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Gu

October 22, 2014 @ (China)

Tags: Bad breakup, love is about letting go

I consider her the most important girl in my life. Let me tell you why.

Before I dated her, I had three previous relationships.

The first I consider a puppy love; the second I stole her virginity and cheated on her; the third I thought I love her much, but objectively speaking it was too sexual. In between I was also very flirtatious. I love to fool around and usually grow an immediate attraction to those girls who are willing to talk about sex, aka sluts. I was very into sex.

After I got hurt from my last breakup, I told myself I would never believe in love again. So I decided I could just turn back into the old me and flirt around. Eventually, I also slept with someone who wasn't my girlfriend. I also allowed myself to engage in cyber sex with a girl who had a bf back then.

None of this was known about me by the public. I hide it pretty well. I live with a double face life.

All of this ended after I fell in love with this special girl. It was a love at first sight. We had been close friends, maybe even best friends more like 7 to 9 months back then. I just suddenly realize how much care she actually giving me, and how I am actually really attracted to this kind of good girl. So I started showing her my love and fortunately she also loves me. Falling in love with your best friend is just beautiful. (this is coming from a guy)

She is just a pure girl. Someone with good moral values, who can really lead you to the right path. She is also very traditional. So we agree we would have no sex until we are fortunate enough to get married. And since then, for 20 months, we simply make out and have no sex. If you ask the old me, I guess I would have been shocked to know I can live without having sex with my gf. (I rmb I was literally angry when my second gf didn't agree to have sex with me back then; and then I also was very sexually involved with the next gf; and of course that time that I allowed myself to engage in casual sex)

But of course, its more than that. I just realize this kind of life, where I follow good value, be a good guy, no double life is what I truly want. In a sense I realize I had destroyed my integrity with what I did before. All this was only made possible because of her being with me, her loving me.

At the beginning, it turned out she actually knew some of my past. And she said if I am not the same anymore, she is willing to give me a chance. I felt really touched by that. I think that is what being loved feels like: knowing you are a sinner but somehow a great girl still willing to give you another chance to be a better man. I told myself I won't let this girl down ever again.

I hope it's obvious now how special she is to me. In a sense, she was there with me at the right time. Being here with me when I sinned, when learnt from my past and mature enough to know what is right for myself and what is not.

Unfortunately, we didn't last.

The problem was that she somehow dug my old stuff out. My old chat history with my previous girlfriends or sluts that I flirted with. And because of some reason, I also had to tell her about my causal relationship (terribly so, the girl is someone she knows)

It just all started to crumble for her.

As she read those words, she got more and more disappointed at me. She is very upset and hurt for what I did. This might have sth to do with her possible bipolar disorder and family issues that has made her highly insecure. And I am her first bf too. There is a lot going on her mind: insecurity, sharing her guy with many girls, not able to trust my words anymore and so on. So she kept asking for breakups. I tried to save our relationship millions of times already. But her hatred against me and her pain just grew. So finally I agree to try and separate from her...

It's so difficult for me. It's just the first day of not talking to her today. And obviously I am dying. But once I recall what I did, and think about her hurt she is because of me, I know I am making the right decision this time to give her the same she deems.

It's time for me to brave and take care of her. (She has always been the "strong" person in our relationship more often than me) She deserves to be happy. Maybe we can get back together if she can be mature enough to let go of my past. Or maybe can't. Either way I hope she can really be happy. Because I am indeed very happy with her.

She changed me for the better. I am forever indebted to her. I also wouldn't go back to those dark alleys like I once did.

I am changed, forever, because of her. And I am hoping to show her how special and how much I love her, by letting her go...

Not RealName

October 05, 2014 @ (Ohio)

Tags: stalking bad breakup

I dated a guy a year younger than me in high school. The relationship went really well for 5 months. We were in marching band together and were very different people. I was in color guard and he was a clarinet. I was really bubbly and extroverted while he was quiet and sweet. We meshed well with our differences. But he was always too reserved. He never told me what he was thinking, would be quiet often just following me, so I felt emotionally unfulfilled and lonely in the relationship. He also never made any of the first moves. We went to Disney World with our band and we were watching the fireworks over the Disney castle, Tinker Bell flying through the air, the perfect romantic setting. But he never kissed me...and that was one first move I could never make. I wanted to feel wanted.
So I began distancing myself from him. He noticed and started being clingier. He followed me everywhere in school. He would even stand behind me while I ate lunch with friends. It was creepy. Eventually I was on crutches and I felt like a wounded animal while he was stalking his prey. He chased me into the girl's bathroom on crutches with friends trying to protect me. He wasn't violent, just desperate. Then one day that changed.
He was waiting for me to come in and watched me go to my locker. I moved slowly in fear and tried to phone friends to come help me but none of them responded fast enough. So I limped to class and he bolted after me. He kept saying things like "Why won't you talk to me? Just listen to me." I didn't say anything. Then he got so mad he pushed me and I fell into a very rough brick wall. I got scratched by the bricks and it hurt. I screamed for him to go away and he ran off with everyone looking. I got him suspended. But he tried to stalk me for years after that. We never even kissed...
Anyways plot twist: We're getting married now.

