Searching for "test"

63 Results For 'test'

Heartbroken Girl

January 15, 2012 @ (Austria)

Well, here's my story..
About 2 weeks ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. To be honest, he has been breaking up with me for the past 2 years. Basically, the first year was more than just perfect. It was more I thought possible! I loved him so much, I would have done anything for me and I knew he felt the same way about me.

So after a year, he broke up with me for the first time. I probably did the worst thing possible after that: I begged him to stay with me and tried to convince him for an hour to give us another chance - which he did eventually.
The weird thing was, that in those next few days, he would be everything I wanted. Kind, sweet, caring, telling me how much he loved me and that he couldn't imagine living a life without me.

This lasted for about 2 months when he broke up with me again. I didn't beg him to stay with me anymore, but after some days he came back, telling me how sorry he was and that he badly wanted us to be together again - I went back.
You see the pattern there, I guess..

So, that's how it would be: breakin up, getting back together, being completely in love again, breaking up..
After 2 years, I wasn't myself anymore. My life revolved around him, he was the center of my universe and that's when I completely lost myself.. I was trying to be the perfect girlfriend, to never make him angry, to always do what he wanted me to do, but it didn't matter. No matter what I did, he would still breake up with me after telling me the day before that I was everything he wanted.

I was confused, devastated, hurt. So, about half a year ago, after one of his breakups I knew, I couldn't take it anymore. I even had to get professional help and take antidepressants to get through the day. It was the hardest time of my life and there were times, were I didn't just want to die (which I did daily), but when I thought I actually would because of the pain.
The only thing that helped me was knowing that he didn't have anyone else and I tried to tell myself he would come back eventually. After some time, I even thought, I had found myself again and I didn't need him anymore.

So, 3 months ago, he texted me, saying how much he wanted me and another chance with me. When he came over, I knew I never stopped loving him, but at least I was able to keep control of myself. He noticed of course, that I had changed and he was everything I always wanted him to be. He even was full of doubts, saying how scared he was, that I wouldn't want him anymore and that he was so sorry for what he had done and that he had the feeling that everything was better now.
I really thought, he had a wakeup call and that he finally knew, he didn't want to be without me. Everytime I went out with my friends, he was so scared that I would meet someone else that I even felt sorry for him, because I really didn't want him to feel bad. So I would always say the sweetest things, when he called or texted me, because I wanted his doubts to go away - while I was out, supposed to be having fun. I liked doing it though, because it showed me, he cared!

We didn't see each other that often during the last 3 months, because we both had a lot of work to do and we wanted to take things slow. We didn't spend christmas and new year's eve together because he was visiting his family. I really missed him and he also always said how much he was looking forward to seeing me again. I believed him.
On new year's eve, while I was out celebrating, he kept texting me, calling me, saying that he was so scared I would do anything stupid and that he wanted to remind me how happy he was to be seeing me the next day.

So, when he came to visit me, he was kind and sweet and he stayed over. The next day, after sleeping with me once more of course, he broke up with me.. For the last time now, because a few days ago I found out he was already in a relationship with another woman..
After ONE week..

How come, I am so easy to forget? That he's living his life with someone else, happy, while I don't even know how to get up in the morning?
Everyone keeps telling me, that I would get over him eventually and that I'm oh so young (20) so of course I would fall in love again - and maybe they are right!

But... I know that there are people out there, never able to let go, who always find themselves hurt and miserable again, everytime they see that person.
I don't want to end up like that, I don't, but what if I'm one of those people? What if everytime I'm going to see him alone or with his new girlfriend, my hearts just breaks all over again?
How do I know that I'll be able to let go?

