I am lost in my heart and my soul. I am very active in my church and I spend a great deal of time proselytizing to help bring others to Christ. Ever since I was 14 our minister has taken a special hand in my learning of Gods will and ways. He even encouraged me to date his adopted daughter Svetlana after he brought her here from Russia. A couple of years later, Pastor Williams encouraged me to marry Svetlana even though we were both still in school. We were married when I was 16 and she was 14. I was nervous as I was a virgin on our wedding night and I wanted to take it slow but Svetlana was very insistant that we have sex. We made love once, then she never wanted to do it any more. 6 months later our beautiful daughter Kima was born, 8 lbs 4 ounces and looked just like her mother. Pastor Williams was so helpful always offering to look after my wife and baby when ever he sent me out to spread the word of God. I had to leave school, because Pastor told me God spoke to him and said I was to be his beacon in the land to guide folks to his eternal love. I was often gone from home for many days and sometimes weeks as Pastor gave me instructions on where to spread His word. One day I was traveling near our home town, so I decided to stop in to see my family. When I went in to our trailer, I found my wife and Pastor Williams asleep in our bed. I could see they were both naked. I was so confused and I left without saying anything. A few days later, I talked to Pastor about it and he said the two of them had been praying and speaking in tongues. They had both been so posessed by the spirit, they chose to bare themselves to the Lord. He assured me that they had not engaged in fornication and that they both were just so exhausted they fell asleep. I believed him because I know he would never lie as it is a sin. Well, last week I found out Svetlana is pregnant again and her and I have not had sex since our wedding night. When I asked the Pastor for guidance, he told me I needed to "man up" and take care of my family. He explained to me that some women can carry a mans seed for years and have several children from only one mating. But then a sister in the church told me that she knew Pastor and my wife were committing adultry and that Pastor is actually the father of my Kima and my unborn child. I dont know who to believe, but I am so hurting in my soul. I think this may be the Lord testing me, or perhaps Satan trying to destry another of God's unions. I asked Svetlana to be truthful with me, and she just left and went to tell Pastor that I am being sinful in mistrusting her. I got on the internet to seek answers and somehow wound up on this site. I see so much pain here, and somehow feel kinship with it. But I also want you all to know, God loves you all, and he wants only your happiness. God has a plan. May he bless us all, Amen.
Tags: army break up
Heres a little backround first; Well I started dating this girl April first, a year ago.. This being my senior year in high school, we did about everything together.. Homecoming, prom, etc.... I gave up so much for this girl. I lost so many friends to just be with this girl. I could honestly say this was my first love, and my longest relationship so far... Since mom ey is tight with my family, I thought the best solution for me to go to college was enlist with the Army..heres where my story begins....
I had to head off to boot August 2nd.. To fort benning, for infantry training, right before I left my family and her went out to dinner and such, really had a nice time.. Everything was perfect between us, gave her a final kiss good bye, and off I went..
So basic started I wrote this girl, every single day for nine Weeks... She wrote me twice, toward thr beginning, everything seemed okay, she said she missed and loved me etc..then she just stopped. I kept writing, and wondering whats going on.. At week 9 we got our 36 hour pass. I call her up and she literally was just like "oh hey" in thr most unenthusiastic voice ever, I was so excited to talk to her, she was all that was on my mind for Weeks... And she didnt even care.... We ended up fighting over it.. I was pretty unhappy about it. I expected a bigger reaction I guess..
I ended up breaking my leg and sent home for con leave, comes to find out shes been seeing another dude, she changed her status to single on fb and starts hittin up all these guys... After all this, I still wanted to try and make it work. She acts like im the bad guy, and I deserve this... I just dont get, after dating for a year and a half, I couldn't even get a letter saying "f you, im done" or anything... She just left me in the cold..I still think about her to this day. I've been miserable since she left me, no girl has made me feel the way she did.
