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Cc

May 23, 2012 @ (NA)

I dont know what to do. Here's my story.

I was friends with him for a year and a half before we got together. Even as friends, I knew he likes to manipulate people's feelings so that they do what he wants. He manipulated me into feeling guilty many times before and I knew he wasn't the man I was looking for. But my best friend got together with a guy I had a crush on and I was never going to get. He was recovering from his recent breakup with someone he had a long history with. So I started to go out with him.

It was my first real relationship (I'm 22). When I told my friends and family about him after a month, most of them told me they didn't like him. Some of my friends knew him from school, and warned me about being with him. I did break up with him because of that, but I also felt bad and ran back to beg for forgiveness the next day. It should've ended right there. But I was lonely and I don't like feeling I've been unfair to him.

Then for the next year and a half, we broke up numerous times and got back together the same number of times. There was never a time we were officially broken up for more than 10 days. A year ago, I told my friends and family after a break up that we were done and I never updated them that we got back together again. It was just too much drama and stupidity on my part. After most of the break ups, either of us would just begs the other for forgiveness and another chance. Because there were just too many times that had happened, I actually made a promise to myself that I won't say it again unless I meant it.

For the last two months, I feel that he's been neglecting me and mostly just spending all his time with the people at his business. I knew he really wanted make it a success, so I had gotten involved with his business too, but not helping him as much as he liked. But I was at the office ten hours a week or more until April when I had to concentrate on my exams. A few weeks ago, I realized that I'm nowhere near the top of his priorities, and he won't call or text me during the day because he's "too busy at work".

The catalyst for the break up was he promised to take me to see a movie, but he pushed it back time and time again, and I, being very considerate, allowed it. But that last time, I told him to set a firm date and time, but he just told me not to bother him about it, he's tired, etc. I broke up with him through text after I hung up. That was two weeks ago. I felt sad every day since then, I cry on and off all day and night and sometimes feel that my life is meaningless. But some days i feel fine.

I care deeply for him. We met up last week, and I pretended that I was normal and told him that we can be friends. Last night, I texted him whether I can drop by his place at night (he lives a 5min walk away) and talk. He told me not to. I guess he was right, cuz I just wanted to see him and see how he's doing. Like he isn't a bad person and I learned to be a better person because of him. I just feel that he didn't treat me right, especially in the last months. Maybe he just doesn't love me as much. But I had grown to care for him and think of him everyday during our 1.5yrs together. I think of him constantly and I get teary and cry all the time now.

I want to tell him why I broke up with him and ask why he agreed (we never had a conversation about this). I want to see how he's doing. I want to tell him that of he just changed how he treats me I would stay with him. I think all this time, I've just been wishing that he would change for me since I knew that him as himself is not who I want (am I confusing you? Lol). He doesn't contact me now unless its about his business or unless I texted him first. What should I do?

Anonymous

May 20, 2012 @ (FL)

Tags: die, dying, abortion

I dated a girl name Alyssa for 2 years and about 5 months. We moved to attend grad school in a new city so I spent every hour of fall 2010 either studying or with her, so I had no friends nearby. We had had some rocky times because I did study abroad and was entering law school, but basically she didn't trust me and I didn't communicate how much I loved her. It was fine to break up over that, but the way she did it was unacceptable.

One night she kept talking about her friend Karen, but it was really really suspicious how nervous she was and for some reason 2 girls drinking a whole bottle of whiskey in a night seemed like a stretch. So I look at her facebook page from that night "Great night with KC and AC" KC was Karen, AC I quickly figured out was Anthony something. I confront her and she breaks up with me. We exchange our things about 5 days later and she tells me she has already gone on 2 dates with him. We talk one more time and she tells me not to call unless there is an emergency.

About 2 days later I destroy my knee playing soccer. Tear all 4 main ligaments, other smaller ligaments and tendon, smash nerves, etc. My knee stayed out of the socket. A major risk of this is that you can cut off the circulation and/or sever the vein in your leg which can cause you to die or have your leg amputated. Surgeon comes in and tells me I have about a 40% chance of dying within the next 48 hours. So I call Alyssa because I could be dying, I think that qualifies as an emergency. Goes to voicemail. I text her asking just to talk over the phone since I know no one at school since I spent all my free time with her first semester. No response text at first then she said "I won't talk to you. Have your mom call me tomorrow when she gets in from her emergency flight." So I was left in the hospital to die alone by her.

