012 @ (california)

Tags: first, break, up

I started dating later in life, so he was my first--and this is my first break up.

We moved in together less than 6 months after our first date. We stayed together for a little under 2 years, but things started getting rocky half way through. I was feeling unsatisfied. I wanted it to work, and i would try communicating to him what I wanted. But for some reason we just weren't on the same page. By the end both of us were feeling worn out and unloved.

I was the one who initiated the idea of splitting. Maybe, immaturely on my part, I was thinking that it would spark something and we'd think, "no, I don't want to lose this person", and we'd try some other way to reach each other. But by then we didn't even know how to have that dialogue. It took me a couple of months to actually move out, but after some emotional drama, in the end he was the one wanting me to leave.

It's been about a month now and I can't stop feeling as though we failed, as though something died. And instead of just leaving it be and moving on, I keep feeling like we could have done so much better. I feel like the situation has brought me perspective, and a new sense of awareness of what it really means to be in a relationship with someone. But apparently it's too late. He says he's too tired, that he needs time to himself.

I could understand taking some time to ground ourselves, so reassess the situation. But in my mind I'm daydreaming about us connecting again like we did in the beginning, with excitement and a sense of adventure. In my mind, the second time around would be more wise, more mature. We'd have a better sense of how to approach it.

But he doesn't even want to entertain the idea, I guess. Embarrassingly, he doesn't even want to take my calls. I keep wanting things from him that he doesn't want to give. It hurts me, and on top of that I feel like such an idiot for trying still.

But I don't know how to let go, you know? I don't know how to not remember all the things about him and our past relationship without missing him.

I guess I'm not even sure if it's him I want. Maybe I am just craving a fulfilling relationship in general, and I keep trying to make him fit into that when he's obviously not the one for me.

It's still so hard to not get all emotional. I can go a couple of weeks without contacting him, but then it's like I can't stand it anymore and I just want to hear his voice. ]:

Pathetic, I know.

Naomi

May 05, 2012 @ (New Jersey)

Tags: i am so sorry, i miss you, you are not the one, you deserve better

I have known Hector for all of my high school years, we were really close and we had a blast together. In our senior year we decided to date. It was fun, he was funny, romantic, sweet but I always felt that is wasn't right. We then dated for almost a year and a half, now we were both in seperate colleges. He said I was his soulmate and he loved me so much, but during our whole relationship I was distant romantically but we still had fun together. Then I put more thought in it and I realized he loved me more than I loved him. I loved him but not in the "right way", I cared of him but really I wanted my best friend back without the romantic stuff. I decided he deserved better in love, someone who could reciprocate his feelings. He did everything right but I just never truly loved him. I wasnt ready to love him, and the day I broke up with him I cried; he cried and begged for me back. I know I am doing this so he can get the best out of life, I realized I could no longer be selfish and reap the benefits of being in a relationship when I didnt love him. So now as I write this, I am getting ready to visit him; it is a couple weeks after our break up, and I need to return some of his stuff and I dont know what is going to happen. No matter how much fun we had I could no longer go back to him. I am actually really childish but this is the maturest decision I think I have ever made but it just feels so hard. I lost my best friend, I will no longer hear about his life and it is really hard. But I know someone will love him completely and eternally. But in the back of my head I dont think I would find someone who loves me as much....

Bella

April 27, 2012 @ (new york)

