Searching for "feelings"

146 Results For 'feelings'

Brittany

August 01, 2012 @ (New York)

It all started off on December first. It was in 7th grade, pretty much the beginning of the school year. His name was Bryce. One of those popular basketball jocks. He seemed so sweet, but i knew i would never have a chance with him. So one night a bunch of my friends and a bunch of his friends were at a girls basketball game for our school. We all hung out together and it was so fun! I talked to him for a little bit until he had to go home. Later that night, after i got home, i messaged him on Facebook and told him he should text me sometime, so i gave him my number. About half an hour later he messaged me back and was all 'alright(:'

After talking for about a week, he said he really liked me and he would like to ask me out, But to me surprise he said he didn't want to do it over text. The next day at school, just a normal day, he came up to me and asked me out. Probably the best day ever! After about a month dating he decided to break up with me. Btw it was the day after Christmas... He always told me 'forever and always' that was our little saying. So since he said it so much i started to believe it. I fell for him soo hard.

For about a month i cried myself to sleep. Then one day out of the blue, i was walking thru the halls, and he says my name. I turn around and he is standing there with the most saddest look on his face. I give him the 'what do you want' kind of look. My best friend turns to me and says, he was going to apologize to you for all the things he's done to you. Till this day i regret doing that. Later on that day i text him and say, im sorry for giving you a dirty look. He later then text's me back with a long text that he wants to take me back and that he made such a big mistake. I liked him so much' so i took him back.

The next day at school it was a normal day but Bryce was back in my life. That day was great. But when i got home i got that heartbreaking text message again. He said 'my parents said i couldn't date anymore' I texted him why but he never once texted me back. A couple months of still crying constantly, i try once more and ask him why? He said he was too good for me and so he made up and excuse to stop dating me. I was so pissed at myself for taking him back that other time.

Of course i still have feelings for him,he just doesn't feel the same way about me. I guess it's just one of those 'first love' things, where even though how bad they hurt you, you still take them back.

Its now the beginning of 8th grade and i still am not over him.. Till this day i listen to one certain song and i cry my eyes out for hours. I miss him, i really do,i'd take him back in a heartbeat but i don't want my heart broken again.

Tynisha

July 30, 2012 @ (Love lost)

Tags: Young, love

We had went out over the summer of leaving the fifth grade. He had said he loved me so much,I meant the world to him, etc.. Young love. We had our little arguments here and there, but they didn't matter. Anyway, the next summer, we dated again. But it wasn't the same. My feelings for him had increased, but I could sense that his feelings for me were not the same. One day over the phone he broke up with me. I was so sad. But he said that we could still be friends. But he never talked to me afterwards. Later on I found out that after we broke up, he started dating my friend. I'm now going to the 9th grade. There isn't a day I go without thinking about him. Some people might call it pathetic, but I call it in love. We no longer talk to each other. Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not obsessed with him or anything, I just think about him. How can I get over him? I don't want my feelings for him to affect my current relationship. Or future relationships. I want him back in my life. :(

Alygna

July 29, 2012 @ (USA)

Tags: jonah, angela

It started when i was at a church walkathon deal and i volunteered to join.My sister and i went because we knew jonahs bro jordan was going to b there so we thought it was a great oppertunity to hang out or whatever. And i ended up meeting jonah he was 15 and i was 14.We instantly hitted off, after i left the church convention i went home and thought about him.Days pasted and i thought id never see or hear from him again.I finally became desperate and looked him up on facebook and added him.To my suprise he quickly accepted.We started comunicating and ended up dating the same day we had our first kiss.During the 2months and a week of which we dated we never fought or anything i believed it to be too good to be true.Sadly jonah got grounded for 4 weeks and during thos weeks i became lonely and cheated on him with another guy.Jonah never found out until he broke up with me because he said he never had any feelings for me since the start.I cried for days and never forgave myself for what ive done to him..