I Hated This.

August 25, 2014 @ (Mishawaka)

Tags: bad breakup, sad breakup, middle school dating

Here's to make it easier. Guy will be "A" because that's what his name starts with. "T" for friend number one. "E" for friend number two. "L" for supposedly friend. "V" for really good friend. "S" for other really good friend. Hope it's somewhat easy to understand.

Okay, so, it was April 12 and I was with T. It was T's little cousin's birthday party. That's when A asked me out. It was 12:56 am. We were all in a hotel. Me, T, E, and T's little cousin and aunt. A was texting me and he asked me out. I felt really bad because I was lying to my parents. I wasn't supposed to date. Nineteen hours later, I broke up with him. This is barely the start of this. The next day at school, L said it looked like A was about to cry. At the time, L was dating somebody. So, I got really upset and felt really bad. I cried for like an hour. It was really bad. Makeup was running down my face and everything. I kept blaming everything on me. It didn't help because just when I thought I was going to stop crying before passing periods, I cried right when I got into fourth hour. The hour I had with A. I took one look at him and I just hugged my friend and just cried onto her shoulder. Everybody was asking if I was okay. Thanks for sympathy but I don't want everybody worrying about me. So, then I went down to guidance and talked about it. When I got back, he kept looking at me. I knew he was, and I didn't even have to look at him. He texted me after school. He wanted me to talk to him. I felt bad because I knew that I had to have hurt his feelings. He said he didn't hate me. He said he could never hate me. Two weeks later to April 25. We started dating again. He said that I was his background and so much cute stuff and honestly I didn't know he could be heartless. But, I found out that he could. It was sometime in May and I broke up with him. One, because he liked my friend and my friend liked him back. That same day I broke up with him, he went out with L. Who does that? So, I told him not to talk to me at school or anything. So neither of them did. For a week until they asked if I was still mad at them. Um, yes. So I texted him and asked him what he wanted to talk to me about. He said he wanted us all to be friends again and I said I wasn't friend's with either of them. So, then the next day he told my friend that he could care less about me. I texted him and said, "This is exactly why I said I didn't want to be friends with you again." He told me to stop texting him then. I cussed at him and I just basically yelled at him over text. His reply, and yes I barely did anything but stick up for myself and he said, "Good, now go die in a hole now and stop f*cking texting me." I lost it. I was crying and crying. The next day, I was trying to read the messages to V and S and right when I got to that text, I started crying. I couldn't even read it. It was so hard to focus. And still, he said he didn't care if I died. He meant everything he said to me, and that he wouldn't take any of it back. After like a month maybe, he decided to apologize. Like, I'm sorry, but it's a little late. To this day, I still do not talk to him.

Mai

August 10, 2014 @ (Philippines)

Tags: breakup woes, break up

My ex and I met at WeChat. I'm 10 years older than him and he had a daughter from a previous relationship. I'm generally generous (money, time, resources) with boyfriends and he was not an excemption. The relatinship was ok at first but during the last month of our 6 moths relationship, his behavior became erratic. I was hospitalized for 5 days for gastro and he was just contented to call and check on me. Citing his duty in the military prevents him so. Then when I had to go home to the province, he suddenly had this urge to go to his province eventhough this was affected by a super storm. I had sensed that he took someone with him there.First day of the month he didn't call or text. This made me worry since he never in our 6 months together forget to call or text me. I had to calling his friend. When he did finally receive my call, he didn't speak and and I was just left hanging. I told his friend that probably we are breaking up. He called after my call to his friends, asking for a "cool off" to think things over. He loves me but he also loves her daughter. Since for his daughter, he also needs to love the mother (his ex). So I gave him time. He called after 5 days and it was a cold , short call asking how am I. After 3 days, it was my time to call him and asked if he wants more time. He was grumpy, saying he's sick. Being the ever attentive gf, I asked him if he has medicine and, if he is eating the right food and if he's in Manila already. Being grumpy, he said something like I don't need to take care of him and cut off the line. Thinking it was a bad reception, I called and he kept cutting it. I called his friend and my ex answered, yelling that I am stubborn and dont call him anymore. A few minutes, he texted he can't come back, he's sorry, i shouldn't think about him and he can take care of himself.

until now, i kept wondering: " why didn't he just say he doesnt love and need me anymore instead of using his daughter as alibi?"

