Searching for "sorr"

131 Results For 'sorr'

Enamiran

September 05, 2014 @ (algeria)

Tags: sad

i met him 4years ago ,i was playing second life n i wanted to hear music,i dnt really remmeber wat i typed in google searching for music but the download ended up with a window of strangers talking to me,it is imesh,many ppl from all around th word,i added many frens,from every country a fren,n i added him as well,i didnt imagine that i would b with him but we started talking and we really enjyed talking to eatchother,like to th point when i go back from uni th first thing i do is open my pc n chat with him,n i find him always waiting,2months mater we told each other we like eatchother n that time we just seen eatchother in pic ,he was far away from me,we both liked th idea of having a foreign love,we loved eatch other,my familly knew they convince me to step away,n i steped away alitle,i made my self bz,coz it sounded impossible to meet n have a futur toguether,at first i used to fight with him alot,it was fun no hurts,but just arguing with him was fun,he was so calm understanding kind innocent n sinceer(in my toughts) n after every fight he used to tell me how much he loves me n he cant live without me,he always appologyzed even sometimes for meaningless things,i guess i had a kid mind that time :/, anyway, 2years past n we still in love we use evry possible way to contact fb yahoo skype watssapp,later in a day i was too bz with studdy,to th point i guess my feeling were colden,i was talking to him in video n i told him"i think i dnt love u"!! (stupid me) he cried in that moment,i said im sorry,it's ok myb it's just im bz n my mind is not clair,we can try over toguether i can get back my feelings,6months later,a girl talked to him she said she liked him n he talked to her,she was from his country but not very pretty,he hided that on me for a month ,then he tod me i hide it bcoz i know u ll b mad!,i said ok no problem,i enter his fb ,but he changed his password (he gave it to me b4) i ask him when we skype he liyed on th date of changing th fb password to let me think it was b4 he met th other girl,i knew he was lying by th fb notice" u have changed ur fb passeword on...." i got angry n i cut th call i his face,after that he run to her love ,he shut me off for 3days,colden his feelings,n he talked to her instead,i got afraid to lose him n to lose my self in my exams period so i ask him to try again another chance,we back,but since then he act cold with me whenevr we fight,he understood that he could not lose me ( i my self dnt know if he will lose me one day ) n since then he is th 1 who colden his feelings in our breakups n im th one who get depressed n feel like "omg ,he forgot my love,im meaninglesto him"i dnt wat exactly to do to know my value to him,breakup doent give a clue anymore(knowning that th longest breakup we had was for a weak!!)

I Hated This.

August 25, 2014 @ (Mishawaka)

Tags: bad breakup, sad breakup, middle school dating

Here's to make it easier. Guy will be "A" because that's what his name starts with. "T" for friend number one. "E" for friend number two. "L" for supposedly friend. "V" for really good friend. "S" for other really good friend. Hope it's somewhat easy to understand.

