Tags: depression, self-esteem
I had this friend that was going through some stuff just like I was. Both him and I were very depressed and so we started talking with one another. One thing after another, we ended up dating.
He lived in another city, so we couldn't see each other much but we talked/emailed each other nonstop everyday. We both thought things were pretty serious. On our official first date, he told me that he loved me and we had our very first kiss. And of course, this is lame but I had felt something when he kissed me. The very next day, he told me on the phone that we had to breakup. His mother told him to not date me for my good. She was afraid that he'd hurt me. I was really torn and depressed but we continued being friends but "with benefits." So it basically still felt like we were still dating. We'd still talk on the phone whenever we could and he'd always tell me that he loves me and other romantic things.
........But then I find out ONLINE that he started going out with this girl WHILE he was still talking with me and saying all that sweet stuff. And to add to it, I found out two WEEKS after they were dating. I was so pissed off and torn that I yelled at him to never talk to me. AND he had the nerve to say that he'd breakup with her if I wanted him to. I didn't want to hurt the other girl and so I told him to do whatever he wanted. He broke up with her and I added her as a friend on ----------. She blabbed out everything to me and said that they were true loves and etc. Then she had the nerve to say that he never liked me in the first place and that he was just thinking that he had feelings for me but in reality, he was madly in love with her.
Things got worse when I wanted to get the truth from him but I couldn't get into contact with him at all. But luckily, I was best friends with his sister and she told me about some things that he told her when he was dating me. He didn't feel anything when we kissed and he felt like he was pressured into saying that he loves me. She did me a favor and did a 3-way phone call and I listened into their conversation. I know it was wrong to do so but it cleared everything up. I heard him say that I reminded him of her ex from 3 years ago and so thats why he dated me. I became depressed and sad from that point on.
There were moments where I thought to myself that I should hate him for everything but I couldn't bring myself to do that. I blamed myself for it. I blamed myself for not noticing that he cut the time we usually talk together down. I blamed myself and said to myself that I deserved it. Even now, I think how could a plain girl like me ever get a guy like him to like me....I eventually gave up and now I don't enjoy everyday life and feel like I have to drag myself to make it through the day...
I started dating this guy right before he left for Marine Corps bootcamp. We wrote letters back and forth, and when he got home it was absolute bliss, we were both in love. So he finishes his training, during which he flies me out to NC from CA just to see me for 3 days. He tells me about his most recent ex, and old friend of mine whom I hadn't seen for years, who he broke up with because she was addicted to heroin. So sad, he just wanted to let me know she called him from rehab, apologizing for making him dump her because she chose the drugs over him. Just so you know...
Fast forward several weeks, he's back home, were still in love, he wants me to move to SD with him, but Im going to school in SC so it couldnt work out. But I spend the weekend with him, roll out of bed on Monday to go to class, we each say I love you...
...Apparently they got married while I was at school.
...While we were still dating.
...Before he broke up with me over a text message.
...And his MOM told me.
Ya. A motherfucking Marine. Thats honor, courage and commitment if I ever saw it.
Tags: Tags
My girlfriend of 9 years broke up with me to be with an old high school friend. The sad part is that I have a feeling that they will eventually get married within the next year or so. I’m absolutely crushed like never before. We’ve had our share of problems throughout our relationship and unfortunately it’s mostly my fault. I feel so stupid for taking her for granted.
