Searching for "have"

630 Results For 'have'

Sylvia

May 26, 2011 @ (Oregon)

After being with my boyfriend for a few years, it seemed like we were always arguing. We were miserable when we were alone in each others company, and couldn't get away from each other because he was living at my house and had no one else to turn to. When we returned to school, he moved into a dorm and so I decided to end the relationship. He was devastated, but we remained close. We had many talks about life in general and I started to open up to him more than I ever had before. However, when he tried to get back together with me, I pushed him away. As the months went on though, we became even closer and I felt like he understood me better than anyone and connected right to my soul- I consented to have sex with him, kiss, cuddle, etc. That continued for a month or so until, one night, we go to a party and he's all over my friend the whole time, while I look on with a broken heart. Now he says he thought I understood he didn't want a relationship with me, and is mad at me for accusing him of using me. I feel like he wanted to build me up so he could hurt me as I had hurt him. I can't believe I had so much trust in one person.

Kay

May 21, 2011 @ (San Diego)

Tags: example1, example2

We were together two and a half years, living together for one and a half of that, and while we had our challenges we loved and enjoyed each other and had planned a life together. We lived as a married couple and a ring had been picked out at his request. We planned trips and planned for a family, but we also enjoyed each other in the moment. I felt very loved, wanted and supported. The challenges were lifestyle issues. He was still a party boy and surrounded himself with party people. When I say party boy I mean that I would classify him and his friends as having drinking problems. I didn't really know the extent of partying until we moved in together. One of my parents is an alcoholic/drug addict so I started to be "triggered" constantly by their behavior and it reached a point of constant anxiety for me and caused major issues in the relationship. I could go on and on about the positives and negatives about this relationship and how the break-up came about and how wronged I felt, but I just don't have the energy. Anyway, at the time of the break-up I was unemployeed (had quit my job at his request two months earlier) so I found myself financially dependant on him, living in his house and with a broken heart. He said I was the love of his life, but that we weren't working and sometimes love isn't enough. If I hadn't been so blindsided by the break-up I probably would have agreed with him. It was horrible how he kept trying to emotionally support me through the break-up. He hugged me, cried, told me he loved me and that we would get through it together. I was losing a part of me and he didn't understand that he couldn't help me get over him. I spent a week in a haze and then went to work on getting my life together so that I could move out. Within a month I found a job and a place to live (which he had to cosign the lease for and pay the first months rent on because I hadn't started my job yet. It was so hard to have to ask him for anything.) So here I am now knowing that it was for the best but still aching with reminders and the "what will never be's". I want to let him go and move on, but it's just so hard.

Jayleen

May 17, 2011 @ (e.c)

Tags: idk?

hi my name is jayleen and im 13 years old and this is how the it all happened:last year (2010) a boy named carlos wanted to be my friend and then after a while when we started to get to know eachother more , he asked me out 3 times just for me to say yes ; and one day on april 27,2010 we were talking over the phone and i was talking and then out of nowhere he cut me off and asked me out and then i said i dont know i have to think about it because you know that i have no feelings for you in that way and then and then he said aww okay i guess and then i said dont be sad just text me or call me tomorrow and i will tell you my answer and then he said okay and thats when we had hung up and then the next day,while i was at school,he texted me and the text said "hey this is carlos so whats your answer"and then i said my answer is yes and then he said he loved me and then i said i love you too and then after a while later (days,weeks)thats when i really started to fall hard for him and then so 2 months had passed and we got into an arguement and i got to that point where i was really mad and just blew up and started saying things that i didnt mean and then i said "its over im done with you carlos!!"and then he said okay and then thats when i finally realized what i have done and then i started crying my heart out! and i was crying so much and bad that i couldnt breathe and cried myself to sleep and then the next night,he texted me saying"are we really over?"i texted him back saying yes why? and then he said oh okay because im gonna ask out your best friend and then i said who is my best friend and then he said winoska and when he said that,that really hurt me more than me breaking up with him and i started crying so much and bad that my heart broke into a billion pieces! and even though he wasnt my first boyfriend,he was the first boy i ever loved and cried for and i never knew what love was until i met him i was 12 years old in the 5th grade until i knew what love was and that was because he showed me what love was and he proved to me that he was different from the other boys i ever dated and everyday since we broke up,(july 11,2010)i cry myself to sleep until this very day and i regret ever leaving him but i didnt know that i needed him until i left him! and i have full experience on what love is that i learned from a very young age and when i tell people this story,they cried