Lou

July 10, 2012 @ (British Columbia)

Tags: flirty, distrust

Id met him on the first week of spring break, I was trying to get away from the chaos down in the city and had taken a bus up island to relax on the country side with a bottle of smirnoff in my hand. My friend who had gone with me found her spring break romance quickly and left me to my clouded mind. He (My soon to be love) had an unusual name, the name of a handbag and at first I wasn't sure if he was straight. We hit it off and after I had left to go back home we never stopped talking until the day I saw him again. He had a girlfriend at the time and I wasn't looking for anything in particular, but after several shots we found ourselves making out on the bridge in the park under the moonlit sky. He confessed to his girlfriend that he had been unfaithful and the trust she held for him slowly vanished. The night after it happened again.. a couple days later he ended his relationship with her and him and I started dating. I questioned his feelings for me, did he really know what he wanted? He told me that his relationship was beginning to fall apart anyways and that meeting me was just a push in the right direction. Because of how we had met, I tried not to fall in love with him to avoid being hurt but slowly began to give more of myself to him. He would tell me how much he loved me, how much he missed me and I would sit on my computer miles away from him and smile. One day when he had come down to see me, I curiously looked at the texts on his phone. I found messages that read "You're so cute" and "You have a nice ass" to two different girls. He tried to justify his actions by saying that he had "Weird" friendships with them. I grew to distrust him little by little, almost ending things with him on several occasions. The fear of being hurt interwined with the fear of losing him but deep down I knew he would never change, and he didnt. Whenever I would come up island he would text other girls, ignore me and have me buy him things. It became plainly obvious that he still held feelings for his ex girlfriend once she forgave him for betraying her and I realized that he was never mine to begin with. I could not wait for him to discover what he wanted because I could already see things beginning to fall apart.

Emaa

June 23, 2012 @ (middle of nowhere)

Tags: lifedestroyer, breakup, ruined

ok well heres how it is. im 15, and will be 16 next month. i dated a guy called jerry for about idk 3 weeks i wasnt like madly in love or any of that, but he was keeping my mind off other guys. so yeah he was 19, good looking and really popular too. of course he was one of those tough 'i dont give a shit' guys with no feelings but he was funny enough. anyway, i caught him fucking one of his pretty 6th year classmates. guess where? on the way to school. i obvioisly dumped him in a heartbeat, skipped school for the day to eat my triple chocolate m&s cereal thing and watch maury. ok after a day of that, and texts of 'jerry is a dickhead he didnt deserve you', i got one saying exactly this "You must be so angry at Jerry, for posting that video online. Whatta dick!". hold the phone, what video? then i got a link from fran (my friend). holy fuck. it was a video of me and jerry 'you know what-ing'. AKA FUCKING and i felt like dying right then and there. he'd taken a video of us in secret, not only that it was online, not only that everyone i know saw it. i was about to run away but my step mum came home. she saw it too, god knows how. she got really mad and told me everyone she knew saw it too, even my granny. and of course the texts flew in about what a dirty whore i was, even my friends in singapore watched the video. ive kinda cut everyone off except from my really good friends. i left and am now staying in my house in the country alone (my dad died and i got the huge awesome house) and am lonely as fuck. my bet friend callum told me i should take him to court and sen him away for 20+ years on counts of child pornography, statutory rape and uploading a video without consent. this is without a doubt the worst break up of my entire life ands its destroyed me. hope you feel better thst your break up wasnt half as bad. but i could be wrong if they broke your heart, because thats really sad and hurts A LOT especially when you really really loved them x have fun reading more like i do x

Michelle

June 03, 2012 @ (Provo, Utah)

Tags: Breakup, Friendship, Gay Best Friend

This isn't abnormal breakup story. This is a friendship breakup story. But I was in love and it hurts like hell.

About a year ago I started the job I'm currently at and I met someone there that I instantly knew was an amazing person and someone I was meant to be friends with. Well we did become friends, best friends in fact. Now would be a good time to mention he's gay. Anyways for the last 9 months he was a big if not the biggest part of my life. We did almost everything together. We would text all day every day. We didn't go more then a few days without seeing each other and most of my plans included him or were made around him. He soon became my everything. I didn't care he was engaged. He gave me the love and attention I so desperately craved. And I slowly started to fall in love with how he treated me and then I fell in love with him. But I tried hard to keep my feelings in check. And we had boundaries that helped with that.

Well at the end of February we went to visit our friend at college about 3 hours away. He is also gay. Well late that night things got weird. There was a 3 way kiss. And then there was cuddling, touching, scissoring, and just crazy awkward stuff. But I also enjoyed it because I loved my one friend and I wanted him to be in love with me. But there was a part of me that felt like I was included to prevent me from getting jealous and crazy. I also knew our relationship would never be the same because so many boundaries had been crossed.

