Tags: first heart break
my gf recently broke up with me and heres the story;
we were together for almost 2yrs and i thought she was the one. my family loves her and she gets along with my friends and vice-versa. she was my longest girlfriend and i let all of my guards down. we recently went on a trip too and i can remember a month before the trip she told me she doesnt feel the same way. but, me, blinded by love i ignored the warning and thought everything was ok and she was just having mood swings. as days, weeks went by she was back to normal. the day of the our 1 week trip comes, we were really happy and in love(atleast i was). so we get back from the trip(it was a great trip) and i thought everything was going fine. its september so we planned to spend the holidays together because my whole family is leaving the country for a month to spend the holidays over-seas. a few weeks after the trip its was september 28 to be exact, i was having a shitty day at work and looking forward to seeing and talking to her. that night, she just wanted to end our relationship, my heart sank while i asked her why and her reasons were: she's still young, she wants to figure herself out, she wants to experience life and she needs her own space. i talked her out of breaking up with me but i would give her a month break to have her space and to do her own thing. i tried to let her do her own thing but i failed, i still called, texted and saw her. that went on for a couple of weeks. she would still say i love you to me but whenever i was with her it didnt feel right anymore i mean i love her but i could just tell that she's fallen out of love with me. i was too stupid to be honest to myself and face that there was no point of me still trying, giving my absolute best to make things work out and make her fall in love again. but she would say the littlest things that would give me the biggest hope. so there i was again, lying to myself, prolonging my own agony, torturing myself. until a fews ago, i faced my fear. we were in her place we watched a movie after the movie we had a serious talk about our relationship. she was still trying to fall back in love with me but she also knew that there was really nothing there. so i told her if theres nothing there anymore dont bother. she wants to stay friends but that would be impossible for me. she loves me but not inlove with me. so i walked out of her house crying my eyes out my face was hurting alot for holding the tears for so long, carrying the bag of chips and dip i bought for the movie(she didnt want them). that night was the night i felt so bad for myself. only a few people know that we're broken up even our FB relationship status says we are still in the relationship. everyone thinks we were perfect for each other. i still need to have my question answered "why/how did she fall out of love?". it gets tougher everyday because i still have that little hope. im trying to be strong and busy to get over my first heart break. its so hard for me to tell people what im really feeling inside. my friends see me as a strong man yet i feel like a little kid inside hoping to be loved. im doing the best i can not to contact her. im trying to get back on my feet and just let things be. i dont know if she'll miss me and come back but i best not expect anything.
for other guys out there: growing up we were always taught to be tough, strong and not to show any kind of weakness. while, girls are taught the opposite they show emotions, how they feel and all girls out there expects to have their heart broken by a guy one day. us guys would never expect that. so when we guys get our hearts broken it would be unexpectedly fcked up for us.
atleast thats how i see why im having a difficult time coping with this.
well i got some out of my chest! thanks for reading
Tags: Breakup long term relationship
I was in a relationship since September of 2009 and it just ended recently, not to long ago, in May 2012.
I was confused, lost, in denial, anger. And I still am, it's been really hard.
I really thought he was the one, well I still do.
Me and him did everything together, I saw him everyday until late night and he would spend the night on the weekends quite often.
We went out a lot to the movies, the beach, Disneyland, and new places every weekend. He took me out to dinner almost every weekend, he did anything to make me happy.
We always spoke about the future, college, getting married, having kids, growing old together.
I just don't know what went wrong. One day, he suddenly wanted to break up because he is 'not ready to commit' and wasn't aware of the seriousness of our relationship - after 2 years, he finally decides he was too young to be in such a serious relationship.
And the worst of all, he never ever said anything about being unhappy with me until the day he broke up with me. He was hiding all his feelings from me, while I was being honest with him all along.
I just don't understand. To me, our love felt real. Like really real. I honestly feel like he is the one, still today after 5 months of being broken up. I still love him, I will always love him. He never did anything bad to me. He treated me like a princess, he was my best friend. We had so many good laughs and memories together. We were practically married. We were so comfortable with each other. Every one of our friends thought we were going to actually get married and when they heard that we broke up - they thought that I was the one who did it, but incidentally it was the other way around.
