Searching for "change"

191 Results For 'change'

Jeanice

May 13, 2011 @ (San Diego )

Tags: 1

Well I am still in a space of hoping against hope we will not have to break up. I am on the edge, knowing that where we were heading was not working and he has put the brakes on. I want to make it all about him because I do not want to look within me to see that there were definitely things that were not working for me i.e. He still has a lot of anger towards his ex (thin line between love and hate) and he is very gun shy to move forward with me, hence he is probably not finished with his last gal, nothing truly available for me. We do not have tons in common, and he does not have his financial life together at ALL !!! He is pretty immature also. Yet there is this amazing connection we have. OH GOD I can see how I am hanging on to a thread hoping hoping hoping it can change. I know even if there is a chance for the future. What is now needs to be over. DAMNIT !!!! I do not want to freaking admit this. So for today I am going to release the relationship that was. Do a ritual to let him go release him from my energy. What will happen will happen

Golden614

May 06, 2011 @ (AZ)

Tags: love1

We had been together for three years. Three happy years. We laughed all the time, went places together, shared dreams and thoughts. Had awesome debates. We didn't always see eye to eye, obviously, but when we argued it was productive. There was compromise on both parts and I FELT so loved and so lucky. I looked at other people's relationships and couldn't understand all the drama and strife. We worked through our problems and were steadily making progress and both happily moving forward in our relationship. So much laughter and joy, any issue was rare because we got along so well. And then about a week before it happened, maybe two, I noticed he was very distant. I chalked it up to work stress and so many other things. I didn't push, thinking he would talk about it when he was ready. I know how I feel when I get the blues, I don't want everyone pushing me and asking me what's wrong, ad nauseum. He called me one day while he knew I was at work and gave me the dreaded line, "We need to talk." He said he didn't love me. He wasn't looking for "the one." We weren't compatible, etc etc etc. This from the man who only a week before had purchased a trip over seas with me and was talking about our future and telling me how special I was, I mean I literally had the wind knocked out of me. Now he says he wants to be friends. I love him but I'm not stupid. I don't want to be with someone who could flip on me so quickly, who would lead me on for three years, someone who apparently doesn't love me. But, my heart just can't seem to catch up with my brain. I see that he had an attack of commitment-phobia. But, how can it be true that he would stay with me for so long, that we could both be SO happy and he doesn't love me? I am having trouble moving on because I just can't wrap my head around it. And this whole, "We can still be friends," mess. Yeah, right. That has to some selfish ploy to alleviate his guilt feelings. And he tells me things like, "People break up all the time." "People change." It seems like the only thing that changed was how he acted toward me. And people do break up all the time, but so suddenly? So arbitrarily? He said he has never been with anyone as long as he has been with me and that no one was so immersed in his life, that he had never been so close with anyone else. Ever. He still wants me to be a part of his life. But he doesn't love me? He has loved other girlfriends, but not me? I'm lost. I just don't get it.

Violet

April 19, 2011 @ (NYC)

Tags: relationships, break up, love, hurt, pain, choices

'After 8 years in a relationship you realize there comes a point you ask yourself. Did I just miss out on "my life" and live someone else's or should I move on to the future and make this"our life". Well after 8 years you obviously share almost every moment together. Living together, same friends, family is involved, your best friends, you have animals together, or even children, both have great careers, may even own a business together, you have this life together. Which are all positive things that you want in a relationship. Thats the outter shell of a relationship looks and sounds wonderful. The inner part of that shell is what matters right? Well when you have to deal with BAGGAGE. Emotional problems, affectionate problems, ego problems, privacy problems, boundary problems,"my own" space problems, or "I need space". So how invovled are you supposed to get? Then there is the other part of the relationship is where you waiting for this person to change and do all the pro''s and con''s of each other. Yet you LOVE this person more than anything in the world and want to be with this person more than anything in the world. Its like where is the fun and love and when you are looking to change and figure out this person everyday. Where do you find the time to build a future when you are worried about the past or the right now? Then again, you want to work it out so badly because you love this person so much. Then it goes back to the beginning question am I missing out on my life or am I worried about their life? What to do? Big risk. Lose out on love and may never feel this love again or live life they way you want and hope to be in love like that again.Therefore, I chose the hard way; the challenge after long 8 years I chose to leave the one I love its been a year and I still love him. It was one of the most hardest things I have ever done in my life. I miss him everyday, think of him everyday and wish he was still my friend. I know he moved on and can carless how I feel since I was the one who left the relationship. Its not that your getting over the person when you break up, it getting over the fact your not in love anymore and want that feeling back more than anything. That is what I learned.n Don''t get me wrong I have had one of the most amazing years of my life and don''t regret my choice. Break ups are not easy. ',