Anonymous

August 08, 2014 @ (Pakistan)

Tags: Complicated

I don't really know how to describe this relationship in words. It's just too complicated and no one can understand this other than the two of us and at times even we think we don't get this whole thing. I don't really know I should break up with him and just move on in my life or just try to fix everything up and try to work this whole long distance and complicated relationship out. i don't really know. I love him a lot but I don't really think that I can take this pain anymore! It's been 3 and a half years and we have so many memories together and I don't really that I can ever forget him and love another guy.

Steven G

July 11, 2014 @ (Yonkers, NY)

Tags: love, loss, bad break up, cheating, relationship

I have yet to go wrong on a â€œgut feelingâ€ when it comes to a disaster with a significant other. I somehow can sense the bomb going off but never in time to defuse it. The most recent example was by a lovely lady I was seeing for several months. She and I did not land on solid ground due to the conditions of our start. We shared many laughs, cries, and plenty about each other during that time. I was hesitant at first about her feelings at first, not knowing if they were true or just brought up by the circumstances of her previous relationship. We shared a wild, strong sexual appetite during the first half of our relationship. Facing personal dilemmas and financial difficulties; she pursued a second job in which she could balance herself with. She quickly got an offer to work a gentlemenâ€™s club as a coat checker. I saw the potential for disaster, keeping in mind her personality, state of mind, and lack of experience with the world. I feared that I might lose her in the process to some money throwing pig. Yet I needed to keep my personal fears in check and support who I regarded as my babe with anything she set her mind to. If this one thing could break us, than all my suspicions would be true; if they donâ€™t than we could move forward, take the leap into going public with our relationship.

Several weeks later we began to drift apart, we would ignore mutual calls and text. We did not see each other for days at a time. I began to worry about us, and so I began to call her more often, asking how she was and brought up ideas on trips we could take. It had little to no affect, as her eyes and perhaps even her heart were set on someone else whom she met at the gentlemenâ€™s club. One evening we got into an argument; and just like that, she asked me never to speak to her again; without any hesitation on my part, I hung up. The next day I told her we needed to talk; it was important that we clear the air. No response ever came that day, or the next day, or the day after. I tried once more and she quickly delivers the blow â€œI need timeâ€ which we all know to be â€œbreak-up modeâ€. I tried and tried again to see her so we could talk, all while sensing the inevitable blow that was soon to come. I would go to her apartment late at night, and she and her truck wouldnâ€™t be there. I knew that I had lost her at this point; or maybe just 99%. I took a chance and went to her one last time; even after she told me not to. I gave her everything that she ever wanted, with a promise to be there always. She wasnâ€™t giving in, she could not see being with me being better than the guy that she met recently. I knew that my words were barely chipping away at her wall. She was cold all throughout this and yet at the end she hugged me and showed me signs of remorse or sympathy. Before she walked back in I asked her, if in this last moment, we could turn things around and try to work this out with a clean slate. Her lips said no, but in her eyes, I saw a glimmer of yes. Despite what I felt, she gave me the closure I had asked her for. I wished her the best, and reminded her that I would always have her in my heart. Got in my car, and I had the most difficult drive of my life.

Denise

July 03, 2014 @ (Atlanta, GA)

Tags: #bad breakup #jerk #heartbreaker #immature #coward

Basically, I was dating this guy for a year. We gave our virginity to each other. We said "I love you". (We were in college btw...I'm 23) We met each other's family. We were both each other's most serious relationship. He acted like he was head over heels in love with me....he would say it and show it. Anyway, we were serious......then he breaks up with me.....doesn't really give me a reason.....Oh! and he does it while we are at my parents' house during Thanksgiving/Christmas holidays....I had to drive him back to the apartment to get his things. He leaves. I never heard from him again. My friends (who were his friends too......oh he basically broke up with them as well) tried to ask him to give me more explanation or something because I wasn't handling it well.....and he said, "She can mess up her life is she wants. It's not my problem". He's now in a relationship with a new girl. And you may ask, is this a habit of his? Well, he has had a decent number of girlfriends before. I'm the only one he has done this to. There are sooooo many more details involved in this story, but I'm sparing y'all from them. So yeah.....that happened to me.