Vickie

May 17, 2011 @ (sacramento)

Tags: lala

Today marks the first month since he broke up with me.
i'm still lost, confused, heart broken, and tired...
everynight i still wait for his return and yet i get nothing. We were together for 2 years and then one day i receive a text from him saying "we need to talk", when he arrived that night the first thing he said was "i don't think it's gonna work out anymore". My heart sank, i still love him deeply and i'm afraid if i loose him i'll loose everything. i'm trying to move on but he seems to keep coming back.
i don't want to have anymore hope in us because i know he's not coming back.

Lynette

May 14, 2011 @ (Los Angeles)

Tags: Liar

18 months of my life that I can't get back. Funny thing is that when we were together, everything seemed wonderful. He was loving, attentive, and sweet. It was the first time since my painful divorce that I let myself really trust and fall in love. What a mistake!

He told me that he was divorced. He said he was living in his friend's guest house- even took me there! Of course, he wasn't. They were all lies. You know where this is going.... Abruptly, his wife calls me. I guess that one day he called my office on their house phone and she got suspicious. I eventually found out that he bought a separate cell phone just to call me so that his wife wouldn't find out. Anyhow, his wife and I had an interesting conversation on the phone. She actually seemed to be a genuinely nice person- I feel sorry for her. I was also really upset that I unknowingly caused her so much pain- having also experienced a cheating spouse before.

Aparently, he had been lying to me all along, and had cheated on her before. He was still living with his wife. And lying to both of us, using me. When he finally did call me, it was to simply tell me (with a flat affect like he was ordering a pizza)that he was going back to his wife and he asked me not to call her (too late, she called me first) because otherwise, I would be the one responsible for breaking up their family if I spoke with her. Unbelievable! He tried to place the blame on me! And he was afraid that I would tell her what he had been up to. WOW.

Glad I found this out though, imagine if his wife had really left him/divorced him? Now I think that all I was to him was his backup plan in case she did leave. And he probably would have turned around and done the same thing to me later- cheated. Still really angry though. Angry that someone could be so cold hearted and just blatenly lie. Not sure I can trust again now.

Jeanice

May 13, 2011 @ (San Diego)

Tags: 1

This is the second day of a breakup cleanse that I am doing. Yesterday I did not feel as sad as I am feeling today. I feel silly because this guy and I had only gone out for three months and it seems silly to feel so sad. I am 43 and Honestly this is the First time I fell in love. I just felt deeply connected with him and the moment we sat and talked I knew I loved him. It was the strangest feeling I had ever had. It was something deep down within. Also the more I was with him the more I felt as if I was falling in love. Since it was the first time maybe it wasn't supposed to work out I don't know. I know that from our first date he did as I said in my previous post(yesterday) he spoke a lot about his ex. OMINOUS Warning I failed to heed FOR SURE. I know for the future I will run so fast if I see the guy is unavailable. Yet I see with all of the intimacy problems I had had, hence being 43 and NEVER having been in love, there were DEFINITE issues. I see that in many ways he was safe for me to fall in love with. He was amazing with me, and I really do feel that he did care deeply for me. I also got to find out that the feeling of falling in love happened within ME !!! Which is so great because I know it is not all HIM so if he leaves the scene I can still have that LOVE feeling within me. YIPPPPPEEEEEEE for that. I also know that because I love him as much as I feel I do he can be a great friend. I must admit I am still having hopes that it can work out. I will let him go as the saying goes (I am paraphrasing) If you love something set it free if it comes back to you it was yours if it doesn't it never was AAAAHHHHHHH I have tried in the past to hold so tightly to things and it always has caused so much pain. I just want to fall in love and get married, to have a lifelong partner. SO there I am !!!!