Okay, so, it was April 12 and I was with T. It was T's little cousin's birthday party. That's when A asked me out. It was 12:56 am. We were all in a hotel. Me, T, E, and T's little cousin and aunt. A was texting me and he asked me out. I felt really bad because I was lying to my parents. I wasn't supposed to date. Nineteen hours later, I broke up with him. This is barely the start of this. The next day at school, L said it looked like A was about to cry. At the time, L was dating somebody. So, I got really upset and felt really bad. I cried for like an hour. It was really bad. Makeup was running down my face and everything. I kept blaming everything on me. It didn't help because just when I thought I was going to stop crying before passing periods, I cried right when I got into fourth hour. The hour I had with A. I took one look at him and I just hugged my friend and just cried onto her shoulder. Everybody was asking if I was okay. Thanks for sympathy but I don't want everybody worrying about me. So, then I went down to guidance and talked about it. When I got back, he kept looking at me. I knew he was, and I didn't even have to look at him. He texted me after school. He wanted me to talk to him. I felt bad because I knew that I had to have hurt his feelings. He said he didn't hate me. He said he could never hate me. Two weeks later to April 25. We started dating again. He said that I was his background and so much cute stuff and honestly I didn't know he could be heartless. But, I found out that he could. It was sometime in May and I broke up with him. One, because he liked my friend and my friend liked him back. That same day I broke up with him, he went out with L. Who does that? So, I told him not to talk to me at school or anything. So neither of them did. For a week until they asked if I was still mad at them. Um, yes. So I texted him and asked him what he wanted to talk to me about. He said he wanted us all to be friends again and I said I wasn't friend's with either of them. So, then the next day he told my friend that he could care less about me. I texted him and said, "This is exactly why I said I didn't want to be friends with you again." He told me to stop texting him then. I cussed at him and I just basically yelled at him over text. His reply, and yes I barely did anything but stick up for myself and he said, "Good, now go die in a hole now and stop f*cking texting me." I lost it. I was crying and crying. The next day, I was trying to read the messages to V and S and right when I got to that text, I started crying. I couldn't even read it. It was so hard to focus. And still, he said he didn't care if I died. He meant everything he said to me, and that he wouldn't take any of it back. After like a month maybe, he decided to apologize. Like, I'm sorry, but it's a little late. To this day, I still do not talk to him.

Mai

August 10, 2014 @ (Philippines)

Tags: breakup woes, break up

My ex and I met at WeChat. I'm 10 years older than him and he had a daughter from a previous relationship. I'm generally generous (money, time, resources) with boyfriends and he was not an excemption. The relatinship was ok at first but during the last month of our 6 moths relationship, his behavior became erratic. I was hospitalized for 5 days for gastro and he was just contented to call and check on me. Citing his duty in the military prevents him so. Then when I had to go home to the province, he suddenly had this urge to go to his province eventhough this was affected by a super storm. I had sensed that he took someone with him there.First day of the month he didn't call or text. This made me worry since he never in our 6 months together forget to call or text me. I had to calling his friend. When he did finally receive my call, he didn't speak and and I was just left hanging. I told his friend that probably we are breaking up. He called after my call to his friends, asking for a "cool off" to think things over. He loves me but he also loves her daughter. Since for his daughter, he also needs to love the mother (his ex). So I gave him time. He called after 5 days and it was a cold , short call asking how am I. After 3 days, it was my time to call him and asked if he wants more time. He was grumpy, saying he's sick. Being the ever attentive gf, I asked him if he has medicine and, if he is eating the right food and if he's in Manila already. Being grumpy, he said something like I don't need to take care of him and cut off the line. Thinking it was a bad reception, I called and he kept cutting it. I called his friend and my ex answered, yelling that I am stubborn and dont call him anymore. A few minutes, he texted he can't come back, he's sorry, i shouldn't think about him and he can take care of himself.

until now, i kept wondering: " why didn't he just say he doesnt love and need me anymore instead of using his daughter as alibi?"

Henry Lee

August 10, 2014 @ (Singapore )

Tags: Bad break up nasty person

I meet my first serious gf at uni thru mutual friends. We really clicked and we dated and became a couple about 3 months later. She told me her last serious relationship was 2 years ago. Then 5 months after we first met, she told me that she had broken up with someone 4 weeks before she met me. And that she needed space of course. To cut a long story short , she broke up with me soon after. I was heart broken feeling sad and also very angry . I felt she tricked me into investing emotionally into her. I loved her and thought she could be my wife .
I went no contact to heal . The first few months were bad . Insomnia, severe low mood . I wept and cried daily . After 4 months, I began to feel better. Then our mutual friends started telling my ex was sorry she lied and then told me the truth later and yada yada. I wanted so much to ask why tell me the truth 5 months into dating if she was sure of her feelings? But I thought nay forget it she does not even have the courage to speak to me in person. So I told our mutual friends not to relay messages for her. When I began dating again 8 months later , my ex gf tried to speak to me. I shut her down completely . Then she stared rumours . I met my next gf and future wife 18 months after the breakup.

