Searching for "pain"

116 Results For 'pain'

Dammie

February 26, 2017 @ (Ec)

Me and my ex , we met 5 years ago we were so in love , was the first time in my life I had boyfriend ( I was 22 y.o ) he treated me like no other ever... I was facing depression and he took me out of it ... after almost 2 years , he texted me saying he was getting enough of me and that he didn't loved me anymore wasn't the first time ,I did begged him before not to leave me anyways he did I was in a terrible depression for over 3 months I didn't almost left my house or my room I cried all the time he then texted me saying he wanted to remain friends I said yes because I still had feelings for him , he sometimes talked about a girl saying was like hypothetical situation . A month later I found out he was dating ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS , i couldn't believe it everything made sense then she never apologized he didn't told me into my face either , cried and yelled to him the pain I was experiencing became unbelievable, after a month he texted me again saying sorry and all and that he was having a really bad time with his family and needed me , at first I sent him to hell but because I'm so stupid I kept contact and tried to help him out 4 months later he was having issues with his current gf ( my ex friend) and turned still to me saying that he understood now who really loved him , to make it short we came back together I forgave him but things weren't that great since I was all the time afraid that he might cheat again he was patient but sometimes he wouldn't pick the phone and it rang as occupied very late at night . He would go freaking mad if i would quise took him about it ,he kept saying I was being crazy that he was sleeping as always I apologized all the time we went on a wonderful trip to Asia and was wonderful , after that I made some decisions of my career that he didn't liked much but accepted , he travelled a lot because of his job , I even fought him looking for prostitutes when he was in Vietnam , to which he said I was being mental because he didn't do anything and I was going through his privacy , i always caught him trying to talk to other woman and was exhausting ,he cried and everything so I decided to believe him always , so I gave up and became that kind of woman that he could yell at and say I was stupid , that kind of woman that couldn't be angry because he didn't replied in 7 hours but he could be mad at me for not doing it in 10 minutes , I was being called stupid ,asshole etc etc every time I tried to ask about something .... one day we fought so badly that we didn't talked for 1day , I felt the end coming and felt pity for myself I loved him so much but I cried every single day and couldn't do anything in any other aspect of my life , I texted him finally being so afraid telling him that he could decide our future since he last words to me were "I want to break up with you so many fucking times but I don't say it" I told him I would do what he decides ,fight one more time or end ... he asked me time to think , 2 days later or silent I asked him ,he said was hard that he loved me but he made me cry and sometimes he didn't even felt bad about it ... anyways he broke up and broke my heart for second time...
Now one month later , i get to know that he is talking to another girl , younger prettier... and even I was doing okay and slowly not crying for him . I went back to the pain of the first time we broke up , that pain in your chest that won't go , the feeling of the tears going down your face without you even noticing, because I still love him and miss him like I did almost 5 years ago

EponaSaysHai

February 22, 2017 @ (Covina, CA)

