Searching for "cia"

182 Results For 'cia'

Liz

December 24, 2012 @ (Lost)

so back in october I started talking to this guy (he's 18 and so am I), at first we weren't fond of each other because of a certain situation but slowly we started talking on good terms, I got to know him and he took the time to get to know me, we hung out a few times and I started developing feelings or a crush towards him. soon after on november 1st 2012 we started dating officially, we would see each other every day and sometimes he would come over out of the blue unexpectedly. I found these gestures sweet at a point and we would constantly spend time together. Myself, I really don't have many friends and I have a real fear of trusting people because of my past but I let that go with him. I was head over heels up until now when I slipped into a depression. I got sick with bronchitis and we couldn't see each other for a few days but he still wanted to see me although we could not kiss because of my sickness and he was pretty sick himself. I started having doubts in the back of my head was this what I really wanted. He treated me so well like a princess, we had our little arguments yes but that never changed how I felt and we always had great communication with each other and he all around cared about me and never have I ever been treated that way by any guy and it sort of gave me hope that things were going to change for me for once. he always complimented me although I never felt beautiful and I was also having problems with my life ie. college, family problems but he was there to asure me he wasn't going anywhere which scared me even more. I started feeling as if when I kissed him I didn't feel right because he said he was slowly falling for me but I was trying hard to keep myself from falling for him seeing as the duration of the time we've been together. He makes me so happy, he brightens my day and since we've broken up these past few days I feel empty and regretful and just guilty. I feel as if I let something good go and I'm not sure if I'll ever find that again, but I had to let him go if I did not feel right at that time because I slowly started feeling depressed again. I felt as if I couldn't feel for him the way he wanted me to and it hurts because I hurt him and he did nothing wrong. Was is that he was clinging on too much that I started to feel this way? I'm so confused and lost, that I'm not sure if this was right or if it was. I'm scared I may have lost out on my forever.

Ariana

November 05, 2012 @ (Brooklyn)

Tags: @neveragain

I couldn’t possibly say all the things I wanted to say off the top of my head to you in person so I wrote them down. There are no words to describe how incredibly disappointed and betrayed I feel by you. For once in my life I am able to say that this situation deems me being entirely selfish and not think about anyone else for a chance. Meaning that I really do not care about your feelings or whatever friendship you think you can offer me after this.
You said you were my friend, you said that I was a special person and that you would never want to lose me as a friend. Where was that feeling when you decided to start dating a mutual friend? Someone I considered living with? Someone I would have to constantly see you with in our when our friends hang out? In the library? Where were those morals you held me so high to? You flipped out enough to make me feel like shit when I started dating someone new when we broke up and he wasn't even your friend! The amount of shit that I have put up with because of you is enough to leave me scarred for life. You have hurt me so many times that I’ve stopped counting. There were nights when I lived with my mom that my grandmother heard me crying after an argument with you. I lost all shame when I was with you. But that was not the only thing I lost. I lost trust in other men, I lost self-value, I lost my morale as a woman. Slowly but surely you killed so much in me. But that is not why I am upset or angry with you because I had let that all go. I am mad at you because you tricked me into believing you cared about me and that we were real friends. You lied to me and completely disrespected me and insulted me as a woman. You even threw a jealous temper tantrum after my birthday! You had already started dating her! how dare you?? I thought that if there was anything that we got out of our disfunctional f*cked up relationship was your evolution from a dirtbag who hates women to an actual caring human being. It killed me to see you so hurt and angry at women. Because I thought that in using them like you did, you were just hurting yourself. But I was wrong. You will not change and you live your life to hurt the women around you, to walk around thinking first of your dick rather than your heart. Or even less, hers. I am not your friend, because you do not consider me your friend. I am just former property that you want to keep tabs on. It is sad that I lost who I thought was a friend, but it is even sadder because you lost a genuine friend due to selfishness, arrogance and stupidity. I want to forgive you but I am so hurt and angry right now that I can’t, you don’t deserve it.

Rogue

September 25, 2012 @ (ontario canada)

Tags: heartbroken, deserved it

Our love stories begins in September 2010. How fitting it ends now.

I will be honest and tell you that I didn't deserve his love the first year we were together and if I could find a way to take that time back. I would. A bit of history - he is 10 years younger than I (I am female). Although our maturity levels were in sync age (until recently) was never an issue. (It was something that troubled me. And because of that created unnecessary stress).

He worked full time, I was in school full time and worked two part time jobs. I have two children. One was 11 at the time the other 16. I had made the decision prior to even meeting him that I wasn't going to just introduce my kids to just anybody. I needed to know he was going to stick around. I didn't want to be one of those parents who bring partners in and out of their childrens lives. One year I told him when we met. I would introduce him after one year.

