Searching for "pen"

414 Results For 'pen'

Danielle

March 31, 2011 @ (Chicago)

Tags: breakup, first, relationship, heartbroken

My boyfriend and I were together for just over two years. It was the first serious relationship either of us had been in, and we were in love. He fought hard to win me over, and he made me feel more special than I have ever felt in my life. He was my world. I trusted him completely and never in my wildest dreams imagined that he could break my heart.

During the last few months of our relationship, I felt a subtle shift. It was nothing to raise any alarms, but I definitely noticed it. I realized that I was usually the one to initiate affection, or to plan an outing, or even to call. He was still kind and loving, but it felt as though his passion had faded.

I confronted him about it. I asked him if he was still in love with me. The moment I said it, I regretted it. He suddenly looked very confused, and the second he began talking I knew I had opened Pandora's Box. With a pained look in his eyes, he told me he wasn't sure anymore -- that our relationship had become "comfortable." He said he needed time to think.

After a week without contact, he he came over to my apartment. I felt optimistic; I was convinced that we would just end up having a serious talk addressing the inevitable loss of the puppy love stage in our relationship. I was wrong. He told me that he was no longer in love with me, that he no longer wanted to be my boyfriend, but he couldn't imagine losing me as a friend. In that moment I felt my world collapse. I pleaded with him to reconsider, I begged him to stay. Nothing I said had any effect, and he left my place in tears.

It's been six months since I've seen him, and my heart is still in pieces. Our parting was so sudden, I still feel like I'm in shock. After a few months of trying to remain his friend, I quit. The pain of being platonic was too great for me, and my pain was too great for him. Now I'm too scared to reach out to him again for fear of the pain that comes with knowing you've been replaced. All I want is to be back in his arms, but he's let me go and hasn't looked back.

Nikki

March 31, 2011 @ (yelm)

Tags: nikki123

well, today me & my boyfriend broke up. Obviously or i wouldnt be on this site. No, im not upset of sad but i hate leaving a situation with "WHY" in my mind.

Me & my boyfriend had been dating for a year and 4 months. In the beginning we were head over heels in love; spent all the time in the world together ect (i mean that's how most relationships are.. in the beggining). over the months our relationship began to get sour. Im a very impatient person so most of our fights were my fault. I changed of course because i did love him, with all my heart. But then two weeks ago he started doing the same things i did. Some examples of why he got mad at me, walking away from him when he wanted to talk, not texting him, not kissing him, not looking him in the eye when we talked, yelling at him, or bossing him around. Yea pretty extreme, now if ANYone can believe that i changed ALLLLLL of those things just to make him happy. things got better but then two weeks ago everything i changed for him he decided to do to me. After a while i had been desperatly waiting for him to break up with me, because i made the promise not to leave him, so in the end of it he would. finally he breaks up with me & i tell him how i feel and trust me i let it all out. Funny thing is, he didnt have anything to say. Mostly because he's 19 and still a junior in highschool, pretty lame of me to choose a dumb onee. All in all im glad we arent together i can focus on me now and stop worrying about weather or not HE'S happy..

Annie

March 28, 2011 @ (Illinois)

Tags: Lies, Manipulation

I started dating a guy after we met online. He was great and we immediately hit it off. He was living proof that good guys still existed and I found myself starting to let go of the wall I had built after years of childhood abuse. After a couple weeks of dating he told me that he was falling for me, so I decided that it was time to tell him of my abusive past and the issues that came with it, which was when he told me that he would never do that to me(as he was crying through my stories). Soon, I decided that I was ready to lose my virginity to him, one of the last walls I had held on to. About a week after this happened, he started to pull away but insisted that everything was okay and blamed it on his cold. Shortly after Valentine's Day, he told me that he was a recovering sex addict, something he only told two other people. Having learned to face problems head on instead of running away, I told him that I would help however I could. Plus, I also felt like I would be a b*tch for breaking up with him when he was at a low point already. This went on for a few weeks, while he kept assuring me that our relationship was doing great. Gradually he started to change from the man I had met and into a total stranger, cussing all the time and never happy. Yesterday, he invited me to his house for lunch after going to church. That's when he decided to tell me that he felt incapable of any emotion, especially love. Wouldn't look me in the eye at all and just kept trying to lead me to broach the subject of breaking up. I knew it was all lies, but I played dumb, just trying to make him feel more horrible. He wouldn't even walk me to the door. I just can't understand why he couldn't just grow a pair and break up with me honestly. I feel so used.