It felt good to get this of my chest..
With all my love,

a heartbroken girl

Eldon Matashaw

December 30, 2011 @ (Lebanon Missouri)

Tags: love, marriage, god

I am lost in my heart and my soul. I am very active in my church and I spend a great deal of time proselytizing to help bring others to Christ. Ever since I was 14 our minister has taken a special hand in my learning of Gods will and ways. He even encouraged me to date his adopted daughter Svetlana after he brought her here from Russia. A couple of years later, Pastor Williams encouraged me to marry Svetlana even though we were both still in school. We were married when I was 16 and she was 14. I was nervous as I was a virgin on our wedding night and I wanted to take it slow but Svetlana was very insistant that we have sex. We made love once, then she never wanted to do it any more. 6 months later our beautiful daughter Kima was born, 8 lbs 4 ounces and looked just like her mother. Pastor Williams was so helpful always offering to look after my wife and baby when ever he sent me out to spread the word of God. I had to leave school, because Pastor told me God spoke to him and said I was to be his beacon in the land to guide folks to his eternal love. I was often gone from home for many days and sometimes weeks as Pastor gave me instructions on where to spread His word. One day I was traveling near our home town, so I decided to stop in to see my family. When I went in to our trailer, I found my wife and Pastor Williams asleep in our bed. I could see they were both naked. I was so confused and I left without saying anything. A few days later, I talked to Pastor about it and he said the two of them had been praying and speaking in tongues. They had both been so posessed by the spirit, they chose to bare themselves to the Lord. He assured me that they had not engaged in fornication and that they both were just so exhausted they fell asleep. I believed him because I know he would never lie as it is a sin. Well, last week I found out Svetlana is pregnant again and her and I have not had sex since our wedding night. When I asked the Pastor for guidance, he told me I needed to "man up" and take care of my family. He explained to me that some women can carry a mans seed for years and have several children from only one mating. But then a sister in the church told me that she knew Pastor and my wife were committing adultry and that Pastor is actually the father of my Kima and my unborn child. I dont know who to believe, but I am so hurting in my soul. I think this may be the Lord testing me, or perhaps Satan trying to destry another of God's unions. I asked Svetlana to be truthful with me, and she just left and went to tell Pastor that I am being sinful in mistrusting her. I got on the internet to seek answers and somehow wound up on this site. I see so much pain here, and somehow feel kinship with it. But I also want you all to know, God loves you all, and he wants only your happiness. God has a plan. May he bless us all, Amen.

Poor Guy

December 01, 2011 @ (India)

Tags: long distance, long relation

I ended my 7 year long relation few days back.It started when I was 16. A high school romance...butterflies in the stomach and stuff...We went to college to different cities but it kept on. She was in a girl's college with no guys around. She used to come to meet me sometimes but meetings were rare and it took months for us to meet. We kept together by phone and occassional meetings. I was too emotionally attached to her and felt the same for her as well. Years passed, I thought our love grew stronger. We were different people. I was very ambitious and a little introvert. She was a complete extrovert, liked attention and was not much into career. During college I found a few girls who I thought were more mature than she was but I loved her for what she was, never ever thought of snapping it...Over the years I created an illusion(atleast now I feel so) that she was the one and we are together for eternity. I faced some really difficult time in 2010 and she was rock solid by my side.My love and respect grew for her. I reciprocated in the same way. Being by her side everytime. She said she respected me for that. Finally we got a job in the same city and after 4 long years we were together again. Could meet. I felt complete. I thought our relation was evolving. I got more serious. Told my family. She did the same.(not Mom and dad, but others).I was very happy with her. I felt she was happy with me as well. In july, I got busy with an office assignment, she said she was busy as well.I did not care as I trusted her. In october I was out of the country for work. We were talking still.Perfectly fine. No issues. I came back in November. It was her birthday on 6th. I wanted to be with her 24x7 and told her so. She agreed. But on 4th, she called me and said she wanted to party with friends. After some discussion and my failed attempts to change her mind, it was agreed that she would party with her friends. I was sad. But still wanted to be with her. On her Bday night, I found her lying to me about a guy's call the other night.He was an office colleague whom she knew for 6 months.Trvial issue I thought, we discussed and she said she shouldn't have lied, apologised. I was happy. But to my surprise I caught her lying again. Same day. I was angry. We talked and she confessed that she kissed that guy on her bday. She told it to be an impulsive one and only a one time thing..I asked her to choose between the guy and me. To my freaking surprise she said she is having a strong feeling towards him. I was miserable. I somehow persuaded her to meet me and not think of snapping a 7 year relation just like that. We met the next day, talked.I was so scared that night that I slept holding her hand and kept murmuring,"Please, dont go, dont go" and she kept telling me she wont. She agreed that she made a mistake and she must stop it. But somehow, she was not happy. After a long discussion the next day, she confessed that her bday was not the first time and she had been cheating on me while I was out of the country in October. I was broken. We used to talk every day then and she had no guilt. Nothing. I asked her to forget him and come back. But she did not. She said she could not stop talking to him.. She gave up a 7 year relation for a guy whom she knows just for 5 months. The guy knew about it all around that she was committed. Yet....I feel horrible right now. All the time I was out, I kept telling people that she's waiting for me to get back..she was even calling me and telling me that she missed me and wanted me back soon. But in reality she was in someone else's arms. I don't know if I would ever be able to forget this. I don't know if I would ever be able to love anyone now..I could not believe it..I mean it was all OK for me till 6th, not even the slightest hint.I was buying stuff for her bday.and on 9th, it was over....I feel broken...and find solace only in alcohol