Tags: Worst break up ever

I fell in love with my best friend. He was a sweet and kind boy that loved to help people. And he loved me back. I knew he did because he treated me like I was special. He said things that no one who saw you as just a friend would say. 4 months of magical romance that everyone saw but we didn't want to admit was there. Finally one day we told each other how we felt and all our friends were so happy for us. I had never been happier in my life. We loved each other. At first it was cute puppy love, I guess you could say, but when my growing depression finally got ahead of me, we found out how much we truly loved each other. He cared for me unlike anyone I've known. The puppy love became a romance and passion that we had building up inside of us for months. We were completely in love with each other even if we both hated ourselves. We were each other's reasons for living. And I can't tell you how many times we were so close to giving up but saved each other. I'll never forget that day I wanted to kill myself and he told me that he loved me and I meant everything to him. That I changed his life for the better. That summer, 3 months after we first confessed to each other, was depressing because we missed each other dearly. School was the only time we got to see each other. Then one day I got my phone taken away. The only way I could contact him was through text. For 2 weeks I sometimes secretly went in my phone to text him. It was brief but those moments were everything to me. Then... 5 days after our 5 month anniversary, I got my phone back. I texted him happily and he replied. But he was depressed. I asked him why and he refused to tell me. I hadn't talked to him in 3 days at the time so anything could've happened. I finally got him to tell me what was wrong and he said.... "I think I'm gay..." I was in shock. And when he said he liked me as a friend, I wanted to throw my phone and just kill myself. I struggled to stay calm for his sake. If I showed how much it hurt, he would regret telling me even more. I told him I needed to be alone. I was in public, totally unprepared for any tragic news. But slowly as reality sunk in, I couldn't hold back against the tears that threatened to pour. I excused myself to the restroom where I cried so hard I couldn't breathe because I tried to stay quiet. I didn't feel anything but pain and sadness. For the next few weeks, he begged me to move on. He was extremely sad and was angry at himself for breaking my heart. He even said he wish had never said anything at all. But I would've found out one day. He wouldn't love me anymore and I would be able to tell. School started and we were friends who pretended we were fine. No one asked about our relationship. Only one person did but we ignored them. It's funny. A lot of people keep asking us if we are dating. No one asked when we actually were. He isn't the same anymore. He isn't positive anymore. He shuts down when he's sad and only talks to his therapist. He used to talk to me. I dont know what we are at the moment. Sometimes I see my boyfriend again in the way he looks at me. Sometimes I see my best friend. But sometimes I see my ex boyfriend, the broken shell of the person I once knew and loved. I still love him to this day.

If you ever hear about a break up where the boyfriend finds out he's gay and the girlfriend is sad, don't laugh. It sounds humorous, but when it becomes your reality and the thing that tears you apart everyday, you won't be laughing. In these cases, there's little to no chance of getting back together. And it hurts like hell.

Dont Wanna Say..

February 11, 2017 @ (USA)

Tags: bad break up need advice help me

my ex and i dated for about two months and we recently broke up Monday of this week (2/6/17). I experienced true love for the first time in my life. I thought of him as the most amazing person i had ever laid eyes on. Since the beginning of the relationship, we grew up a lot. We started dating when we were 15 years old. and we are now 17. I did so much for him, i paid for the majority of dates, gave him money because he would need it and i constantly prioritized him, putting him before everything. I let him come between my family and friends. He was my first, i lost my virginity to him a year ago on valentines day. he did many things that were bad in the beginning of the relationship but i managed to hang on to the relationship because he begged and pleaded for me to stay. Now i am broken. I have a 4.7 GPA , i can get into any college i want to in North Carolina, i have an amazing job making great money and a great family and an awesome bestfriend. But i can't be happy without him. I feel like i absolutely need him in my life to feel okay. I really have put my happiness on the backburner for him. For months he has been canceling plans for friends and he would sleep through our plans bc he was out super late the night before, i felt like i wasnt important and he would be really mean when i tried to talk to him about it, calling me needy and saying "why can't u just be understanding and say okay sometimes" he would yell at the top of his lungs and blame the fact that he had no nicotine and thats why he was being that way to me. He doesn't go to school anymore (so a drop out) spends every dime on his truck making me have to pay for his food and gas and dates. he never treated me right yet he broke up with me monday and blocked me on everything. i begged and pleaded for him to stay for 2 days then i went no contact on him and havent spoken since wednesday to him. i know for a fact that he loves me. i just want him back. i think i have learned a lot about myself and i have been through more pain than i can begin to describe. Will he come back to me? our connection when we were together was so strong. this boy literally has our date tattooed on his wrist and he had given me a promise ring promising me forever. help me someone please just give me advice. i need to know if you think he will come back or not. how can you spend 2 years with someone to drop them this way?