Kiana Boxdale

March 21, 2011 @ (Ohio)

Tags: breakup

So we had Carrer Day at my school , I wasnt all too excited except for the fact that i got out of class for a whole day . We had Seniors who were our leaders and they helped show us all of the programs in our school . One kid stuck out to me, he was gorgeous , i have never seen him before in all my two years in the highschool . He showed me around , along with the other hundred kids, what are the odds he ends up talking to me ? Slim but possible, because we ended up talking to each other. It was slow at first, just texting , then hanging out . He was shy, i was shocked, a sexy senior who's shy ? Well , things picked up and we started spending almost everyday together. We would sleep together, no not sex, just falling asleep together and i never felt so right in his arms all through the night. It got serious, we told each other we wouldnt know what to do without each other..then he changed. Turns out he wasn't so shy, he starting turning into a jerk and ditching me, we went from texting all day non-stop to not texting at all. I was crushed, but i held on because losing him would be like taking my heart out and throwing it into an ocean . I held on , my grip slipped, and now he's gone. He didn't tell me why, just walked out . I thought atleast i deserve a reason, but i guess i don't. Turns out he's talking to someone else, doesn't text me back anymore and i'm heart broken. I loved him, when he was mean i would just kiss him, when he would make mistakes i would forgive, i was always there for him . When i do everythign for him thought ; he does nothing for me but leave me behind like a bad habbit .. Being left behind , is the worst pain ever immaginable .

El

March 16, 2011 @ (NY)

Tags: Youthinkyouhaditbad?

Just a bit of history: My boyfriend and I met our first semester in law school, and dated for 16 months. The first major problem happened about 7 months into our relationship, when I found out I was pregnant and had to have an abortion. My appointment was on a Friday, the day my boyfriend planned to drive to Indianapolis for a Pokemon tournament with his buddies. Yes, a Pokemon tournament. He DID drive me to the appointment, after initially saying he wouldn't because of the tournament, but after it was over, tucked me in at my apartment and shot down to Indy for the remainder of the weekend. Then, in October, I found 2 Craigslist postings by him, one looking for a dude to have sex with, and the other looking for a male to female transexual to have sex with. I wish I were joking. Like a moron in love, I stayed with him. On the night February 12th, 2011, he told me that we were going to be together forever, and have healthy children--something he's said before. The next morning, the day before Valentine's Day, I called him to solidify some plans we had, and he dumped me. For the past month, he has strung me along, and I've been too blindly in love to let him go. Even after breaking up, we agreed to go to our law school's ball together. We had a fight, and I invited someone else, but he told me that he still wanted to go with me and was upset I had purchased another ticket. So we decided that we'd still go together, and he reiterated how happy he was that we were.
Finally, I find out he has been talking to another girl (not from him, of course),and a few days ago, he told me he can't take me to ball, even as a friend, because he can't commit to something 3 weeks away when he doesn't know what his "status" will be.

This guy, who is Mr. Popular in law school, has everyone fooled BUT me. Good riddance.

Catalina

March 12, 2011 @ (california)

Tags: 2

my ex and i had a perfect communication and he was an awesome boyfriend.. but unfortunetly he never had time to hang out outside of school much and well...now my question is.."how do you tell yur ex yur pregnant if both of you guys are still virgins??"..i honestly dont think he wud believe me and think i cheated on him..and why wud i do that if i care about him and love him??it sounds imposible because this doesnt happen to many people..and i kno the baby is his because hes the only guy ive everdone anything with besides kiss..i dont know what to do..my ex and i are good friends at the moment..i know he still likes me because he told some of my friends..he just didnt have time fur anything..he was a busy dude:/..my friends asked him,"what would you do or think if yur girlfriend told you that she got prego by you??" and he said that he doesnt believe in a girl becoming pregnant without sex..i feel like if he were to tell me to get a DNA test..i would get it, mail it to him and pack my things and raise my baby on my own..somewhere far like mexico maybe..because he denied it the day he made me get a DNA test..and beacuse he thought that low of me