Every one thought he would never leave me, that he was so in love with me. And I thought so too, and I felt secure with him because I thought he was one of those rare guys who actually stays committed in a relationship. But I guess I was wrong.
It's just so hard, I'm trying to let go. But I think about him everyday, he was the only happiness in my life. Now I'm trying to find my own happiness, and I have managed. But nothing makes me as happy as he did. I loved him more than anything, more than my family. I know it was wrong of me, but it was true. He was my first priority and I was his. I never treated him badly, I never cheated on him, or anything. I loved him with my whole heart and soul and this is what I get in return? A broken heart.
I just wonder if he ever thinks about me. I wonder if he misses me.
Oh and we don't speak. Well atleast, he doesn't talk to me. From what I have heard is that he hates me because he realized that he missed out on life because of me ('life' referring to parties and drinking and what not). So he hates me because he didn't get to experience life the way he wanted to. Which is stupid because he knew what kind of relationship he was getting into since day 1. It took him two years to realize that he was missing out on life? We weren't missing out on life, I mean we didn't party like the way he does. Instead, we went on dates to new places every weekend. We had movie nights, dinner dates, etc etc. I mean we weren't a boring couple, we were always doing something. But I guess he just want to party and get smashed or something. Well that's what he's doing now from what I've been hearing.
I hope one day he realizes that he messed up, I hope one day he realiZes how wonderful our relationship was. I hope one day we can be friends again. I just miss him so much, and I know it's not good. I feel like I'm missing a part of me. And I know time heals all wounds, it has definitely been a bumpy ride in the last 5 months, some good and some bad times but I try to stay optimistic about the future.
Any advice?
Tags: breakup advice help
I really dont know what to do.
My boyfriend and I were together for almost 4 years.. we started dating right before junior year in high school. i went away to college and we still made the relationship work. During high school we had alot of problems with him and other girls but we always worked thru it as hard as it was on me. and once college began he definatley grew up and stopped playing those stupid games. whenever i came home to visit from college it always seemed like he didnt have time for me, and would fall asleep on me when we would hang out. a little over a month ago i came home and we were arguing alot, so out of the blue i broke up with him, hoping that it would just be a break to just recollect and realize we need eachother in eachother's lives. i still saw him in my future. after the break up he kept texting me nonstop saying he missed me and wanted me back, but i stood my ground especially cause finals were coming up and i wanted to focus on that at the time. in the meantime, there was a man at my college who was interested in me and we went on a couple dates and he kissed me but right away i knew it wouldnt work out and still thought of my ex so i let him know right away i didnt want to keep dating. my ex found out we kissed and right away and it made him want me even more, but i told him i wanted to start over with him (my ex) and not jump back into the relationship asap. now, for the last two weeks, he stopped talking to me, and i realized i was ready to be with him again. i kept texting him, but he stopped responding. two nights ago i wrote him a long letter explaining why i did everythign that i did, and that i saw a future with him and just wanted to work everything out now that it is summer and were back in the same city. he finally texted me when he got my letter, pretty much saying to leave him alone, hes moving on, and doesnt see me in the future (even though two weeks prior he said he would marry me if he could). i am SO hurt. i begged for one more chance and he said no. i feel like i pushed him away and now its to late, and i am never going to forgive myself for it. it just doesnt make sense how after two weeks he went from seeing me in the future to not. and i saw on facebook this morning hes taking some new girl to a concert and spedning alot of time with her. honestly, what do i do. im so heartbroken...
