Breaking up sucks, make your story heard!
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The summer before my first year of high school I started dating one of my best guy friends, Jesus. He had been my best friend since the beginning of middle school and we were so close. I had liked him for awhile and he had no idea entire time. Right before school ended he told me that at first the only reason he had started talking to me was because he thought I was just some hot girl he could get with and be done with but after we started talking he realized that I was actually I really funny, nice person that he decided to just be friends with me.
I didn't tell him that I liked him I just said "Oh! That is so sweet, blah, blah, blah." My girl best friend is the one that told him I did because she was mad at me and didn't realize that he liked me a lot and it as actually good news to him. The next day he asked me out and I was more than surprised. I said yes of course and then we started dating.
Not long after that his crazy started coming out. I'd wake up with like 80 text messages from him. If I didn't call him back or answer a message from him in like 5 minutes he would send me 10 half angry half worried. I just wrote it off for awhile. Just thinking he really must love me or he must really be bored.
I had to go out to visit my dad in Alabama for 3 weeks and I told him I probably wouldn't be using my phone that much so he shouldn't worry. That is when he went REALLY crazy. He would send me pictures of my house at like weird times of the day and if I didn't answer he would slice up his arms and legs and send me pictures of it bleeding and gross. It was all just to weird. I told him when I got back we needed to talk in person. He said okay but still kept up the weird stuff. When I got home we went to a park to talk. It was all just a really weird day. I told him we needed to take a little break so I could decide if I wanted to move to Alabama to live with my dad. He went insane.
End of story summed up real quick. He got violent. I had to change my number. Change our locks. Only go outside with someone else and I never stayed home by myself. We almost filed for a restraining order, instead we just got him sent to a different school.
So me and this guy had been dating almost two years and he is on the poorer side but i didnt care i "loved" him and he "loved" me so i would go get him take him home (30+ mins) and then we'd go out to eat, I'd pay, and then we would go back to my house and chill. Sometimes we'd hang out with friends but I would still have to get, pay, and things like that for him, but i didn't mind because he promised he loved me and one day i'd never have to pay for him ever again and money is just an object to me anyways so i did so lovingly until about three months ago i started asking him if he could meet 10 mins down the road or drive over because i felt to stressed because every fight started being about me not doing enough for him and i asked him to meet me half way. He started acting rude towards me like he changed he acted like he didn't care about me anymore then i told him if this was going to last he would have to meet me somewhere or drive over because i can't go all the way out there, just to make a point i do everything, and he told me why stay together because he wouldn't do that. so we took a break, and i ended ending it. Well it's been a month since the two year break up and he has a new girlfriend. and i feel used, and left for someone new because i've been thinking about how he acted towards the end he stopped caring, about me and was very weird when it came to his phone. so now, i feel like i shouldn't have let him in, i should have kept my walls up, i should have said "no" to everything we did because i can NEVER get that back and now. i just can't even imagine her saying his name, hold his hand, replacing me. so this is my first break up. and it really honestly sucks.
Well, me and this girl had been dating for almost 2 years. We were FB official and everything. Our parents didn't like us being together because well, were two females. So we snuck around and went behind our parents back. I did everything to make her happy. I mean everything. Like I would've gave her anything. I thought she was happy. We planned our whole future together. She wanted kids. I didnt but I was willing to adopt or do something just so she could get what she wanted. Well I went out of town for a few days and I get on facebook and she changed her relationship status to single, Deletes everything that has to do with me but didnt delete me as a friend on facebook. She wouldnt answer my phone calls. Wouldnt respond to me messages or anything. She basically dropped off the face of the Earth!
Tags: it sucks
We've been on and off for 9 months. So not overly long time but there was so much feeling there that kept us to keep coming back. But the other night, the way it ended. I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was wrong, something was telling me to go to his house. He wasn't replying or talking to me all day. I show up at his house to find him sitting in his ex's car with her. I get out, well I had 2 kids I was watching in the vehicle so I tried to keep my cool but I asked him what the hell he was doing and all he said was he was busy talking so I took off. About a half hour later I get this voice mail that said ' I asked her to come talk to me, I kinda needed her too. I think there's still a chance here and I'm going to talk to her about it so I guess I'll talk to you later' and that was the end of it. Later came and he phoned me and told me that we were never actually dating because it wasnt fb offical. After already a month into it. I didn't think FB was such a huge deal or mattered. That night came he made me wait all night thinking he was going to come talk to me but he never did. The next night he phones me and tells me that this will be the last conversation that we ever have and that he doesn't want to talk to me or have me text him again. He said we were never together and that he wants to be with his ex. Now I'm left broken hearted crying in a hotel room because I had a family wedding to go to that he was suppose to be attending with me.
I suppose it had to be done. It was ugly. Though I suppose there's no other way to break a girl's heart. Awkwardness will ensue, as we work together. The thought of leaving her room at 3:30am with her sobbing under her covers while her nasty roommate goes at it with her boy toy in the next room -- ugh. I hate hurting people. I should never have let it drag on so long. It was inconsiderate. I should not have told her that I regretted letting it drag on so long. That made it worse. Can't take that back.
I don't regret the time I spent with her. Not one bit. It was fun. She shouldn't feel dumb, although she probably does. It wasn't her fault that the relationship turned out this way. If I was the slightest bit open with my feelings, it wouldn't have ended so badly.
