Searching for "cia"

182 Results For 'cia'

Golden614

May 06, 2011 @ (AZ)

Tags: love1

We had been together for three years. Three happy years. We laughed all the time, went places together, shared dreams and thoughts. Had awesome debates. We didn't always see eye to eye, obviously, but when we argued it was productive. There was compromise on both parts and I FELT so loved and so lucky. I looked at other people's relationships and couldn't understand all the drama and strife. We worked through our problems and were steadily making progress and both happily moving forward in our relationship. So much laughter and joy, any issue was rare because we got along so well. And then about a week before it happened, maybe two, I noticed he was very distant. I chalked it up to work stress and so many other things. I didn't push, thinking he would talk about it when he was ready. I know how I feel when I get the blues, I don't want everyone pushing me and asking me what's wrong, ad nauseum. He called me one day while he knew I was at work and gave me the dreaded line, "We need to talk." He said he didn't love me. He wasn't looking for "the one." We weren't compatible, etc etc etc. This from the man who only a week before had purchased a trip over seas with me and was talking about our future and telling me how special I was, I mean I literally had the wind knocked out of me. Now he says he wants to be friends. I love him but I'm not stupid. I don't want to be with someone who could flip on me so quickly, who would lead me on for three years, someone who apparently doesn't love me. But, my heart just can't seem to catch up with my brain. I see that he had an attack of commitment-phobia. But, how can it be true that he would stay with me for so long, that we could both be SO happy and he doesn't love me? I am having trouble moving on because I just can't wrap my head around it. And this whole, "We can still be friends," mess. Yeah, right. That has to some selfish ploy to alleviate his guilt feelings. And he tells me things like, "People break up all the time." "People change." It seems like the only thing that changed was how he acted toward me. And people do break up all the time, but so suddenly? So arbitrarily? He said he has never been with anyone as long as he has been with me and that no one was so immersed in his life, that he had never been so close with anyone else. Ever. He still wants me to be a part of his life. But he doesn't love me? He has loved other girlfriends, but not me? I'm lost. I just don't get it.

Asia

April 11, 2011 @ (Texas)

Tags: Young

I'm pretty young. I'm not going to tell you my age, just my story.

So I was in school right-WAY TOO YOUNG TO BE DATING. I was a average girl. I'm not popular, more like anti-social. I wasn't really looking at guys yet but then about around December I found a note in my locker. This semi-popular guy was actually asking me out. I was about to say no when my friends told me that I should at least try to be a little social so I went out with him. He was nice at first, a little loud and controlling but nice. By the end of our first month dating I grew to like him. We hung out and then my grades dropped a little, not much but I went from a average of 96-100 to about an average of 89-95 not much but my parents certainly noticed. I continued to hang out with him. One day I think it was around mid-April when we were out at the mall when he told me to hold on to this box or something - he wanted me to shoplift. I never took it whatever it was and quickly left the shop. He followed me. We didn't talk. The next day he told me that I was too "stiff", "cheery" ---- (Who the hell says cheery?)----

We broke up sort of if you could even call it that.
-we kissed-we hung out-we broke up

And get this! Around June I found out he was using me. Turns out his friends dared him to ask me out sayin that i would never say yes. I shouldn't have. I cried and it hurt, it still does.

After a couple of months though I realize that I was never really in love I just really really really really really liked him.

Jerry

April 11, 2011 @ (Minnesota)

Tags: No-O

My ex told me our relationship has become "platonic" We had been together for about 4 months. I was an ideal boyfriend in nearly every way, I'm funny, I'm decent looking, I'm a great cook, and I cooked several fine meals for her. I took her out to fancy restaurants, movies, and plays. I bought her flowers several times to surprise her, and even delivered them to her at work so her coworkers could all be jealous of her. There was one problem, I was bad in bed.

