Searching for "controlling"

12 Results For 'controlling'

Yab100

April 02, 2017 @ (Canada)

I was in a serious relationship when I was 18. My gf had a lot of guy friends. I didn't fully understand it but tried to accept it. One day her male friend (a few yrs older) invited her out for lunch with him and his business partner. Upon getting back my gf called me to tell me her friend's partner came onto her. Insisting that she dumps me as he will treat her like a real man. He has money, drives a bmw, etc. My gfsaid no and loves me more than anything. I commended her as this guy seemed like a jerk.

A week later my gf calls me out of the blue, telling me Im possessive and controlling and she doesnt want to be with me anymore. I was so dumbfounded. I plead with her, tried explaining myself only to be shot down and blamed for something else. She got off the phone and I was devasteted. I struggled for closure and anytime I reached out to her she would either ignore me or would callously blame my attempt for closure as being controlling.

In my last attempt I wrote her a heart-felt letter and delivered it to her home personally one night. I pulled upto her drive only to notice her standing there. I got out and said I just wanted to deliver her a letter and be on my way. She surprisingly was very spunky. "Hey! How are u? Im just waiting for my friend, we are going out for the night" after 2 min of small talk we hear a peeling out around the corner. Guess who comes ripping up the street? Yup....bmw. "my friend is here gotta go!" She got in the car and was gone.

Instant betrayal.

Anonymous1

February 28, 2017 @ (Ontario)

Tags:

My hs sweetheart lived 5 min away. We went to different schools, had different friends. She had a lot of guy-friends; I didn't fully understand it but didnt let it bother me. I just chalked it upto her sporty nature so she was always associated with them. One day one guy friend (a few yrs older) invited her out for lunch with him and his business partner. She called me after lunch to tell me her friend's parter kept hitting on her, saying things like "You should dump your bf, I will treat u better, I have money, a bmw, you need a real man". My gf responded with "no thanks I love my bf". I commended her and thought this guy sounds like a real douche.

A week or so later she called me out of the blue to break up with me. All she could do is blame my character flaws and other things. I am too possessive, controlling, we dont do anything, etc. All of this was a surprise as we never discussed anything like this before, I was totally dumbfounded that she was saying this. Anytime I tried to explain myself it was responded with coldness and more blame. I was devastated, confused, crushed. Anytime I reached out to her for closure she would either ignore me or be cold. I decided to write her a heartfelt letter and deliver it personally to her mailbox one night. I pulled upto her place and she was standing on the drive. I got out and said that I am not stocking, I just wanted to deliver a letter to her mailbox and be on my way. To my surprise she was very spunky (it was the 1st time I saw her face to face since the break). She says "hey np! How are u? I'm just waiting for my friend to pick me up". We made small talk for 2 mins until we hear this car screeching around the corner and ripping up the street. Guess what car it is? yup..... Mr. Bmw. "My friend is here, gotta go..bye!" That was it.

I was crushed

She called me later that night after reading the letter, crying and apologizing because she had commitment issues (supposidly). She never mentioned bmw boy but we talked it out and started again. Things were ok for a bit but I'll admit that I didn't fully trust her anymore. One days she asked for me to come along with her to a coffee shop to meet her friends. I came along and it was full of guys, not 1 female. 10 male friends of hers. I just sat there and watched her prance around from 1 guy to the next...mingling. I just sat there in silence thinking wtf is this? After 30 min or so she said we should go. Upon driving her home she kept rubbing my leg and had a smirk on her face saying "it's ok I knew u felt uncomfortable which is why I suggested we leave". Her whole demeanor was showing she was getting great satisfaction out of my supposed discomfort, and it was some sortof test/game.

Another time she had a 30yr old male "friend" invite her to a bar for a work party (she was 19) and asked me to go with her. I told her I wasnt up to it but go along and have fun. She kept questioning why I didnt want to go. I just kept being dismissive...told her to go, I wasnt feeling good..whatever. She refused to let it go until I finally caved and said "honestly, we are 19...I dont feel the urge to go hang out with your 30 yr old male friends. Within a cpl days she was breaking up with me again... over the phone.