And I miss her already. I got so used to being with her every night. It's going to be hard to go back to being alone and miserable in this house. Lame friends, nothing much to do. I actually thought it would work itself out. I thought she was going to move away, and that things would work themselves out eventually. I was too much of a wussy to take it into my own hands.
I knew from day 1 that the relationship was a bad idea. He was dating 3 girls at once, and told everyone at our job about it. Maybe I got involved just because I knew it wouldn't work, as I had recently broken up with someone I really loved, due to unfortunate circumstances. Maybe I just wanted to believe I was special enough to change him. Unsurprisingly, it was the same old story over again.
He was bad news. Carried a gun around, had an awful temper, thought he was some kind of gangster because he came from a city, even though he was now living in a rural area. Was drunk or high more or less constantly. When I found out he was cheating on me, I still hit him in the face. He tried to smash a computer monitor through my windshield and threatened to kill me and bury me in the woods for telling the other girl about what was going on. By the look on his face, which I will probably never forget, I believed him. I stayed with friends until he skipped town to go back to where he came from; I felt happily purged of my desire to see why girls dated bad boy types. He tried to call me for almost a year, after that, and left me all kinds of messages, both hateful and apologetic, all of which I ignored, until I finally changed my number, and that was the end of that.
The weirdest thing about this story is that I never actually DATED N.B. but there was a clear break up!
NB was my best friend. I had gotten to know him though he was shy and withdrawn and he really got close to me. While I did like him it wasn't serious. So one day I pulled him aside and told him (in my memory) as best as I could that I didn't see him that way.
Then I met CL and we dated. It was an open and obvious relationship and we all spent time together at the same youth group, so I assumed NB knew like the rest of the world. Eventually, CL and I broke it off and I told NB that we had broken up. He acted as though he never knew we were dating and asked when he and I would start dating. This was a YEAR after the first conversation about all of this.
My response was pretty much "what? no."
Then the crazy set in. He bought a trenchcoat (like a friggin' high school shooter). He stopped bathing. He combed his hair down over his face. I got psycho emails and changed phones with my mom. My parents were looking into a restraining order.
So then I go to college. He keeps it up and finally says via email if I never respond to him he will leave me alone. If only! I don't respond and when I visit home he corners me. He says he just wants to be friends and I shout at him that I don't.
Sounds easy enough? Even during my 3 year engagement he would circle me at church, regardless of my fiance being there or not!
So a long and torturous break up with someone I never dated!
it dragged on 2 years more than it had to. I knew it wasn't a forever type of thing. He didn't. whenever I felt the breakup urge the strongest, it was always close to a special holiday or anniversary.
I was house sitting. It was xmas time. He came over and I let him know it was over. I don't remember if it was our anniversary but he had brought a gift of lingerie. He was also an inbred materialistic, cheapskate republican. So let's just call it even.
After being with my boyfriend for a few years, it seemed like we were always arguing. We were miserable when we were alone in each others company, and couldn't get away from each other because he was living at my house and had no one else to turn to. When we returned to school, he moved into a dorm and so I decided to end the relationship. He was devastated, but we remained close. We had many talks about life in general and I started to open up to him more than I ever had before. However, when he tried to get back together with me, I pushed him away. As the months went on though, we became even closer and I felt like he understood me better than anyone and connected right to my soul- I consented to have sex with him, kiss, cuddle, etc. That continued for a month or so until, one night, we go to a party and he's all over my friend the whole time, while I look on with a broken heart. Now he says he thought I understood he didn't want a relationship with me, and is mad at me for accusing him of using me. I feel like he wanted to build me up so he could hurt me as I had hurt him. I can't believe I had so much trust in one person.
We were together two and a half years, living together for one and a half of that, and while we had our challenges we loved and enjoyed each other and had planned a life together. We lived as a married couple and a ring had been picked out at his request. We planned trips and planned for a family, but we also enjoyed each other in the moment. I felt very loved, wanted and supported. The challenges were lifestyle issues. He was still a party boy and surrounded himself with party people. When I say party boy I mean that I would classify him and his friends as having drinking problems. I didn't really know the extent of partying until we moved in together. One of my parents is an alcoholic/drug addict so I started to be "triggered" constantly by their behavior and it reached a point of constant anxiety for me and caused major issues in the relationship. I could go on and on about the positives and negatives about this relationship and how the break-up came about and how wronged I felt, but I just don't have the energy. Anyway, at the time of the break-up I was unemployeed (had quit my job at his request two months earlier) so I found myself financially dependant on him, living in his house and with a broken heart. He said I was the love of his life, but that we weren't working and sometimes love isn't enough. If I hadn't been so blindsided by the break-up I probably would have agreed with him. It was horrible how he kept trying to emotionally support me through the break-up. He hugged me, cried, told me he loved me and that we would get through it together. I was losing a part of me and he didn't understand that he couldn't help me get over him. I spent a week in a haze and then went to work on getting my life together so that I could move out. Within a month I found a job and a place to live (which he had to cosign the lease for and pay the first months rent on because I hadn't started my job yet. It was so hard to have to ask him for anything.) So here I am now knowing that it was for the best but still aching with reminders and the "what will never be's". I want to let him go and move on, but it's just so hard.
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