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CDJ

June 02, 2016 @ (England)

We were together 18 months. In the final months she said she worried I wasnâ€™t earning enough and doubted our â€˜compatibilityâ€™ with contradictory reasons, yet would reject my suggestions to break-up (I always had to be the one to bring it up). When we eventually did it was hard, but I couldnâ€™t take the uncertainty.

Afterwards it felt like we hadnâ€™t broken up, talking as normal. She told me she still loved me and was upset. Her birthday was coming up and she was working nights that weekend, so I thought I would deliver her presents/belongings on one of the nights. But she wanted to see me, and said sheâ€™d been struggling after the break-up, so I agreed to come after Monday lunchtime following her final night shift.

When I arrived she came out her bedroom naked, claiming we hadnâ€™t confirmed I was coming round (she sent an odd text that morning asking what I was up to that day, to which I replied to confirm/remind, and tried to ring four times). She grabbed a dressing gown and opened her presents. I sensed awkwardness and then it clicked; there was a guy in her bed.

I felt sick and humiliated. She said he was a locum sheâ€™d met at work over the weekend, it hadnâ€™t meant anything, etc. I said I wanted answers/closure to move on (this upset her, yet Iâ€™d found her moving on!). She even blamed me for turning up. The next day she became remorseful and wanted to talk in person, but I wanted immediate answers â€“ it had been an unnecessary and horrible thing to do.

A week later she called me and I apologised for how Iâ€™d reacted, even though Iâ€™d suffered a trauma! She wouldnâ€™t discuss what happened, distressed at the slightest mention. Sheâ€™d flipped the situation and gone back to claiming I was in the wrong. At the end we agreed we would meet to exchange stuff. That was the last time we spoke; 8 weeks later she just ignored me and mailed my stuff without any words.

The lesson here is that there is no such thing as a good break-up. I thought I was having one, and then she had other ideas. So, when you break-up with someone, do just that â€“ cut contact and stay away. And speak to people (friends, parents, counsellor, etc.) â€“ they will stop you from making things worse.

Laura

May 31, 2016 @ (Everywhere)

Tags: Bad breakup

We met exactly a year ago, everything was perfect he was everything I've ever wanted, I fell in love with him instantly, we were both passionate about each other, I mean after our 2d date we were inseparable, we were practically living together, I trusted him completely so I told him all my secrets little did I know he would use it against me on every fight, he was bothered by the fact that I dated people before him and he was comparing me to him the whole time (he only dated 3 girls his entire life) he used to blame me for my past even though I was still a virgin when I met him he used to even blame me for kissing a lot of people before him (FYI he's 30 years old and I'm 25 ) he used to make me feel like a hore, he was very charming so when he apologizes and sweet talk to me I used easily forgive him.
I was spending all my time with him so my friendships faded with time, I even stood against my family at one point for him, 7months after we met he asked me to marry him and he even got me the perfect ring that I wanted and it was great and perfect, until he gets mad and he turns into this cruel careless person, by that time I don't even recognize him anymore he never physically hurt me, but he broke wine bottles and glass and all he could see, I tried explaining that that's wrong of him I tried talking to him, I tried doing the same but he didn't change a thing it even got worse,
I remember once I was too tired to have sex he got so mad and he was acting so bad when I told him how he was acting he just took my things and threw them to the door and kicked me out, he used to blame me for looking at my phone when I'm with him (and I mean just checking notifications ) he used to give me hell if I took a selfie calling me selfish and I love myself too much but I'm not doing anything a normal 25 year old women doesn't.
I took him on a trip for his birthday and he picked up a fight on the that day just to keep blaming me for ruining his birthday.
When we fight he just completely ignores me or call me a bitch or just keeps insulting me and when I fight back he goes mad and he blames me for it, he manipulated me so many time and hurt me just so he can feel better he used to make up stories just to see if I'm jealous I tried my best to be patient telling myself he will change, he will grow up, he will understand how much I actually love him but he keeps forbidding me not to even go out with male colleagues while he can go out with female colleagues all he wants so that was it I broke up with him and the scary part is I have no one to talk to abt this even the one only friend I have left Is so tired of me complaining about him I don't know where to start I don't even leave the bed

SantaSquad100

April 04, 2016 @ (Los Angeles)

Tags: #Rude

Never date a black women. I never have not and never will. Butt the ones that friend me I always get in huge arguments with. All are CRAZY

Allyson

March 09, 2016 @ (NYC)

Tags: Bad Break up, Dominican Moms, Black Girl Problems, Caribbean roots, NYC, Harlem,