Tags: broke relationship, miss, him
It all started at the end of 9th grade, when I was 15 years old, he was in my french class but i never noticed him much, until he added me on facebook and there it all began! We talked for hours and hours 2 hours went to 5-6 hours, but I never dared talking to him in person, because I was to shy. After we graduated from ninth grade, we still kept in touch and we had our first date in July that summer and, already that night he asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend but I said I didn't wanted that yet, and later on after 2 weeks at our second date,i was childish and when he told me his hands were cold and i told him " I know what you're up to" and i held his hand and i told him so are we together now, and since 23-11-10 , we became a couple. We kept it a secret and everything was perfect! Then after 3 months I admitted that I wasn't that in to him from the beginning, I've realized today, that i should never do something before i give it a further thought. And he broke up with me and I tried to convince him to get back together, but he said he didn't trusted me, but we got back together. And then 3 months further he broke up again because he felt I treated him badly, like a bitch and stuff but then again I convinced to get back together and we did. I never realized my mistakes,before its to late! Then since then its been an down hill roller coaster. I did the most dumbest thing ever on our 1st year anniversary, i broke up with him, because he avoided me for a whole week and we fought. It was another mistake. A day later we talked and we got back together again, then 2 months later we fought, and his best friend told me to call my boyfriend and talk about it, but it ended badly and we broke up over the phone, and then we got back again and 2 months ahead, which is by today, we had an argument a week ago and he told me our sex is bad and he was sick of the relationship and we broke up and got back together at the same time, and now its been 5 days since he broke up with me again because I've been grumpy, and bitchy whenever he mentions something i dislike. We didn't talked for 2 days and then he texted me and we argued even more and few hours later he texted back he missed me and i missed him to ofc! And we had a stable conversation and decided to be single and figure things out, but the next day i already asked him if he had decided,what we should do and he told me ladies first, and I've been thinking of it, and I told me it would be better being single, since I've hurt him many times and I was scared and his respond, was just lot of mean,harsh,hurtful words and he said i should give him back all his presents, and that would be a sign its over. But I never handed them over, I still wear the necklace he gave me.
It has been 5 days now, and im going crazy, we have so much in-common and have this good communication with each other, we could text and talk for 12 hours or the whole day exactly, without getting sick of each other.
He has been special to me, since the first time I meet him, I wanted to get to know him, since the day we became a couple, I've changed, i know I'm only 17 now but i love him so much, he was really good to me, he was there whenever i needed him and just stood out with whatever emotion i had, and spoiled me even though i never asked him for much, and he was a gentlemen, except when we argued, he would turn into a huge jerk. Despite all that we've been through, i didn't understood him well before, after all we've been trough over a year now and 4 months, we've handled many things together, and i've supported him with everything we did, even woke up at 5 am and surprised him at the train station just coz i missed him so much <3. Its hard breaking up, i miss him and ive been crying ever since, and i cant even eat properly or even concentrate on things, he is always on my mind. It feels like I've lost him forever, but I still want to hear from him in a few days.
Tags: 1
I was clear on my intentions when I told the universe what I wanted "Somebody who loves me as I am" and he showed up. He was funny, flirty, nervous, self conscious and lacked confidence. Why? God knows because he was handsome, fit, funny and available. We worked together and at first i did not want to work with him because he had a sarcastic and surly streak, but over time he won me with his charm. It was an intense and passionate love right from the start, but i had to acknowledge that even with all his flirting, I was the one who asked him out. He reciprocated and we had afternoon dates over lunch and long walks. then we started sleeping together and I told him that I loved him. That didn't go over very well. We dated steadily for 2 months when he went on a holiday. The people he was going to meet up with seemd a strange mix but I didn't know him that well at the time.
Turns out he met up with a woman from his past who drifted into the spot of "platonic friend." I said he needed to make clear his intentions with her. She kept calling and he kept answering.
Then she became this regular part of his/our life but she lived in the states so was far removed. I started to get jealous and we had our first of many break ups over his lack of honesty and the way he painted the picture of her involvement in his life. i was in love with him, saw him every day at work and couldn't break free form his emotional pull. I took a transfer. that worked for a week or two and then we started speaking again and seeing each other again but it was not th same. He started to pint out my flaws, I saw his evasiveness and aloof behaviour more clearly. We started to disagree. Eventually i watched him openly flirt with another woman at a cocktail party and knew that it was time to move on. He denied it of course, called me jealous, said I was hot and cold with him. We had tickets to the company Christmas party so agreed to still go together. there was no magic anymore. He won a door prize of jewellery at the party and reluctantly gave it to me. My co-workers thought his distance was strange. I tried so hard not to belittle him or be angry with him but it was hard. He drove me home, we said our goodbyes, he was cold and distant, the man I knew hm to be in the beginning, the man i didn't want to work next to. I asked him why he would start dating me again if he wasn't that interested. He said he was sorry about that. And then it was over. Now I'm working on a different floor and working through this breakup so that I can continue on in finding love. I just wasn't clear in my intentions.