Then 2 weeks later that same friend from college came to visit. And I decided I needed a break because I felt to attached to both of them. I also felt like my best friend had feelings for our mutual friend. But he assured me that he didn't. They both talked me out of taking a break and we decided to have a big party with alcohol at my bffs apartment. I knew this was not a good idea and bad things were going to happen but I secretly hoped that with enough alcohol in both of us something might happen. Well everyone got drunk. We ended up making out. But he made out with everyone. It was like a mini orgy. I was physically and emotionally sick. It couldn't be undone and my feelings were stronger but I also knew he didn't feel the same.

The next morning I found out he had lied to me and he actually had feelings for our friend. And that our friend had pretended to have feelings back. When I confronted him he to me said he was embarrassed and thought I'd freak out. His feelings for him confused him. And then he said my feelings for you sometimes confuse me. Something I believed and actually gave me a spark of hope.

From the time of the party on nothing was really the same. We fought often. I couldn't forgive him for lying to me. And my feelings for him were stronger then ever. Being around him gave me such happiness but also brought me agony. I was in love but he was never going to be in love with me. But I couldn't accept his love and friendship. I just wanted more. I pushed and pushed. I expected way too much. I told him every chance I got about my feelings for him. I to him those feelings brought me pain. I was suicidal. I was mean. I was angry. I did all of this to push him away and prove that he would walk away. Even though he said he never would.

About 3 weeks ago we got in a huge fight and I guess he had, had enough. He said even if i was a boy or if he was straight he wouldn't be in love with me. That all the nice things he told me around the time i found out he lied about our friend were actually more lies. That most of what he did day to day was out of guilt and to keep me alive. He told me he couldn't handle me and all that went along with me. He was done.

I was crushed and devastated! He was my whole world. My best friend and the guy I was in love with. It was like the one person I trusted the most ripped out my heart and shredded it. The pain was/is unbearable.

Now that said I realize that our relationship was unhealthy and things needed to change. I knew maybe a break was needed to. But I never expected him to walk away. I would NEVER walk away form him or any of my friends.

So like I said this is a different break up story but a break up story nonetheless.

Robert

June 02, 2012 @ (California)

Tags: Morrissey

"My Larissa", "Baby", "hunny"… fuck. In your head you broke up with me 3 months ago but it took you til 3 weeks ago to really do it. That’s how complicated you are. To lose your feelings is one thing, but to play pretend and say you love me when you don’t really care about me is fucked. You’re a coward and I don’t respect you for what you put me through. You don’t want to call me and rather email me? I miss… whom you used to be, the shy girl with brown eyes, big hair and red lips. I don’t miss the lying little girl you are to me now. It makes sense why you didn’t like serious moments, or taking pictures, or being around my family at times, and why you acted up, said disrespectful things and treated me the way you did. You’re the worst girlfriend I’ve ever had.

I saw it in the first place when you cheated on me, I made the mistake of forgiving you and what happened thereafter wasn’t fair to me. I was doing everything I could, the best I could do to believe we can be happy together. You were bringing me down, you were making me think I was doing something wrong and you broke my heart. I spent all this time getting to know you; I always went out of my way to be with you. In-between working a lot, skating as much as I could, growing my business, getting fired, having you cheat on me, all the depressing feelings, you going out drinking too much, me not being motivated to skate, bummed out over everything, to getting new jobs, significantly improving my situation, then, to watch you lead me to a shot in the dark.

My ex cheated on me, as you know. Remember we said we wouldn’t ever put each other through the same things others did to us? Lucky for me I was cheated on twice in a row, right? How did I get such good aim with finding very messed up people? It’s a real bummer. I knew you were hiding something from me, I knew I couldn’t trust you and I went to your house that night for the same reason I sent you a birthday card you didn't deserve... to get the truth. No more lies Larissa, take my information off your resume and don’t give anyone my letter of recommendation. If I get a call I will tell them that you never worked for me, I will be honest and admit it’s all bullshit and that you are not a good candidate.

You’re brown jacket you left in my trunk is in the trash.