We met in college back in 2001 and it started out as the most beautiful thing in this world that either of experienced. We were soul mates and were certain that we’d be together forever. It was like we were two peas in a pod, amongst a campus full of strangers and were very happy we found one another. It didn’t take us but 6 months to move in together we were so in love. However, after graduating college, I struggled for years, and was depressed even, to find a job. She supported us for most of our relationship as she was blessed with a wonderful career as an exceptional community organizer, which she now serves as the executive director of her organization. Me on the other hand, struggled immensely to find my passion, and had several dead end low paying jobs.. This was emotionally hard on me, and most certainly on her. However, we would make the best of our situation by taking various trips around the country and enjoying the natural bond we had for one another. We didn’t have to take trips really we enjoyed staying home together, whether we were intimately conversing about any topic or making passionate love. However, my career struggles took a severe toll on our relationship. I even went through a period of alcohol abuse, which lasted a couple of years. Eventually, after 4 great years she began to loose interest in me, and cheated on me a few times. Although I was obviously crushed, I took her back because I loved her so so much and believed we could work through anything, plus I always envisioned her as the mother of my kids. Fast forward to January 2008, I eventually found a job which pays great and I absolutely love-- finally I’m able to support us and feel good about myself in that regard. We celebrated the entire 2008 in the name of my success and life seemed golden--finally my career struggle was over! Unfortunately I started to drink again and lied several times about it and thus undermining any trust left. At that time, she started to give me warnings that I had to stop or else she’d leave. Fortunately I finally stopped, but we would still argue. She also began to voice, starting in mid-June of this year, that she was growing unsatisfied in our relationship and that we needed to talk. I unfortunately kept prolonging “the talk” and became slightly tuned out every time she said it. Beginning of August I noticed she started to act suspect: she seemed to pay more attention to sending text messages on her smart phone than being in my company. So, I naturally had a hunch something was wrong, so I checked her work email and noticed she made reservations at hotel to be with some random guy, the weekend I was going out of town visit college friends in LasVegas. To make a long painful story short, I confronted her about it over the phone while she was at work, she became shell-shocked that I found out and started crying. We hang up and she eventually came home from work. The first thing she said was we should break up… and that I should‘ve talked to her but now it‘s too late we have to break up. I’m begging and pleading for her to get her to change her mind, and that we should talk now, but she insisted we should break up. The next day I go to work, come back home and she’s gone. I call her and she said we shouldn’t be around each other anymore and one of us needs to move out. Now I’m in further disbelief and shock. What follows after that is even more painful drama, trauma rather, and would take another 500 words or so to explain but I‘ll save the detail--it’s bad.. In short, she’s been at a friends house for the past 3 weeks looking for a place and blocked my number from her cell phone, it turns out this random guy is an old high school friend and they are in a intimate partnership. She even hinted that they are talking about marriage. Meanwhile I’ve been alone in our old apartment reminiscing, broken-hearted but refusing to let go, looking at old pictures and her belongings, under an unbearable amount of sorrow, loss of appetite and motivation, deteriorating self-esteem and ego. I’ve been reading passages from Psalms to make it through the day. My life feels like it’s over.
Tags: 1
okay so i've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. well ex-boyfriend now. we have a baby girl together, she is about to be ten months. okay so we don't live together & i had thrown away a whole bunch of baby bottles. & i only had 2 i lost one & the other one was in my moms truck & she wasnt home. so i called my bf to go buy me a bottle because of what happened so he said "i dont have a ride & my mom isn't here she has my money" & i clicked & called him ack a whole bunch of times but he wouldnt answer so i called his cousin asking for my bfs mothers cell # he said he didnt have it & i was like hes acting like a little bitch whenever he needs a ride he gets it whenever he needs money he gets it. so i told my bf i dont want you near me or my baby. we dont need you so i called my friend & asked him to get me a bottle from safeway & he did ut before that my bf calls me and says you dont want me to take the bottle i said no its fine & he says fuck you bitch fuck you nigga & more stuff so i just hang up. & he keeps sending me texts so i told him i need space & he has to show me he wants us & show me he didnt mean it & he has to try hard if not im so gone!
This happened like a week ago..
i am 16
My boyfriend though was of my same age had failed and so i was labelled as a senior...
he liked me.. and later things went on and we felt in love with each other...
he was possessive about me an over possessive one..
He had problem with everything i did.. He didnt like it when i talked to guys..
things were smooth when suddenly one day his parents decided to send him to india for his further studies...we thought we could cope up...he went...he'd cried before he left...
things were fine...
he used to mail me once in a blue because his scool was a strict one...
and then it happened.. they had their first weekend after 50 days...
3 days of being free and i thought he would call me and we would have a nice time ..
but then later found out that his dad had been there and they were persuading him to break up with me... for once i and his mother had met and i dont know how.. some people said stuffs like she's not a nice girl she has links with soo many boys to his parents...
he called me up told me none of his family members like me.. and his father wanted him to change his password...
laster he did change his password i felt bad,,,
the last day before he could return to his hostel.. we both talked online...
and we were okay.. suddenly he just stood up away from the cam and i could just hear his voice in the phone"bitch all you know is how to be horny you think i wanna see your face ever again.. you'll soon be a graduate and i just a pass-out we have no future "
how could he do that to me... when i am soo in love with him just because his parents wanted him to...
we've had sex for about eight times and when i asked him about that he was like people will call u a cheap girl if they find out where did we had sex...
how could he??
will he come back??
i want him to come back...
i have this hope in within that he still loves me and is doing this just under his parents' pressure what do i do ????
Tags: Parent Interference
Sometimes when you try too hard, you end up destroying everything.
Early last month, I had traveled to Germany to visit my girlfriend that had just completed a semester studying abroad in China. Her family has a home in Germany, and I was invited to fly over and have my long-awaited reunion with her. While my heart was joyful to have her in my arms again, I was about to face unprecedented circumstances ultimately leading to our relationship's demise.