Gordon

November 21, 2011 @ (Newtown)

Tags: cheating

Everyone is prone to being cheated on, no matter if you are male or female, I don’t care if society says men are more likely to cheat. Being a male I am one of those guys who thinks it is completely unnecessary and cruel to cheat on someone who treats you like a princess and cares for you. So here is my story and I hope to get a lot of feedback from this. Thank you. So two year ago my girlfriend, we’ll call her “She-Devil”,moved back home from Arizona to live with her mom and to get away from all the bullshit out west. I met her through facebook, I got a message from here saying hello. We talked and hung out that day. Who could blame her, you move back home knowing no buddy but family, why not try and find people to hand out with. So that first week we felt instantly in love and all that great bullshit that goes along with a new lover. I was living on my own and she with her mom. My lease was running out and about 10 months of being together, we had this great idea of me moving in with her and her mom, and turn her basement into a living area for us to live in. I built a god damn basement for this girl. I loved doing it because I love seeing my girl happy. Along with many other little thinks, like buying the “just because” rose, and small things. O! and I got her a job working with my sister at an animal clinic. So for another year we were living the sweetest live together at that house, felt just like were I thought I belonged. So a month or two ago, she starts to act really distant and unhappy. Work was stressful but she would always come home and talk about it. Nothing. I would do what ever I could to make her happy. Got a card and wrote her a note. Leave post it notes saying how much I loved her where she could find. Just cute little thinks to get a smile out of her and in a way it seemed as if she was faking it. So I never really thought of her as a cheater, but during this month, one of her clients asked her if she could watch his dogs for him while he is at work. Extra money, who wouldn’t.
We had no sex life during this last month and she always seemed to doll herself up on the days that she would go “watch his dogs”. So this last Friday I over hear here talking to her mom about when to break up with me. I confronted her and that night she told me how she “wanted to be alone” she “isn’t sure what she wants” she “needs to spend time and find out who she is and what she needs to do it live.” Fucking high school bullshit, excuse. So it was the hardest thing for me, because of the fact that I cared about her so much and literally built a life for us to start. I was lead on so much to think that we would be together for much much longer. So that night I take off to vent with my buddies and I returned to fall asleep next to her. No matter how upset I was, I felt comfort in laying next to her. The next morning I get a phone call from my sister telling me to get my shit and get the fuck out of that house. I asked why, feeling very scared, thinking I was in danger. She would not tell me why, just to grab my stuff and get out. She convinced my dad and her boyfriend to all help out, in one trip we grabbed all my shit and got out in 2 hours because my sis didn’t want any confrontation with her. She gets to deal with her at work. So during the drive back to my dads, my sister hits me with it. She-devil told her co-workers, who she thought were her friends, that she had been fucking this guy and bragging about how he’s going to build her an apartment, going to buy her a computer, and offered her a job at his company. She-devil also bragged about how big his dick was. What She-devil didn’t expect was that these “friends” of hers are far more loyal friends to my sister and felt the need to tell her all this, thank god. Well now other co-workers started telling her how they walked in on her and this guy in a back room in the office, she would always come in late and take long lunches. I’m living at my Dads now, depressing as fuck. She denied it all when I asked her about it and she said that all those people at work are making shit up. Yeah, cuz I believe that. I did so much for this girl only to find out that my average size, 25 year old cock isn’t good enough for this 21 year old Cunt, but a bigger 43 year old dick does the trick. What the FUCK!!!!!! I’ve been cheated on before but never by someone who I cared so much for and thought she did the same. Ugh, Fucking Gross.