My family and friends disaproved of our relationship because it was interacial and because he was so young. I fell under the pressure. And ended it in December 2010. It didn't last long. We both loved each other and to end a relationship for others seemed wrong. Yet I always put my family and friends needs before his.

He lived 45 min away and was always ready willing and able to see me at the drop of a hat if I was free. Free time was something I didn't have much of and I soon began to resent the fact that all my time was consumed making someone happy, either my family, my children or him. I began to resent how much time he wanted from me.

I felt I had nothing to give in the first place. In May 2011 I noticed there was a girl he worked with that he was msging daily. I confronted him and he deleted her from bbm and facebook immediately no questions asked. The fact that I was uncomfortable made him do it. Why couldn't I do the same for him. I had a 20yr friend who made him uncomfortable and rightly so but I didn't do the same for him and he didn't push me. I know it hurt him.

I chose soding the back yard with family on a night we should have been together because my obligation to family was stronger to my obligation to him.

I could list several situations where this was the case. All of which now, I regret.

In july he lost his job. Money became tight and I found myself frustrated at the fact that he was playing video games all day while I worked my butt off just to make ends meet.

When september came time to meet the children my son had a death in his class, then his aunt was diagnosed with cancer and died shortly after. Excuses I know. But I wanted my son to be in a good spot prior to meeting him.

In december, he still had not met my son, still didn't work, was borrowing $$ from friends family and me who didn't have any to begin with. I ended things again.

Naturally we ended up back together in januay. But this time roles had switched. I realized how much I loved him and wanted to be with him and I was ready to share my life with him. Every aspect. The things I hesitated doing before I did without hesitation including getting rid of that 20yr friend. But now, he was distant. He was reserved. He was worried. I tried everything I could to make up for the wrongs that I had done.

The things he requested were unreasonable we both know it but I did it. Some of the things he asked me to do I am so ashamed that I did. Most, I will never tell a living soul because I am so disapointed in myself.

I hadn't seen him in 6 weeks. We hadn't slept together in 3 months, he was refusing to meet my kids still. Then on friday when I was supposed to spend the weekend at his house, he sent me a bbm msg while I was at work I am a manager of an employee and it was his first day. He didn't even give me a chance to respond before he deleted me on bbm. Blocked my emails and my phone number and I haven't heard from him since.

Why is it I love him so. Why is it I can forgive him anything now, but that first year we were together I couldn't give him what he deserved!

Emily

September 03, 2012 @ (California)

Tags: -.-

So. I met this guy and we were friends for about a week, and we saw each other at a mutual friends party. We got to know each other better and we hit it off, and when texting him later he tells me that he likes me...alright ! I had a crush on him too and we started talking. So every single day after that he would text me 24/7 non stop and blow up my phone when I wouldn't text back in 5 minutes, 5 FUCKING MINUTES !!! And he would always bash on my guy friends and me ex's without even meeting them, and i have healthy relationships with all my ex's. So fast forward all he would do was text me and cry and talk about his other bad relationships and how I was the one and he was going to marry me, and I was a little freaked. And Im not someone who's in relationships often so when I'm with someone it's a little special. Im saving my virginity for when I'm 18 and one day he grabbed my breast and tried to have sex with me !! After that I couldn't help myself, I kicked his ass(the best I could, I'm only 4'9 -_-) and I told him to get out and leave me alone. Now he bugs me and even has a timer on his phone for "the day I turn 18 and he can have me". What the fuck!?! What should I dooo ?

Christa

July 19, 2012 @ (Corpus Christi, Tx)

Tags: Birthday, Scumbag

First off, let me start by saying that this sounds fake, but I promise, every detail is real.

My boyfriend and I had been together for 3 years when I notices he was acting strange. We were out of state visiting his family for Christmas, when I saw he was receiving texts from the slutty secretary at 6:30 pm (well after she was off work). I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, so the next morning when he was in the shower, I did something I'd never done before in 3+ years together - I checked his texts. She had set him messages, wishing he was in bed with her. He blew it off, but never told her to stop. The worst part is, I work with both of them; she knows me and she knew he and I were together.

We argued all day, but promised eachother to work on our relationship.
He told me I needed to contribute more around the house (even though I work and go to school full-time), and I told him he needed to quit treating me like I was the pile of dung stuck to the bottom of his shoe.

Fast forward to February - I found out I was getting laid off April 30th. This caused alot of stress on my part, as I was losing my only source of income. I decided to use the layoff as an excuse to go to school full time, living off of whatever student loans I could get. I told him that my financial contributions would be minimal, but he was incredibly supportive.

Fast forward to April 29th - It's his birthday. I scrimped and saved from my last few paychecks and spend over $300 on him. I baked him cookies (because he preferred that over cake), and settled down at 1:00 to work on some homework. An hour later, he breaks up with me, knowing I'm losing my job the next day.