Eva

March 10, 2011 @ (Kenya)

Tags: Fresh experience 1

He didn't even tell me why it was over.We hang out in the evening at his work place(he worked at his cousin's barber shop)and I gave him a love card I had bought and written for him.He then disappeared for days and his friends couldn't tell me where he'd gone. I called him 3 days later and he spoke to me casually, told me he'd travelled out of town. He'd return the next week. I didn't call him or go to look for him where he worked; thought he'd at least call me.When I decided to call him another three days later, it was the usual casual tone, then he pretended he couldn't hear me. I was so hurt, I hung up and sent him a break up text,asked him if I 'd done sth. wrong or if he heard sth. about me.Told him I didn't deserve the harsh treatment and how I had always felt he held back his full affection from me(this was true) blah blah blah. Then I asked him to confirm our break up.BUT HE DIDN'T EVEN RESPOND.Thank God I never slept with him, but I gave him my sinceremost care.It hurts that he couldn't even break up with me openly- treated me like trash.I just want to scream in his face or sth! I desire to have his reaction, to have him show me some emotion at least!But I believe we'll have a second seating:a second stage , different terms and the tables will turn.What goes around comes around , you know ,'malipo ni hapa duniani' - 'your rewards/what you deserve will meet you right here in this world/lifetime', says the swahili saying. For now I'm Just relieved to have shared this problem. It's halved.

Little Ol\

February 24, 2011 @ (Winnipeg, Canada)

Tags: (example1, example2)

I had moved to Ottawa to live with my mom when I was 16. Shortly after my 17th birthday I met this guy "D" who I fell head over heels with, my first true love so to speak. Though we never really branded ourselves as an "item", we did spend a lot of time together and would make out often. We told each other EVERYTHING. This would only last for a few months as my mom announced that we were moving back to Winnipeg. I was devestated, but me and him kept in contact while I was back in Manitoba.

Fast forward four years... I went back to Ottawa to see if we still had anything left from before. We were still close friends and told each other everything, but, he was not ready to commit to me or anyone, I was crushed but wanted him in my life in some capacity even if we were just "friends". Then it happened, some one made up a story about something I did and he believed it. We had a huge fight and he vowed he never wanted to see me again. I went back to Winnipeg again with a broken heart.

Over the next decade I ended up getting married and having a son, but my thoughts would always roam to "D". Sometimes fond memories, sometimes anger, but a huge piece of my heart still belonged to him.

My "husband" turned out to be a chronic cheater and we were in the process of ending our marriage. I had gone online and ended up talking to one of my old friends from Ottawa and the topic of "D" came up and I had mentioned that I missed "D". My friend had to go offline as did I but we ended up online again later that night, this time he brought "D" into our conversation.

"D" and I talked that whole night, and every day since then. We STILL had feelings for each other and I flew out a month later for a visit. It was amazing, we laughed, we talked, we kissed, we made love, and we cuddled.

For seven months we did the long distance thing, then I took the big plunge and moved to Ottawa for the third time, this time it's been four years together, we are in the midst of planning our wedding and our future lives together.

I know that this was not a break up story per say, but I wanted to show that you can break up a few times before getting it right. A break up doesn't always have to be forever.