Tags: long distance, long relation
I ended my 7 year long relation few days back.It started when I was 16. A high school romance...butterflies in the stomach and stuff...We went to college to different cities but it kept on. She was in a girl's college with no guys around. She used to come to meet me sometimes but meetings were rare and it took months for us to meet. We kept together by phone and occassional meetings. I was too emotionally attached to her and felt the same for her as well. Years passed, I thought our love grew stronger. We were different people. I was very ambitious and a little introvert. She was a complete extrovert, liked attention and was not much into career. During college I found a few girls who I thought were more mature than she was but I loved her for what she was, never ever thought of snapping it...Over the years I created an illusion(atleast now I feel so) that she was the one and we are together for eternity. I faced some really difficult time in 2010 and she was rock solid by my side.My love and respect grew for her. I reciprocated in the same way. Being by her side everytime. She said she respected me for that. Finally we got a job in the same city and after 4 long years we were together again. Could meet. I felt complete. I thought our relation was evolving. I got more serious. Told my family. She did the same.(not Mom and dad, but others).I was very happy with her. I felt she was happy with me as well. In july, I got busy with an office assignment, she said she was busy as well.I did not care as I trusted her. In october I was out of the country for work. We were talking still.Perfectly fine. No issues. I came back in November. It was her birthday on 6th. I wanted to be with her 24x7 and told her so. She agreed. But on 4th, she called me and said she wanted to party with friends. After some discussion and my failed attempts to change her mind, it was agreed that she would party with her friends. I was sad. But still wanted to be with her. On her Bday night, I found her lying to me about a guy's call the other night.He was an office colleague whom she knew for 6 months.Trvial issue I thought, we discussed and she said she shouldn't have lied, apologised. I was happy. But to my surprise I caught her lying again. Same day. I was angry. We talked and she confessed that she kissed that guy on her bday. She told it to be an impulsive one and only a one time thing..I asked her to choose between the guy and me. To my freaking surprise she said she is having a strong feeling towards him. I was miserable. I somehow persuaded her to meet me and not think of snapping a 7 year relation just like that. We met the next day, talked.I was so scared that night that I slept holding her hand and kept murmuring,"Please, dont go, dont go" and she kept telling me she wont. She agreed that she made a mistake and she must stop it. But somehow, she was not happy. After a long discussion the next day, she confessed that her bday was not the first time and she had been cheating on me while I was out of the country in October. I was broken. We used to talk every day then and she had no guilt. Nothing. I asked her to forget him and come back. But she did not. She said she could not stop talking to him.. She gave up a 7 year relation for a guy whom she knows just for 5 months. The guy knew about it all around that she was committed. Yet....I feel horrible right now. All the time I was out, I kept telling people that she's waiting for me to get back..she was even calling me and telling me that she missed me and wanted me back soon. But in reality she was in someone else's arms. I don't know if I would ever be able to forget this. I don't know if I would ever be able to love anyone now..I could not believe it..I mean it was all OK for me till 6th, not even the slightest hint.I was buying stuff for her bday.and on 9th, it was over....I feel broken...and find solace only in alcohol
Tags: baby daddy
I am a pre-med student at a large eastern university. Last year, the first day of school I met and fell in love with my biology professor. He was so charming, so handsome and so married. I knew it was wrong but I couldn't help myself.
We immediatly stated a sexual liason right there in his class room. I would come to his room during his prep time, and he would have me bend over his desk and we would make love. He was so rough and violent when we had sex, so masculine, it was an addiction to me. I had never been with a real man who would not play around or slowly try to ackwardly seduce me one button at a time. He would just pull me to him, rip my panties down and slam me. It was so hot. I was so in love!
I never used protection and really didn't think about what would would happen if I got pregnant. For some reason, I guess I didn't think I COULD get pregnant. Well, I was wrong and about 8 weeks into the year I realized I must be pregnant. When I told Professor he said it was my responsibility and I had to be a grown up and handle it. So, I decided to keep it and raise it myself. We continued to have sex every day and he showed me so many ways to explore the limits of my sexuality. We tried bondage and some hard discipline. He used to spank me with a paddle and a whip. It was so erotic and I loved it. But, one day when I was bound over the chair and he was swatting me, I began to bleed rather profusely. He told me to leave and take care of myself.