Jeanice

May 13, 2011 @ (San Diego )

Tags: 1

Well I am still in a space of hoping against hope we will not have to break up. I am on the edge, knowing that where we were heading was not working and he has put the brakes on. I want to make it all about him because I do not want to look within me to see that there were definitely things that were not working for me i.e. He still has a lot of anger towards his ex (thin line between love and hate) and he is very gun shy to move forward with me, hence he is probably not finished with his last gal, nothing truly available for me. We do not have tons in common, and he does not have his financial life together at ALL !!! He is pretty immature also. Yet there is this amazing connection we have. OH GOD I can see how I am hanging on to a thread hoping hoping hoping it can change. I know even if there is a chance for the future. What is now needs to be over. DAMNIT !!!! I do not want to freaking admit this. So for today I am going to release the relationship that was. Do a ritual to let him go release him from my energy. What will happen will happen

KMO

May 29, 2011 @ (NY)

Tags: never giving up, lost, confused

It could have been a year. it was 5 days short of a year.

To start off, He was the best, i wouldn't even think twice about that. This was his first relationship so It took us awhile to get comfortable around each other, but after a couple months he was like my best friend. We did a lot together and i thought he was happy, he told me these were the best moments of him life and they were mine. The previous boyfriends i had were assholes. They didn't care about me at all, but He did, which set him aside from the rest and i thought he was different.

About 2 months ago, he started to go into these pensive states where he began to doubt his love for me, but he always talked to me about it and he always decided that his doubts were wrong. I didn't know what i had done to him to do this to me, but he'd never tell me.

Anyways, 2 weeks ago, He came back from vacation and he was sad and quiet. He said he wasnt sure if he could balance school work and me, but i reasoned with him because i love him and i wanted to be with him no matter what and i thought everything was fine. We kissed and he seemed normal, we hung out after school and He seemed just like he had before he left. However, the next 4 days he didnt talk to me, he treated me like a friend and he wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I felt like crap because all of that trust and friendship that we had build wasn't there anymore, and he wouldn't allow me to talk him out of his pensive state. After those 4 days, he agreed to talk to me, and told me he just didn't want to be in a relationship and that he didn't love me anymore. I was in tears, but he just stood there and watched. He isn't the type of person to just watch me in pain, but he starred at me. Before he left, he said he wanted to remain friends, and that he'd try to keep some stuff we normally did together the same. But nothings the same anymore. He feels awkward about everything and i feel like i've lost everything we've ever had together and its literally all i ever think about. I feel like he's lost, but he avoids the subject and he just says we're never getting back together. He always gives me different reasons for breaking up with me, and i just dont understand. Maybe i'm just in denial but i feel like theres a piece of him that still loves me and i just wished he'd give me another chance, we were happy. I truly love him more than anyone and i refuse to give up.

Violet

May 19, 2011 @ (NYC)