Tim

February 01, 2011 @ (Australia)

Tags: recent, breakup, harsh

this is long SO, im 21 and a girl ive been with for 18months, shes 18. but ive known her for about over 3 years now we met online and immediately connected and liked her i couldnt stop thinking about her even when she stopped talking for a year and got a bf i also had gotten a gf but after all that somehow perfect timing got us to start talking again when we were both recently single and after a few months i fell even harder and we decided to be in a relationship.

anyway she recently came up to stay for new years eve cause she knew itd mean alot to me, a couple days before new years she decided that Me asking her why she wasnt saying much and just moping around was a good reason for her to decide to leave and rip up some heartfelt things i gave her infront of me and say were over as soon as she gets back home etc. but during the days between then and when she actually left 1day before new years, she said she loved me and held, kissed me we had sex etc. but when she got back she blockd all communications with me so about a week after unanswered txts i added her best friend of 7 years to suss something out cause they havent been friends since a few month ago, i immediately found out that its because My ex was talking to and seeing a guy her ''friend'' was hooking up with behind her back, which was also behind my back. and they are already in a relationship and all that shit so she had been lying to me and cheating for a good few weeks i'd say. we promised eachother from the start even though she lived in another state it wouldnt just be another fuck around and the feelings were real and i would just move there anyway we only saw eachother a few times in person but i was still happy loving her and was serious even if it was hard sometimes i just thought that it'd make it all the more better when we were finally together all the time and i was nearly about to make that happen before she did this. she tried blaming her friend for pushing those 2 closer together becoz her friend pissed him off when she was screwing with his head but thats no excuse to go and start fucking him and dating him she should have stopped talking to him when her friend did. people will tell me too bad and that it was the distance thats a problem but i dont think that makes a difference after 18months ive been really hurt before but this managed to top everything else cause im just so sure about this girl and couldnt have feelings for someone else if i tried i cant move on, if you knew half of the things shes said and promised to me and made me youd be just as shocked as i am for what shes done. i dont know how someone can just erase that amount of time with someone they said theyd be with no matter what just like that asif i was nothing and i had never and would never cheat on her. i have to cry myself to sleep and im sick of it and im stupid enough to hope she'll come back like she did before because i have theories that the guy only did it becoz he wanted to piss her friend off for fucking around with him but if they bould BOTH do that to me n her friend then they must be perfect for eachother in a screwed up way and im guessing it will fuck up soon and she'll be alone and regret it because i know he can't love her atleast not like I do if i'm still dumb enough to want her even after what she's done cause i feel empty im used to having txts and msgs etc. from her every morning day & night and it just kills me to have those images of them in my head i can never get over it so all i'm gonna do is wait until she stops ignoring me.

Shelliton

January 27, 2011 @ (Albuquerque)

Tags: crazy, controlling, delusional

Years ago, my best friend began dating a girl that he worked with. It started off okay, but after about a month she told him a sob story and he let her move in with him. That started four years of psychological torture. He found a better job, got a house for her, expensive furniture and electronics for her. She dictated his life - he would have to lie and sneak around to have lunch with me, a best friend from school days, like it was something naughty. She was constantly telling him how much she hated him and how worthless she thought he was. She began attempting to stab him - the first time was because he brought her breakfast in bed and forgot the orange juice. She would never let him be in a room by himself, then complain that he never let her have the life she wanted. She told him to propose, but he could never bring himself to buy the $10,000 ring she had to have. She would with-hold sex for months at a time and he never once cheated on her. She kicked him out of the house he was paying for thirteen times in the four years they were together and during the last time, she got back together with her meth addicted ex and he started rediscovering his balls.

At that point, he and I reconnected by starting to work out together again (he used to have the most fantastic set of abs, but his ex was a little overweight and would accuse him of working out just to make her feel bad about her body). She started constantly calling and texting him (he was still paying for her phone bill and gave her three months after the break up to get another phone set up before he shut it off), alternatively wishing him happiness and berating and belittling him. Once the phone got shut off, the e-mails started - angry and demanding money from him. We grew closer in this time and now, a little over a year after their break up, we've decided to get married. I'm not sure how she found out, but she sent him a very angry e-mail (after many e-mails saying she was happy he was dating me and wishing us well) accusing him of cheating on her with me and basically telling him that he should have made himself available as her backup plan. And yet, he still can't justify blocking her e-mails (he refuses to even consider giving her his new phone number, though). He still has the patience of a saint, though we're still working on rebuilding his self-esteem.