Diana

July 13, 2014 @ (where I belong)

Tags: bad breakup

Well, I'm with this guy since October last year. Our relationship was good. He was so caring and sweet to me. Like ohh he knew how to make me feel comfortable. I was really loved him. Till in February when he was sleeping beside me, I took his phone and there is a messages from other chick. He's such flirty with that girl. I never imagined he would cheat on me. Next day I told him about this and he admitted it and sorry to me. Ok, I was forgiving him. Our relationship was good again. And on April he's moved to another city. He promised to always call me and never ignore me. But, a liar is a liar. He never call me or text me. Everytime I calls/texts him he never reply. And then I went to twitter and I caught him had a conversation with different girl. I shocked and I was crying every night, I couldn't sleep cause I can't stop thinking about him. I was confused with this relationship. I talked with alot of people about this and they were giving me some advice and the last was always "break him up" . After I'm sure with this, I was breaking up with him by the phone cause there's no way to go to his current city and he was fine with it. And till now I'm still trying to move on from him, and yesterday he textd me and he want me to get back with him again. He told me her new girl cheated on him. And... oh my bad, I was evil laughs plus I think I'm fall in love with him again. So I was crying at that time, I'm sooooo confused. I talked about it to my best friend, and she said "he will hurt you again" . And until now I keep ignoring his text and never answer his call. But now I'm afraid to start a relationship again. Because of him I have a trauma. And now I think all of the boys are the same.

Michael

July 03, 2014 @ (New York City)

Tags: #BadBreakup, #ToxicRelationship, #BipolarDisorder, #Crazypeople

I met my ex-girlfriend on an online dating website and things got serious pretty quickly. She had bipolar disorder but was not getting treated. She lived with her parents and had a rocky relationship with her domineering and controlling mother. I always got the impression that her parents viewed my ex-girlfriend as a disappointment in comparison to her two older sisters who were both married with their own families. It seemed like her parents were happy with just about anybody who take my ex-girlfriend off her hands.

Initially I got along with her parents. I attended family gatherings, holidays and even went on a vacation with them. Over time, however, things changed. It started during a dinner we had with her parents. Her mother had a habit of scolding my ex-girlfriend about seemingly petty things. Even though it was an awkward situation that was uncomfortable, her mother was very unapologetic and instead got upset at me for not talking.

After two years together, we started to run into some problems. My ex-girlfriend was pressuring me into getting engaged, mainly so she could get my health insurance and get treated for her bipolar disorder. She even talked about eloping first so she didnâ€™t have to wait to claim my insurance. I started to feel that the relationship was a little one-sided. We practically spent all of our free time together and I was bothered she never showed much interest in any of my hobbies and was always very vocal about how stupid they were. Another problem were her mood swings which often lead to arguments, which occasionally took place in public places.

After we broke up, I went out on my own while my ex-girlfriend immediately jumped into another relationship. Also during that time, her parents sort of relented and allowed her to get treated for her bipolar disorder. After a few months, we both realized that we still had feelings for each other and decided to get back together, promising that things would be different.

At first not everyone was excited that we were back together, mainly her parents. They were upset because they believed her new boyfriend wouldâ€™ve eventually married her and because they believed I had caused my ex-girlfriendâ€™s mood swings. My ex-girlfriendâ€™s mother was upset at me over an incident that happened a year ago that never occurred. Even though my ex-girlfriend believed her, I was suspicious of her mother.

Initially everything seemed to be going great. The relationship was a lot more balanced and because my ex-girlfriend was taking medication she wasnâ€™t getting those mood swings that plagued us last time. Around the holidays, things started to turn. I was driving my ex-girlfriend to the airport and my car got a flat tire. As I pulled into the gas station, she started screaming at me, like she did before she was taking her medication. It was so bad that the attendants felt sorry for me and gave me the replacement tire for free. Even though my ex-girlfriend wrote off the incident as holiday-related stress, it was the first indication that something wasnâ€™t right.