Tags: relationships, break up, love, hurt, pain, choices

'After 8 years in a relationship you realize there comes a point you ask yourself. Did I just miss out on "my life" and live someone else's or should I move on to the future and make this"our life". Well after 8 years you obviously share almost every moment together. Living together, same friends, family is involved, your best friends, you have animals together, or even children, both have great careers, may even own a business together, you have this life together. Which are all positive things that you want in a relationship. Thats the outter shell of a relationship looks and sounds wonderful. The inner part of that shell is what matters right? Well when you have to deal with BAGGAGE. Emotional problems, affectionate problems, ego problems, privacy problems, boundary problems,"my own" space problems, or "I need space". So how invovled are you supposed to get? Then there is the other part of the relationship is where you waiting for this person to change and do all the pro''s and con''s of each other. Yet you LOVE this person more than anything in the world and want to be with this person more than anything in the world. Its like where is the fun and love and when you are looking to change and figure out this person everyday. Where do you find the time to build a future when you are worried about the past or the right now? Then again, you want to work it out so badly because you love this person so much. Then it goes back to the beginning question am I missing out on my life or am I worried about their life? What to do? Big risk. Lose out on love and may never feel this love again or live life they way you want and hope to be in love like that again.Therefore, I chose the hard way; the challenge after long 8 years I chose to leave the one I love its been a year and I still love him. It was one of the most hardest things I have ever done in my life. I miss him everyday, think of him everyday and wish he was still my friend. I know he moved on and can carless how I feel since I was the one who left the relationship. Its not that your getting over the person when you break up, it getting over the fact your not in love anymore and want that feeling back more than anything. That is what I learned.n Don''t get me wrong I have had one of the most amazing years of my life and don''t regret my choice. Break ups are not easy. ',

DJ

May 13, 2011 @ (U.S.)

Tags: broken up heart

So here's my story:

I'm 17, just your average guy, I play a lot of sports, have a job... my girlfriend of almost a year dumped me 2 months ago. I met her over 3 years ago at a youth group. We were close friends for 2 years before we started dating. Last February we started hanging out a lot. By the time Summer started we were head over heals in love with each other. I guess I was kind of the "bad boy" we snuck out all Summer long and I disrespected her grandfather whom she was living with at the time. In August he kicked her out of his house and she was forced to move in with her alcoholic/abusive mother who is the only other person she had to live with. She doesn't have any other family and her entire family has a whole lot of problems. She also has a past of a lot of abuse in her history as I found out eventually. As for me, I also do not have any family or relatives. I live alone with my single mother and my younger siblings. My family has just as many problems as hers does. My mother is really the only person I have, however, we are not that close. My ex-girlfriend goes to a different high school then me and as we went through the school year her life became very challenging at home. We stayed together though. I was there for her through it all time-and-time again. I even got my ma to let her live with us for a while to be away from her life at home. In my heart she became the love of my life. We had so much in common in our pasts. The same goals for our futures. We could understand each others pain like no one ever could. I loved her with all my heart for near 10 months

Anyways we started fighting because of her own problems at home. This went on all the way through December and January. I tried to be supportive of her problems, but she started pushing me away, more so every couple weeks. In February, after I hadn't seen her in 3 whole weeks (which she filled with excuses, and insincere reasons why she couldn't see me) she called me and broke up with me on the phone. I asked if I could at least see her one more time. She refused. I asked her why it had come to this and her reasons were things such as she wanted to be independent, she did't wanna be in a relationship anymore, she didn't feel like we should take relationships so seriously at this time in our life, blah blah blah. So after hours of tears on my part I let her go. If this is what she wanted, then I wanted her to just be happy. Anyways, I had been the only one really holding the relationship together for 3 months and I couldn't take it anymore. I never texted her or called her once after we broke up on the stupid phone that night.

Two weeks later after a lot of pain and hurt, I was at a party with some buddies. I asked a mutual friend who I saw there how she was doing to find out that she had been cheating on me with some fuckin douche bag who's six foot-seven, plays basketball, drives a 2010 mustang, is rich, and apparently is a big player at her school. This hurt so much that I ended up getting in a fight with another guy at the party. I couldn't sleep for days, and still have a lot of trouble sleeping. I wanted really bad to go find this guy she'd been cheating on me with. Luckily I didn't. Now I'm sitting here a month later still heartbroken. She has made me hate my life, and according to people she's having a great time with this other guy. I've gone out with 2 girls since we broke and neither one of them has meant anything to me. As of right now I hate my life, I hate her, and I wish she was NEVER ever a part of my life.

That's basically my story. Enough said.