Danielle

April 05, 2011 @ (Pennsylvania)

Tags: Example1

My ex boyfriend and I were together for three and a half years, we were eachother's everything, bestfriend, other half, etc. We were 15 when we started dating, and now we are both 18... It's our senior year, and of course i had a feeling we were going to hit a rough patch since it was going to be stressful...we started fighting a lot over the stupidest stuff, and then came Janurary and things just got worse. He was a jealous person.. I did everything for him, paid for everything, took care of him, and etc... Well, the mid jan.. he broke up with me, cuz he claimed he couldnt feel my love. the day after wards he wanted me back and said he would stay forever and never ever leave me again.. He wanted to propose to me this summer, and we even looked at rings... Well feb 14.. we were perfectly fine.. then tuesday we started fighting cuz i asked if he was going to get a job in college, and of course he said no. We fought that whole night, and at the end of the night i said i was soo afraid of him leaving me, he replied danielle ill neever leave you, i love you forever and wanna be with you forever and i wanna propose this summer.. the next day was akward and he wanted to resolve things and said he wanted this forever and etc... i picked him up from his weightlifting, we got back to my house and as soon as i sat down, he said it was over, saying we are two diff people, that I changed, and we fight too much, and he wants to be cocky now.... Five days later he likes a new girl, three weeks later he is dating this girl.. and its been about two months since we broke up and he is still dating this girl and wants nothing to do with me. I guess love really does hurt. :/

Nikki

March 31, 2011 @ (yelm)

Tags: nikki123

well, today me & my boyfriend broke up. Obviously or i wouldnt be on this site. No, im not upset of sad but i hate leaving a situation with "WHY" in my mind.

Me & my boyfriend had been dating for a year and 4 months. In the beginning we were head over heels in love; spent all the time in the world together ect (i mean that's how most relationships are.. in the beggining). over the months our relationship began to get sour. Im a very impatient person so most of our fights were my fault. I changed of course because i did love him, with all my heart. But then two weeks ago he started doing the same things i did. Some examples of why he got mad at me, walking away from him when he wanted to talk, not texting him, not kissing him, not looking him in the eye when we talked, yelling at him, or bossing him around. Yea pretty extreme, now if ANYone can believe that i changed ALLLLLL of those things just to make him happy. things got better but then two weeks ago everything i changed for him he decided to do to me. After a while i had been desperatly waiting for him to break up with me, because i made the promise not to leave him, so in the end of it he would. finally he breaks up with me & i tell him how i feel and trust me i let it all out. Funny thing is, he didnt have anything to say. Mostly because he's 19 and still a junior in highschool, pretty lame of me to choose a dumb onee. All in all im glad we arent together i can focus on me now and stop worrying about weather or not HE'S happy..

Annie

March 28, 2011 @ (Illinois)

Tags: Lies, Manipulation

I started dating a guy after we met online. He was great and we immediately hit it off. He was living proof that good guys still existed and I found myself starting to let go of the wall I had built after years of childhood abuse. After a couple weeks of dating he told me that he was falling for me, so I decided that it was time to tell him of my abusive past and the issues that came with it, which was when he told me that he would never do that to me(as he was crying through my stories). Soon, I decided that I was ready to lose my virginity to him, one of the last walls I had held on to. About a week after this happened, he started to pull away but insisted that everything was okay and blamed it on his cold. Shortly after Valentine's Day, he told me that he was a recovering sex addict, something he only told two other people. Having learned to face problems head on instead of running away, I told him that I would help however I could. Plus, I also felt like I would be a b*tch for breaking up with him when he was at a low point already. This went on for a few weeks, while he kept assuring me that our relationship was doing great. Gradually he started to change from the man I had met and into a total stranger, cussing all the time and never happy. Yesterday, he invited me to his house for lunch after going to church. That's when he decided to tell me that he felt incapable of any emotion, especially love. Wouldn't look me in the eye at all and just kept trying to lead me to broach the subject of breaking up. I knew it was all lies, but I played dumb, just trying to make him feel more horrible. He wouldn't even walk me to the door. I just can't understand why he couldn't just grow a pair and break up with me honestly. I feel so used.