For the first four days in Germany, the food was completely not agreeing with my stomach, causing much discomfort. Instead of complaining about her mother's cooking, I tried my best to eat what I could and be respectful. If the ordeal ended there, it would have been no big deal. Then Sunday's emergency hit.
Her family and I traveled by bike to a neighboring village to watch a parade. Unknowingly, I experienced the most emasculating injury possible while in route. Thirty minutes into the parade, I started to experience pain in my "manhood area." After excusing myself from the group, I went into a local bar, ordered a drink and went to the bathroom to find an unprecedented swelling of one of my testicles. (Thank God for anonymity, because naturally this is a truly embarrassing moment.) After this discovery, I exited the bathroom, quickly consumed my drink and swiftly exited back to the street. I told my girlfriend I immediately needed to get to the hospital, and word started to spread among the family. Without any option for a taxi or ambulance, we were forced to ride by bicycle to the hospital. Upon arrival, I was laid out in an examination room with my girlfriend and her mother standing at the end of the table, with my full injury on display. This was necessary, as I do not speak German and needed translation. I was diagnosed with Testicular Torsion and required immediate surgery. The procedure was a success, and I departed the hospital the following day to return to the family's house.
Back in their house, I was laid out in pain, recovering from my procedure. During this time, the whole family was working on renovating the bottom floor of the house. I felt guilty that I could not assist in their efforts, and isolated myself in discomfort. After 4 days being distant in their home, I was able to get on a flight back to America to see my English-speaking Doctor. My girlfriend would stay behind with the intention of traveling back the following week. We were on the verge of having a normal relationship, once again, after being separated for 5 months.
Then I inadvertently screwed up with her parents. The day following my arrival back to America, I wrote her parents an email attempting to explain my bad behavior during my stay in Germany. I thanked them for their hospitality, and humbled myself to any criticism they may have possessed. This letter was taken as an attack, and I received a reply 3 days later criticizing me for being snide and lacking self-confidence. They trivialized my relationship with their daughter and made the determination that I was not good enough to be with her. Thirty minutes later, and just one week after my medical emergency, my girlfriend broke up with me over Skype.
Instead of traveling back to America, she has stayed in Germany for another two weeks. She has only listened to her parents about their limited view of my conduct. She will not talk to me and will not stand up for the love we genuinely found together.
She returns to America tomorrow, from my understanding. I'm not going to harass her, but I'm truly devastated to have lost her. Hopefully her friends will help her form her own opinion of things.
If you've read this far, thank you. I felt compelled to write the whole background as I'm so very confused by these circumstances. There is no take-away lesson from this experience, and that almost makes it harder to recover from and rationalize.
Tags: Escape from Hell
I was in a relationship for the last two years. People will wonder how i managed to stay with someone stupid for such a long time. The person whom i loved used to call me names all the time and those words were so uncultured that i initially beg him to stop saying them. he won't and finally in an effort to get myself out of that pain, i used to bang my head on the wall and then he will scream " die you wretched bitch!" Once i took a whole strip of pills in an attempt to kill myself but that was a failure. He never used to give me any freedom. All the twenty-four hours of my life was for him. I can't watch a movie that i like, i can't talk to my mother or my brother, and i can't even go out with my friends. And the most important thing is that i can't even look at other boys. And the funny part is that he used to have a lot of girlfriends who used to visit his home and with whom he used to spend days together. Everything was forbidden just for me. And he won't let me do a job. Twice i got decent jobs but he will call me names all the way to my work place and he wanted me to take off on all the days that he liked. I had to leave both those jobs because of him. But it was okay if he is capable of getting a good income. that he was not! He never used to go for any jobs and he won't attend interviews saying that they will be tough! And to make things worse he has a brother who is handicapped and he wants me to look after him and his old father sitting at home. He never wanted me to be independent. At that point, i realized what he wants is just a servant, not a wife. And many times i tried to end that relationship but he will convince me to continue it and then again will start torturing me. Yesterday was the day when i took the final decision. I found out that i never can spoil my whole life for the sake of a stupid and incompetent person like this. So i finally said that "No". And of course he has threatened me that he is going to publish all the photos we had together everywhere and my mother and i are going to fall on his feet. And i also suspect myself to be pregnant. But come what may, I'm going to be firm on this decision and I am not going to spoil the rest of my life because of him.