Over the next month, my ex-girlfriend continued to act erratically and decided to break up with me on Valentineâ€™s Day, only to change her mind the following day and the same pattern would occur every few weeks. Also during that time, my ex-girlfriend discovered that her mother had tricked her into not taking her bipolar medication and had told her doctor that she no longer needed them causing her doctor to believe she was misdiagnosed.

Eventually, my ex-girlfriendâ€™s mother began to act even more coldly towards me. During an argument over the phone, I overheard her mother screaming in background and demanded that she break up with me and get it over with. Every time I saw her mother, I tried to be friendly or polite to her but she either scowl at me or storm out of the room. She continued to badmouth me and even made bizarre accusations about me. She claimed that I wasnâ€™t serious about getting married and claimed that I was gay. She even told family members that she didnâ€™t think that I was a nice person.

By the spring, my ex-girlfriendâ€™s mood swings started to get worse. One night, my ex-girlfriend had too much to drink and she started grinding against me at a restaurant. After I quietly pushed her off of me and told her to stop, she started screaming at me and eventually pushed me out the door. When I returned, she continued to scream at me and had to be told to leave by the manager.

On the way home, I told her we were finished but she wanted to talk. She asked for another chance and promised to stop drinking. When I wouldnâ€™t reconsider, she got upset demanded that I get out of her car and kicked me in my ribs and threw a half empty wine bottle out the window. The following day, she changed her mind and tried to convince me to give her another chance. After she got her friends to contact me, I felt like I had no choice but to give in.

In the following weeks. My ex-girlfriendâ€™s mood swings got worse and she even got pushy and demanding. When I tried breaking up with her again, she again forced me to reconsider and sometimes held me hostage in her house until I reconsidered. Personally I felt trapped. When my ex-girlfriend and I got back together, this was not what I had envisioned. Now I felt depressed and noticed that I had gained weight.

I decided that I needed an outlet for my feelings and decided to sign up for an obstacle course race. My ex-girlfriend immediately thought it was a dumb idea and was upset that I ask her permission. She also hated that I joined a Sunday softball league with a friend, even though she worked on that day. She always expected me to stay home and meet with her after she got off of work.

The night before the race, my ex-girlfriend decided to rehash an old argument about how she felt that I wasnâ€™t committed to her and believed her mother was about me. The argument continued as I was driving her home and when I tried to break up with her again, she lost her temper and started hitting me over the head with a book as I was driving. Afterwards, I was forced to change my mind after she refused to leave my car. The following week, I finally broke up with my ex-girlfriend after I cancelled my plans with her and she furiously berated me on the phone. Unlike last summer, this was for good.

In the months that followed, my ex-girlfriend continued to try to contact me.
Sometimes she scolded me for breaking up with her and occasionally she begged for another chance. She even would scream at remaining mutual friends when they wouldnâ€™t tell her any information they had on me. I also learned that she was in a serious car accident that some of her friends believe might been a suicide attempt. Eventually, she stopped trying to contact me and I learned that she had started dating another guy and was once again taking bipolar medication.

As for me, I rediscovered how to have fun again. I made a lot of new friends on the softball team I joined that summer. It helped that we won the championship and I ended up making the game winning catch. I also lost 50 pounds and have since competed in 3 more obstacle course races. I even started dating again and am currently in the early stages of a new relationship. Itâ€™s been fun and I can't remember the last time I felt this happy or excited about my life.

Nessa

June 20, 2014 @ (philly)