Sandy

October 06, 2011 @ (Los Angeles)

Tags: Example 1

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. There is a fair age difference between us. His 26 and I'm 14 I've known him since I was about 8. I love him more then anything. And he loves me the exact same way. The age difference has always worried us. Everything was going perfectly. But then we had an argument over a phone bill, which he had made after calling my mobile off his parents house phone. I hated it when he spent money on me. Even the slightest bit. He continued to tell me how he was going to pay for it himself. Our relationship was something that no one knew about. And we planned on keeping it that way. It was long distance, but it was a sacrifice we both made. During the argument about the phone bill, he tells me how his mother found out exactly how old I am,after talking to a friend of hers from my home town. He tells me how she refuses to have him live under her roof. at this point I start to cry. Because I knew the outcome. He texted me saying how bad he felt about it, and how he felt like he had broken my heart ( that he did) but he wad going to have to think the situation through, and put our relationship on hold.I didn't reply to that message. And writing this two hours later, I don't plan to. It scares me, because his suffered depression and Suicide has been an outstanding option for him, his always told me that if he ever had to live without me he would kill himself. Lying in bed, I've deleted all his messages, and his number. The only thing stopping us is other people's opinions. I'm worried, and I miss him. I live in a small town, so it wil probably make it's way around anyways.. I really don't know what to do. His so protective, and he hates it when I talk to other boys. Even if it is just a polite conversation. The fact that my bestfriend was a boy means that I've lost him too. At the moment my phones turned off. And I'm just going to stay in bed. Just pray that he makes the right decision.

Jordyn

August 20, 2011 @ (Melbourne)

Tags: bleh

I was dating this guy and at first everything was great, but then I starting to feel like something wasn't quite right(and I've always had really good instincts). So I asked him if he was seeing someone else or sleeping with someone else, and he said he wasn't and convinced me that my instincts weren't right. Then all of a sudden he just stopped talking to me, he literally ignored my calls for a week, he told my best friend more about what was going on then he did to me. He claimed he had no money and was getting evicted,although this I heard from my best friend who also told me that he said he had more important things to worry about then me. Two weeks later I went to the doctors and found he had given me an STI, I was furious, because this proved that he either lied to me and wasn't clean or he was but then started sleeping with other girls. I told him the day after and he insisted that it was my fault and put all the blame on me. I was absolutely furious because I had been tested before we had sex and I was clean. The next night while I was asleep he sent me a text saying "This isn't working...I'm sorry" I was so angry, then to add to my anger I went on to Facebook only to see that he was in a relationship with someone else, literally less then 10 minutes after texting me. Not to mention also that while we were dating he said he couldn't put our relationship on Facebook because he just never did it wasn't his "thing" too, but that was clearly a lie, he was dating this other girl, for who knows how long.

Clarissa

August 08, 2011 @ (Orlando, FL.)

Tags: Liar.