I'm much older now, married to a wonderful lady, with wonderful kids. I'll never forget those days though.

Sid

January 01, 2017 @ (india)

Tags: breakup

There was this girl who i had been best friends for 2 years and then we shared an almost two year relationship..initially it was amazing..being college kids we could go out a lot and quite regularly but she moved to another state and distance changed everything..the promises she made were lies perhaps...i am an introvert so i dint have friends at all and it was just her but she was different ,she had a huge friend circle..i wasnt comfortable with her flirting with other guys,i even told her somehow,she reacted sweetly and i felt so much at peace,but reality was different,when she came back and we were sitting in a park..i saw a text in her phone saying â€œlove u galâ€..tears rolled and i hated that being a guy i couldnt believe for a girl i cried and that too for this reason..i loved her like hell..however i couldnt be myself and became controlling and annoying and eventually she left meâ€¦i lost myselfâ€¦i lost control because i feel i gint get what i deservedâ€¦so many more serious bad things happen to a million people i know but still i thought she would never let go..cz i neva didâ€¦now its bn 8 months and i still secretly see her fb profile ..she seems happier..more lovely..and it aches deep downâ€¦a strange pain ..a heavibess in my chestâ€¦maybe everything happens for the best but i am still a lone introvert..she made fun of me and laughed it out with her friends and rubbrf it in my face..and i jus kept being broken...i wanted to move on but every once in w while she gave a cal and texted sayin she wants to be friends and misses me but cant be with me..i loved her but i dint kbow what to say..it jus stung thats all i felt..i still remember that horrible evening days before my exam and a month after she dumped me she cald me nd said she started dating a better guy than me and she changef coz it was me who was controlling...i wish i could shout amd scream..i couldnt ,my mother was in the next room...its bn 8 months and it sucks for me..i want to change but i feel less now .so small ..insignificant....

Kami

April 27, 2015 @ (UK)

Tags: bad breakup

Many years ago when I was 17, I had just got my driver's license and was keen to ask this girl out. So I took a mate of mine and decided to ask her out - she said yes. Our relationship built slowly after that we had a few groups dates and my mate (who came with me to ask her out) came on some of those group dates with me. Anyway, the relationship went well for a year but then she got really controlling and started making me a bit depressed which in turn I gave her less attention and she got upset too. We never "split up" at any point but we did take breaks from the relationship. Sometimes a few days but the max was 1 week. One time I got too close to a female friend of mine on MSN (this was how long ago it was) and we spoke quite a lot online. We never got together or anything and I never went to her house and she never came to my house, heck we didn't even meet up to go shopping or anything like that. But again, this made my then girlfriend paranoid and I had to cut off all communication with my friend. We never had sex and the furthest we got (intimacy wise) was just touching each other. I did ask if we could have sex but she was a Christian and wanted to wait until she got married to have sex. I respected this and limited myself to touching - which was hard but I got over it. A year and 7 months since we started our relationship, I felt that she was too controlling..

During our relationship I wasn't allowed to talk to any other females but she took it upon herself to flirt with her ex boyfriend and also 2 other guys who were interested in her. I was jealous and furious - why is it that she was allowed to speak to the opposite sex but I wasn't? I wouldn't be as furious if the playing field was even. Ended up giving up trying to reason with her and allowed her to do whatever she wanted.

Her controlling-ness got even worse and she called me every night before I slept, texted me every 10 minutes even when I was in school.. I couldn't take it anymore and I broke up with her. I said that if in 6 months or so we still liked each other then we could get back together. She said she'd wait for me...

1 month later, she started dating one of the two guys that she was flirting with previously. To be honest, it didn't bother me that much - I just found it funny how she said she'd wait for me and then started dating one of the guys she was flirting with. After the breakup, I had already been speaking to other girls (I had moved on) and I've been in a happy relationship for over 6 years now.