Life is going to hit you eventually and it will be a night-terror come true. I showed you what you’ve been missing, freed you from your broken home, into mine countless nights and held your hand through the ups and downs. I looked out for you and was there for you. You cover up your sadness pretty well but one day it will all come out when you least expect it. You can’t hide it forever. You are weak. You have a lot of growing up to do. You’re not looking for someone to sweep you off your feet. You’re lonely, you are lost, but I found you and met you for some reason. But someone who deserves me and will treat me right is in my future. I’m a good man, a gentleman, one of the most positive people you’ll ever meet, I have a passionate heart, desire to be someone great and I did my best.

It’s fitting you have a tattoo of a rose, roses are beautiful but every rose has it’s thorns and they hurt, especially when you don’t deserve to feel them. This whole thing is a shame and it’s much too late for goodbyes. Pray Larissa, God knows what you did. Pray for goodwill, kindness and respect. He has been lifting my spirit and giving me strength to part with loving you. You need Jesus and you’ll eventually need to seek my forgiveness if you really do value me as a friend for any of the rest of your life. Learn the difference between right and wrong.

It didn’t have to be like this.

Vonpire

May 30, 2012 @ (Australia)

Tags: break up communication

It just happened one month ago actually
He was my first boyfriend, and my first break-up
It was extremely hard for me and to be honest, I'm still not fully over it
We started dating at the start of the year, so it didn't last very long
But I really did like him a lot
Things started off great! But as time went on, we started to lack in communication
I was also quite shy and less confident while we were in a relationship
This affected him a lot as he fell for the cheery, crazy and happy person that I usually was, but he never saw that in our relationship
He no longer felt comfortable around me and his feelings began to change
He told me that he couldn't see us working through this and I begged so hard to keep working on it and trying to fix it
He told me he would give me some time and a few days later, I went to his house to sort things out
But he told me that his feelings had reduced so much that there was no point trying
I didn't want to hear anything he had to say and kept feeding him stuff on how we'll become stronger after this, and how I can change and how I'll still had hope in us
The more I tried persisting, the more harsh he was on me
After a long time, I finally let go
He said that he still wanted me to be that little sister I once was, and hearing that made me happy because at least I'll still be able to have him in my life
I clearly remember how hard it was for me during the first few weeks after the break up
I felt so alone and couldn't help but cry. I had no motivation to do anything but sleep. I had constant dreams about him where he was still by my side, but waking up was horrible because he was no longer there
But after thinking about it thoroughly, I miss him, a lot, but more as a brother
I then realised that I couldn't be myself in the relationship because I was more comfortable being his friend than his girlfriend
My feelings for him have faded now, although there is a some part of me that still loves him
If I could be given a second chance, I would definitely take that chance and this time, I'm not going to be afraid to be who I really am in the relationship
I asked if we could talk, but he wasn't ready to talk until I got over what happened between us. After he said that I got a bit frustrated because I wouldn't ask to talk if I wasn't over it, but I respect his decision
Hopefully soon, we'll be able to mend things back to the way they used to be...

Cc

May 23, 2012 @ (NA)

Tags: Break up

I dont know what to do. Here's my story.

I was friends with him for a year and a half before we got together. Even as friends, I knew he likes to manipulate people's feelings so that they do what he wants. He manipulated me into feeling guilty many times before and I knew he wasn't the man I was looking for. But my best friend got together with a guy I had a crush on and I was never going to get. He was recovering from his recent breakup with someone he had a long history with. So I started to go out with him.

It was my first real relationship (I'm 22). When I told my friends and family about him after a month, most of them told me they didn't like him. Some of my friends knew him from school, and warned me about being with him. I did break up with him because of that, but I also felt bad and ran back to beg for forgiveness the next day. It should've ended right there. But I was lonely and I don't like feeling I've been unfair to him.

Then for the next year and a half, we broke up numerous times and got back together the same number of times. There was never a time we were officially broken up for more than 10 days. A year ago, I told my friends and family after a break up that we were done and I never updated them that we got back together again. It was just too much drama and stupidity on my part. After most of the break ups, either of us would just begs the other for forgiveness and another chance. Because there were just too many times that had happened, I actually made a promise to myself that I won't say it again unless I meant it.

For the last two months, I feel that he's been neglecting me and mostly just spending all his time with the people at his business. I knew he really wanted make it a success, so I had gotten involved with his business too, but not helping him as much as he liked. But I was at the office ten hours a week or more until April when I had to concentrate on my exams. A few weeks ago, I realized that I'm nowhere near the top of his priorities, and he won't call or text me during the day because he's "too busy at work".

