Searching for "guilty"

20 Results For 'guilty'

Cc

May 23, 2012 @ (NA)

I dont know what to do. Here's my story.

I was friends with him for a year and a half before we got together. Even as friends, I knew he likes to manipulate people's feelings so that they do what he wants. He manipulated me into feeling guilty many times before and I knew he wasn't the man I was looking for. But my best friend got together with a guy I had a crush on and I was never going to get. He was recovering from his recent breakup with someone he had a long history with. So I started to go out with him.

It was my first real relationship (I'm 22). When I told my friends and family about him after a month, most of them told me they didn't like him. Some of my friends knew him from school, and warned me about being with him. I did break up with him because of that, but I also felt bad and ran back to beg for forgiveness the next day. It should've ended right there. But I was lonely and I don't like feeling I've been unfair to him.

Then for the next year and a half, we broke up numerous times and got back together the same number of times. There was never a time we were officially broken up for more than 10 days. A year ago, I told my friends and family after a break up that we were done and I never updated them that we got back together again. It was just too much drama and stupidity on my part. After most of the break ups, either of us would just begs the other for forgiveness and another chance. Because there were just too many times that had happened, I actually made a promise to myself that I won't say it again unless I meant it.

For the last two months, I feel that he's been neglecting me and mostly just spending all his time with the people at his business. I knew he really wanted make it a success, so I had gotten involved with his business too, but not helping him as much as he liked. But I was at the office ten hours a week or more until April when I had to concentrate on my exams. A few weeks ago, I realized that I'm nowhere near the top of his priorities, and he won't call or text me during the day because he's "too busy at work".

The catalyst for the break up was he promised to take me to see a movie, but he pushed it back time and time again, and I, being very considerate, allowed it. But that last time, I told him to set a firm date and time, but he just told me not to bother him about it, he's tired, etc. I broke up with him through text after I hung up. That was two weeks ago. I felt sad every day since then, I cry on and off all day and night and sometimes feel that my life is meaningless. But some days i feel fine.

I care deeply for him. We met up last week, and I pretended that I was normal and told him that we can be friends. Last night, I texted him whether I can drop by his place at night (he lives a 5min walk away) and talk. He told me not to. I guess he was right, cuz I just wanted to see him and see how he's doing. Like he isn't a bad person and I learned to be a better person because of him. I just feel that he didn't treat me right, especially in the last months. Maybe he just doesn't love me as much. But I had grown to care for him and think of him everyday during our 1.5yrs together. I think of him constantly and I get teary and cry all the time now.

I want to tell him why I broke up with him and ask why he agreed (we never had a conversation about this). I want to see how he's doing. I want to tell him that of he just changed how he treats me I would stay with him. I think all this time, I've just been wishing that he would change for me since I knew that him as himself is not who I want (am I confusing you? Lol). He doesn't contact me now unless its about his business or unless I texted him first. What should I do?

Katherine

May 14, 2012 @ (Oooops)

Tags: ex 2

so i have been seeing this guy kyle on and off for about 4 years. we are only on and off cause he left the first time for his best friends girlfriend. so i went for his best friend then we got back together then i left him for someone else and once again we got back together then he was talking to this girl whose a slut and got with her so we broke up and while they were going out he was cheating on her with me.then we were like together and he randomly ignores me and doesnt talk to me and he leaves. he promises he wont ignore me and he wont leave but he still has a record of doing it.this year for spring break i went to myrtle beach and i saw him the day before i left and i wanted to give back his bracelet and talk to him when im back cause we both would get fuked up and feel guilty or regret something. so he begged me to talk to him and keep the bracelet ... i did and during the vacation he ignored me. then randomly he would say eveythings fine. the day i got home he lost hope saying that its not working for him...kyle and me tried again and he got mad at me and wouldnt talk to me. so i went to his house to speak to him and when we spoke he wouldnt look at me. and then a few days he was acting weird. and yestarday he long boarded to my house just to see me... he says it will be different this time and he wont lose hope and he will do anything for us to work out. idk what to do. should i try it or let him go? we love eachother but i dont wanna always get hurt and him ignore me uk? what should i do

Bella

April 27, 2012 @ (new york)