Later in my dorm room, I miscarried the baby. I called Professor and asked for his help, but he told me it was my problem. I wrapped the fetus in a towel. It was a boy.
I have to admit, it hurt me a lot that he didn't want to take care of our baby. So, I came up with a plan.
The next day we were supposed to do dissections in lab. I came to class and worked on my "project". When Professor came around to check our progress, I present him my work, all arranged on a display board. I told him, loud enough for everyone to hear, "Here's my project, its your son!"
He had me thrown out of school and refused to talk to me or have sex with me anymore. I was hurt and I still think of him when I feel the need for a real man in my life. I miss his firm hands on my body and his "tough love". He will always be special to me as he is the person who made me into a real woman.
Tags: nikki123
well, today me & my boyfriend broke up. Obviously or i wouldnt be on this site. No, im not upset of sad but i hate leaving a situation with "WHY" in my mind.
Me & my boyfriend had been dating for a year and 4 months. In the beginning we were head over heels in love; spent all the time in the world together ect (i mean that's how most relationships are.. in the beggining). over the months our relationship began to get sour. Im a very impatient person so most of our fights were my fault. I changed of course because i did love him, with all my heart. But then two weeks ago he started doing the same things i did. Some examples of why he got mad at me, walking away from him when he wanted to talk, not texting him, not kissing him, not looking him in the eye when we talked, yelling at him, or bossing him around. Yea pretty extreme, now if ANYone can believe that i changed ALLLLLL of those things just to make him happy. things got better but then two weeks ago everything i changed for him he decided to do to me. After a while i had been desperatly waiting for him to break up with me, because i made the promise not to leave him, so in the end of it he would. finally he breaks up with me & i tell him how i feel and trust me i let it all out. Funny thing is, he didnt have anything to say. Mostly because he's 19 and still a junior in highschool, pretty lame of me to choose a dumb onee. All in all im glad we arent together i can focus on me now and stop worrying about weather or not HE'S happy..
Tags: breakup
So we had Carrer Day at my school , I wasnt all too excited except for the fact that i got out of class for a whole day . We had Seniors who were our leaders and they helped show us all of the programs in our school . One kid stuck out to me, he was gorgeous , i have never seen him before in all my two years in the highschool . He showed me around , along with the other hundred kids, what are the odds he ends up talking to me ? Slim but possible, because we ended up talking to each other. It was slow at first, just texting , then hanging out . He was shy, i was shocked, a sexy senior who's shy ? Well , things picked up and we started spending almost everyday together. We would sleep together, no not sex, just falling asleep together and i never felt so right in his arms all through the night. It got serious, we told each other we wouldnt know what to do without each other..then he changed. Turns out he wasn't so shy, he starting turning into a jerk and ditching me, we went from texting all day non-stop to not texting at all. I was crushed, but i held on because losing him would be like taking my heart out and throwing it into an ocean . I held on , my grip slipped, and now he's gone. He didn't tell me why, just walked out . I thought atleast i deserve a reason, but i guess i don't. Turns out he's talking to someone else, doesn't text me back anymore and i'm heart broken. I loved him, when he was mean i would just kiss him, when he would make mistakes i would forgive, i was always there for him . When i do everythign for him thought ; he does nothing for me but leave me behind like a bad habbit .. Being left behind , is the worst pain ever immaginable .
this is long SO, im 21 and a girl ive been with for 18months, shes 18. but ive known her for about over 3 years now we met online and immediately connected and liked her i couldnt stop thinking about her even when she stopped talking for a year and got a bf i also had gotten a gf but after all that somehow perfect timing got us to start talking again when we were both recently single and after a few months i fell even harder and we decided to be in a relationship.