Tags: first part
alrighty i met her 4 day into school she came into class and i noticed her quickly we began talking and 3 weeks later we were freinds she broke her leg and i would take her to class carry her books until i told her i really liked her and she told me we needed to talk about it we did but i was only expressing myself to her and went ahead and asked her to homecoming we had lt of good moments and the day of homecoming during a song i kissed her we went at it crazy and i asked her to be my girlfreind she said yes and we had a great night during a week we loved and lueghed and on the tenth day she said she wasnt ready and left me stranded with a note i read to myself alot im going to try getting her back but i need some advice help a bro out thanks
Tags: long distance, long relation
I ended my 7 year long relation few days back.It started when I was 16. A high school romance...butterflies in the stomach and stuff...We went to college to different cities but it kept on. She was in a girl's college with no guys around. She used to come to meet me sometimes but meetings were rare and it took months for us to meet. We kept together by phone and occassional meetings. I was too emotionally attached to her and felt the same for her as well. Years passed, I thought our love grew stronger. We were different people. I was very ambitious and a little introvert. She was a complete extrovert, liked attention and was not much into career. During college I found a few girls who I thought were more mature than she was but I loved her for what she was, never ever thought of snapping it...Over the years I created an illusion(atleast now I feel so) that she was the one and we are together for eternity. I faced some really difficult time in 2010 and she was rock solid by my side.My love and respect grew for her. I reciprocated in the same way. Being by her side everytime. She said she respected me for that. Finally we got a job in the same city and after 4 long years we were together again. Could meet. I felt complete. I thought our relation was evolving. I got more serious. Told my family. She did the same.(not Mom and dad, but others).I was very happy with her. I felt she was happy with me as well. In july, I got busy with an office assignment, she said she was busy as well.I did not care as I trusted her. In october I was out of the country for work. We were talking still.Perfectly fine. No issues. I came back in November. It was her birthday on 6th. I wanted to be with her 24x7 and told her so. She agreed. But on 4th, she called me and said she wanted to party with friends. After some discussion and my failed attempts to change her mind, it was agreed that she would party with her friends. I was sad. But still wanted to be with her. On her Bday night, I found her lying to me about a guy's call the other night.He was an office colleague whom she knew for 6 months.Trvial issue I thought, we discussed and she said she shouldn't have lied, apologised. I was happy. But to my surprise I caught her lying again. Same day. I was angry. We talked and she confessed that she kissed that guy on her bday. She told it to be an impulsive one and only a one time thing..I asked her to choose between the guy and me. To my freaking surprise she said she is having a strong feeling towards him. I was miserable. I somehow persuaded her to meet me and not think of snapping a 7 year relation just like that. We met the next day, talked.I was so scared that night that I slept holding her hand and kept murmuring,"Please, dont go, dont go" and she kept telling me she wont. She agreed that she made a mistake and she must stop it. But somehow, she was not happy. After a long discussion the next day, she confessed that her bday was not the first time and she had been cheating on me while I was out of the country in October. I was broken. We used to talk every day then and she had no guilt. Nothing. I asked her to forget him and come back. But she did not. She said she could not stop talking to him.. She gave up a 7 year relation for a guy whom she knows just for 5 months. The guy knew about it all around that she was committed. Yet....I feel horrible right now. All the time I was out, I kept telling people that she's waiting for me to get back..she was even calling me and telling me that she missed me and wanted me back soon. But in reality she was in someone else's arms. I don't know if I would ever be able to forget this. I don't know if I would ever be able to love anyone now..I could not believe it..I mean it was all OK for me till 6th, not even the slightest hint.I was buying stuff for her bday.and on 9th, it was over....I feel broken...and find solace only in alcohol
Tags: confused, hurt, lost, change, embarrassing
We met in September 2010, at a friend's flat party. He whisked me off to the Isle of Skye for three days of surreal relaxation. We didn't even know each other but both wanted an adventure. I was his after that.
The next year was one of the best. Truly, I was so happy. He was my best friend, we spent most of our time together. He wrote me songs, letters, drew me pictures. I visited his family, he met mine, we all got on. Not one person in my life disliked him. We never argued, and he knew me better than anybody else.
However, this September, things changed. He became more interested in University work and University friends. I can understand that completely, we live in different cities, about 40 minutes apart, but he had literally no time for me, and reminded me of that constantly. He told me to put up with it for the next year and a half.
Things exploded and we broke up over the phone. He then phoned me ten times, I ignored, and he turned up at my flat, on the verge of tears, with a letter saying how sorry he is and how he realises now that he was wrong. I told him we both need to take a bit of room to breathe.
A week later, I asked him to meet up for a coffee, expecting him to be in a similar, apologetic mind set, and with hopes we could find a new way forward, things were going to change. Instead, he told me his life is a lot less stressful without me. "It's not that I don't like you" he said, and proceeded to talk about how we should be friends because we get on so well. He showed no emotion whatsoever. I met him at 3 and was waiting for a train home by 20 past 3. He told me about the "cool" parties he's been to with his friends and the nights he has planned, how some girl was nipping his thigh at the last one and being very weird with him.
I didn't show any emotion. I was relentlessly 'nice' because I didn't want him to have all of the power, or anything to hold against me. Now I'm just trying to pick up the pieces.