Rose

February 08, 2017 @ (INDIA)

Tags: Bad breakup

We met in college and became close due to a prank played by friends. We then became best friends in a few months. I was the first girl with whom he became really close. There were many similarities and coincidences which made us think that this was meant to be. Gradually we fell in love and confessed it. I am his first and only love till this date. We were really happy and spent our 12 days of love together dating. But then suddenly he said that he want to get out of this. There wasn't even a single valid reason he could give. I lost my best friend as well as my love without any reason. And now i am left alone sad and broken with nothing left to do. He is happy and moved on. My condition is pathetic as it already took 8 months to get over a 12 days relationship. It is strange that i still haven't moved on. It really hurts to get dumped even after doing the best you can. Losing a best friend is even more painful...

Sid

January 01, 2017 @ (india)

Tags: breakup

There was this girl who i had been best friends for 2 years and then we shared an almost two year relationship..initially it was amazing..being college kids we could go out a lot and quite regularly but she moved to another state and distance changed everything..the promises she made were lies perhaps...i am an introvert so i dint have friends at all and it was just her but she was different ,she had a huge friend circle..i wasnt comfortable with her flirting with other guys,i even told her somehow,she reacted sweetly and i felt so much at peace,but reality was different,when she came back and we were sitting in a park..i saw a text in her phone saying â€œlove u galâ€..tears rolled and i hated that being a guy i couldnt believe for a girl i cried and that too for this reason..i loved her like hell..however i couldnt be myself and became controlling and annoying and eventually she left meâ€¦i lost myselfâ€¦i lost control because i feel i gint get what i deservedâ€¦so many more serious bad things happen to a million people i know but still i thought she would never let go..cz i neva didâ€¦now its bn 8 months and i still secretly see her fb profile ..she seems happier..more lovely..and it aches deep downâ€¦a strange pain ..a heavibess in my chestâ€¦maybe everything happens for the best but i am still a lone introvert..she made fun of me and laughed it out with her friends and rubbrf it in my face..and i jus kept being broken...i wanted to move on but every once in w while she gave a cal and texted sayin she wants to be friends and misses me but cant be with me..i loved her but i dint kbow what to say..it jus stung thats all i felt..i still remember that horrible evening days before my exam and a month after she dumped me she cald me nd said she started dating a better guy than me and she changef coz it was me who was controlling...i wish i could shout amd scream..i couldnt ,my mother was in the next room...its bn 8 months and it sucks for me..i want to change but i feel less now .so small ..insignificant....

Kyra

December 03, 2016 @ (Uk)

Tags: #brokenheart

My name is kyra, I was with my boyfriend for year we broke up about a month ago. He was obsessed with me, I thought he would never leave and it cut me like a knife when he walked out of my life. I can't eat, l can't sleep, I have no ambition what so ever! My heart is physically broken, I don't know if I'm going to survive this. I can't imagine life without him forever or him being with someone else, it makes me physically sick!!! Getting out of bed is a struggle everyone morning, the pain is unbearable; the big whole in my heart keeps getting bigger. My life feels like it's over, l feel like I will never be happy and content again! Nothing can ever fix this l just want to end it all. I can't be here anymore, l can't do this, l can't survive this. Someone please help me!!

Patricia

October 25, 2016 @ (1311 willingham drive)

