Searching for "feelings"

146 Results For 'feelings'

Lyzza

November 01, 2014 @ (Berlin)

Well me and my boyfriend were together for over 4 years. Like many people say the first year was great we were always happy we loved spending time with each other every second of everyday. Then things started to change. He became distant and he never seemed interested in seeing me or talking to me. I started not to feel right about our relationship but I was desperate to be with him. I found out that he was cheating on me for 3 months straight! I was devastated and I didn't know what to do because I had such strong feelings for him. He never apologized for cheating but I took him back anyway. Our relationship has been rocky this whole entire time' for 3 years. He is constantly comparing me to the girl he cheated on me with. He's always pointing out everything that I do wrong and he never let's me be myself. Everything is always blamed on me. He's broken up with me again for someone else and again I took him back. He break up on average every 2 weeks and I hate it. I always feel terrible I always feel at fault. Days go by that he will just ignore me. I want this relationship to work so bad but he won't put any work forward it's always me. I'm not sure what to d anymore.

Anonymous

November 01, 2014 @ (Hong kong)

Tags: Heartbroken

Back in 2012, a new guy came to my school. Every girl was obsessed with him and thought that he was handsome and all, including me. That guy was also the one who made me fall in love with him. But not only me, but together with 3-4 other girls at the same time. On September 28th, we were having a party because of a girl's bday. That guy was there as well, and it came out that the guy actually liked the girl who was having her bday there. Me (and all the others) saw them kissing and all.. I started to cry in front of everyone because I just couldn't handle it..
After a few months I finally got over him. Until November 2013, he told me that he already liked me since September 2013, but the matter was : he was still with that girl. They were sexually active and all. I didn't accepted him or something but I still kept talking to him, because deep in my heart I still liked him.
March 2014, we were together since now. In this time I learned that he has a really bad temper and gets mad at the smallest things. I had mood swings for 4-5 months when I was with him.
In July 2014, I went to a foreign country for the whole summer. He freaked out and kept on blaming me for leaving, he kept telling me that we would break up, and scolded at me with a lot of foul language.
I felt so miserable and didn't know what to do.
At the last week of my holiday I decided to break up with him, cause he treated me just like rubbish. When he heard that we were going to break up, he freaked out even worse than before, he threatened me that he would kill himself, and stuff like that.
When I was back, he was at the airport with a huge board, all about our stories and the happy things we've been through and all the little things that I thought he was supposed to forget.
We went back together again, but yesterday I discovered that he haD token nude pics of himself and his ex, when they were still in a relationship. That broke me, because he never had told me anything about his ex. I felt like I was just being lied to, these 8 months. He just said that the past is in the past, and things like this. He doesn't understand my feelings at all. He still keeps his exes diys and pictures on his laptop, thinking that I didn't know. At the beginning, he made me feel so special that I thought that we would never break up and stuff, now I'm just crying and crying and crying.
I told him that I want one week to think about what I should do and that I need to analyse everything. He begged me to not break up with him again because he told me that I'm his "everything" and all.
I'm just broken by the fact that he didn't told me these things. Every time I hear these things, it's never from him, it's always one of my friends who tell me this. I feel so fucked up right now and feel like I've been lied on for these 8 months.

Enamiran

September 05, 2014 @ (algeria)

