John L.

July 20, 2010 @ (Orlando)

Tags: 8 year dream

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I was with a girl for 7.5 months. When we first met she told me that she was going to try and get back together with her ex.8 years earlier I had begged God to show me the girl I was to marry. I had seen this girl and her dad for 8 years in my dreams and had been looking every day. 2 days before my 23 b-day,I took her out to dinner and it was my first date.We ended up hanging out more and more. FOund out later she was with a guy I knew and was having sex. I am a true Christian and wanted to show her that sex wasn't how you loved someone it was just being with the that mattered most. Her ex had messed up her head. I got drunk for the first time forher and apparently I woke up next morning with no clothes on. I lost my virginity.To me it was the most sacred thing I wanted to give my wife to say this is all that I am and I am giving it to you. We ended up doing it a lot and I thought she would stay with me. She was talking with her ex the whole time and I hated that but was trying to show I cared. He came back 4 two weeks and she had sex with him. I had just given her a 200 dollar pair of earrings saying the night before don't forget about me. She came back and we were together for a few months then she started working at a place full of guys then the there was no contact with her. I was like what the crap. She didnt tell me anything. I had nightmares of me being in the room while she was having sex with a guy I had never seen. Later found out she was seeing a guy from work. And that she had finally broken up with her ex.
I said is there any way that we could start over since she now had a clear head. No. She never once loved me or had feelings for me. They were all transferred from her ex to me. Sorry.
In the end I gave my virginity so she wouldn't go to another guy who would use her for sex,gave her my heart, mind, body and soul. I waited 8 years for this girl and she took everything and said it meant nothing. Now I am afraid to even ask a girl out because I believed in her. One time after sex she was like what is your favorite part. aka on her body. I pointed to her heart. I never wanted sex. I kept telling her it was just holding her hand, being in her arms, and looking into her eyes that made me forget everything. Now I fear she is destroying her future. All I can do is pray

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So Sorry!

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jesse

June 19, 2012

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if you want to write a story i suggest writing about your faith in god and how it changed over the years...that can be a best seller...

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JohnL.

June 19, 2012

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Heh if only u knew. I will tell u later. Ty again for this conversation. Opened my eyes in a few ways. But check back later to see some of the dream things

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jesse

June 19, 2012

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thats unoriginal btw...

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jesse

June 19, 2012

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and why would you believe in dreams ? the definition of a dream is a series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person's mind during sleep that may or may not have been brought on through a series of outside events.thats all it is.. a dream is just a dream...

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JohnL.

June 19, 2012

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The whole experience. Plus i thought instead of just mine ask college kids wjat their worst breakups were and put 11 plus mine in the book and call it a dozen broken blue roses

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jesse

June 19, 2012

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a book on what lol?

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JohnL.

June 19, 2012

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Oh believe me i know. I saved everything based on 6 dreams. And the hope of after 8 yrs of looking,waiting and praying this was it. Y i tried so hard etc. plus she described the same dream. I saw her,her dad, my pastor yrs b4 i would ever meet them. It wasnt just blind hope. Trust me. I even said it was a stupid dream this isnt her,etc. there was other crap too just crazy. One reason some ppl told me to write a book

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jesse

June 19, 2012

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sorry for seeming a bit vague and all but u have to understand what you thought was real and what you thought was a everlasting relationship wasnt..it was something that you only contributed...

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jesse

June 19, 2012

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ok...then if your happy with ur decisions and wouldnt change them for the world why are displaying yourself with the characteristics of a man hurt that is still carrying his own grief for the actions he has made.... and just to let you know everyones going to say " i want to change" cuz were never going to be the ideal figure/person that we want to be...and yes if i was in ur place i guess i would believe in something thhat i thought was so real...but it wasnt... it was something that you hoped could be real and everlasting.

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Johnl

June 19, 2012

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But there were times when she was there entkrely and it was amazing.

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