Tags: bad, upsetting

so me and him kinda was dating..rn im in pain im more depressed then before...so freshmen year i started liking him never talked to him till my 10th gr year which is rn im a 10th grader and he is a senior..so he talked to me thats how it started we got to know each other more and more and then we started with kissing each other hugging holding hands taking pictures together matching etc...he would write me these love letters i still got them although wen i reread them im always breaking down into tears...he asked me to homecoming we went we had a whole argument he was being mean and i was acting up bcus i started feeling depressed i didnt tell him bcus i didnt wanna ruin our special night but he even told me i did ruin it and i was sorry for being a bitch to him bcus of my depression.so we talked still we werent official even tho i had been wanting to b with him since last year..we had our first slow dance and my god i sung to him it was real special to me i was really happy..he made me real happy he made me feel special and i loved his personality and i started falling for him...i fell so hard that i considered him as my bf to my friends and me and him laughed and did lots together he would give me piggy ride backs and hickies and every time we met after every class and wallked each other to class and i appreciated him i gave him my devotion i gave him everything i had i did everything for him i did what i could to make him happy and i gave him all my support i motivated him to b a better person to do good in skool and b someone in life i believed in him.ppl kept telling me shit about him i didnt wanna believe them bcus i trusted him but all this time he was stabbing me on the bac and did hurtful shit to me it hurt me but i still stayed with him i stayed after he had hurt me i kept forgiving him time after time he kept fucking up and he promised he wasnt gunna fuc up and he did multiple times and i forgave him all the time..then he was telling me he loved me and shit and how he missed me and that he was loyal to me wen wasnt he was having me looking stupid out here wen i was defendin him and believing all his lies..

Delta

October 02, 2016 @ (Southern Russia )

Tags: Bad Breakup

So when I was in 10th grade I saw this girl in Engineering class and she was my first Crush ever, I thought she was perfect, She had this long beautiful hair, breathtaking smile, cute, a little bit shy, challenging, caring and had some little knowledge about video gaming which was my weak spot. This was also my first love, I tried to flirt with her but I was a very insecure person at that time, I was pretty much obese (115 KG,253 lbs) and I was the probably the ugliest guy in the class :(, my flirting skills were a disaster and she eventually had a boyfriend from another class, they were together for 4 months and after that they broke up.
I dreamt about this girl for a whole year and I told myself that in 11th grade I will make something out of myself and I will GET HER.
Starting from February 2016 and till July 2016 I lost 37 KG (that's 81 pounds) and went from 115 to 78 KG (253 lbs to 171 lbs), I lost weight for my own private reasons but one of the main one was for my crush. The WHOLE SCHOOL was in complete shock of my body transformation (I'm talking about teachers, students, janitors, community workers, cooks, friends) and I was voted student of the year in my school, I've never felt this much happiness in a long time, I've felt completely on top of the world, my confidence rose up and I felt that I needed to flirt with my crush, but that failed too.
Eventually I found a job in my school and I worked there as a painter (I painted the walls, classrooms and etc... for the school year) to pay truck driving license. And then one day my CRUSH showed up in the school and literally started talking to me straight away, I was really busy with my work and I told her if she can hold on just for a few minutes but she ignored me and we started talking, the conversation went deep in a matter of minutes, I though to myself ''SO FAR SO GOOD'' and we literally spent the next 2 months (June and July) talking to each other on the phone ever SINGLE day. one day when I felt the right time to quit my job, I told her that I wanted to hang out with her (was my first time talking to a girl over whatsupp) and we've set the meeting in my city.
During August we hanged out every day and we felt closer and closer with each meeting. During the beginning of 12th grade (the final senior year) I told her that I loved her over the phone and she said she loves me too. It was the most magical moment that I've heard over the phone. The next morning we went to quiet place in my school yard near the teachers parking lot and we kissed, it was my first kiss EVER and especially with my crush, it was such a special moment in my life and I will never forget it, I've felt completely happy. We were the most popular couple in my school apparently because people had known me for being a single guy for my whole life.
After a week and 4 days my nightmares became to reality, we broke up.
I wasn't depressed but I felt sad as fuck man, we had a fight the night before and its just a long story, things weren't going great for us, so we decided to break up.
I was very sad with myself, and I was being told that time heals everything, and I shouldn't be upset because we were barely together for a month,but it doesn't matter if the relationship lasted for a week, I've felt heartbroken and pretty sad with myself.
She on the other hand felt completely good after the break up and told me that she had 2 boyfriends before me and she is going to chase for another one and I need to do the same, find the one, she told me that I will fine the love of my life but to never give up, even in my darkest moments of my life.
I will never forget these words that she said to me the day after our break up. But the awesome memories we had together still taunt me till this very minute. And the worst thing is, I pretty much regret the decision to leave her.
I've came to the point that not anything that shines has to be golden.
I feel very disappointed because I've wasted so many energy over her for the past 2 years.
But I need to look at the bright sight, this short relationship taught me that to make sure I will never do any mistakes in my next serious relationship, life is one hell of a tough journey, and we need to keep going, keep looking forward and never give up.

