Right,so we dated for slightly over 4 months(short time,I know) but never the less I still extremely loved her,and still do.Our relationship gave no signs of falling apart,at least not any that I could see.We were your typical teenagers in love.Always by each others sides.Holding hand.Constantly texting each other. Every time I spent time with her,I was able to forget all my worries and I finally understood what that cliche about love meant.Everything just seemed so perfect.I loved her and she loved me,but things began going wrong.Because of me.All because of me I lost the one person that really made me feel alive.Made me feel like there was a point to waking up in the morning.Let's call her CC.CC was very easily jealous over my female best friend R.I have a long history with R.R always seemed to support me emotionally and never really gave any inclination that she was romantically attracted to me.Further more,me and R were and still are physically close.Whilst dating CC I would hold hands with R which would clearly upset CC.And me,being the douche i am,never done anything about it.I continued treating CC like second place and never giving her the love she deserved.On a side note,me and R(my female best friend) never done anything except holding hands and hugging,I did most certainly not cheat on CC.Fast forward a couple months,and we would avoid each other and act as if we were almost strangers. Every time we accidentally came in contact with each other we both acted as if we were being branded with a hot rod of iron.This continued for a week until we had an argument over text.Both of us were being passive aggressive but i was obviously the one who started the whole argument.And then we decided to take a break from each other. For a week we still texted.Not much seemed to have changed except our texts seemed so much more wary and cautious.Then on top of that,DD lets call them that ,texted me saying i was being bordeline mentally abusive to CC and that i was manipulative in the relationship.DD was very close to my CC.Anyway lets leave all that out and skip to the juicy bits you all want to hear.2 weeks after our break,she stops texting me entirely.Stops talking to me and avoids me. Doesn't even make eye contact from me.Then on the day we would have had our 5 month anniversary,I see her with hickeys on her neck from DD.CC has stopped caring about me entirely that's for sure...I still think about her.I still love her.I start crying whenever i think back onto memories I have shared with her.How warm her embrace felt.How her hand felt against mine.How I just enjoyed being in her company,just lying down and staring at her in silence. Savouring ever second I got to spend time with her.I have to let go now.I'm finding it hard to.Her.Her.Her.It's a chant inside my head and my heart.I love her and I hate what it does to me.
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