I met him while browsing through people I may know on FB. I was 20 he was 19. His name was P. Sounds weird but we began dating before we even met in person 5 months later.
It was love at first sight literally...I've heard this saying and felt it was so corny and not possible BUT i'm a believer.
We both were struggling with our personal lives at the time of meeting so we filled those gaps which made us love even harder. Eventually, things started to decline. When it came to being emotionally supportive for me, and financial cracks he would always disappear. Perhaps after putting in 3 years I thought things would get better but they didn't. It didn't help that his mom was an older Dominican women. She hated that I was black, she hated everything about me. Over time things took its tole.
I recently decided to break things off finally a few days ago and throw in the towel. Not because I wanted to but because I felt I had to. I was physically attacked by his mom and assaulted while he stood near by and did nothing. With a huge open cut on my face, blood and all strangers bypassing were more concerned than he seemed.
The police got involved and he wasn't by my side and it was here when I realized. The person I met 3-4 years ago was not the person I'm with now.
I'll be the first to admit upbringing, infidelity, and insecurities drove this relationship to the ground. It's only been 3 days of feeling alone and empty out of the 3 and half year I was with him. He left me alone and in debt. Not even enough money for me to feed our cat that we got together. Its depressing but I plan on remaining strong.
Not to mention he treated me this way and I'm 2 and half months pregnant. I never understood how men could plant their seeds and not even feed the mouth of the women who carry their seeds. Im going to be strong and will raise this baby alone. He or she will be my new happiness. It break my hear that by law I can't just up and leave and at any point if he wanted to be involved he'd have every right to. Even though he doesn't deserve it. But this is life and the society we live it. So I'll just pray.

Rhonda

January 08, 2016 @ (Canada)

Tags: @Idont tag #isthisahashtag

I didn't see the signs. We were together for over two years. The first year and a half was crazy, wonderful, love. Then he slowly began distancing him self. More and more. He never communicated what was on his mind, so I thought everything was OK. Little did I know he was slowly starting to resent me. I was in denial about the distance. I loved him so much and kept thinking things would get better, it was just a rough patch. Through out the relationship I always worked away on and off. I went working away again and he broke up with me after I had been away for three months. later that year I was supposed to move to another town not so far away to attend school for a year. Then come back and live in the town we live in. Because he needed so much space, I didnt think he would mind if I ran off to school for a year to take a course. I hoped maybe distance would some how save us. (Absence makes the heart grow fonder?) Man was I wrong. He had time to stew over things I had no idea he was upset. When I got back from work he told me all these things he had been stewing over, he was mad about this and that, and a few minor events from a year a ago? and that apparently I am a horrible person. I won't give full details but the things he said really hurt. He was not the man I knew. He changed and decided that he disliked me. With in the matter of two months he went from saying 'I support you in anything you do baby' to you are so irresponsible i don't understand why you have to go to school, you don;t need school ect. You have done all these things that pissed me off. I don't want you around.
Then fast forward to five months, he calls me out of the blue before Christmas time. He said he's sad too. It's good to hear my voice. WTF. He was all nice again. I dont understand. I'm still crushed. I still have some of my belongings at his house. I had packed up my apartment (no we didnt live together) with the intention of going to school. I was storing my things at his house before he broke up with me. I didn't end up going to school this year because I was crushed. He left me just before school started. I'm not blaming him, I also had a lot of stressful events happen in my life during the same time. My ex leaving me was the icing on the cake. I just dont understand I thought I was a really nice girlfriend. I tried my best.

Noy

November 02, 2015 @ (Los Angeles )

Tags: Everything happens for a reason

We met my sophomore year of high school, his junior. He was tall, lean, blonde and gorgeous. At the beginning, I was normal. I treated him right and gave him everything. Gave him my virginity a couple months in, there was nothing I wouldnt give him. But a year and a half had passed so quickly. I didnt notice how awful of a person i had became. I was so irritated by his stupidity, even when he was not stupid. I was angry and I felt trapped, I blamed him for my sadness. I treated him so terrible and I took his love for granted. Though, after a year I had began noticing my abuse to him and decided i wanted to be better for him. I began changing, showing him my love, spoiling him. I wanted to make it up to him. But my damage was done. In the remaining months of our relationship when we first got out first job, he began talking to this girl. He started to not call me, text me, see me. I would ask him why and he responded that he didn't know why. That he forgot. The now and then we did hang, he was texting her. He said she was helping him pursue his dream of drawing. I said okay. He just grew so distant and I was growing so attached. The day he broke up with me was outside my house, I was late for work but needed to see him since he used every excuse to not see me. He finally did, and we broke up. I lead it on. I knew he wasnt happy, that i didnt make him happy. So i encouraged him to break up, and that we were going to be okay. He cried. I did too. He agreed and he ended it. Except... he kissed me goodbye. That was when I felt such pain and disbelief, how could i have let him go? i drove to work in tears, almost got into an accident. I was such a mess and in such a shock. I texted him i didnt want to break up, he didnt reply. I ended up calling and he picked up, explaining this is what he wanted, then saying it wasnt, then saying it was, then saying it wasnt. So i indeed kept hope. We made a deal that he would come to his decision the following thursday a week from then. I kept hope. I called him that monday asking id he had made a decision, he said yes. He made it a while ago, but he wasnt going to tell me till friday. That break up was the most painful thing i have ever dealt with. I had a lot of problems that he only knew about, i was open with him completely. Trusted him. Love him. I had made him my world and left all my friends. When he dumped me, I had no one. So i rebounded. cried. rebounded. cried. Then realized that everything happens for a reason. In this case, i was a terrible person to him. He brought out the worse in me. He didnt deserve it. Im glad he dumped me, i wouldnt have worked hard to change my ways. He wouldnt have been so happy. Hes the one who got away and I miss him. Will always love him. And I am sorry.