anyway she recently came up to stay for new years eve cause she knew itd mean alot to me, a couple days before new years she decided that Me asking her why she wasnt saying much and just moping around was a good reason for her to decide to leave and rip up some heartfelt things i gave her infront of me and say were over as soon as she gets back home etc. but during the days between then and when she actually left 1day before new years, she said she loved me and held, kissed me we had sex etc. but when she got back she blockd all communications with me so about a week after unanswered txts i added her best friend of 7 years to suss something out cause they havent been friends since a few month ago, i immediately found out that its because My ex was talking to and seeing a guy her ''friend'' was hooking up with behind her back, which was also behind my back. and they are already in a relationship and all that shit so she had been lying to me and cheating for a good few weeks i'd say. we promised eachother from the start even though she lived in another state it wouldnt just be another fuck around and the feelings were real and i would just move there anyway we only saw eachother a few times in person but i was still happy loving her and was serious even if it was hard sometimes i just thought that it'd make it all the more better when we were finally together all the time and i was nearly about to make that happen before she did this. she tried blaming her friend for pushing those 2 closer together becoz her friend pissed him off when she was screwing with his head but thats no excuse to go and start fucking him and dating him she should have stopped talking to him when her friend did. people will tell me too bad and that it was the distance thats a problem but i dont think that makes a difference after 18months ive been really hurt before but this managed to top everything else cause im just so sure about this girl and couldnt have feelings for someone else if i tried i cant move on, if you knew half of the things shes said and promised to me and made me youd be just as shocked as i am for what shes done. i dont know how someone can just erase that amount of time with someone they said theyd be with no matter what just like that asif i was nothing and i had never and would never cheat on her. i have to cry myself to sleep and im sick of it and im stupid enough to hope she'll come back like she did before because i have theories that the guy only did it becoz he wanted to piss her friend off for fucking around with him but if they bould BOTH do that to me n her friend then they must be perfect for eachother in a screwed up way and im guessing it will fuck up soon and she'll be alone and regret it because i know he can't love her atleast not like I do if i'm still dumb enough to want her even after what she's done cause i feel empty im used to having txts and msgs etc. from her every morning day & night and it just kills me to have those images of them in my head i can never get over it so all i'm gonna do is wait until she stops ignoring me.
Tags: Cameron Cuny
Let's see. It's December... 6months ago.
I was dating this doucher, and I met someone online.He was, perfect? No, perfect is an under-state-ment. Anywys, we fell in love. We both did, instantly.
God, I'm getting flash backs; we celebrated Fourth of July together. July 3rd we met and fell inlove, and became the greatest relationship ever. Hours and Hours on the phone, everynight. Webcams, phones, Im's. But, everyone was right.. Long distance doesn't work.
Anyways... We were amazing, but we only lasted a short time. I remember the breakup so vividly. I was high off of life, hanging out with my best friend, walking home, and as I passed the alleyway across the way from my alley, I got a phone call from my baby. I remember him talking to his buddy breifly, and then getting serious. He just explained to me that it wasn't working. He then asked, if I was alright, and with tears in my eyes, I replied yes. He told me if I needed to cry I could.
Oh I needed to cry alright. But I told him I didn't want him to have to hear it for, I didn't want him to feel bad. I told him I had to go...
My friend Devin was concerned.
I turned around, facing away from her, and cried, silent at first.
I tried to walk, i was so shaken, I couldn't walk, so I stumbled and fell. I sat against the wall, and Devin rushed over. I just started to scream. I couldn't breath, and I was screaming. Devin helped me up while I was still bawling, and she hugged me. I was so crushed. It felt as if he took a kife, rammed it into my heart, and then twisted the blade. After about an hour, I regained enough of my composure to get home..
As sooon as I was in my room, I began to cry again. I turned up my music and cried. After like... roughly 3 hours, Devin went home. I never stopped crying.
I did something I have never done before too.
I became numb. I was in such denial. It was so not over.
I couldn't even feel my heartbeat anymore, and pathetically, I cut myslef. I didn't want to die, I was making sure I was still alive.
He called me. I swear, I just sat there, with the phone muted, crying, screaming, not breathing. he was apologizing. Which broke my heart even more, causing me more pain.