He broke up with me on his birthday, after I'd given him over $300 in gifts, knowing that the next day I'm losing my job, and have no way to support myself.

The worst part is, It's July now, and I'm still living with him because I can't afford to move out.

I can't wait for December.

CC

July 11, 2012 @ (HK)

Tags: breakup, ow

I'm 15 years old, he's 16. Let's call him by his initial, D. We started as good friends, and it slowly morphed into something more, like he would say 'I miss you', when I went out with friends and stuff. We had a common friend, my best friend, and he told me that he liked me, I was relieved because I thought he liked my friend. So we were together for 3 months, we rarely argued and it was all good :) But during the winter holidays, we barely talked, and he left for Japan with just a quick 'oh btw im going to japan'. So when he returned, we talked again over Skype, but I realized something was wrong. He wasn't the same. So I asked him if he liked me, and he said he didn't know, so when I tried to talk it through, he just said brb, cos his friend was calling him. Then when I asked whether we could talk in person, and he said he was busy tomorrow. So he promised to talk the day after. When the day after finally came, he said he was 'too tired in the mornings' and didn't even bother. So we decided on 'a break'. Meanwhile, he went to my best friend for support, though he didn't need it. I, in turn, somehow became close with the friend he had ditched me for, on the day that we broke up. During Easter, we got close again. He started making sexual comments, and touching me..but he never once said he liked me. It was all over by the time Easter ended. I had gotten into a fight with my best friend over my actions in the past year, for she didn't like how I had changed with sadness. It hurt me to see my ex making statuses for her like 'cheer up' or 'go online', But what hurt most was, on his steam profile, he said he loved a special person with a description so fitting her and the things they talk about. I don't know what to do, we still talk but it's awkss. I just need some advice.

Emaa

June 23, 2012 @ (middle of nowhere)

Tags: lifedestroyer, breakup, ruined

ok well heres how it is. im 15, and will be 16 next month. i dated a guy called jerry for about idk 3 weeks i wasnt like madly in love or any of that, but he was keeping my mind off other guys. so yeah he was 19, good looking and really popular too. of course he was one of those tough 'i dont give a shit' guys with no feelings but he was funny enough. anyway, i caught him fucking one of his pretty 6th year classmates. guess where? on the way to school. i obvioisly dumped him in a heartbeat, skipped school for the day to eat my triple chocolate m&s cereal thing and watch maury. ok after a day of that, and texts of 'jerry is a dickhead he didnt deserve you', i got one saying exactly this "You must be so angry at Jerry, for posting that video online. Whatta dick!". hold the phone, what video? then i got a link from fran (my friend). holy fuck. it was a video of me and jerry 'you know what-ing'. AKA FUCKING and i felt like dying right then and there. he'd taken a video of us in secret, not only that it was online, not only that everyone i know saw it. i was about to run away but my step mum came home. she saw it too, god knows how. she got really mad and told me everyone she knew saw it too, even my granny. and of course the texts flew in about what a dirty whore i was, even my friends in singapore watched the video. ive kinda cut everyone off except from my really good friends. i left and am now staying in my house in the country alone (my dad died and i got the huge awesome house) and am lonely as fuck. my bet friend callum told me i should take him to court and sen him away for 20+ years on counts of child pornography, statutory rape and uploading a video without consent. this is without a doubt the worst break up of my entire life ands its destroyed me. hope you feel better thst your break up wasnt half as bad. but i could be wrong if they broke your heart, because thats really sad and hurts A LOT especially when you really really loved them x have fun reading more like i do x

Tammy

June 18, 2012 @ (california)

Tags: Confused, heartbroken

we met in freshman year of high school he had a crush on each other and somehow nothing ever happened. we had always crossed paths but once again nothing ever happened. we are now both 20 and in a serious relationship. before we were official we dated for a while, one night i went out with my girlfriends i got super drunk i have no recollection of anything. he took me in that night and took care of me. that day we called one of my girlfriends asking her if i had done anything stupid she said no. we both sighed of relief. this happened about five months ago we were just dating. a few days ago i recieved a text from my friend say that i did hook up with someone and that something was put i drink. i automatically freaked out and told my boyfriend. the only thing he responded to me with was a "just leave im done". something didnt feel so right so i called my friend and asked her what the heck was up with the text, she had no idea what i was talking about. turns out i did absolutley nothing like i knew i did and her brother pulled a prank on me. i told my boyfriend but he still does not want to be with me. after i did absolutely nothing. what should i do? ANYTHING HELPS!! I'M REALLY BROKEN INSIDE AND HURTING ENDLESSLY. I WANT NOTHING MORE THAN TO BE WITH HIM AGAIN

Sarah

June 05, 2012 @ (united states)