I was a virgin when we started dating. She knew this, because we had been friends for a while, so she knew not to expect much from me in the bedroom, at least at first. In spite of that I knew how to give her pleasure in other ways, and never failed to get her off.

When we finally had sex, I didn't have the problem that most guys have the first time. Instead of not lasting long enough, I didn't have an orgasm at all. I was hard, I just didn't finish. We had sex on three different dates, each time the same thing. I was getting better at it each time, less awkward, more satisfying for her, but each time I didn't blow, probably because she was obsessed with making me come, and it made me nervous.

The last time we had sex, I got her off three times, I stayed hard for so long, we just kept going until the early hours of the morning, until she literally passed out from exhaustion. But, because I didn't have an orgasm, she began to doubt herself and think that I didn't find her attractive.

I told her every day how beautiful she was, but still she somehow reached the conclusion that the fact that I hadn't gone from virgin to Peter North in 3 lays somehow meant she was to blame.

We were going to try one more time, but the day before that date I found out my mom was dying. We tried anyway, but I was to distressed and couldn't even get it up.

So now, my mom is on her deathbed, my bills are piling up because I have missed work, I am behind in my classes because I have been missing school, and my ex dumped me, not because I can't please her in bed, but because she doesn't think I get enough pleasure in bed.

I think she should have given me more time. I mean, 3 times isn't really much of a chance to prove yourself, especially if you start as a virgin.

Funny thing is, I'm not mad at her, I feel sorry for her, I was probably the best boyfriend she will ever have.

Danielle

March 31, 2011 @ (Chicago)

Tags: breakup, first, relationship, heartbroken

My boyfriend and I were together for just over two years. It was the first serious relationship either of us had been in, and we were in love. He fought hard to win me over, and he made me feel more special than I have ever felt in my life. He was my world. I trusted him completely and never in my wildest dreams imagined that he could break my heart.

During the last few months of our relationship, I felt a subtle shift. It was nothing to raise any alarms, but I definitely noticed it. I realized that I was usually the one to initiate affection, or to plan an outing, or even to call. He was still kind and loving, but it felt as though his passion had faded.

I confronted him about it. I asked him if he was still in love with me. The moment I said it, I regretted it. He suddenly looked very confused, and the second he began talking I knew I had opened Pandora's Box. With a pained look in his eyes, he told me he wasn't sure anymore -- that our relationship had become "comfortable." He said he needed time to think.

After a week without contact, he he came over to my apartment. I felt optimistic; I was convinced that we would just end up having a serious talk addressing the inevitable loss of the puppy love stage in our relationship. I was wrong. He told me that he was no longer in love with me, that he no longer wanted to be my boyfriend, but he couldn't imagine losing me as a friend. In that moment I felt my world collapse. I pleaded with him to reconsider, I begged him to stay. Nothing I said had any effect, and he left my place in tears.

It's been six months since I've seen him, and my heart is still in pieces. Our parting was so sudden, I still feel like I'm in shock. After a few months of trying to remain his friend, I quit. The pain of being platonic was too great for me, and my pain was too great for him. Now I'm too scared to reach out to him again for fear of the pain that comes with knowing you've been replaced. All I want is to be back in his arms, but he's let me go and hasn't looked back.

Annie

March 28, 2011 @ (Illinois)

Tags: Lies, Manipulation

I started dating a guy after we met online. He was great and we immediately hit it off. He was living proof that good guys still existed and I found myself starting to let go of the wall I had built after years of childhood abuse. After a couple weeks of dating he told me that he was falling for me, so I decided that it was time to tell him of my abusive past and the issues that came with it, which was when he told me that he would never do that to me(as he was crying through my stories). Soon, I decided that I was ready to lose my virginity to him, one of the last walls I had held on to. About a week after this happened, he started to pull away but insisted that everything was okay and blamed it on his cold. Shortly after Valentine's Day, he told me that he was a recovering sex addict, something he only told two other people. Having learned to face problems head on instead of running away, I told him that I would help however I could. Plus, I also felt like I would be a b*tch for breaking up with him when he was at a low point already. This went on for a few weeks, while he kept assuring me that our relationship was doing great. Gradually he started to change from the man I had met and into a total stranger, cussing all the time and never happy. Yesterday, he invited me to his house for lunch after going to church. That's when he decided to tell me that he felt incapable of any emotion, especially love. Wouldn't look me in the eye at all and just kept trying to lead me to broach the subject of breaking up. I knew it was all lies, but I played dumb, just trying to make him feel more horrible. He wouldn't even walk me to the door. I just can't understand why he couldn't just grow a pair and break up with me honestly. I feel so used.