Madhavi-ald

June 20, 2016 @ (india)

Tags: bad breakup

1 year from now i met a girl. I am a singer so was just performing in a college event. A girl was staring at me after my performance(in which i won).She was just sitting on a row ahead of me and she was continously staring ... i have been in 15 relationships so have a gud experience of what was it going to be. She searched my name as we din't had anything in comman. She message me on fb . And very next day she asked me to come for a walk in campus late in night. We had a good talk and she messaged me that night that she has a boyfriend.. i was like who cares. Next night she called me for a walk and that night THINGS happened and we were close . I always tried to stay emotionally away from her because she was in relation for two years that too non problematic relationship. After that we met almost daily for 4 months she was in relationship with a guy who was earlier in college was a senior so was working in a company in different city so for those 4 months whenever she met she used to say sweet things and show her affection n then she left her boyfriend. I asked her to not to leave him because i had stuff to do so cannot give her that much of time. but she broke up with him. I was also kindof liking her i was a plyboy but i started liking her because once she went to meet her boyfriend then i was not feeling good about it. But she then left her boyfriend came to me.. She always knew about experiences of girls i had so so used to say that i cannot be serious for a single girl. But sometimes being human when she flirted with someone else i used to feel bad about it and i said her. I too had many option of girls which she knew already but i began falling for her. I am a focussed man so was doing the stuff that i was supposed to do in my career so could not give her that much of time but i always tried to give her as much of time as possible . So i started falling for her even more.. i started actually loving her.. i had to go through many things in life which made me a kindof heartless playboy.. i was having a good career i am a singer , guitarist, painist, composer , millionaire, boxer(upto state level) and amazing at s**(because experince matters) so as per now u might have guessed there was no scarcity for girls .. but i was falling for her.. i started expressing to her my love.. in every way possible.. bt never lost balance as generally guys do. Now one day she comes to me saying "she wants to be friend" then next day" she wants to do her work" then next day "she wants her boyfriend back" . after 9 months of all she is suddenly realizing that she loved her ex only so she wants to move with that guy. Was i just a puppet? She shows no feeling for me now.. When she was cheating with that guy for me.. when she can come physically close to me third day after we met after a relation of 2 years then she can cheat me too.. Bitches will be bitches.. lesson learnt never trust a beaultiful face .. if she is a liar .. she will take use of u till she wants and then just hire a new boyfriend to fuck her.. NEVER TRUST LIARS.. if she can lie to him she can lie to me too.. i missed that point.

Henrietta

March 22, 2016 @ (China)

Tags: painfullbreakupandstilllonging

We were together for months. He loved me deeply. For me? I love him so much and three months later after he broke up with me I am still in so much agony. It was a long distance relationship. I was going to come after a year since I am still in college. I was just asking for one year. Not ten years, not twenty three, not even three. Just one year. But somehow he kinda lost his grip. Until now, I really do not know why we just all of a sudden fell apart. And I could not understand why we cannot fight for us. He said he has his own life now and he can no longer run this marathon with me. Was I depending too much on him for emotional support because of depression from my family problems? Was I too needy or too clingy? But I promise I never complained when he was busy. I just do not know why or how he fell out of love for me. Every single day, I ask why. I wonder if he ever opens his Skype and reads my messages begging him for another chance. Now, I am about to graduate but I have no direction since the man at the end of the tunnel, well he is no longer there to keep his promise. I am just totally lost and miserable. But I am not mad. I do not resent him either. I am grateful for everything. I just want to be his girl and I would give my all. (Sorry for any typos.)