This was the first guy, the first person I have ever felt love for, and he does this too mee? I would tell everyone exactly why he broke up with me, stupid reson, but I don't want to be mean. Why would anyone do this to me? My first real true heart break.. and it still haunts me. 6 MONTHS LATER! Why?
I have cried so many times, just at random, and if any of my friends even say his name, itnsta-cry. Little things remind me of him. Especially the song, It's Not Over- Second HandSerenade. I have listened to it atleast 100 times in the last couple hours. It's 3:46 in the morning.. I have officially been crying for 3 hours. Yay. what an accomplishment. Are you happy Cameron? Knowing that the fucking thought of you makes me cry. And when i do cry, I can't breath. I put myself through hell, for you. And what's even worse... I still love you.
-Brandee.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZmvJknzLfU&feature=related
Tags: tragedy
So there was this guy that I met at 15 when I moved to my new school. He was 16 and I remember when we first met, I felt electricity and I couldn't take my eyes off him...how cheesy is that? Ever since then we've never been able to completely be away from each other and for a while he was all I had. We've never been officially a couple due to a few problems. One, we fight like cats and dogs. In the beginning I held back and whenever he would say hurtful things I would try to avoid him but then he would just get mad and say that I was running away. That didn't last because eventually I got tired of taking his shit, and that's when the fights really started picking up. He lies, he tries to make things seem as if they're my fault, and frankly he is the biggest asshole I've ever met.
Here's where it gets even crazier we would stop talking for a month after the fights and then he would come back and we would start it up all over again. As we got older though, there were a few things that were brought to my attention. Any time I made a new friend at school, if he knew them, he would tell me not to be friends with them. Turns out, he has tried to sabotage 90% of the friendships I made, as if he was trying to keep me isolated. If I had even thought about dating another guy, he would get pissed but if he dated someone else then I'm bitter. I even remember on one of his drunken nights, he called me and told me that as much as he hated me, he wanted to be with me.
I knew that a lot of our pent up frustration was partially due to the fact that we didn't have sex. So, in the year that I turned 18 we had sex. It was pretty amazing and it actually helped. But of course, it didn't last..Skipping on threw, I went to college and he doesn't go to college so we stopped speaking b/c of another girl and when she broke up with him, he came to me. Btw that's what he does, whenever a girl hurts him, he finds me. So he started talking to me more, and he gained my trust again and when I went home for spring break we met on a car port surrounded by buildings, beautiful and romantic lol. And summer came around and we were having frustration fussing so we had sex. That's when everything became functional, until he got worried that I was pregnant. We don't use condoms and I'm not on the pill, DUMB. Thank god, I wasn't pregnant and so I went back to school. We kept in touch regularly until october and I hadn't heard from him until this morning. We had a small fight and he said that he misses me but I need to grow up and that we could talk when I learn how! Rude much, so I called him a dumb unnecessary bitch and blocked him. I'm not dumb, I go home in two weeks, so he's trying to fix his shit before i come home. So I know he'll contact me. that's pretty much why I blocked him so he'll have no choice but to text or call me. In the beginning this chaos was fun, but now that I'm older I just want stability. This was the first real fight we've had in a year so things have been getting better. But I just can't get passed that he hasn't even tried to talk to me for more than a month. I love him so much it hurts. I've loved him even before he took my virginity. He truly is the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. But people in hell want ice water. He can't let me go, and I can't let him go either. He has a few issues. He's had a pretty rough life, and I'm the only girl who has stayed and that scares him. Guys I've spoked to about this have told me, that I'm the one who could truly destroy him. He himself has told me that I have more power over him than I realize. Even when we have sex, it's not mindless fucking, it's quite emotional and he's the one that wants to be gentle with me while I want to get a little wild lol. He wanted me to stay in atlanta for school, and frankly I think that's what I should have done. There is another guy and there is another girl but unfortunately they're now part of a list of people that are for the purpose of taking our minds off of the other. They've been caught up in the tragedy of me and dylan. I just hope we learn to really love each other before we destroy each other.
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