Sha Sha

March 20, 2011 @ (nyc)

Tags: wild out

when i started to date this guy , it was nothing but passion and arguments. four months later he started to talk with someone else . i found out by going through his cell , i never had a reason to go threw this cell. when i had confront him, he felt bad so he started step up. it was great but then i was putting in way more then he was. 6 months later he suddenly didn't want to be in a relationship (idea from his friend} he was there for me still but we still had feelings for each other. he told people we were friends but we were more. after his mom bday last week .(we was official) we started to get more into arguments. i wanted to start dating other people , so we went out saturday everything was right but a bit off . we went to the bar then after the bar he took my laptop n said i dont trust u n push me. we started to get in a argument . his drug dealer brother is missing some stuff , so his brother n him started to blame me . (potheads) i was shock cause i wouldnt dare do that crap but his brother bring strangers into his home. i was even upset when i told him f off im done . he started to call me names . two hours later he went on my fb page n deleted all my photos n friends(he ran off with my laptop) so today i change all my passwords. (im happy to not be with him) he started to text me things n started to name what he dont like about me. like that suppose to hurt

For Mike And Tiffany

December 30, 2010 @ (Arizona)

Tags: suicide, secretary

Dear Mike, Since you refuse to take my calls and you have blocked my email, I am left with no options but this. I know you will read this, because you chose to end our relationship on this site and I know you enjoy reading these things. First, I was devastated when you disappeared on Christmas Eve, so much so I had a spontaneous miscarriage. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I was going to tell you everything on Christmas morning, sort of your present from me. Mike, my dearest love, the reason I had been eating so much, and gaining weight was because I was pregnant with our child. When we were in Milan, I hadn't taken my birth control for a while. That was on purpose. After out fight in August about having kids, I really thought about it, and I decided to make some changes in my life. I wanted to show you I was committed to you, so I made the decision to get pregnant. (That is why those sheets were special to me. Our baby was conceived on them.) I'm so sorry that I just didn't tell you sooner, but I wanted to be sure I could carry it to term. Mike, I was so scared about bringing a child into this messed up world. When I lost my parents at 6 years old, I promised I would never make my children grow up the way I did. That is why I told you I never wanted to have a child. Mike, I'm sorry, I was afraid I would fail as a parent. And now, I'm sorry, I have done exactly that. Mike, they did all they could, but she was just too early. She lived for a few minutes, just long enough for me to hold her. Mike, she was so beautiful. She had your nose. I could see both of us in her tiny face. I named her Sarah Rose, after your G-Mom.
Mike, please forgive me for not telling you everything sooner. I did so want to make this Christmas a new beginning for us. I had already told Max, I was quitting after the new year. That is why I was pushing Tiffany so hard; she was to take my place when I left the company. Please tell her to call Max, the job is still hers.
Mike, I just wanted you to know, you are and will always be my forever love. I never wanted anything in this world but to make you happy. I realize now I have failed at that too.
You asked for a present for Tiff's and your child. So here it is. I've left everything to you, the house in Tahoe will be paid off, and everything else is here in Scottsdale. I've signed everything into your name. I've always known I never "fit" in this world, and now that you are gone, I see no reason to continue this charade. I wish all three of you all the happiness possible.
Please go to the bird lady's house and get Pete and Polly. I told her they now belong to you. I am going now to be with our little girl. Maybe, if there really is a heaven, we will all be together some day. Until then, I will always be loving you and looking over you. My dearest love, farewell.