Tags: mom, jealous, hatful, pathetic, envious, loyal, family, breakup, sad, relief
I was with the same person for about 5 years. Just this person only literally. friends started drifting away and it was just us 24/7. i loved the person i was with but their mom i found to be very viscous and evil, not even to me but her one and only daughter. she use to talk about my girl to her friends back home and to family members about my girl private business, use to only call her to gossip, when my girl needed her, usually she was never there only was there, here and there financially. she acted more like a obsessed x girlfriend then a mom. i use to feel like knocking sense into her ass constantly.99 percent of our physical and verbal fights have to do with my girlfriends mom and as wrong as her mom is to her and how hurtful her mom is to my girlfriend she continues to call her and emails her and tells her she loves her regardless of the pathetic wrongful relationship they have. sometimes when we fight about how her mom treats her she says to me that regardless thats her mom and if she really needs her she will be there no matter what. thats why we broke up. because when she needs some money her mom knew eventually she would come back to her and what she did wrong to my girlfriend would be washed away because my girlfriends needed her for money. its emotionally distressful honestly and noone really should be with someone that either dont get along with their mom (in particular) or who wouldnt get along with someones mom because whether they are in your life everyday or not, when they come around it will just be a pain in the ass and you'll just be sitting there looking stupid wondering what the fuck is out there better for you. this is a great website to to let shit out. its hard investing time and love in something that comes with the opposite of what you have to give. not worth it.
Tags: November 9/11
My ex-boyfriend and I where together for 2 1/2 yrs. Everything was great! We we're together all the time, except when we went to work. And still on breaks conversated. Great connection, conversation, companionship, we understood one another. Everyone told us how great we we're as a couple and could see our chemistry. Our loved continued to grow throughout the relationship. We we're bestfriends, soulmates and lover, everything you could ever image and fantasy about having in a relationship.
Last week we broke off. I believe that he's blowing the situation way out of proportion. Here's what happened: He was hanging out with he's friend and than called to see if it would be alright if his friend came over. Everything was cool. He told me he wanted to be closer to me. They arrived, I gave them some space. Their drinking and having a good time hanging out in the back yard, then they came in and It sounds like my guy is being a bully towards his friend, and a fight is about to pop off. So, I ended up going down stairs and his friend looks so sick, like he's dying. So, I bypass my boyfriend and asked his friend if he wants me to gave him a ride home, and I try to joke around and tell him a story that my guy did to me when we had a couple of drinks. Any way from there we had a little argurment. He left with his friend and came back and packed all of his stuff up. I told him he's blowing the whole thing way out of proportion.
I've apologized so much and even to he's friend, he's forgiven me, but he says that I've betrayed our relationship and put a pink elephant in room, when there shouldn't be one. He say he trust me because I never cheated or have done anything else. But he doesn't trust that I have the best judgement for what the relationship should be.
At this time frame he just wants to be friends and told me that I hurt him. I didn't knowly want to do that. I know he loves me the way that I love him. But it's hard to be just friends, when you want so much more. We still talk approx. 5hrs a day, but he chooses not to see me at this time frame. Somedays, I end up crying to him and he tells me that I shouldn't have done what I did. That make me feel even worst. Because I realize the error of my ways and I've lost my bestfriend. The situation is messed up.
A week prior to this arguement was my birthday and he surprized me with a ring and put it on one finger and than surprized me with another for the other hand. I know he's hurt and I'm hurt too. Just don't know what to do.
Tags: Break up
We started talking after I got out of a really bad relationship. I had some work done to my vehicle so I could make a trip a few hours away to see friends I had been kept from during what seemed like the worst relationship ever. The guy working on my vehicle passed me his number and I was willing to get over my ex so bad that I took the chance with this one. Before we hooked up, I did my research and found out he was engaged. Though I didn't confront him immediately, I had planned to when we decided to see each other outside of his work. I met him at the place he was staying for some sexual tension release after a week of txting. That's when I confronted him about his fiancée. He told me that she hadn't been showing any interest in him and although I felt wrong for agreeing to have sex with him while he was engaged, I took pity. Before we had sex I asked "are you sure you want to do this?" And he said yes. After that, a week later or so he broke up with her and we started dating....
I should have know... it was wrong. They were high school sweethearts and I felt like I was a monster for stopping a love like that but I fell in love with him. I was more than a fool. I was the worst person in the world.
One night after he got out of work, I went over to his house. And broke up with him. This on and off relationship of three months of him going back and forth from me to her was pathetic. I told him me should go back to her.. and that it was stupid for him to be apart from her. They belonged.
I haven't gotten over him. I still love him with all of my heart. But I'm hoping I did the right thing. Even if it cost me my mind and my heart.
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