Funny thing is, after we broke up, she came to the same university as me and with our departments being quite close, sometime we would come across each other in the hallway. She would totally ignore me if she saw me and some of her friends had told me that sometimes she would deliberately avoid me if she saw me first. I mean... What? I can only laugh at that when I think back to it...

Michael

July 03, 2014 @ (New York City)

Tags: #BadBreakup, #ToxicRelationship, #BipolarDisorder, #Crazypeople

I met my ex-girlfriend on an online dating website and things got serious pretty quickly. She had bipolar disorder but was not getting treated. She lived with her parents and had a rocky relationship with her domineering and controlling mother. I always got the impression that her parents viewed my ex-girlfriend as a disappointment in comparison to her two older sisters who were both married with their own families. It seemed like her parents were happy with just about anybody who take my ex-girlfriend off her hands.

Initially I got along with her parents. I attended family gatherings, holidays and even went on a vacation with them. Over time, however, things changed. It started during a dinner we had with her parents. Her mother had a habit of scolding my ex-girlfriend about seemingly petty things. Even though it was an awkward situation that was uncomfortable, her mother was very unapologetic and instead got upset at me for not talking.

After two years together, we started to run into some problems. My ex-girlfriend was pressuring me into getting engaged, mainly so she could get my health insurance and get treated for her bipolar disorder. She even talked about eloping first so she didnâ€™t have to wait to claim my insurance. I started to feel that the relationship was a little one-sided. We practically spent all of our free time together and I was bothered she never showed much interest in any of my hobbies and was always very vocal about how stupid they were. Another problem were her mood swings which often lead to arguments, which occasionally took place in public places.

After we broke up, I went out on my own while my ex-girlfriend immediately jumped into another relationship. Also during that time, her parents sort of relented and allowed her to get treated for her bipolar disorder. After a few months, we both realized that we still had feelings for each other and decided to get back together, promising that things would be different.

At first not everyone was excited that we were back together, mainly her parents. They were upset because they believed her new boyfriend wouldâ€™ve eventually married her and because they believed I had caused my ex-girlfriendâ€™s mood swings. My ex-girlfriendâ€™s mother was upset at me over an incident that happened a year ago that never occurred. Even though my ex-girlfriend believed her, I was suspicious of her mother.

Initially everything seemed to be going great. The relationship was a lot more balanced and because my ex-girlfriend was taking medication she wasnâ€™t getting those mood swings that plagued us last time. Around the holidays, things started to turn. I was driving my ex-girlfriend to the airport and my car got a flat tire. As I pulled into the gas station, she started screaming at me, like she did before she was taking her medication. It was so bad that the attendants felt sorry for me and gave me the replacement tire for free. Even though my ex-girlfriend wrote off the incident as holiday-related stress, it was the first indication that something wasnâ€™t right.

Over the next month, my ex-girlfriend continued to act erratically and decided to break up with me on Valentineâ€™s Day, only to change her mind the following day and the same pattern would occur every few weeks. Also during that time, my ex-girlfriend discovered that her mother had tricked her into not taking her bipolar medication and had told her doctor that she no longer needed them causing her doctor to believe she was misdiagnosed.

Eventually, my ex-girlfriendâ€™s mother began to act even more coldly towards me. During an argument over the phone, I overheard her mother screaming in background and demanded that she break up with me and get it over with. Every time I saw her mother, I tried to be friendly or polite to her but she either scowl at me or storm out of the room. She continued to badmouth me and even made bizarre accusations about me. She claimed that I wasnâ€™t serious about getting married and claimed that I was gay. She even told family members that she didnâ€™t think that I was a nice person.

By the spring, my ex-girlfriendâ€™s mood swings started to get worse. One night, my ex-girlfriend had too much to drink and she started grinding against me at a restaurant. After I quietly pushed her off of me and told her to stop, she started screaming at me and eventually pushed me out the door. When I returned, she continued to scream at me and had to be told to leave by the manager.