Tags: sad

i met him 4years ago ,i was playing second life n i wanted to hear music,i dnt really remmeber wat i typed in google searching for music but the download ended up with a window of strangers talking to me,it is imesh,many ppl from all around th word,i added many frens,from every country a fren,n i added him as well,i didnt imagine that i would b with him but we started talking and we really enjyed talking to eatchother,like to th point when i go back from uni th first thing i do is open my pc n chat with him,n i find him always waiting,2months mater we told each other we like eatchother n that time we just seen eatchother in pic ,he was far away from me,we both liked th idea of having a foreign love,we loved eatch other,my familly knew they convince me to step away,n i steped away alitle,i made my self bz,coz it sounded impossible to meet n have a futur toguether,at first i used to fight with him alot,it was fun no hurts,but just arguing with him was fun,he was so calm understanding kind innocent n sinceer(in my toughts) n after every fight he used to tell me how much he loves me n he cant live without me,he always appologyzed even sometimes for meaningless things,i guess i had a kid mind that time :/, anyway, 2years past n we still in love we use evry possible way to contact fb yahoo skype watssapp,later in a day i was too bz with studdy,to th point i guess my feeling were colden,i was talking to him in video n i told him"i think i dnt love u"!! (stupid me) he cried in that moment,i said im sorry,it's ok myb it's just im bz n my mind is not clair,we can try over toguether i can get back my feelings,6months later,a girl talked to him she said she liked him n he talked to her,she was from his country but not very pretty,he hided that on me for a month ,then he tod me i hide it bcoz i know u ll b mad!,i said ok no problem,i enter his fb ,but he changed his password (he gave it to me b4) i ask him when we skype he liyed on th date of changing th fb password to let me think it was b4 he met th other girl,i knew he was lying by th fb notice" u have changed ur fb passeword on...." i got angry n i cut th call i his face,after that he run to her love ,he shut me off for 3days,colden his feelings,n he talked to her instead,i got afraid to lose him n to lose my self in my exams period so i ask him to try again another chance,we back,but since then he act cold with me whenevr we fight,he understood that he could not lose me ( i my self dnt know if he will lose me one day ) n since then he is th 1 who colden his feelings in our breakups n im th one who get depressed n feel like "omg ,he forgot my love,im meaninglesto him"i dnt wat exactly to do to know my value to him,breakup doent give a clue anymore(knowning that th longest breakup we had was for a weak!!)

I Hated This.

August 25, 2014 @ (Mishawaka)

Tags: bad breakup, sad breakup, middle school dating

Here's to make it easier. Guy will be "A" because that's what his name starts with. "T" for friend number one. "E" for friend number two. "L" for supposedly friend. "V" for really good friend. "S" for other really good friend. Hope it's somewhat easy to understand.

Okay, so, it was April 12 and I was with T. It was T's little cousin's birthday party. That's when A asked me out. It was 12:56 am. We were all in a hotel. Me, T, E, and T's little cousin and aunt. A was texting me and he asked me out. I felt really bad because I was lying to my parents. I wasn't supposed to date. Nineteen hours later, I broke up with him. This is barely the start of this. The next day at school, L said it looked like A was about to cry. At the time, L was dating somebody. So, I got really upset and felt really bad. I cried for like an hour. It was really bad. Makeup was running down my face and everything. I kept blaming everything on me. It didn't help because just when I thought I was going to stop crying before passing periods, I cried right when I got into fourth hour. The hour I had with A. I took one look at him and I just hugged my friend and just cried onto her shoulder. Everybody was asking if I was okay. Thanks for sympathy but I don't want everybody worrying about me. So, then I went down to guidance and talked about it. When I got back, he kept looking at me. I knew he was, and I didn't even have to look at him. He texted me after school. He wanted me to talk to him. I felt bad because I knew that I had to have hurt his feelings. He said he didn't hate me. He said he could never hate me. Two weeks later to April 25. We started dating again. He said that I was his background and so much cute stuff and honestly I didn't know he could be heartless. But, I found out that he could. It was sometime in May and I broke up with him. One, because he liked my friend and my friend liked him back. That same day I broke up with him, he went out with L. Who does that? So, I told him not to talk to me at school or anything. So neither of them did. For a week until they asked if I was still mad at them. Um, yes. So I texted him and asked him what he wanted to talk to me about. He said he wanted us all to be friends again and I said I wasn't friend's with either of them. So, then the next day he told my friend that he could care less about me. I texted him and said, "This is exactly why I said I didn't want to be friends with you again." He told me to stop texting him then. I cussed at him and I just basically yelled at him over text. His reply, and yes I barely did anything but stick up for myself and he said, "Good, now go die in a hole now and stop f*cking texting me." I lost it. I was crying and crying. The next day, I was trying to read the messages to V and S and right when I got to that text, I started crying. I couldn't even read it. It was so hard to focus. And still, he said he didn't care if I died. He meant everything he said to me, and that he wouldn't take any of it back. After like a month maybe, he decided to apologize. Like, I'm sorry, but it's a little late. To this day, I still do not talk to him.