Tags: breakup

We met back in high school, good friends I can say. Yes I was attracted to him but never paid attention to that. he's older so he graduated before I did and we lost contact. 3 years later I randomly thought of him and look him up on Facebook. We exchange numbers and make plans to hang out. We hung out a few times just as friends,it was great I had a blast with him. We spent every night together just hanging out for about a month then he invites me to his place and, we hook up. He admits to me he had a thing for me back in high school too. We start seeing each other and after awhile we discuss ”us” and we agree to take things to the next level later on cause we're not ready. I loved everything about being with him, everything. We often had fights but that never really effected us. The situation at home took a turn for the worse when I had to make the decision of moving out of state, rather far. I try to find an alternate solution before breaking it to him but no luck. I break the news to him - I'd never seen him so angry. Not the reaction I was expecting. Everything went downhill from there. I wasn't suppose to leave for another 2 months though but we started to drift before that. I start seeing someone else - rebound I guess, I was both hurt and angry at him. He cuts me off when he finds out about it. It turns out Im staying and not moving out of state, still moving from that town though. I was over him, I thought. All my things are packed, half of my furniture is out. He lives maybe 10 blocks from me, 3 minute drive. I feel so guilty about the way things ended so I get in contact with him and ask him to see me. It took some convincing but he agreed to see me that night. He picks me up, the car ride is silent until I b lurt out how sorry I am. We never officially ended what we had, so when I got with this new guy, he was under the impression that we were still together and that's why he cut off - a total misunderstanding. That evening/morning was amazing. I thought everything would go back to normal, maybe even better than before. He drops me off in the morning, says he can see himself falling in love with me and that even when I was with that other guy I was still his girl and all this other bullshit. I go to bed, and wake up to his texts. We talk all day and all night. But that's the last day I saw him. The Next day he doesn't reply to anything I send him. Days go by, and still nothing. I was so utterly confused and hurt. I resort to Facebook I finally get a reply and all he says is ” what do you want?” I get the hint, just don't understand why. But okay, whatever.
It never occurred to me that I didn't mention to him that I wasn't moving out of state.
Months go by. I'm with other men but none of them phase me - the way he did. I get in contact with him and we end up having a very casual conversation. At the very least I thought we could keep our friendship but again, cuts me off. Wtf!
Here I am a year later, still thinking about him. I can't have a successful relationship because I still have some very strong feelings for him.
All my friends tell me to let it go... How many times have I tried that already? It seems impossible. It's not that I want to be with him, I just want an explanation so I can sleep at night.
If I had the opportunity to talk to him, do you think I should? I wouldn't know what to say or how to say it. I don't know how he'd react to me..

Liz

November 17, 2011 @ (Seattle, WA)

Tags: sad, love

My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years broke up. What hurts me most are all the fond memories I have about him and the relationship. Every little thing I see and I hear reminds me of him and the moments I thought were as enjoyable for him as they were for me. I know that I did everything to make this work, but at the same time I always had the feeling I was forcing the relationship and that his feelings for me were not as strong as my feelings for him. What I do not understand, is why he pretended for so long. When I used to ask him about his feelings for me he would say I am making drama and I was an insecured person, the truth is, I was always asking becuase his actions and attitudes yelled You are not the one. On top of that, when we broke, he was crying and telling me that he loved me but he could not stand the drama anymore. So he wanted me to feel guilty about this. Would it be possible that he deliberately was acting mean, to see how far I could endure the situation, and finally say it is over because of you? Would not it be easier to say I am sorry my feelings for you are not strong enough?

Anynomous

November 21, 2010 @ (great britain)

Tags: any advice...