The catalyst for the break up was he promised to take me to see a movie, but he pushed it back time and time again, and I, being very considerate, allowed it. But that last time, I told him to set a firm date and time, but he just told me not to bother him about it, he's tired, etc. I broke up with him through text after I hung up. That was two weeks ago. I felt sad every day since then, I cry on and off all day and night and sometimes feel that my life is meaningless. But some days i feel fine.

I care deeply for him. We met up last week, and I pretended that I was normal and told him that we can be friends. Last night, I texted him whether I can drop by his place at night (he lives a 5min walk away) and talk. He told me not to. I guess he was right, cuz I just wanted to see him and see how he's doing. Like he isn't a bad person and I learned to be a better person because of him. I just feel that he didn't treat me right, especially in the last months. Maybe he just doesn't love me as much. But I had grown to care for him and think of him everyday during our 1.5yrs together. I think of him constantly and I get teary and cry all the time now.

I want to tell him why I broke up with him and ask why he agreed (we never had a conversation about this). I want to see how he's doing. I want to tell him that of he just changed how he treats me I would stay with him. I think all this time, I've just been wishing that he would change for me since I knew that him as himself is not who I want (am I confusing you? Lol). He doesn't contact me now unless its about his business or unless I texted him first. What should I do?

VM

May 16, 2012 @ (Earth)

Tags: sighs

So me and this girl had dated for about 7 months. The first 5 months was perfect, we were in the honeymoon stage and it was full of love. About 2 months ago, she has this personal problem that she couldnt tell me but I can see a big shift in the relationship. She told me that this personal problem has caused an effect in our relationship and there wasnt anything I she and I can do about it. Things went down hill from here because shes become more snappy. We got into this one petty fight and I walked away because it wasnt necessary. She then later on said something that really got to me, she said that I have no urge to fight and that makes her lose interests and she think she can walk all over me. Maybe its the age difference, im 29 and shes 22 but I dont like fighting over small things especially I already accepted the fact that she is high temper issue. But after this incident, I started having dilemmas with my actions, always questioning whether I'm being too nice or maybe I should be mean. This causes big time withdrawal and I feel like I can't be myself around her most of the time. Since Valentine, we stopped having sex because she has this health issue (i know it wasnt an excuse cuz she has many doctor visits). And then comes the personal problems, she stopped making time for me but rather stay busy with work, school and her friends. A kiss becomes a peck on the lips, holding hands become very vague. The only thing I feel like we truly still had was we still called each other sweet names and quick kisses here and there. I tried to understand and deal with it because I respect her space/time to deal with personal problems. It wasnt easy but I had friends to talk to and helped me through it. About a week ago, we took off on a cruise and the entire time I had to play the "careless attitude" game and to her, I came off as blunt and rude. So be it but I didnt have any more rooms to suppress my feelings about the situation. Then on the way home from the cruise, my ex started venting about her relationship to me (note that she does talked to her ex and whenever my ex contacted me before I always let her know and she said she doesnt care, we have that trust) so I was in a venting mode and vented back. After a few texts, I realized this is wrong because my ex started to tell me if this girl doesnt treat you right then leave her. That doesnt help me, I felt like my ex was trashing on my relationship so I stopped and deleted the thread. My current girlfriend saw that i was texting the ex and later checked my phone but only saw the last part of the message (which said my bf stopped talking to me and walked out of the room, she was venting). To her, this is a dishonest act that I deleted the message, she thinks I have something to hide and she said she lost complete trust in me. I understand where she comes from but I really was deleting the message out of my own guilt and not hiding anything but she doesnt believe me. She said that she has major trust issue and to others this may not be a big deal but to her its a huge deal. I asked her how she felt about us, she said that she doesnt think I can ever cheat on her and that Im the best guy shes ever dated (she dated many guys before but they were all the assholes type so I spent most of my time to show her that good guy does existed and always go out of my way to make her happy) but she cannot trust me after what happened even if she forgives me and broke up the relationship. Ive asked all my friends and they said it was a harsh decision but I need opinions from someone that doesn't know me so please help. I also know that what I did was wrong and I wrote her an apology letter to own all the faults I created but it didnt seem to affect her decision. I just feel very shattered because I spent the past few months to build this relationship and it is now broken over an honest mistake, and accident that I didnt think what i was doing was being dishonest.