Crushed

March 23, 2011 @ (Georgia)

Tags: ruthless

I was with my guy for over 6 years and i was 7 months pregnant, well a month before i found out i was pregnant he changed, he was always angry and he acted like he despised my touch. well i sorta knew what it was but i was going through the hormones of pregnancy and i just ignored it. well i was bored so i drove to his job to surprise him when he got off so we could maybe go get something to eat, well for all tn he women out there who have experienced this you know what im about to describe, a woman came out and was standing next to a truck she worked there and i got that gut feeling that there was something wrong so i couldnt stop staring at her. then he comes out and the first thing he says is, why are you here, and then walks away to go talk to that b****. i stood there in disbelief so i began to cry and i stormed off, well he turns out was in the beginning stages of a relationship with her and they only went as far as kissing. but fast forward to when i was 7 months pregnant. he was still acting crazy even though we had moved way across the country so i guess he was upset i caught him i dont know but he was still being a jerk. so i ask him when will get married since we already started a family and we been together for so long, well that bastard tells me that he doesnt want to marry me anymore cause he doesnt think im the "one" anymore so he doesnt want to risk marrying me if its just a big mistake. his words exactly. well being pregnant, that far along as well, you can imagine the devastation i felt. well since he was gonna just abandon me and our unborn child i dug through his emails the next day and he told that trick that he was gonna leave and go back home. well being pregnant and knowing that the father is gonna just abandon you and your child will crush anybody's heart.

Kiana Boxdale

March 21, 2011 @ (Ohio)

Tags: breakup

So we had Carrer Day at my school , I wasnt all too excited except for the fact that i got out of class for a whole day . We had Seniors who were our leaders and they helped show us all of the programs in our school . One kid stuck out to me, he was gorgeous , i have never seen him before in all my two years in the highschool . He showed me around , along with the other hundred kids, what are the odds he ends up talking to me ? Slim but possible, because we ended up talking to each other. It was slow at first, just texting , then hanging out . He was shy, i was shocked, a sexy senior who's shy ? Well , things picked up and we started spending almost everyday together. We would sleep together, no not sex, just falling asleep together and i never felt so right in his arms all through the night. It got serious, we told each other we wouldnt know what to do without each other..then he changed. Turns out he wasn't so shy, he starting turning into a jerk and ditching me, we went from texting all day non-stop to not texting at all. I was crushed, but i held on because losing him would be like taking my heart out and throwing it into an ocean . I held on , my grip slipped, and now he's gone. He didn't tell me why, just walked out . I thought atleast i deserve a reason, but i guess i don't. Turns out he's talking to someone else, doesn't text me back anymore and i'm heart broken. I loved him, when he was mean i would just kiss him, when he would make mistakes i would forgive, i was always there for him . When i do everythign for him thought ; he does nothing for me but leave me behind like a bad habbit .. Being left behind , is the worst pain ever immaginable .

Aliana

March 16, 2011 @ (India)

Tags: Hm

I got together with my best friend. We had a good time, moved to a city of a different country together to live there for a year during my student exchange. We had a good time and we cared for each other a lot. Soon doubts crept in, I wondered whether I loved him enough, whether this was what I wanted from love in life. Only in the crisis that lead to our break up I learned that he's had similar doubts. The drama is that there was no drama. We broke up in perfect mutual understanding, in agreement over the issues that we didn't like and also sharing the opinion that starting new with somebody else would be the best option. I still believe this is right and I don't want to let things get messy by contacting him, I don't want him to come back out of sympathy and I don't want me to try and get him back just out of the fear of losing an extraordinary friend and perhaps the most supportive, accepting and understanding person I met in my life.
Now, it's only been two weeks and after an amazing conversation with one of my professors who tried to help me (and succeeded doing so in a way), I still doubt my choice and I still miss him and the loss of him is certainly the hardest thing I ever had to take.
Perhaps you guys think this is easier as it didn't get nasty, and perhaps you are right, but is there anything that is more bitter than two people who desperately want to be together and tried to make each other happy but whose love simply wasn't enough?
However, this story just seemed different from most I read here so I'll share it with you.

Sarah

March 12, 2011 @ (michigan)

Tags: 1

my heart has been RIPPED from my chest and im going to cut my story short....My boyfriend broke up with me while i was pregnant for another girl..And that girl has a baby..I get an abortion and he doesnt help pay for any of it...Then he comes crawling back saying hes sorry and he loves me more than anything and that he thought about me every day...and so then i take him back...3 months later he left me for another girl AGAIN...Yeah i know its my fault for taking him back the first time but i honestly thought he was going to change...SO let that example be a lesson to you ladies. Men NEVER change when they say they're going to and that you have to watch out for piece of shit guys out there like that!!!!