Tags: breakup

We met back in high school, good friends I can say. Yes I was attracted to him but never paid attention to that. he's older so he graduated before I did and we lost contact. 3 years later I randomly thought of him and look him up on Facebook. We exchange numbers and make plans to hang out. We hung out a few times just as friends,it was great I had a blast with him. We spent every night together just hanging out for about a month then he invites me to his place and, we hook up. He admits to me he had a thing for me back in high school too. We start seeing each other and after awhile we discuss ”us” and we agree to take things to the next level later on cause we're not ready. I loved everything about being with him, everything. We often had fights but that never really effected us. The situation at home took a turn for the worse when I had to make the decision of moving out of state, rather far. I try to find an alternate solution before breaking it to him but no luck. I break the news to him - I'd never seen him so angry. Not the reaction I was expecting. Everything went downhill from there. I wasn't suppose to leave for another 2 months though but we started to drift before that. I start seeing someone else - rebound I guess, I was both hurt and angry at him. He cuts me off when he finds out about it. It turns out Im staying and not moving out of state, still moving from that town though. I was over him, I thought. All my things are packed, half of my furniture is out. He lives maybe 10 blocks from me, 3 minute drive. I feel so guilty about the way things ended so I get in contact with him and ask him to see me. It took some convincing but he agreed to see me that night. He picks me up, the car ride is silent until I b lurt out how sorry I am. We never officially ended what we had, so when I got with this new guy, he was under the impression that we were still together and that's why he cut off - a total misunderstanding. That evening/morning was amazing. I thought everything would go back to normal, maybe even better than before. He drops me off in the morning, says he can see himself falling in love with me and that even when I was with that other guy I was still his girl and all this other bullshit. I go to bed, and wake up to his texts. We talk all day and all night. But that's the last day I saw him. The Next day he doesn't reply to anything I send him. Days go by, and still nothing. I was so utterly confused and hurt. I resort to Facebook I finally get a reply and all he says is ” what do you want?” I get the hint, just don't understand why. But okay, whatever.
It never occurred to me that I didn't mention to him that I wasn't moving out of state.
Months go by. I'm with other men but none of them phase me - the way he did. I get in contact with him and we end up having a very casual conversation. At the very least I thought we could keep our friendship but again, cuts me off. Wtf!
Here I am a year later, still thinking about him. I can't have a successful relationship because I still have some very strong feelings for him.
All my friends tell me to let it go... How many times have I tried that already? It seems impossible. It's not that I want to be with him, I just want an explanation so I can sleep at night.
If I had the opportunity to talk to him, do you think I should? I wouldn't know what to say or how to say it. I don't know how he'd react to me..

Payuyi

April 19, 2012 @ (new york)

Tags: sad

We were eachothers first love, everything was soo perfect untill one day when we got in a fight because he said he was going on a date with a girl, of course i got mad and told him not to talk to me anymore then he told me that i was going to be that date and i apologized but i guess it was too late by now he told me that it was best if we broke up because i jump to conclusions and the distance. The next day we got back together but then for a month and about 2 weeks things werent the same anymore we were on and off, i kept leaving him because he wasnt sweet and i just felt unapreciated all the time but my love for him was so strong that i kept beggin him to come back and he did but each time it was getting harder and harder. I did tell him how he made me feel and he said he was 'trying' but it didnt feel like it.
He really hates my Bff and one day when i was feeling really bad and unapreciated i told my bestfriend to say he was in love with me, he got mad and started hating him even more, at first i was a little happy knowing he cared, thats all i ever wanted him to care for me and love me as much as i love him.
One day after our last breakup we were talking and then i got confused with somthing he said and i thought he said my bff told him everything, *by this time me and my bff got in a fight so i thought he was trying to get back at me* so i explained to him y i told my bff to say that , i told him i just wanted him to care but he just got really mad and acted like he hated me, i know that was a really bad idea and i regret doing that.. he told me to hurt my bff and i said ok i was *i wasnt tho* and i told him how i felt, that i loved him and that i just want him to be sweet again but all he kept saying was 'ok' to my long messages.. he has my fB info and he read a conversation with another friend where i said me and my bff made up, he sent me a message telling me he never felt this used before and that i lied to him all the times when i said i loved him.
i told him he had no right to get upset becasue he wanted me to screw off and that i did love him
thn i told him that i was really sorry and that i was always gonna love him and that i was gonna leave him alone now.
Well i ended my friendship with my bff cuz i knew that was wat he wanted even tho it wasnt gonna change anything between us, i havent been on fB at all in 2 weeks.. ive been trying to get over him thats why i havent been on but part of me says maybe he realized how important you are to him this time you were gone. Im really scared of loggin in Fb because wat if he already has another girl i dnt wanna see that and get hurt and wat if when i log in i find a message saying he wants me back and now everything will change to the way it was , wat if all we needed was a lil break
idk im just stuck i have hope that everything will go back to how it was before but at the same time im scared of finding out somthing i dnt wanna know
*i dnt have him as a friend on fb anymore but i cn still see his picture cuz he was the last message*
i want to move on but its soo hard idk wat to do.. any advise? :/