Henry Lee

August 10, 2014 @ (Singapore )

Tags: Bad break up nasty person

I meet my first serious gf at uni thru mutual friends. We really clicked and we dated and became a couple about 3 months later. She told me her last serious relationship was 2 years ago. Then 5 months after we first met, she told me that she had broken up with someone 4 weeks before she met me. And that she needed space of course. To cut a long story short , she broke up with me soon after. I was heart broken feeling sad and also very angry . I felt she tricked me into investing emotionally into her. I loved her and thought she could be my wife .
I went no contact to heal . The first few months were bad . Insomnia, severe low mood . I wept and cried daily . After 4 months, I began to feel better. Then our mutual friends started telling my ex was sorry she lied and then told me the truth later and yada yada. I wanted so much to ask why tell me the truth 5 months into dating if she was sure of her feelings? But I thought nay forget it she does not even have the courage to speak to me in person. So I told our mutual friends not to relay messages for her. When I began dating again 8 months later , my ex gf tried to speak to me. I shut her down completely . Then she stared rumours . I met my next gf and future wife 18 months after the breakup.

Dina

July 25, 2014 @ (Lebanon)

Tags: going through a breakup

No this ain't another happy ending story .
Beautiful,smart,funny,talented,good hearted ?
when it comes to love you forget all your qualities .
You Just love the person who makes you question your own self.Like any other person, I fell in love, well don't I have the right to?
He was a family-friend, and like any charming man he was irresistible .
every thing we did based on good intentions that's for sure . Should we blame our hearts for beating faster ? or our bodies for getting nervous? or our minds for day dreaming ?
We didn't plan falling in love indeed.
But we couldn't stop our hands of reaching each other . nor our hearts of finding each other.
Well it was amazingly speechless, it was our little paradise.
We happily lived together for a long time.
we kissed, we went to parties, we got drunk , we watched each one another fall asleep.. we faced many problems but we worked it out . The perfect life of two wild teenagers.
He ditched everything for me his studies , his work and whatever , i know it sounded bad so i convinced him to return to his old life. I won the dispute but i never thought i'd lose my man.
i was never the 'drama queen' but at the moment of goodbye it was like our lives stopped for awhile , people stopped moving , everything became frozen we couldn't feel anything but ourselves.
Yea days passed and we didn't stop talking to each other including Skype and other communication apps.
We got busy so we stopped the ''talking'' gradually , well yea maybe we failed at long distances relation like many others.
Well i was too faithful thinking he'd come back again.
Then i figured it all out. He broke our dreams, our hopes, our promises , our thoughts , our hearts , MY HEART.
He cheated on me , well gratefully he wasn't the one who keeps his dirty work as a 'secret' , he was an honest one.
Yea the sun rises again letting the dark disappear ,i decided to move on and let the past get buried.
I started seeing other people , letting hope get in, and my past out.
But you know what it was never the same, not the same feelings, not the same thoughts , not the same him. Though they were much better men, but hey love isn't related to materials nor facial image.
He was still in touch with my family specially my mom , he was there when my Grandpa died and transported the news for my mom . Every time we communicate again it feels like magic , the same feelings reappeared again like it never faded.
But its never going to work again . I'd trust him again but i won't trust myself with him.
It's not about cheating, people make mistakes. But he never came back when i left him how would i trust him again, how would i let him in when everything around me says that i should get out.