Ihave dated someone for 9 months. He proposed me and even asked my family for permission to get married...
Then it wasnt going anywhere, I wanted to talk about the future, he didnt, was always too tired or any other excuses... Then things became very violent, from his side and mine. We both have bad temper, but we both got worse. I asked him to go and talk to someone, somewhere, so we could sort ourselves out. I do love him... but then he's got a depression, I think it's a lot worse than he wants to admit... and he promised me he was gonna stop smoking marihuana, which turns him into a different person (in a bad way) and makes him very angry and irritable and I think has to do with his depression too... so, he smoked again, inspite of the fact he's on anti-depresants and we argued because of that and his mood swings, his behaviour and all that...... he kicked me out the house, i cried my eyes out. I am in a foreign country with no friends or relatives, so you figure out the rest of the story. I am destroyed, confused, crushed, feeling guilty, lonely and cold. Thinking, I could have done better than getting angry... but then we've been together for 9 months and always argued about his smoking habit..... relations are problematic enough to be adding a drug addition weight on top of all... I even bought tickets to leave the country for Christmas with him.......he doesnt realise how much smoking his thing makes us argue and puts pressure on us....... then he thinks I am yelling because I am a bitch with no other reason but nagging; and I cant put up with the fact that it's always his house and he can kick me out of it when he feels like it; that i always gotta give in if I want things to go smooth, otherwise, we argue....
I wish I had never met him, so I wouldnt be in this position now. I'm 30 and feel terribly sad and lonely, with no friends, family or place to go. I can't talk to anyone, cuz I dont have friends in here really, so I am writing this here, so I can get it out of my chest... I love him so much but I dont even think he realises how much it takes for someone to have the courage to come after the one you love in a foreign land... next time, I'll be more selfish and think more about me...
I feel left alone, sad, disappointed, heartbroken!!!!!!!!!! I thought he was the 1 and I adore him. It just that I dont know what else to do!!!! It's like a battle I cant never win and if he doesnt want to help himself and us, then there's no point in me trying to get this right... but it hurts so much!!! I was gonna spend the rest of my life with him!!! I even thought I could jump out of a building and end this!!!! .... I am just so sad...
Any advice???

Martha

October 17, 2010 @ (California)

Tags: jealousy, ossessive, cheating, moving on, fake

I dated my ex for 13 months and it's been 2 months since the breakup, but I still feel lke crying every now and then. He told me that if I ever broke up w/ him he'd never date,marry, or have kids with anyone else because he'd love me forever and would nver break up with me. What bullshit. I broke it off, and it seems like it's taking a toll on me and not so much on him.Just a few minutes ago I accidently went to my friend's page, who's also his friend because of me, and saw a post by him and,consequently, his new profile pic.It's indeed pathetic that he's probably trying to make me jealous by posting some pic of him and a girl,but it was enough to make me feel even worse. How do I move on?He told me he's started smoking,so I kno it was hard for him too, but i think it's even harder for me because he always lied to me and probably cheated on me, who knows. He gave out his number to his girl-friend on facebook and I found this out b/c I had his account info, but I thought he'd have the decency to tell me instead of having me find out like that.I wouldn't've been mad at him for that if he hadn't lied and said he didn't wanna talk to any girls but me. Not to mention he admit he took me for granted the first 10 months of the relationship, chose his friends and work over me, etc. I wanna unlove him so bad and meet someone better and worthy of my love.It hurts me because he was my first love and the first person I lost my v to, and I've heard that you can never get over your first love. I hope that's not true.My best friend said she always hated him and sensed his fakeness from the start,and now I regret dating him and losing it to him. I may have cheated on him twice, but I never felt so guilty because he treated me so bad. He started trying to control how I dress and what I do.He was so jealous and possessive,but deep down I knew he was just using me for sex and cus he wanted to have his cake and eat it too. It's just so hard to move on after knowing his family and reminscing about all the good times, any advice for me?

Alex

August 03, 2010 @ (Atlanta, GA)

Tags: Parent Interference

Sometimes when you try too hard, you end up destroying everything.

Early last month, I had traveled to Germany to visit my girlfriend that had just completed a semester studying abroad in China. Her family has a home in Germany, and I was invited to fly over and have my long-awaited reunion with her. While my heart was joyful to have her in my arms again, I was about to face unprecedented circumstances ultimately leading to our relationship's demise.

For the first four days in Germany, the food was completely not agreeing with my stomach, causing much discomfort. Instead of complaining about her mother's cooking, I tried my best to eat what I could and be respectful. If the ordeal ended there, it would have been no big deal. Then Sunday's emergency hit.

