Rosie

August 04, 2010 @ (USA)

Tags: pregnancy, birthday

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Today is my 16th birthday. I'm five months pregnant; my boyfriend (well, ex now) and I had been going out for nearly a year. I loved him very much. We did everything together, even well into the pregnancy. He said we'd always be together, etc. He went out of town and I didn't see him for two weeks, during which time he didn't contact me at all. When he got back, he was frustrating and distant. But yesterday, he came over and said he wanted to take a step back because he was overwhelmed with how I've become a different person (of course I have; I'm pregnant and the stress he's putting on me is only making it worse). We compromised by agreeing to still hang out once or twice a week, not see anybody else, and let our relationship rebuild itself naturally. But he agreed to take me out to dinner and a movie today, since it's my birthday. It would be kind of like a first date all over again. And I was OK with that. I waited all day for him. When he was hours late, I finally texted him. Over a text message, he told me he was busy with some other girl and that we shouldn't see each other anymore. The baby will be born in a few months, at which point she'll go to live with adoptive parents. And I thought THAT on its own would be painful enough....

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So Sorry!

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adoptivemom

August 07, 2010

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You are a brave girl. Everyone makes mistakes-its what we do afterward that shows our true character. You will be just fine, and so will your baby. I wish you the best. Hang on, things will get better...

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Ansi Jose

August 07, 2010

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i really appreciate the maturity with which you handle the situation. i don't feel like blaming you for what you have done. Either do i feel that your young age caused you to get into this. love has no age. Pregnancy is a very natural thing that can come to a woman when she is in love with someone. I've been through that. In a country where there is no legal complications for a teen to give birth to a child, your decision is the best. I live in India and here giving birth to a child without getting married will cost you all that you have ,including your family and even your job. But as you are not faced with such problems, your decision to let your girl grow up in a better place is definitely wise. Take care.

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Ann

August 06, 2010

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Oh and by the way, it's nice to be able to walk away from those responsibilities isn't it Chico?

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Ann

August 06, 2010

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Selfless is making a decision to not raise a child as a child. Girls at 15 tend to have terrible self esteem to begin with, typically have sex because of that low self-esteem (not particularly enjoyable when you're 15) and most 15 year olds are extremely impulsive. No one on this site can say that they were not making impulsive decisions in some capacity at 15. It happens. Hopefully this is a life lesson for her and she made a mature/heart wrenching decision to give her a child a life.

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John L.

August 06, 2010

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From your response you have shown wisdom beyond your years. You will never forget your daughter because she is a huge part of you. I admire your strength to keep the child and the knowledge to know that you can't take care of her. It's not running away from responsibility like your bf. Its you showing a greater maturity than so many girls. I will say a prayer that God will help you and if you could start going to church. Ask God to help you and you might be surprised at what happens after that I promise.

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Rosie

August 06, 2010

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Well, yes. Yes, it's true that I made a mistake. Clearly I slipped up. That's fair enough. Believe me, it's not new information if you say that I was irresponsible. I'm reminded of that every day by the adults in my life. But since the pregnancy has began, it's been quite a reality check. Even when I first found out...something inside me changed. I could have gotten an abortion and nobody would have ever known. But it felt like the wrong thing to do. I'm not religious, nor did I have a political reason for keeping the baby. It was just the responsible thing to do. But I live every day with the consequences, and I will for the rest of my life. Anybody who says I won't have to do so is clearly not a mother. I'm giving up my baby because I want the best life for her, and I know I can't be the one to give it to her. Even though I'm young, I love her tremendously.

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chico rush

August 06, 2010

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i've said it before and i'll say it again.it's nice to be a woman and have choices,when it comes to becoming a parent,as opposed to only having responsibilities.

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Anon

August 06, 2010

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"Selfless" decision to adopt out the baby? She made a huge mistake and now doesn't even have the live with the consequences, how is that selfless?

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Ann

August 05, 2010

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It doesn't do any good to berate her or tell her what she should have done better. As far as the the father goes- he sounds like an immature dick (No matter how much you love him). It's a great thing that you didn't marry him because he clearly isn't mature enough to be the support system you would need as a husband. You'll see that in time. You're also making a very difficult but very mature, selfless decision to adopt your baby out. Stay strong!

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John L.

August 05, 2010

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I'm sure you loved him but if you really loved hime and he loved you, he would have waited. I lost my virginity * 23 and to be honest it ended up being for nothing. You know that girls are at least 2 or 3 yrs more mature than guys. If his parents had brains then they would say you did this and you need to take responsibility for your actions. Part of growing up. I am sorry for you I am because you are very young and should not have to bear a burden like this. next time you will know that if a guy wants you just for sex run the heck away from him. He needs to value who you are and if he truely loves you then he will wait. Its like I told the girl who I gave myself to to try and help. I wouldn't have cared if we got married and for whatever reason she could no longer have sex. While it is important itisn't what a relationship is all about. It's who the other person is and you need to know if they respect themselves first and know that they will treat you even better.

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