Steven G

July 11, 2014 @ (Yonkers, NY)

Tags: love, loss, bad break up, cheating, relationship

I have yet to go wrong on a â€œgut feelingâ€ when it comes to a disaster with a significant other. I somehow can sense the bomb going off but never in time to defuse it. The most recent example was by a lovely lady I was seeing for several months. She and I did not land on solid ground due to the conditions of our start. We shared many laughs, cries, and plenty about each other during that time. I was hesitant at first about her feelings at first, not knowing if they were true or just brought up by the circumstances of her previous relationship. We shared a wild, strong sexual appetite during the first half of our relationship. Facing personal dilemmas and financial difficulties; she pursued a second job in which she could balance herself with. She quickly got an offer to work a gentlemenâ€™s club as a coat checker. I saw the potential for disaster, keeping in mind her personality, state of mind, and lack of experience with the world. I feared that I might lose her in the process to some money throwing pig. Yet I needed to keep my personal fears in check and support who I regarded as my babe with anything she set her mind to. If this one thing could break us, than all my suspicions would be true; if they donâ€™t than we could move forward, take the leap into going public with our relationship.

Several weeks later we began to drift apart, we would ignore mutual calls and text. We did not see each other for days at a time. I began to worry about us, and so I began to call her more often, asking how she was and brought up ideas on trips we could take. It had little to no affect, as her eyes and perhaps even her heart were set on someone else whom she met at the gentlemenâ€™s club. One evening we got into an argument; and just like that, she asked me never to speak to her again; without any hesitation on my part, I hung up. The next day I told her we needed to talk; it was important that we clear the air. No response ever came that day, or the next day, or the day after. I tried once more and she quickly delivers the blow â€œI need timeâ€ which we all know to be â€œbreak-up modeâ€. I tried and tried again to see her so we could talk, all while sensing the inevitable blow that was soon to come. I would go to her apartment late at night, and she and her truck wouldnâ€™t be there. I knew that I had lost her at this point; or maybe just 99%. I took a chance and went to her one last time; even after she told me not to. I gave her everything that she ever wanted, with a promise to be there always. She wasnâ€™t giving in, she could not see being with me being better than the guy that she met recently. I knew that my words were barely chipping away at her wall. She was cold all throughout this and yet at the end she hugged me and showed me signs of remorse or sympathy. Before she walked back in I asked her, if in this last moment, we could turn things around and try to work this out with a clean slate. Her lips said no, but in her eyes, I saw a glimmer of yes. Despite what I felt, she gave me the closure I had asked her for. I wished her the best, and reminded her that I would always have her in my heart. Got in my car, and I had the most difficult drive of my life.

Michael

July 03, 2014 @ (New York City)

Tags: #BadBreakup, #ToxicRelationship, #BipolarDisorder, #Crazypeople

I met my ex-girlfriend on an online dating website and things got serious pretty quickly. She had bipolar disorder but was not getting treated. She lived with her parents and had a rocky relationship with her domineering and controlling mother. I always got the impression that her parents viewed my ex-girlfriend as a disappointment in comparison to her two older sisters who were both married with their own families. It seemed like her parents were happy with just about anybody who take my ex-girlfriend off her hands.

Initially I got along with her parents. I attended family gatherings, holidays and even went on a vacation with them. Over time, however, things changed. It started during a dinner we had with her parents. Her mother had a habit of scolding my ex-girlfriend about seemingly petty things. Even though it was an awkward situation that was uncomfortable, her mother was very unapologetic and instead got upset at me for not talking.

After two years together, we started to run into some problems. My ex-girlfriend was pressuring me into getting engaged, mainly so she could get my health insurance and get treated for her bipolar disorder. She even talked about eloping first so she didnâ€™t have to wait to claim my insurance. I started to feel that the relationship was a little one-sided. We practically spent all of our free time together and I was bothered she never showed much interest in any of my hobbies and was always very vocal about how stupid they were. Another problem were her mood swings which often lead to arguments, which occasionally took place in public places.

After we broke up, I went out on my own while my ex-girlfriend immediately jumped into another relationship. Also during that time, her parents sort of relented and allowed her to get treated for her bipolar disorder. After a few months, we both realized that we still had feelings for each other and decided to get back together, promising that things would be different.