On the way home, I told her we were finished but she wanted to talk. She asked for another chance and promised to stop drinking. When I wouldnâ€™t reconsider, she got upset demanded that I get out of her car and kicked me in my ribs and threw a half empty wine bottle out the window. The following day, she changed her mind and tried to convince me to give her another chance. After she got her friends to contact me, I felt like I had no choice but to give in.

In the following weeks. My ex-girlfriendâ€™s mood swings got worse and she even got pushy and demanding. When I tried breaking up with her again, she again forced me to reconsider and sometimes held me hostage in her house until I reconsidered. Personally I felt trapped. When my ex-girlfriend and I got back together, this was not what I had envisioned. Now I felt depressed and noticed that I had gained weight.

I decided that I needed an outlet for my feelings and decided to sign up for an obstacle course race. My ex-girlfriend immediately thought it was a dumb idea and was upset that I ask her permission. She also hated that I joined a Sunday softball league with a friend, even though she worked on that day. She always expected me to stay home and meet with her after she got off of work.

The night before the race, my ex-girlfriend decided to rehash an old argument about how she felt that I wasnâ€™t committed to her and believed her mother was about me. The argument continued as I was driving her home and when I tried to break up with her again, she lost her temper and started hitting me over the head with a book as I was driving. Afterwards, I was forced to change my mind after she refused to leave my car. The following week, I finally broke up with my ex-girlfriend after I cancelled my plans with her and she furiously berated me on the phone. Unlike last summer, this was for good.

In the months that followed, my ex-girlfriend continued to try to contact me.
Sometimes she scolded me for breaking up with her and occasionally she begged for another chance. She even would scream at remaining mutual friends when they wouldnâ€™t tell her any information they had on me. I also learned that she was in a serious car accident that some of her friends believe might been a suicide attempt. Eventually, she stopped trying to contact me and I learned that she had started dating another guy and was once again taking bipolar medication.

As for me, I rediscovered how to have fun again. I made a lot of new friends on the softball team I joined that summer. It helped that we won the championship and I ended up making the game winning catch. I also lost 50 pounds and have since competed in 3 more obstacle course races. I even started dating again and am currently in the early stages of a new relationship. Itâ€™s been fun and I can't remember the last time I felt this happy or excited about my life.

Evan

May 06, 2014 @ (LA)

Tags: Hurt breakup

I met her 5 years after my second break up, 10 years after my first break up. She was just a play girl who loves clubbing and enjoying herself but maybe at that time I was too tired of being alone. She expressed interest in me first but I was the one who said "Let's start a relationship". She couldnt believe me at first, neither do I but the more we see each other, the deeper the feeling gets. I try to fix her, offer her a proper job, support her family, taking care of her future. But she always ask me if I will marry her... I will but not now as we're just 25 years old and knowing each other for more than 12 months. Things get worse when I try to bring her life up and she tells me to stop controlling her life... and she ran away from me... She said she wants fresh air, only clubbing and party people could give her good time... Being with me only make she feel stucked and tired. I was very upset but only till she keep talking about how her last boyfriend treat her (and he dumped her for another girl)

Talkingator

October 24, 2011 @ (California)

Tags: 1

I met the love of my life 6 years ago, the most perfect guy. We both had gone through a break up so we used to talk everyday, eventually we started dating. We had 6 years of the most perfect relationship, never fought only grew into mature people together. We were always there for each other, even spent a majority of our relationship on two different continents. We come from two different cultures and I guess that was a difference which was minor to us because a big issue for his family. His parents esp his mom wanted me to change in many ways I couldn't and so she pretty much emotionally blackmailed him into marrying a very traditional girl. I'm so heart broken i'm not mad at him because I know first hand how controlling and abusive his mother is. I feel sad for him and I feel sad that two people who are so perfect for each other who brought out the best in each other can't be togeher. I know I have a long road ahead of me, but all i want is just to see him again to be in his arms. I miss the comfort of being in a relationship. I miss my best friend. May he be happy always.

