VM

May 16, 2012 @ (Earth)

Tags: sighs


So me and this girl had dated for about 7 months. The first 5 months was perfect, we were in the honeymoon stage and it was full of love. About 2 months ago, she has this personal problem that she couldnt tell me but I can see a big shift in the relationship. She told me that this personal problem has caused an effect in our relationship and there wasnt anything I she and I can do about it. Things went down hill from here because shes become more snappy. We got into this one petty fight and I walked away because it wasnt necessary. She then later on said something that really got to me, she said that I have no urge to fight and that makes her lose interests and she think she can walk all over me. Maybe its the age difference, im 29 and shes 22 but I dont like fighting over small things especially I already accepted the fact that she is high temper issue. But after this incident, I started having dilemmas with my actions, always questioning whether I'm being too nice or maybe I should be mean. This causes big time withdrawal and I feel like I can't be myself around her most of the time. Since Valentine, we stopped having sex because she has this health issue (i know it wasnt an excuse cuz she has many doctor visits). And then comes the personal problems, she stopped making time for me but rather stay busy with work, school and her friends. A kiss becomes a peck on the lips, holding hands become very vague. The only thing I feel like we truly still had was we still called each other sweet names and quick kisses here and there. I tried to understand and deal with it because I respect her space/time to deal with personal problems. It wasnt easy but I had friends to talk to and helped me through it. About a week ago, we took off on a cruise and the entire time I had to play the "careless attitude" game and to her, I came off as blunt and rude. So be it but I didnt have any more rooms to suppress my feelings about the situation. Then on the way home from the cruise, my ex started venting about her relationship to me (note that she does talked to her ex and whenever my ex contacted me before I always let her know and she said she doesnt care, we have that trust) so I was in a venting mode and vented back. After a few texts, I realized this is wrong because my ex started to tell me if this girl doesnt treat you right then leave her. That doesnt help me, I felt like my ex was trashing on my relationship so I stopped and deleted the thread. My current girlfriend saw that i was texting the ex and later checked my phone but only saw the last part of the message (which said my bf stopped talking to me and walked out of the room, she was venting). To her, this is a dishonest act that I deleted the message, she thinks I have something to hide and she said she lost complete trust in me. I understand where she comes from but I really was deleting the message out of my own guilt and not hiding anything but she doesnt believe me. She said that she has major trust issue and to others this may not be a big deal but to her its a huge deal. I asked her how she felt about us, she said that she doesnt think I can ever cheat on her and that Im the best guy shes ever dated (she dated many guys before but they were all the assholes type so I spent most of my time to show her that good guy does existed and always go out of my way to make her happy) but she cannot trust me after what happened even if she forgives me and broke up the relationship. Ive asked all my friends and they said it was a harsh decision but I need opinions from someone that doesn't know me so please help. I also know that what I did was wrong and I wrote her an apology letter to own all the faults I created but it didnt seem to affect her decision. I just feel very shattered because I spent the past few months to build this relationship and it is now broken over an honest mistake, and accident that I didnt think what i was doing was being dishonest.


       


 

Comment on this breakup






mike

May 22, 2012


I was married for over ten years and my ex did the same to me! There is nothing you can do or even should do. It sounds as if she was tring to change you. No you should change for anybody. You like the way they are in the beginning and after a few months you learn about the shit that you don't like. That is called dating; what you are realy tring to do is find the person that you like and the shit is small enough it does not consume the back yard. (without asking them to change) Then the best thing you can do is hope they feel the same way. The fastest end to a relationship is the change in your self.


     


John L.

May 19, 2012


Ok number one read my story under browse and then popular. Girls say all the bs about how they want the nice guy but in truth they don't. They want a guy who can be full of himself and yet nice at the same time. I was perfect to a girl even when she cheated on me. I wanted to chew her out but I was hurt so bad I was in shock. If she cant trust you after you did the right thing then it means her interest lvl in you has gone below what she wants and is nearly impossible to get back up. Trust me I have done the research. All you can do is move on and it hurts like hell. I have been single for nerly 2 years bec of my ex. In that time I changed and to be honest not really for the better. Im not passive anymore and I dont let people use me. Here is how a friend of mine said it and its the best example I have ever heard. If your playing a card game and you always win will you keep playing? the answer is no. Even though its so screwed up we as people but mainly girls love the chase. I am 25 and I am more mature than any person I have ever met. Bec of that I have never fit in with my age group so in that regard your probably like me. She also lacks the maturity you do bec you see the big pic not just whats in front of you.