I probably deserved it. In fact, I know I did.
I created a fake IM to text my boyfriend of almost 1 1/2 years to see if he was as loyal as he says.
I made the girl my perfect opposite- nothing like me down to the typing.
I talked, flirted, tried my hardest to get him to like "her". It wouldn't work. He said the cutest things about us that made me fall in love with him all over again. The next time "we" talked though, I sent him a picture of some random hot girl on the internet. He exchanged pictures.
He said she was "adorable." all the while texting the REAL me, and saying I'm the only girl he has eyes for, the only one he finds adorable, pretty, gorgeous, beautiful, cute.
My heart dropped a thousand miles.
My throat choked up.
My eyes began to downpour.
"I" asked if his girlfriend would like this. He said he didn't know, then said that, "we could talk just as friends."
I wanted to tell him I caught him in his lie.
I was so hurt. We'd been together that long- I gave him my EVERYTHING, just for that in return.
I can never forgive him.
Never.

Tristan

August 05, 2011 @ (Miami)

Tags: pregnant, crushed, sad

She was pregnant, she didnt know it and when she decided to start a relationship with me she would never expect it too end the way it did.

We only knew each other for 5 months, but a connection grew. She started off liking me more and soon the feeling was mutual. This girl was a blast to be around, strong emotionally, funny and independent. She was confident and her presence brightened up the room.
She began to feel symptoms of being pregnant (which we initally thought were food poisoning) but after several test it was determind she was indeed pregnant.
She thought it was mine and for a moment I did too. But she came too the reliazation that it was from a past brief encounter from an old relationship. My gf was pregant with another mans child. I was crushed and although our new found fresh relationship was just begining, I relized then it had just ended. I was numb and hearing her have to end it, bawling and wishing she could change it was gut renching. I played it off but later in the day became a mess.

Our short relationship was more rewarding, enjoyable and stressfree than some longer ones I have been in. I wish her the best of luck but she will always be in my mind.

Summer Of Love

July 11, 2011 @ (usa)

Tags: firstlove, teen

I was 14 and hadn't ever had a boyfriend. When I found out he did actually like me, we starting falling together. Once it was "official," we were practically inseparable. He was the first guy I'd ever hugged, held hands with, had a arm around me (all romantic firsts of course, I'd hugged guys before, but not like this.) I was even all of those firsts for him, too.

About a month into it, we were at a party late on night and we all decided to play hide-and-go seek tag in the pitch black darkness. I wasn't chosen to be "it," so I ran and hid behind these bushes that I knew were the perfect spot. A couple minutes later, he dove back behind with me, although he didn't know I was there. I moved closer to him and, through the darkness, found his hand. He just whispered "missed you" so softly, and we had only been apart those couple minutes, I just.. fell. He was the nicest, sweetest guy I had ever known. I leaned my head in towards him, and we just kissed. It was one of those "I hope my first kiss goes like this:" stories.

He lived about 15 minutes away, so we weren't together every single day, but that made our time together every couple days even more cherished. Sometimes we'd go to our park and just sit there and talk about everything there is to talk about, for hours! Every time I would have to leave or he'd have to go, we hugged, and kissed each other. It was the best summer I'd ever had.

After a few months, he had become more than just my boyfriend, he q

McBill

June 30, 2011 @ (CA)

Tags: short-term, fun

I suppose it had to be done. It was ugly. Though I suppose there's no other way to break a girl's heart. Awkwardness will ensue, as we work together. The thought of leaving her room at 3:30am with her sobbing under her covers while her nasty roommate goes at it with her boy toy in the next room -- ugh. I hate hurting people. I should never have let it drag on so long. It was inconsiderate. I should not have told her that I regretted letting it drag on so long. That made it worse. Can't take that back.
I don't regret the time I spent with her. Not one bit. It was fun. She shouldn't feel dumb, although she probably does. It wasn't her fault that the relationship turned out this way. If I was the slightest bit open with my feelings, it wouldn't have ended so badly.
And I miss her already. I got so used to being with her every night. It's going to be hard to go back to being alone and miserable in this house. Lame friends, nothing much to do. I actually thought it would work itself out. I thought she was going to move away, and that things would work themselves out eventually. I was too much of a wussy to take it into my own hands.