It gets better... A couple of weeks later I am just at rock bottom. On pain medicine (I didn't walk for about 2 or 3 months the injury was so bad). I called her angry and she told me that she was pregnant. The guy she ran off on from me Anthony whatever had knocked her up. So she aborted it.

When someone is potentially dying in the hospital and has no one there and they request you to call just for an hour to talk it takes a pretty selfish person to refuse. I think most people would (and for that matter should) drive to the hospital to keep someone company until their family arrives.

Long story short, it takes a pretty selfish immature cold hearted person to leave someone in the hospital to die and then to abort their kid.

Vanillatwilight

May 14, 2012 @ (somewhere on earth)

Tags: breakup, jerk, cheated

So me and my first bf (now ex bf) had a long distance relationship that lasted over 2 months. We'd see each other once a week to play volleyball together and occasionally meet up for movie and mall dates. He was the sweetest guy ever and i'd give up sleep just to talk to him. He was also quite busy since he went to private school. I was devasted when we broke up but i agreed to it because i could feel that he didnt feel the same way about me anymore. After our breakup, i came upon a youtube video one day of him singing a love song dedicated to this other girl (the video was posted when we were dating). Later on, i found out that he had been cheating with me through our entire relationship with a girl that he met on a cruise and who lived half way around the world. I was furious and disappointed at him. I also found out that the reason he broke up with his other ex was because she found out he cheated on her (with the same girl he cheated on me with.) I kept that to myself for a while and then confronted him a few day ago. He simply said congrats on finding out, he did consider making a video for me at one point but singing to her was their thing and playing volleyball with me was our thing. It has been over 3 months since we broke up but he has hurt me so badly that im still having trouble recovering from it. I don't even know what to do with anymore. I can't talk to him anymore cuz i know that he won't tell me any truth and i dont want to talk to such jerks, but at the sametime a part deep down inside of me still have feelings for him. :S

Katherine

May 14, 2012 @ (Oooops)

Tags: ex 2

so i have been seeing this guy kyle on and off for about 4 years. we are only on and off cause he left the first time for his best friends girlfriend. so i went for his best friend then we got back together then i left him for someone else and once again we got back together then he was talking to this girl whose a slut and got with her so we broke up and while they were going out he was cheating on her with me.then we were like together and he randomly ignores me and doesnt talk to me and he leaves. he promises he wont ignore me and he wont leave but he still has a record of doing it.this year for spring break i went to myrtle beach and i saw him the day before i left and i wanted to give back his bracelet and talk to him when im back cause we both would get fuked up and feel guilty or regret something. so he begged me to talk to him and keep the bracelet ... i did and during the vacation he ignored me. then randomly he would say eveythings fine. the day i got home he lost hope saying that its not working for him...kyle and me tried again and he got mad at me and wouldnt talk to me. so i went to his house to speak to him and when we spoke he wouldnt look at me. and then a few days he was acting weird. and yestarday he long boarded to my house just to see me... he says it will be different this time and he wont lose hope and he will do anything for us to work out. idk what to do. should i try it or let him go? we love eachother but i dont wanna always get hurt and him ignore me uk? what should i do

A

May 06, 2012 @ (california)

Tags: first, break, up

I started dating later in life, so he was my first--and this is my first break up.

We moved in together less than 6 months after our first date. We stayed together for a little under 2 years, but things started getting rocky half way through. I was feeling unsatisfied. I wanted it to work, and i would try communicating to him what I wanted. But for some reason we just weren't on the same page. By the end both of us were feeling worn out and unloved.

I was the one who initiated the idea of splitting. Maybe, immaturely on my part, I was thinking that it would spark something and we'd think, "no, I don't want to lose this person", and we'd try some other way to reach each other. But by then we didn't even know how to have that dialogue. It took me a couple of months to actually move out, but after some emotional drama, in the end he was the one wanting me to leave.

It's been about a month now and I can't stop feeling as though we failed, as though something died. And instead of just leaving it be and moving on, I keep feeling like we could have done so much better. I feel like the situation has brought me perspective, and a new sense of awareness of what it really means to be in a relationship with someone. But apparently it's too late. He says he's too tired, that he needs time to himself.