At first not everyone was excited that we were back together, mainly her parents. They were upset because they believed her new boyfriend wouldâ€™ve eventually married her and because they believed I had caused my ex-girlfriendâ€™s mood swings. My ex-girlfriendâ€™s mother was upset at me over an incident that happened a year ago that never occurred. Even though my ex-girlfriend believed her, I was suspicious of her mother.

Initially everything seemed to be going great. The relationship was a lot more balanced and because my ex-girlfriend was taking medication she wasnâ€™t getting those mood swings that plagued us last time. Around the holidays, things started to turn. I was driving my ex-girlfriend to the airport and my car got a flat tire. As I pulled into the gas station, she started screaming at me, like she did before she was taking her medication. It was so bad that the attendants felt sorry for me and gave me the replacement tire for free. Even though my ex-girlfriend wrote off the incident as holiday-related stress, it was the first indication that something wasnâ€™t right.

Over the next month, my ex-girlfriend continued to act erratically and decided to break up with me on Valentineâ€™s Day, only to change her mind the following day and the same pattern would occur every few weeks. Also during that time, my ex-girlfriend discovered that her mother had tricked her into not taking her bipolar medication and had told her doctor that she no longer needed them causing her doctor to believe she was misdiagnosed.

Eventually, my ex-girlfriendâ€™s mother began to act even more coldly towards me. During an argument over the phone, I overheard her mother screaming in background and demanded that she break up with me and get it over with. Every time I saw her mother, I tried to be friendly or polite to her but she either scowl at me or storm out of the room. She continued to badmouth me and even made bizarre accusations about me. She claimed that I wasnâ€™t serious about getting married and claimed that I was gay. She even told family members that she didnâ€™t think that I was a nice person.

By the spring, my ex-girlfriendâ€™s mood swings started to get worse. One night, my ex-girlfriend had too much to drink and she started grinding against me at a restaurant. After I quietly pushed her off of me and told her to stop, she started screaming at me and eventually pushed me out the door. When I returned, she continued to scream at me and had to be told to leave by the manager.

On the way home, I told her we were finished but she wanted to talk. She asked for another chance and promised to stop drinking. When I wouldnâ€™t reconsider, she got upset demanded that I get out of her car and kicked me in my ribs and threw a half empty wine bottle out the window. The following day, she changed her mind and tried to convince me to give her another chance. After she got her friends to contact me, I felt like I had no choice but to give in.

In the following weeks. My ex-girlfriendâ€™s mood swings got worse and she even got pushy and demanding. When I tried breaking up with her again, she again forced me to reconsider and sometimes held me hostage in her house until I reconsidered. Personally I felt trapped. When my ex-girlfriend and I got back together, this was not what I had envisioned. Now I felt depressed and noticed that I had gained weight.

I decided that I needed an outlet for my feelings and decided to sign up for an obstacle course race. My ex-girlfriend immediately thought it was a dumb idea and was upset that I ask her permission. She also hated that I joined a Sunday softball league with a friend, even though she worked on that day. She always expected me to stay home and meet with her after she got off of work.

The night before the race, my ex-girlfriend decided to rehash an old argument about how she felt that I wasnâ€™t committed to her and believed her mother was about me. The argument continued as I was driving her home and when I tried to break up with her again, she lost her temper and started hitting me over the head with a book as I was driving. Afterwards, I was forced to change my mind after she refused to leave my car. The following week, I finally broke up with my ex-girlfriend after I cancelled my plans with her and she furiously berated me on the phone. Unlike last summer, this was for good.

In the months that followed, my ex-girlfriend continued to try to contact me.
Sometimes she scolded me for breaking up with her and occasionally she begged for another chance. She even would scream at remaining mutual friends when they wouldnâ€™t tell her any information they had on me. I also learned that she was in a serious car accident that some of her friends believe might been a suicide attempt. Eventually, she stopped trying to contact me and I learned that she had started dating another guy and was once again taking bipolar medication.