Tags: bad breakup

I have had the same boyfriend for five years I left him for three months because I needed a break to focus on school.
He would hit me up everyday begging for me to take him back and he was sorry for treating me badly. After three months I gave in and took him back. Everything was going well until I found out he was talking to someone else which I didnt mind we werent together and he said that he didnt tell her we were back together and he would end it now. I trusted him and he claimed he ended it. It never ended comes to show that he was in a realtionship with her a month before we got back together he fought for her and denied me. He said hes been single the past five years, I am crazy, He doesn't want me, that i ruined his life and all these things to everyone. He actually denied me when I gave him everything I had I sacrificed so much for him career wise, school wise, family wise, and he broke my heart. He denies it all still but still reaches out to me and says hes sorry and claims he is alone. The girl told me stop trying to steal her man and posts pictures of them everyday I HATE HIM he blaimed me for everything he claimed if i never left him this wouldnt have happened to begin with what hurts the most is he was the one i planned to do everything with and the girl claims i was stilling her man they only been together two months and he takes her to family functions and i feel like i lost out he calls me still and as much as i want to tell the other girl look what ur man is doing cuz she boast to everyone he chose her n he is living with her after a month n he denies it all when there are piks everywhere and my name is destroyed now and my reputation i never deserved that I stopped answering him and deleted him everywhere but keeps claiming he needs me he is alone suffering but is in a relationship with her I just want to feel better I cant believe he would deny me :'(he told her he was living with his mom when he has his own place and because of me she found out about his place and he started to take her there he just replaced me n the girl flaunts it every chance she getshe hit me abused me verbally emotionally he cheated on me so I left him he keeps trying to hit me up but is still with the girl he cheated on me with I don't want him but she's insecure cuz he still wants me n suck of her so she keeps harassing me in every possible way I blocked her everywhere but she found old sexts ok his phone n saying she gonna use them against me how do I cope I've prayed n prayed my heart is so heavy

Henry

March 28, 2014 @ (Kerman, CA)

Tags: Bad break up

So I'm a guy, and I was in a gay relationship for 1 year and 8 months. It was like the perfect relationship, and I was so in love. It was my first time in a relationship and it started May of 2012 up until now. There were never really any signs that their was something wrong with us. We were always happy and loving to each other. When he moved to another state communication was hard. It was Arkansas, and I was in California. He was planning on staying over there and not coming back, but he only stayed there for only about a month because he feel into a depression and came back to be with me. We were good up until there was problems with his family and him, this was in December 2013. One day he took me to the place where we first fell for each other and told me he's going to have to move back to Arkansas because he can't take the drama here. I was sad knowing he was going to leave back again. Then when the day came on January 3 2014, he was packing all his stuff and was getting ready to leave. I told him to be with me in his room alone, and surprised him with a new cell phone so we could contact each other. He cried a lot and said thank you so much, you know my family would've never done this for me. The he hugged me for a long time crying. When he left i felt depressed, knowing he might just stay over there this time. A month later he facetimed me for the first time and we where so happy to see each other, we would text each other through facebook daily and that kept my calm. A week before valentines day i sent him a card that I personally made with all are pictures on it... Then he called two days later like normally but I screwed up the conversation. I got awkward about a topic and I wasn't talking the whole time on the phone. Then he suddenly hung up. I called him back and told him, you hung up.. And he said, yeah I did.. I said, are you made at me.. He said well what do u think, you know I hate it when you don't say anything on the phone.. So I asked, do u still want to talk to me?.. He said, not really.. I said, ok I'm sorry i really am.. He said, it's ok I'm over it already.. I'll talk to you tomorrow. The next day I got a msg from him.. It hurt me. He said, ok, yesterday u left me thinking on how long Ive been without you and managed to be fine. So I'm sorry, I don't love you anymore and before you start with that no i can do better stuff just think and be an adult. Your a great guy with a lot of love and the person who loves u is lucky, but I don't love u. I have to put my own goals first. So yeah I guess this is goodbye. It's over. I was so sad and couldn't think right.. I was left with no talk from him in a few days, we talked but it was nothing like we would normally talk to each other.. Then a week passed with no talking, and then yesterday the 27 of February, his best friend from here came to my house to facetime him, I let them talk by themselves but I called his friend over to talk to me real quick. I told here to put the earphones on but don't plug them in.. He told her to put in earphones so nobody would hear what he was about to say. So she put them on but didn't plug them in and I was secretly on the side of her, but he didn't know. He said to her through facetime, ok, I don't have a lot of time but that guy me and josh we broke up. He was pulling that whole act that Henry did and i was like been there done that, I don't know what we are, I think we're just friends but now I'll stick to school I guess. But when I'm 18, I'll try a few dates every now and then....... After I heard that whole thing I was heart broken. To know that he dated someone 3 days after we broke up made me feel like shit, I felt like I didn't matter i felt like I was nothing. How can u go into a relationship real quick after breaking up a almost 2 year relationship.. I doesn't make sense, his friend told him a heard everything and he was like in shock because he didn't want me to know. I talked to him later that day just us two. I asked him if that whole time that we facetimed and before when he was crying and about to move.. If he still loved? me that whole time. He said no, he had no feelings for me and he was just being nice and didn't know how to break it to me. So we just ended it for good and that was that. I feel betrayed, lost, confused, depressed.. I don't know how I'll get over my first love, my everything. I built a foundation for us, only for me having to take it down... It's hard. We have had so many loving memories in my home town it's hard not to think about it.. I go to the place where we felt for each other, it hurts. But I feel close to him when I'm there. I still love him. I can't hate him because he showed me many things in life, basically helped me out A LOT. But i do hate his poor choices and the people that might of influenced him to go in a relationship after ours. I thank and love him for being there when I needed him there, he's my best friend and the only person that gets me like no one else. He told me we can't be friends because I still have feelings for him. He said once i loose those feelings and find someone else, we can be friends. I probably won't hear from him in a long time because he's deactivating everything he's on, like Facebook.etc. if i do find someone else, I'll probably have feelings for him still.. And would have to lie that I don't. I don't know how to manage now.. It's really hard to deal with and I find myself crying constantly. The term that I always used,(Always