I could understand taking some time to ground ourselves, so reassess the situation. But in my mind I'm daydreaming about us connecting again like we did in the beginning, with excitement and a sense of adventure. In my mind, the second time around would be more wise, more mature. We'd have a better sense of how to approach it.

But he doesn't even want to entertain the idea, I guess. Embarrassingly, he doesn't even want to take my calls. I keep wanting things from him that he doesn't want to give. It hurts me, and on top of that I feel like such an idiot for trying still.

But I don't know how to let go, you know? I don't know how to not remember all the things about him and our past relationship without missing him.

I guess I'm not even sure if it's him I want. Maybe I am just craving a fulfilling relationship in general, and I keep trying to make him fit into that when he's obviously not the one for me.

It's still so hard to not get all emotional. I can go a couple of weeks without contacting him, but then it's like I can't stand it anymore and I just want to hear his voice. ]:

Pathetic, I know.

Naomi

May 05, 2012 @ (New Jersey)

Tags: i am so sorry, i miss you, you are not the one, you deserve better

I have known Hector for all of my high school years, we were really close and we had a blast together. In our senior year we decided to date. It was fun, he was funny, romantic, sweet but I always felt that is wasn't right. We then dated for almost a year and a half, now we were both in seperate colleges. He said I was his soulmate and he loved me so much, but during our whole relationship I was distant romantically but we still had fun together. Then I put more thought in it and I realized he loved me more than I loved him. I loved him but not in the "right way", I cared of him but really I wanted my best friend back without the romantic stuff. I decided he deserved better in love, someone who could reciprocate his feelings. He did everything right but I just never truly loved him. I wasnt ready to love him, and the day I broke up with him I cried; he cried and begged for me back. I know I am doing this so he can get the best out of life, I realized I could no longer be selfish and reap the benefits of being in a relationship when I didnt love him. So now as I write this, I am getting ready to visit him; it is a couple weeks after our break up, and I need to return some of his stuff and I dont know what is going to happen. No matter how much fun we had I could no longer go back to him. I am actually really childish but this is the maturest decision I think I have ever made but it just feels so hard. I lost my best friend, I will no longer hear about his life and it is really hard. But I know someone will love him completely and eternally. But in the back of my head I dont think I would find someone who loves me as much....

Jessica

March 02, 2012 @ (Texas)

Tags: Bestfriends, Friendship, Heartbreak, Love,

Hey everyone,

First of all, I'm going to change his name to...Johnny. Anyways. So Johnny and I had been bestfriends for a while. We were the best of best friends. We memorized eachother's daily routines down to when we got up to when we slept, what class we had on what day, and had a lot of insiders. He went to a school a little far from where I live so we never really saw each other because we met on Facebook but we had Skyped a lot. It wasn't until he said he was in love with me but at the time, i was in another relationship with a guy I had been with for a year and some months. Very sweet guy. But when it came to communication, my boyfriend at the time would never really talk to me. Every time I'd cry or feel sad I always went to Johnny because he was always there. At any hour of the night, i could call him and even though he was asleep he'd wake up just to talk.

So October cam around and I had feelings for Johnny as well but I knew I had to probably break up with my boyfriend at the time because things became very distant. My boyfriend at the time was going to San Francisco for 2 months. He couldn't even keep up communication when we were apart (and him living in my same area) what made you think he'd still talk to me when he left so I broke up with him. 2 Weeks later I started dating Johnny and he made me the most happiest girl in the world. And soon after that, we started doing things in bed (not necessarily sex but things extremely close to it) In fact we tried but we couldn't because it was difficult.

Anyways, so around last week (Feb.20) I noticed I hadn't gotten my period and suffered a lot of symptoms of pregnancy. I told him and he reassured me that I wasn't. Guys take it easier but for a girl, its tormenting, especially if it wasn't planned. So, I told him we needed a test. He agreed to buy me one when I saw him. (I only really saw him on Saturdays due to gas and distance) But my mind was dying to know so, I told my mom what was going on, because I was concerned. She took it okay in the beginning but when I told Johnny, i could tell he was upset but took it cool. My mom bought me the test and it came out negative thank god. But I had a feeling I did it wrong because I still felt bloated and it was already the 8th day of it. Soon, my dad found out and had a talk with Johnny and I just saying that we were lucky and what not. And to try and abstain from it.