Katt

December 29, 2010 @ (413)

Tags: 1, 2

Ok, I have been thru hell n back...I met my 1st love @ 15 when I was a freshman in HS n he was a junior. We dated that summer and my sophomore yr I get prego the day I lost my virginity...later I found out he cheated on me w/ his ex n she was prego, exactly 1 mth a head of me...after a paternity test the girl named after him isnt his n we eneded up getting married when I was 19 n him 21...to make a veryyyy long story short, i grew insecure. I turned psycho thinking he was always lying n cheating becuz i couldn't believe him...after being on n off for 11 yrs n 2 kids later, i ended it...the ONLY reason y i stayed as long as I did was for my kids...becuz although he was a liar n not cold, he was n still is an amazing father n great provider! on paper we had it all, beautiful house, cars, clothes, n handsome kids, but i was living a lie for my kids n realized i was doing more harm than good by staying...so i ended it...he was devastated (especially because the last few yrs he was doing sooo good!!) but my heart wasnt in it anymore...n it hurts to be cheated on, i was so sad n heartbroken, especially being 16 n pregnant...but reading these stories has made me realize how mature i was through out the whole thing...i finished school, graduated w/ honors, worked...i'm on here wanting to read real stories of break ups n it seems that there's just a shit load of little kids on here who have no self respect for themselves! yes i went back to a cheater but that was after mths of no communication n having him prove himself...on here these girls get dumped, then the next day sleeping w/ the dude n wonders y they got dumped again!! Then saying things like "should i keep trying?" or "we're friends w/ benefits still" like how ridiculous do u sound!!! u sound pathetic n then the stories of the girl getting dumped n still sleeping w/ dude KNOWING he doesnt want to be w her n getting pregnant??? WTF!!! someone commented saying it sounds like she did it on purpose n i agree!! girls these days don't respect themselves nor value themselves! they revolve their worlds around douches instead of focusing on school n their futures. its just sooo sad!!! what is happening with these younger generations!!?? I am blessed to have such a wonderful, strong, supportive family who has taught me morals and taught me that i dont need a man to make me happy!! where are these kids parents??? Sorry, had to vent!!

Brandee

December 27, 2010 @ (Boulder City Nevada)

Tags: Cameron Cuny

Let's see. It's December... 6months ago.

I was dating this doucher, and I met someone online.He was, perfect? No, perfect is an under-state-ment. Anywys, we fell in love. We both did, instantly.

God, I'm getting flash backs; we celebrated Fourth of July together. July 3rd we met and fell inlove, and became the greatest relationship ever. Hours and Hours on the phone, everynight. Webcams, phones, Im's. But, everyone was right.. Long distance doesn't work.

Anyways... We were amazing, but we only lasted a short time. I remember the breakup so vividly. I was high off of life, hanging out with my best friend, walking home, and as I passed the alleyway across the way from my alley, I got a phone call from my baby. I remember him talking to his buddy breifly, and then getting serious. He just explained to me that it wasn't working. He then asked, if I was alright, and with tears in my eyes, I replied yes. He told me if I needed to cry I could.

Oh I needed to cry alright. But I told him I didn't want him to have to hear it for, I didn't want him to feel bad. I told him I had to go...

My friend Devin was concerned.

I turned around, facing away from her, and cried, silent at first.

I tried to walk, i was so shaken, I couldn't walk, so I stumbled and fell. I sat against the wall, and Devin rushed over. I just started to scream. I couldn't breath, and I was screaming. Devin helped me up while I was still bawling, and she hugged me. I was so crushed. It felt as if he took a kife, rammed it into my heart, and then twisted the blade. After about an hour, I regained enough of my composure to get home..
As sooon as I was in my room, I began to cry again. I turned up my music and cried. After like... roughly 3 hours, Devin went home. I never stopped crying.