Tags: marriage break up
Well i got married in 2007 and the first month was fine then my husbands mother calls and says she is gonna lose her place and well he goes running(such a mamas boy)he quits a dang good paying job and goes running home ta mama and well of course i went with him and well we get there and he let her run our marriage and run all over me treating me like cinderella and later he starts callin from work askin his mama if he can go out with some friends can you believe that he asked her and not me he let me there alone and my mother-in-law run all over me and he did not care well i put up with it till later when he started comin home drunk demanding sex and gettin abusive bic he had turned into a bad drug addict and was liein ta me about it well i go home after 3 months of torture and 3 days later he calls and says when ya commin home and i said i am home till ya start treatin me like a wife and stop runnin ta ya momma for everything and also i am not commin back till you stop yer drinkin and drugs and he said look i am who i am and if ya can not except that then it is over and i said well then i guess it is over and he said you bet it is and he hung up.and that is how we broke up.
Tags: Love? Lust? Lonely?
Well me and this girl were dating for 6 months...She was my first love, I can still honestly say I never met anyone like her...She is really something, Which makes her so special..But sadly I am not the only one who notices those traits. I was in love, We would talk for hours on the phone I would write poems and say the most romantic things I could think of. Things were almost perfect the only problem was that we couldn't see each other as often as we liked. I hated it, and when she told her mother that we were dating....She didn't approve. I was younger and in her book....That's bad. One night she calls me crying her eyes out that she needs time alone ( Her and her mom got in a fist fight and got a black eye out of it ) She said she needs to deal with her problems and needs to break up with me. I was crushed....But I understood and said I would wait for her.
After the break up there were rumors going about that she was cheating on me and that was the real reason she broke up with me....This was coming from my closest friends and there would be no reason for them to lie to me. I believed them. ( Very Bad Choice ). I told her that I don't want to speak to her and to not talk to me, think of me or anything. I hated myself for what I did to her. Days later I called her and she made it clear that the rumors were started by her ex-boyfriend who just wanted to piss her off. It sadly worked and got me into deep trouble. (Oh by the way the day I told her...was on her birthday...yeah..I know..)
I felt like such an idiot. For weeks I tried to do everything in my power for her to forgive me. A few times she said that she doesn't feel the same way anymore for what has happened. (I don't blame her). After a while we start getting the spark back and begin to show feeling again. I still wanted her ever so much and I was waited for the right moment to ask her out again, It was Christmas time and I had a necklace in a box and underneath that box was a letter and a ring, asking her to be mine once more.
I call her to let her know I'm coming over, She starts acting strange and I ask her whats wrong. She tells me that she's not sure If she wants to be with me, "I didn't do anything wrong did I?" I ask her and she say no...But If she really did love me she wouldn't care what her Mom says.
Scared and worried that Ive lost my only chance to have her back I go over the following day with the present and flowers. I get there and she refuses to take the gifts. For fear that she doesn't feel anything for me anymore. We have a long talk and she concludes that the only reason that she wanted me was to pretty much F.... ME!. I refused to believe that fact I doubt that every "I Love You" she ever said to me was to have me in bed... After a long talk I ask her to look at me In the eye and tell me..."You Don't Love Me" she hesitates and finally says it. "I Don't Love You" ...I had nothing left to say...I give her my present and leave.
Weeks pass by and she calls me to say "Sorry, she only said those things because she doesn't want to get attached to me, and doesn't want a boyfriend." I forgive her and say that she could have just said that in the beginning. After a week I notice...Shes flirting with other guys and I see it kind of odd.
I confront her about It and ask If shes ever lied to me...She says that shes not with anyone ...BUT she is starting to like another guy. She starts to cry and tells me that shes truly sorry. I love this girl and there is nothing I can't forgive her for. and so I forgave her and let her know how special she really is to me. The following day, Merely hours before me and her finally get into a good start. The guy she likes starts calling her his girlfriend, and saying how much she means to him.
I didn't know what else to do...I confronted her about it for the last time and she says that she didn't know anything about him calling her his girlfriend. But she is kind of happy that he does indeed call her his girlfriend. The last thing I tell her..Is "I love you...Take Care"
I hope shes okay.
Well his parents hated me. Whenever we were with them they would make little comments. Mostly it was his mother, but you could just feel the hatred. I really think this was an unfounded hatred. In the past he never really paid too much attention to what she's had to say, but after this last trip i watch her pull him over and start talking about us. she gave me one of those glares as she he started to talk. It wasn't more than a week later that He ended up breaking up with me. He never would give me an answer to what she said. I have no idea what she could have said. I never cheated on him, or anything. We fought every once in a while, but nothing even close to a blowout fight. I mean if he was that big of a mama's boy, thank god i got out now! How's that for a breakup story! Ball less bastard
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