My paranoia took the best of me because I still felt really sick so I went to the doctor to go get blood work done and thank goodness, it was negative again. I started the next day and things ended like that. But I told Johnny we'd have to be more careful and that even if its not real intercourse, its still possible. Soon after, I noticed that he became more distant so I kept telling him if something was bothering him, he could tell me. I still loved him a lot. But apparently, he didn't feel the same for me anymore.

He claimed that he never used me and it wasn't because of what happened but according to all the things he said through text (Oh by the way, he dumped me over TEXT) he didn't care much about anything I had to say. And after that, bam. He deleted me off of facebook and all communication ended there.

How can some guys be so mean...especially since he was my bestfriend and boyfriend. I trusted him so much. But I felt more anger/disappointment than sadness. I guess its true what they say..Don't date your bestfriend.

Serena

February 27, 2012 @ (Texas, California)

Tags: Long distance1, internet, dating, sad, breakup

Bitter sweet Internet love life

This is a true story about my own love life and how it started.. and sadly ended

-----------FlashBack-----------
I looked to my right and then to my left, I saw a guy with a cat head on? He seemed pretty interesting, but being the random person I was I walked up to him and said "Hai how's life?", "It's awesome right now" I giggled, "So what's your name?" the crowd around him answered "--------" I didn't even notice they were there and made me jump out of my skin!
------End of Flashback------
The day we first met was a memory turning hazy, but I never knew he would become my best friend. At the time I first met him I was a 1st year in middle school and was pretty dumb, but I didn't care as long as I was having fun at school, I was the type of person who could make anyone smile! I didn't take anything seriously at the time as in friendships, and relationships, I was all about living for the moment and always acting silly, but that would eventually change. Jerome was a well known person, I'm pretty sure he had more friends then I would ever have in my school years, but he was funny and also serious, he always put his friends as his number one priority and that's what I liked about him! I started talking to "------" everyday, and I would always learn something new about him, my friendly feelings eventually turned into love. One day my friend Christopher and I had started talking about the most random topics and I saw "-----" walk over to me and sit close to like he always did , I told Chris, "HEY CHRISTOPHER, are you going to pay for our wedding!" I realized what I had just said and started to blush, "but I have to pay for mine first!" he whined , ever since that day "------" and I became girlfriend and boyfriend, we exchanged numbers and the first thing he said was, "YES, I can prank call you now!" "Oh shush and text me cause I have to go, BAI "------" I LOVE YOUH!<3" "Love you too!<3" After that he imminently texted me, he made me feel special inside like I was the only girl he could have, I guess he had me falling head over heels for them, but things change... The day of my birth was coming up and I was so excited on what he would get me!! It could be anything I ever dreamed of. It finally came and what I got was a diamond ring as in an engagement ring!! He purposed to me after just one month and I felt so happy!! But after that my life would change forever... It was Friday may 20th that I received a text saying he had asked a girl out and she said yes. I wasn't happy about it, but I tried to act happy, but failed miserably. Inside I felt real jealous even though this relationship was just over the Internet I couldn't help but feel a little ache in my heart. As the weeks had gone by we started texting less as he distanced himself from me, but then his friend had died one day and that made the distance seem even longer, as he was always busy helping out others, even though I was a priority I felt like an option which hurt me the most... as a result I... cheated on him, I cheated on him because I wanted him to feel what I felt when he told me he had a girlfriend, that was The lowest point I had ever gone to in a relationship, and I felt empty inside. I told "------" all about "Joey" (a.k.a moo moo) at first he seemed completely fine with it but as I told him more, we had arguments that were pointless, he eventually found out that moo moo wasn't in real life but was on the Internet, I made a fatal mistake of hanging out with "Joey" that day as he gave me a '<3' sign right in front of "------" After that day "------" no longer talked to me, he ignored me, and all their was left was for "Joey" to fill the void I had in my heart. After a successful relationship "Joey" finally ended it, saying we were going to fast... I no longer had anyone to cover up the sadness that they left me, and started to cry everyday waiting for them to come back to me. I became obsessed and eventually had thoughts of suicide, but I never did have the courage to cut into my arm. In my mind I knew no one would want me anymore from the terrible thing I've done to "------", and decided to never love again. All I ever wanted was Jerome's attention and acceptance, I had eventually got it but lost it so easily.