Ellie

March 17, 2014 @ (Australia)

Tags: bad breakup turned inspirational story

In this story, the breakup lasted almost four months. Stupid, I know.
When I was 20 I completely fell for my housemate, we'd been living together for a few months and he was a wonderful friend, we ended up dating for ten months. The first six were amazing. We had compatible future plans and lived together like an old married couple, we knew each other better than ourselves, or so I thought.
Over the course of the last four months, things started changing. He still did all the physical things that you'd expect a loving boyfriend to do, lifts home from work, random gifts.. but he started making me feel like I was a screw up. I couldn't do anything right, he was mad all the time at the stupidest things. Sometimes I would cry in our shared bed and he would just roll over to sleep. (remember this, it's relevant.) When my anxiety peaked to a point where I couldn't handle it, I told him it was over. He basically told me that he'd been wanting to leave me for months but didn't want to deal with dumping me, four months of emotional turmoil because he couldn't be bothered just talking to me! He moved out the next day.

There's an inspirational message in here though. After him, I dated a few people who lied and manipulated and all but gave up, until I met someone who I immediately bonded with over our emotionally damaging exes. The first time we had a minor disagreement, we made up right away, and then he rolled over to sleep. Because I'd always known this to mean "I don't like you right now." even though I knew it was ridiculous, I started crying. I tried to hide it, but when he noticed he immediately cuddled me and apologised, turns out he rolled over because his shoulder was really hurting but he refused to get comfortable again until I was happy again and falling asleep. We're still together.

There's never a good reason for anyone to make you feel like you're not good enough, or that you're not loved. If this is happening to you, just know that the worst that can come out of leaving someone who does this to you, is that you'll be single for a while. The best thing that can happen is a major self confidence boost from standing up for yourself and a better man just around the corner.

I'm sorry for making this so deep, but whilst that four months was the worst, most damaging thing that's ever happened to me, I came out the other side better off.