Love_love

July 03, 2014 @ (new york)

Tags: bad breakup cheater funny breakup

Ok so this boy lets call him matthew ok so i liked him for about two months and he was ny best friends boy best friends so one day she formally introduced us so he said i was cute then he told her that he really liked me and then from there he picked me up from school and he would hug me and then we were best friends then i guess she told him that i was going to ask him out so i when to the store and he came with me he was just keeped huging me and he was being nice so jhe he told the store dude that i was really cute and that i was his girl and my face turned red so did his and we was walking and he said that if i was going to asked him something i said no then he said i already know what oit is and i was so scared like my stomach keeped having butterflies and i said i cant do it then he said ok will you go out with i said yeah!then he said just yeah then i said i mean yes he just started laughing and he walked me home he said bye babe i said bye<3 then the next day he came with ne to pick up my brother and sister from school and he hugged me and grabbed me and gave nme a tight hug and then he kissed me on my cheak and on Friday my aunt was baby sitting us and she said i can go see him i said thanks so much love you and then u when over to my friends house and she took me out side we when alot of places so after he came and he wasnt talking to me and he he said cece sat on my lap and fell asleep on me btw(cece is my best friends name) i was like what why then i said iyts ok and they were like brother and sister after that he inboxed me and said its over then i said its ok but why not tell me in person don't be less of a man and tell me over facebook. he said that he didn't want to see me cry i said im not crying and then we just stopped fighting i said can we be friends after a week bc it was our one month anniversary and he was yeah i would like that so we stared being friends but then my other best friend told me that he called me a side hoe and he told everyone that he asked out my other best friends so i asked him he said no and then over spring break he asked me out being the dumbass that i am i said yes this time we made it a whole month and then one day. My guy best friend told me he saw my cece and Matthew making out and holding hands i told him he keeped denying it so be for i could say it was over he told me first so the week after he called me his side hoe and i meant nothing to him so now that im dating this boy he wants to get mad and then he asked out my beast friends both of them and they when out then broke up and then him and my other best friend and him when out he told me the only reason that he is dating her is to get back at me
But now that i found someone new he told nme that he loved me and i told him no so now everyday he rides his bike to my house and saids hi and me being nice a say hi back but i told all of them that karma is a bitch and he ended up in love with me and. Doesn't like anyone eles

Aubery

May 30, 2014 @ (India)

Tags: just tired and disappointed in myself

he was a friend from a long to one of the very few people i talk to with all my heart. And he is quiet perfect actually very well natured, good at heart, understanding and doesnt have any sort of bad habits. so naturally i said yes when he wanted to be more than friend because i did not find a reason to say no....
but i did not feel the spark that intense feelings towards him.... i thought that slowly i would fall in love but i never did... i care a lot about him but i dnt think its to the level to be called as love... and more over i dont have passion or lust i generally get bored when he tries to make out... but he genuinely loves me (much mare then i deserve actually)... i kept waiting (careful not to break his heart) that suddenly i would realize that i love him... but it became suffocating especially when he practically glows with love in my presence... i desperately try to return that emotion but i just cannot... so now i just gave up trying to feel that non-existent love and decided to move on... i know i broke his heart and i feel so terrible... was my decision if not right at-least reasonable ?

Carmen

May 29, 2014 @ (United States)

Tags: break-up, annoying, bad person

We were juniors in college when we finally started dating. We'd been friends for a few months and had attended some social functions on campus together. Unfortunately for him, Tom had a terrible reputation on campus, not for being a player or anything, but for being a terrible person in general. My friends constantly reinforced this information before I agreed to date him exclusively. I questioned him about the various rumors regarding him and his only answers involved: "I don't remember," or "That's all in the past." I was extremely skeptical that anyone could change that fast (we'd only been in school for a couple of years!) but I wanted to see who he was for myself so I agreed to go out with him. The next six months were filled with depression and anger for me for a lot for a lot of reasons. For one thing, he would talk about problems we were having with a mutual female friend rather than talking to me about them. I didn't know I was in a threesome! He was a terrible communicator in general. When talking to his friends or an audience, he would be charming, but when talking to my friends or meeting my family, he was incredibly awkward. It wouldn't have bothered me as much if he were shy, but he was able to hold perfect conversations with complete strangers. On top of all this, I witnessed him lying to other people's faces, including his friends and family. Because of this, I knew for sure that he could not be trusted. Around the three-month mark, we exchanged "I love you's" and around that time, the little affection he was showing me was slowly wearing down. He never complimented me much anyway (except when we were making out), but those just stopped. Our time together was mainly spent making out once a week in his dorm even though I insisted that we should spend time talking and bonding in other ways. I guess he thought that because I was in love with him I was going to tolerate that. And I did for another two months before telling him that I'd been feeling neglected and that he wasn't keeping up his end of the compromise (He told me he'd be more open emotionally if I agreed to make out with him more). He told me it was hard and that that was the way he'd always been. No effort. No anything. He was the first person I'd done ANYTHING physical with and that was hard for me, but I was willing to try and compromise. He didn't try at all. During month six, I dumped him while we were on a walk. He was shocked. I did cry the weekend afterward, but I quickly realized how much happier I was without him in my life. I couldn't believe how being involved with him could make me feel so lonely and depressed. I've been single for a month now and while it sucks sometimes, I know I'm mentally in a better place now. I learned that it's better to be alone than with the wrong person.