I did something I have never done before too.
I became numb. I was in such denial. It was so not over.

I couldn't even feel my heartbeat anymore, and pathetically, I cut myslef. I didn't want to die, I was making sure I was still alive.

He called me. I swear, I just sat there, with the phone muted, crying, screaming, not breathing. he was apologizing. Which broke my heart even more, causing me more pain.

This was the first guy, the first person I have ever felt love for, and he does this too mee? I would tell everyone exactly why he broke up with me, stupid reson, but I don't want to be mean. Why would anyone do this to me? My first real true heart break.. and it still haunts me. 6 MONTHS LATER! Why?

I have cried so many times, just at random, and if any of my friends even say his name, itnsta-cry. Little things remind me of him. Especially the song, It's Not Over- Second HandSerenade. I have listened to it atleast 100 times in the last couple hours. It's 3:46 in the morning.. I have officially been crying for 3 hours. Yay. what an accomplishment. Are you happy Cameron? Knowing that the fucking thought of you makes me cry. And when i do cry, I can't breath. I put myself through hell, for you. And what's even worse... I still love you.

-Brandee.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZmvJknzLfU&feature=related

Sarah

November 25, 2010 @ (Michigan)

Tags: 2

My situation is unique for why i have such a shattered heart.... i was with my boyfriend for 6 months...i know its not that long but i loved him more than anything he was my best friend and i trusted him...and he got me pregnant....When i first told him the news he was excited and wanted me to keep the baby. Even though we're both really young and I myself am not ready to be a mother. But because i loved him and i wanted to be with im forever i thought maybe we could make this work. Then the next day he broke up with me through a text messege while i was at work. You can imagine how hurt i was. I couldnt even work the rest of that day because i was soooo hurt and confused. You're probably thinking that hes just an immature 21 year old and yes that is true but i cant shake the horrible heart breaking feeling over this. He will not give me an explination of any sort. He wont talk to me at all.
That's not even the worst part. I found out a week later he has a new girlfriend who has a baby. He is posting facebook status' that say how much he cant stop thinking about his "wife" and "baby" and he is as happy as he has ever been in his life. I know now that i shouldnt have looked at his facebook, and after reading that i promised myself i will NEVER look at it again. Its unbelievably heart breaking to know that he left me to be with that girl who has baby. I felt i had no other choice but to get an abortion. I dont want to be a single mother at this age. I dont think i could do it alone. I am so confused because i dont know what i would have done for him to leave me like that. I dont understand why he would want me to keep our baby then throw me away like trash and then run off with that other girl. He's rubbing my nose in it with those facebook posts. The pain i feel with this is excruciating. While im here miserablely heart broken wondering what i had done wrong he is out there with his new girlfriend he calls his "wife" and hes being a father to her baby. Also that girl he is with changed her last name on facebook to his last name, as if they were married. It is absolutly rediculous because i almost feel like he is doing all of this on purpose to get at me, but i also think maybe is real between them and they really do want to be married after only knowing eachother one week. Well for all i know they could have been going out when me and him were together, but i try not to think of it that way. I do have to mention that he didnt help pay for the abortion after i asked him to. He completely ignored me. So i have talked with his mother about my situation. She is on my side with this which is somewhat comforting but doesnt change what happend...
I dont know what i should do to work past this. I cant stop thinking about it. I have had past relationships and i thought i've been heartbroken before but nothing like this. This is pain i have never felt before and its horrible. I want answers. Everyone says I am young and ill move on and forget about all this over time. I just keep waiting around because maybe he will give me a explination for all of this. I NEVER saw this coming. Me and im were happy together and we also seen eachother every day so what happend makes no sense to me at all. I can imagine he met her one day and then BAM desided to get "married" and be a happy family. It's confusing and i dont understand.