Tags: breakup advice help

I really dont know what to do.
My boyfriend and I were together for almost 4 years.. we started dating right before junior year in high school. i went away to college and we still made the relationship work. During high school we had alot of problems with him and other girls but we always worked thru it as hard as it was on me. and once college began he definatley grew up and stopped playing those stupid games. whenever i came home to visit from college it always seemed like he didnt have time for me, and would fall asleep on me when we would hang out. a little over a month ago i came home and we were arguing alot, so out of the blue i broke up with him, hoping that it would just be a break to just recollect and realize we need eachother in eachother's lives. i still saw him in my future. after the break up he kept texting me nonstop saying he missed me and wanted me back, but i stood my ground especially cause finals were coming up and i wanted to focus on that at the time. in the meantime, there was a man at my college who was interested in me and we went on a couple dates and he kissed me but right away i knew it wouldnt work out and still thought of my ex so i let him know right away i didnt want to keep dating. my ex found out we kissed and right away and it made him want me even more, but i told him i wanted to start over with him (my ex) and not jump back into the relationship asap. now, for the last two weeks, he stopped talking to me, and i realized i was ready to be with him again. i kept texting him, but he stopped responding. two nights ago i wrote him a long letter explaining why i did everythign that i did, and that i saw a future with him and just wanted to work everything out now that it is summer and were back in the same city. he finally texted me when he got my letter, pretty much saying to leave him alone, hes moving on, and doesnt see me in the future (even though two weeks prior he said he would marry me if he could). i am SO hurt. i begged for one more chance and he said no. i feel like i pushed him away and now its to late, and i am never going to forgive myself for it. it just doesnt make sense how after two weeks he went from seeing me in the future to not. and i saw on facebook this morning hes taking some new girl to a concert and spedning alot of time with her. honestly, what do i do. im so heartbroken...

Robert

June 02, 2012 @ (California)

Tags: Morrissey

"My Larissa", "Baby", "hunny"… fuck. In your head you broke up with me 3 months ago but it took you til 3 weeks ago to really do it. That’s how complicated you are. To lose your feelings is one thing, but to play pretend and say you love me when you don’t really care about me is fucked. You’re a coward and I don’t respect you for what you put me through. You don’t want to call me and rather email me? I miss… whom you used to be, the shy girl with brown eyes, big hair and red lips. I don’t miss the lying little girl you are to me now. It makes sense why you didn’t like serious moments, or taking pictures, or being around my family at times, and why you acted up, said disrespectful things and treated me the way you did. You’re the worst girlfriend I’ve ever had.

I saw it in the first place when you cheated on me, I made the mistake of forgiving you and what happened thereafter wasn’t fair to me. I was doing everything I could, the best I could do to believe we can be happy together. You were bringing me down, you were making me think I was doing something wrong and you broke my heart. I spent all this time getting to know you; I always went out of my way to be with you. In-between working a lot, skating as much as I could, growing my business, getting fired, having you cheat on me, all the depressing feelings, you going out drinking too much, me not being motivated to skate, bummed out over everything, to getting new jobs, significantly improving my situation, then, to watch you lead me to a shot in the dark.

My ex cheated on me, as you know. Remember we said we wouldn’t ever put each other through the same things others did to us? Lucky for me I was cheated on twice in a row, right? How did I get such good aim with finding very messed up people? It’s a real bummer. I knew you were hiding something from me, I knew I couldn’t trust you and I went to your house that night for the same reason I sent you a birthday card you didn't deserve... to get the truth. No more lies Larissa, take my information off your resume and don’t give anyone my letter of recommendation. If I get a call I will tell them that you never worked for me, I will be honest and admit it’s all bullshit and that you are not a good candidate.

You’re brown jacket you left in my trunk is in the trash.

Life is going to hit you eventually and it will be a night-terror come true. I showed you what you’ve been missing, freed you from your broken home, into mine countless nights and held your hand through the ups and downs. I looked out for you and was there for you. You cover up your sadness pretty well but one day it will all come out when you least expect it. You can’t hide it forever. You are weak. You have a lot of growing up to do. You’re not looking for someone to sweep you off your feet. You’re lonely, you are lost, but I found you and met you for some reason. But someone who deserves me and will treat me right is in my future. I’m a good man, a gentleman, one of the most positive people you’ll ever meet, I have a passionate heart, desire to be someone great and I did my best.

It’s fitting you have a tattoo of a rose, roses are beautiful but every rose has it’s thorns and they hurt, especially when you don’t deserve to feel them. This whole thing is a shame and it’s much too late for goodbyes. Pray Larissa, God knows what you did. Pray for goodwill, kindness and respect. He has been lifting my spirit and giving me strength to part with loving you. You need Jesus and you’ll eventually need to seek my forgiveness if you really do value me as a friend for any of the rest of your life. Learn the difference between right and wrong.

It didn’t have to be like this.