Noy

November 02, 2015 @ (Los Angeles )

Tags: Everything happens for a reason

Sophie

September 21, 2015 @ (Uk)

Tags: Breakup

I met this guy online. I was in the process of ending a 3 year relationship. He came out of the blue, we started talking, texting, skype and we talked hours on the phone. He told me I was Mrs. Right and that he was going to marry me. I fell so jard for him. He lives in another stTe and i was making plans to visit him next month and eventually move there we had so much in common. He used the right words, he was everything I wanted. I was in lo e like I habe never been. He needed to get a job because his mom was going to kick him out and since he wasn't studying because his parents are facing a financial situation he needed a job and also because he has a project and needs money to accomplish that. He found a job and it was good he was happy and I was happy for him. He wanted to be the best at it and just succeed I totally understand that I told him I support you, we are a team. His schedule was hectic and some days he worked 16 hours. We barely talked and he told me that this was going to be at first until everything settle. We fouvht because there were days I didn't heard from him, and we fix it, then we fouvht again. He became distNt and stop saying i love you. I sent him a package with stuff and he put it as his profile picture then 2 weeks ago changed it. I told him lets forget our problems lets just focus on the future and support each other blahblah he didn't reply so i said okay nextday he said sorry i just read it and i was having a bad moment so couldnt reply. We havent talked he said that two saturdays ago so last wednesday i texted saying whats up noreply but he texted wuth my friend he ignores me. I turned my phone off since thursday because i have been crying for two weeks, i feel dead inside. I dont eat, cant sleep i am so depressed and i have my plane ticket and i dont know if i should go or not. I dont know what to do. This is the first breakup that made me feel like there is no more hope that maybe he has anew gf or he just played with me. Or that i am not worth fighting for.ido feel worthless and cant stop crying. Also i lost mu job so i dont have anything to look forward

K

August 23, 2015 @ (first state)

Tags: evil, wrong, cheating

Okay, so this is extreme. When I mean extreme, I mean this is some messed up Jerry Springer sh*t.
I dated this guy H for about 6 months. Oddly enough I really thought he was a good guy (big mistake). So one day I got a phone call from a friend.
She told me "k, you gotta sit down."
I sat and she says "H had sex with :blank:, right after you had sex with him. I mean literally, when you left, they did it. She listened in before and she's telling everyone they planned it out."
I threw up... a lot. Not because he cheated on me, because :blank: was 13 and H was 18 and she was listening in on me, us and they planned it. WHO DOES THAT????
The police were told and since :blank: kept telling the police different stories [she did stick with it was consensual] about how/when/where it happened, they didn't press charges.
A few months later I saw her (before the police dropped the case) and the first thing out of her mouth was "So, H will be out of jail when I'm 18." with a huge grin. I really thought I was on the twilight zone.
The whole thing has stuck with me for years. I feel so sick and angry when I'm reminded of it. Since we all live in a small state, I see them sometimes and I just want to puke. They date and worse of all, they act like what they did was ok.

Caroline

July 04, 2015 @ (indonesia)

Tags: bad breakup

my boyfriend broke up with me 2 days ago, 11 days before my birthday. we had a 10 months of long distance relationship and had not seen each other for 5 months. he planned to come visit me on my birthday but now it's very unlikely. truthfully speaking, i was in an emotionally abusive relationship where my boyfriend would yell at me all the time, i thought that i should be more patient dealing with him because he is actually a really nice person and he is just having a lot of work stress. his priorities had been clear since day 1, his work is his number 1. i love him very much and i tried hard to work on our issues but he just didnt care much about me or our relationship. after the break up i asked him why he fight for his work like no end but he easily gave up on someone he loves? he simply said because i disturbed his work. he blamed me for the breakup, saying i should have been more patient, just 2 more weeks and we can be together etc etc. and when i told him i tried hard he said it was because i tried too hard he became uncomfortable. i just dont understand his way of thinking and while i am very sad and devastated right now, i am glad i got out of the relationship. i guess i just got myself an early birthday present from him, a break up over the phone 11 days before my birthday :')