As for me, I rediscovered how to have fun again. I made a lot of new friends on the softball team I joined that summer. It helped that we won the championship and I ended up making the game winning catch. I also lost 50 pounds and have since competed in 3 more obstacle course races. I even started dating again and am currently in the early stages of a new relationship. Itâ€™s been fun and I can't remember the last time I felt this happy or excited about my life.

Aubery

May 30, 2014 @ (India)

Tags: just tired and disappointed in myself

he was a friend from a long to one of the very few people i talk to with all my heart. And he is quiet perfect actually very well natured, good at heart, understanding and doesnt have any sort of bad habits. so naturally i said yes when he wanted to be more than friend because i did not find a reason to say no....
but i did not feel the spark that intense feelings towards him.... i thought that slowly i would fall in love but i never did... i care a lot about him but i dnt think its to the level to be called as love... and more over i dont have passion or lust i generally get bored when he tries to make out... but he genuinely loves me (much mare then i deserve actually)... i kept waiting (careful not to break his heart) that suddenly i would realize that i love him... but it became suffocating especially when he practically glows with love in my presence... i desperately try to return that emotion but i just cannot... so now i just gave up trying to feel that non-existent love and decided to move on... i know i broke his heart and i feel so terrible... was my decision if not right at-least reasonable ?

Shavel

May 16, 2014 @ (Florida)

Tags: Heartbroken

I've been with this guy name Nicholas for 1 1/2 years. We met in middle school, I didn't really notice him or liked him. It all started our sophomore year of high school. I didn't even know he went to my school but anyways we end up having my favorite subject together. He was just a friend to me, nothing more, nothing less. One day my teacher sat us together and we was watching a movie. I felt this weird feeling towards him that I never felt before. I wanted to hold his hand and touch him. To me he was unattractive. Maybe because I was trying to get back with my ex at the moment and still had feelings for. We both played basketball btw. One day after my basketball game my ex told me he didn't wanna talk to me no more ect. So I decided to call Nicholas because I was lonely and wanted to talk to someone to not think about my ex. I called him and he was at a basketball game watching another school play. He went outside just to talk to me. I started flirting with him without knowing it.
The next morning I went to school and I couldn't believe wat I've did last night. I didn't like him nor wanna talk to him.
It felt so wired in that class and I usually spoke a lot in that class and now I started not to.
2 months passed by and he wanted to go out with me but I would always tell him I'm not ready to date or I'm still hung up on my ex but he still waited for me to be ready.
We talked for 2 months before making it official. He asked me out on January 8 .
I always been bad lucked with guys so this one I was scared to give my all. I wasn't really into it like he was but after a couple months I grew to love him. He was my everything, my best friend, just my world and I was his. Not a day goes by that I didn't get a good morning / goodnight text. He made everyday worth being happy for. He made me realize a lot in myself. We shared everything. I use to give him money and he did the same to me, we use to cook each other lunch, just simply take care of each other. Everyday was a happy day for me and him. But u might be wondering it seems like u guys love each other a lot , y would u guys break up? Well I have a lot of insecurity because of my past relationships, I never thought I was good enough or pretty enough to be his gf. He told me stop thinking like that Cus I'm the only women he sees and loves. I met his family. He showed me off to the world. Say I was his queen ect. He motivated me to do better in the sports I play. We filled out scholarships for each other. Motivated each other in everything we did. He have put up with a lot I've done. He was tierd of me putting ppl in our relationship, assuming he was doing things behind my back( cheating) which he never did nor talk to someone different but I was so insecure. He got fed up and left me and now I've realize what I've lost. I've lost my motivator, best friend, my happiness. I pray everyday we get back together. We've been broken up for a week now and it feels like a year. My room is full of things he bought me. Sometimes he only had enough money for a haircut but he gave me that money so I can eat and he don't get money often. I just wanna show him that my insecurities are gone and my assumption too. Just us breaking up made me realize how much I needed to change but I told him I would always change and I never did but the time I really changed he doesn't believed me because I've said it a bunch of times. I would like for u guys to pray for us to work things out because ever since I lost him, I've lost my happiness, my motivation, and most importantly the love of my life