Say

September 09, 2011 @ (Florida)

Tags: exm1

My story is a little bit crazy but i've basically been dating a guy for 2 years now and ever since we started he has been very obsessive and controlling. He would make me text him telling him where i was going and when i got there. Also, he would get upset if i went to the mall or if i dressed up pretty when he was not around. At the beginning i thought that i could some how shape him and make him more condifent of what i felt for him and that eventually he would change. I don't know what to do we currently broke up because i started my graduate program and he got upset because of how i dressed because he says it too nice. He even went to my school to see if i talked to any guys. Another thing he goes to the gym everyday but he says i cant go because there are guys. This relationship i believe is very sickning,

Asia

April 11, 2011 @ (Texas)

Tags: Young

I'm pretty young. I'm not going to tell you my age, just my story.

So I was in school right-WAY TOO YOUNG TO BE DATING. I was a average girl. I'm not popular, more like anti-social. I wasn't really looking at guys yet but then about around December I found a note in my locker. This semi-popular guy was actually asking me out. I was about to say no when my friends told me that I should at least try to be a little social so I went out with him. He was nice at first, a little loud and controlling but nice. By the end of our first month dating I grew to like him. We hung out and then my grades dropped a little, not much but I went from a average of 96-100 to about an average of 89-95 not much but my parents certainly noticed. I continued to hang out with him. One day I think it was around mid-April when we were out at the mall when he told me to hold on to this box or something - he wanted me to shoplift. I never took it whatever it was and quickly left the shop. He followed me. We didn't talk. The next day he told me that I was too "stiff", "cheery" ---- (Who the hell says cheery?)----

We broke up sort of if you could even call it that.
-we kissed-we hung out-we broke up

And get this! Around June I found out he was using me. Turns out his friends dared him to ask me out sayin that i would never say yes. I shouldn't have. I cried and it hurt, it still does.

After a couple of months though I realize that I was never really in love I just really really really really really liked him.

Shelliton

January 27, 2011 @ (Albuquerque)

Tags: crazy, controlling, delusional

Years ago, my best friend began dating a girl that he worked with. It started off okay, but after about a month she told him a sob story and he let her move in with him. That started four years of psychological torture. He found a better job, got a house for her, expensive furniture and electronics for her. She dictated his life - he would have to lie and sneak around to have lunch with me, a best friend from school days, like it was something naughty. She was constantly telling him how much she hated him and how worthless she thought he was. She began attempting to stab him - the first time was because he brought her breakfast in bed and forgot the orange juice. She would never let him be in a room by himself, then complain that he never let her have the life she wanted. She told him to propose, but he could never bring himself to buy the $10,000 ring she had to have. She would with-hold sex for months at a time and he never once cheated on her. She kicked him out of the house he was paying for thirteen times in the four years they were together and during the last time, she got back together with her meth addicted ex and he started rediscovering his balls.

At that point, he and I reconnected by starting to work out together again (he used to have the most fantastic set of abs, but his ex was a little overweight and would accuse him of working out just to make her feel bad about her body). She started constantly calling and texting him (he was still paying for her phone bill and gave her three months after the break up to get another phone set up before he shut it off), alternatively wishing him happiness and berating and belittling him. Once the phone got shut off, the e-mails started - angry and demanding money from him. We grew closer in this time and now, a little over a year after their break up, we've decided to get married. I'm not sure how she found out, but she sent him a very angry e-mail (after many e-mails saying she was happy he was dating me and wishing us well) accusing him of cheating on her with me and basically telling him that he should have made himself available as her backup plan. And yet, he still can't justify blocking her e-mails (he refuses to even consider giving her his new phone number, though). He still has the patience of a saint, though we're still working on rebuilding his self-esteem.