Brandon

March 10, 2014 @ (Portland, OR)

Tags: worst breakup, jerk, idiot, heart breaker, regretful

So, I had been dating this girl for about six months with a two month break in between, let's call her "Jackie". It was when we got back together I realized that things weren't going to work. She said that we just need to communicate more, but it never happened, we always just sat in awkward silence until one of us had to leave.
Before we get to the actual break-up, I want to do a little back-story. So a few years back my friends introduced me to this girl, not the one I broke up with, let's call her "Amanda." Amanda was a nice girl from the very start, She invited me to all her parties, and helped me out with my homework and essays. She was funny, she would often make fun of my now best friend, "Franklin," which I found hilarious. She was also super smart, she had one of the highest GPAs in the school, and passed even the most advanced classes. And I swear she is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, and to this day I am deeply in love with her. Unfortunately, when I told her about my feelings, she dropped the F-Bomb on me. Yep, that was my first ever "friend-zone." I was crushed, I never felt so terrible in my life. But I stayed adamant, and year after year I would ask her, and year after year she denied me. I realize that she can make whatever choice she wants, but I couldn't help but to want to be with her. I guess she must have gotten tired of me asking, because after the fourth confession, she suggested I go out with Jackie, whom I had met a month earlier. I knew she had a thing for me, and Amanda said we would be cute together. I don't know why, but the words "cute together" hit me really hard. Just the thought of being with someone other than her felt wrong. Things did go wrong eventually, I guess that's what happens when you go out with someone because the love of your life asks you to. I probably should have seen that coming. After dancing with Jackie at one of the parties, I became infatuated with her. I asked her out on a date, and she of course said yes. Now I had never gone out on a date before so I didn't know exactly what to do. And no one told me that movie dates are the worst first date you could go on. We sat in the theater eating our popcorn, eyes glued to the screen, not even looking at each other; the first of many awkward experiences. The worst part was that Amanda offered to drive us around since neither I or Jackie bothered to learn how to. Amanda couldn't have been more happy to see me going out with another girl, which I understand is something friends do, but when that friend has recently broken your heart, it kinda stings a little.
Fast forward four months. Now at this point we've decided to break things off for a while. Jackie has started dating this guy, let's call him "Matt." I had no problem with Jackie dating Matt, in fact I was happy that she found someone she could actually talk to. Matt and I are also good friends so, I was happy for both of them. Now with no one to distract my feelings, I began to feel old emotions rising again, I would often hang out with Amanda like we used to, but not in a way that would give any hints, just talking, and study sessions. I should have realized then that this was what it was meant to be like. Being single wasn't a bad thing, in fact I love being single. It makes you appreciate all the free time you once had to hang out with friends and get work done. This didn't last very long, because Jackie and Matt eventually broke up. I never got the exact details of why or how, but I do know that Jackie broke up with Matt, because she realized that she still loved me even though she was the one who broke up with me for Matt in the first place. Matt explained to me that he cared for her, and he wanted to see her happy, and that I should take her back. And I, being the stupid confused kid at the time, said "of course." And so, we began dating each other once more. The rekindled infatuation didn't last long, and I realized about a month in that things weren't going to work. Now came the biggest problem, how to break it to her. Now, just because I wasn't in love with Jackie doesn't mean I didn't care about her. She was genuinely sweet and innocent, and I couldn't bare to see her sad or upset.
It was only a few weeks later that I built up the courage to tell her, mind you I gave no clue as to how I really felt, in fact I made it seem like everything was just dandy, which in hindsight wasn't the best idea. Of course, when I told her she was really confused. She asked me "Why? Why?" and I said "I'm sorry, I just don't think you're the one for me." At this point her sadness began to turn to anger. Something I had never seen in her before suddenly began to show. She said, "how dare you have the audacity to lead me on for so long. You know what? Fuck you." The words "fuck you" would have hurt less if she hadn't smiled and started walking away. But as I sat there, ashamed of what I had done, she did the worst thing she could have done to me. She turned back with tears running down her face and said, "I really did love you." And continued walking away. That must have been one of the worst days of my life. Eventually the sadness subsided, and she forgot all about me, which was probably for the best. Not once in our whole relationship did we ever say "I love you" to one another. But if I could go back and change what I did, I would have never gone out with her. I would have never gotten back together with her. I would have never led her on to believe that I loved her. And I would have never broken her heart.