"Yes, this whole relationship thing was over the Internet, but it didn't matter to me because I felt so close to him that even distance couldn't tear me apart from him, I know it was naive of me to think it would last even though I cheated on him, I still hoped the relationship would still make it through"

Suzyjoe

February 23, 2012 @ (california)

Tags: bestfriend, heartbreak

Ok so he's my bestfriend and all that crap.. He went out with both of my girl bestfriends and apparently "loved" them..but then he falls "in love" with me and stuff and asks me out and I of course said yes. But then he gets suspended from school and I don't see him for about 3 weeks I don't talk w him or communicate in any way w him and its driving me crazy! And sO he finally gets his Facebook back and I send him a message but he totally ignores me cuz he hasn't answered and I sent him almost a week ago. Then people tell me that he's cheatIng on me but I don't eaisly believe rumours but you never know rite? And so finally I break up w him feeling totally depressed that I did and I don't know if he knows yet cuz I just sent it today.. And I totally regret it but it felt right and then it feels soooo wrong..and now I'm left w nothing..but a broken heart (as cliche as that sounds)

Zach

February 14, 2012 @ (Canada)

Tags: Best Friend, Messy, Life Goes on,

So I've been through a lot this past year and I feel like I am falling into the same pattern. It all started when I came out of the closet in February of 2008, my best friend didn't really know how to handle it. I could tell that he really wasn't okay with it, what I didn't know was that it was because he was actually gay too. So a few months after I came out out he eventually told me he was fine with it, and it was one of the happiest moments of my life. As time passed I noticed a change in him and then in July of 2009 he came out to me, and my reaction was well a little surprised. I never would have thought he was ever gay, he tried so hard to conceal that he was gay, he even dated and slept with girls, so it took some real evidence to prove that he wasn't messing with me. So he told me about the guy he had been seeing and it was all fine and dandy. Since I had met my best friend I always found him attractive, but now he was actually available. Summer turned to fall and soon enough he told me that he wasn't gay anymore, that 'it was a lifestyle choice he didn't wish to pursue.' I didn't believe him then and I don't believe him now mostly because I've seen him on a gay dating site recently. But never the less I still really liked him. He showed me this dating site that he used to meet guys and he signed me up, even though 'he wasn't gay anymore' he always insisted that I go out and meet guys, he was rather adamant which I found a bit odd, considering he was never interested in my love life before. Things began to get messy when he started to act out and act well a little recklessly, mostly because we and all of our friends were turning 19 and could start drinking, so he'd drive drunk, and he would do just do the dumbest things. This behavior went on for a year which brings us to 2011. 2011 was a very hard year for me. One day in the middle of July and I don't know the exact date, but he came over with some stuff I left at his house and he handed the items to me. I asked what was wrong and if he wanted to get a coffee, and he said 'Why would we do that?' and I said 'Because we're friends' and he replied 'Are we?' After that he turned away and I never saw him again. A month later I found out it was because I had feelings for him and that he had told all of our friends that I was a liar and horrible friend, that I was somehow delusional and that I had gone around spreading lies that he was gay when I told maybe 2 people who didn't say a word. So in the end he turned out to just be a coward who was trying to save his own ass who didn't care who he hurt in the process. Its been 7 months and I still haven't spoken or seen him, in the end I realized he would never have the courage to tell people how he really felt about anything or that he would never have the courage to tell anyone that he was a homosexual, and sometimes I feel like I may have hindered that. But its not always going to be my fault the blame will fall on him and all the lies and all the pettiness will catch up to him and everyone will see him for what he is. I won't vilify him and he shouldn't vilify me, we were both in our own ways wrong. I don't miss him anymore, I don't even want to be friends with him, mostly because of this one simple fact, I was his best friend and he always told me we would be friends no matter what, and I think to myself;I was hi best friend and look what he did to me? Why would I want to be friends with such a selfish person? Who put his own need to hide a silly secret above my feelings, I guess I wasn't as important to him as he liked to say, because if I was he would have at least talked to me and tried to work it out. I won't ever go back because I know if I did everything would be like it was before, he wouldn't respect me and it would be a misrealble disaster.

I'm moving on and more and more I am forgeting him, it started in September when I realized I couldn't remember the sound of his voice or his laugh, then things about him started to slip, and now I am starting to forget what he looked like, I feel like one day I'll need to grab a picture to remember him.