Her family and I traveled by bike to a neighboring village to watch a parade. Unknowingly, I experienced the most emasculating injury possible while in route. Thirty minutes into the parade, I started to experience pain in my "manhood area." After excusing myself from the group, I went into a local bar, ordered a drink and went to the bathroom to find an unprecedented swelling of one of my testicles. (Thank God for anonymity, because naturally this is a truly embarrassing moment.) After this discovery, I exited the bathroom, quickly consumed my drink and swiftly exited back to the street. I told my girlfriend I immediately needed to get to the hospital, and word started to spread among the family. Without any option for a taxi or ambulance, we were forced to ride by bicycle to the hospital. Upon arrival, I was laid out in an examination room with my girlfriend and her mother standing at the end of the table, with my full injury on display. This was necessary, as I do not speak German and needed translation. I was diagnosed with Testicular Torsion and required immediate surgery. The procedure was a success, and I departed the hospital the following day to return to the family's house.

Back in their house, I was laid out in pain, recovering from my procedure. During this time, the whole family was working on renovating the bottom floor of the house. I felt guilty that I could not assist in their efforts, and isolated myself in discomfort. After 4 days being distant in their home, I was able to get on a flight back to America to see my English-speaking Doctor. My girlfriend would stay behind with the intention of traveling back the following week. We were on the verge of having a normal relationship, once again, after being separated for 5 months.

Then I inadvertently screwed up with her parents. The day following my arrival back to America, I wrote her parents an email attempting to explain my bad behavior during my stay in Germany. I thanked them for their hospitality, and humbled myself to any criticism they may have possessed. This letter was taken as an attack, and I received a reply 3 days later criticizing me for being snide and lacking self-confidence. They trivialized my relationship with their daughter and made the determination that I was not good enough to be with her. Thirty minutes later, and just one week after my medical emergency, my girlfriend broke up with me over Skype.

Instead of traveling back to America, she has stayed in Germany for another two weeks. She has only listened to her parents about their limited view of my conduct. She will not talk to me and will not stand up for the love we genuinely found together.

She returns to America tomorrow, from my understanding. I'm not going to harass her, but I'm truly devastated to have lost her. Hopefully her friends will help her form her own opinion of things.

If you've read this far, thank you. I felt compelled to write the whole background as I'm so very confused by these circumstances. There is no take-away lesson from this experience, and that almost makes it harder to recover from and rationalize.

Danielle

February 24, 2010 @ (Oregon)

Tags: Cheating, jail

I found out my husband was cheating and I confronted him. When I asked her name he hesitated then said

Husband "Do you want me to be happy?"
Me " Just be a man and admit it."
Husband " I work with her, her name is xxxxx".
At that point I was so angry I reached out to slap his face, He locked me and pushed me down. I got up and tried to slap him again but he pushed me against the wall and held me there. I grabbed his neck and pushed him away. I then walked out of the room and told him to pack his bags and never come back. The he (are ready for it??) He CALLED THE POLICE AND SAIDHE HAD BEEN ABUSED! The police showed up and becasue he had nail marks on his neck they took me to jail. I spent the night in jail. Then he insisted the DA charge me with a felony which could result in 1 year in jail. For the next year and a half, I waited to go to trial while he used the threat of taking my kids away from me as a weapon.

I was found not guilty but he still insists I am an abuser and I lied.

Before you judge... He is 6ft 2 240lbs and I am 5ft 3 and 150 lbs. He has also punched my 17 yr old son (his stepson)and then called the police on him when he fought back.

Time-Filler

November 11, 2009 @ (East Coast)

Tags: dumped, ex, time filler

I used to be shy around guys (I was messed up with commitment and trust issues). Usually a guy would give up pursuing me cause I would always push them away. One time this guy didn't give up so I thought I would give it a chance. I mean, I can't be alone forever! So we start hanging out and he tell everyone we are dating and it is serious. News to me. After after about 3 months he has a work party that I am not allowed to go to. He told me a month in advance so I didn't really care. Then I find out his ex (who he used to work with) will be there. A few days later he breaks up with me claiming that I made him feel guilty for talking to his ex. First of all, I'm not sure how i did that because I never complained or anything. So I tell him maybe he is still in love with her. He tells me "no" and then proceeds to recite a laundry list of everything that was wrong with me. He got back with his ex and they have been together for a year. I'm just pissed he didn't have the balls to tell me the truth! I wasn't that into him anyway. But I did feel like I was a time-filler until his ex was done having her "fun" an wanted him back. That wasn't the best feeling in the world.