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NeedsHelp

September 12, 2010 @ (WestCoast)

Tags: Tags

My girlfriend of 9 years broke up with me to be with an old high school friend. The sad part is that I have a feeling that they will eventually get married within the next year or so. I’m absolutely crushed like never before. We’ve had our share of problems throughout our relationship and unfortunately it’s mostly my fault. I feel so stupid for taking her for granted.

We met in college back in 2001 and it started out as the most beautiful thing in this world that either of experienced. We were soul mates and were certain that we’d be together forever. It was like we were two peas in a pod, amongst a campus full of strangers and were very happy we found one another. It didn’t take us but 6 months to move in together we were so in love. However, after graduating college, I struggled for years, and was depressed even, to find a job. She supported us for most of our relationship as she was blessed with a wonderful career as an exceptional community organizer, which she now serves as the executive director of her organization. Me on the other hand, struggled immensely to find my passion, and had several dead end low paying jobs.. This was emotionally hard on me, and most certainly on her. However, we would make the best of our situation by taking various trips around the country and enjoying the natural bond we had for one another. We didn’t have to take trips really we enjoyed staying home together, whether we were intimately conversing about any topic or making passionate love. However, my career struggles took a severe toll on our relationship. I even went through a period of alcohol abuse, which lasted a couple of years. Eventually, after 4 great years she began to loose interest in me, and cheated on me a few times. Although I was obviously crushed, I took her back because I loved her so so much and believed we could work through anything, plus I always envisioned her as the mother of my kids. Fast forward to January 2008, I eventually found a job which pays great and I absolutely love-- finally I’m able to support us and feel good about myself in that regard. We celebrated the entire 2008 in the name of my success and life seemed golden--finally my career struggle was over! Unfortunately I started to drink again and lied several times about it and thus undermining any trust left. At that time, she started to give me warnings that I had to stop or else she’d leave. Fortunately I finally stopped, but we would still argue. She also began to voice, starting in mid-June of this year, that she was growing unsatisfied in our relationship and that we needed to talk. I unfortunately kept prolonging “the talk” and became slightly tuned out every time she said it. Beginning of August I noticed she started to act suspect: she seemed to pay more attention to sending text messages on her smart phone than being in my company. So, I naturally had a hunch something was wrong, so I checked her work email and noticed she made reservations at hotel to be with some random guy, the weekend I was going out of town visit college friends in LasVegas. To make a long painful story short, I confronted her about it over the phone while she was at work, she became shell-shocked that I found out and started crying. We hang up and she eventually came home from work. The first thing she said was we should break up… and that I should‘ve talked to her but now it‘s too late we have to break up. I’m begging and pleading for her to get her to change her mind, and that we should talk now, but she insisted we should break up. The next day I go to work, come back home and she’s gone. I call her and she said we shouldn’t be around each other anymore and one of us needs to move out. Now I’m in further disbelief and shock. What follows after that is even more painful drama, trauma rather, and would take another 500 words or so to explain but I‘ll save the detail--it’s bad.. In short, she’s been at a friends house for the past 3 weeks looking for a place and blocked my number from her cell phone, it turns out this random guy is an old high school friend and they are in a intimate partnership. She even hinted that they are talking about marriage. Meanwhile I’ve been alone in our old apartment reminiscing, broken-hearted but refusing to let go, looking at old pictures and her belongings, under an unbearable amount of sorrow, loss of appetite and motivation, deteriorating self-esteem and ego. I’ve been reading passages from Psalms to make it through the day. My life feels like it’s over.

Alex

August 03, 2010 @ (Atlanta, GA)

Tags: Parent Interference

Sometimes when you try too hard, you end up destroying everything.

Early last month, I had traveled to Germany to visit my girlfriend that had just completed a semester studying abroad in China. Her family has a home in Germany, and I was invited to fly over and have my long-awaited reunion with her. While my heart was joyful to have her in my arms again, I was about to face unprecedented circumstances ultimately leading to our relationship's demise.

For the first four days in Germany, the food was completely not agreeing with my stomach, causing much discomfort. Instead of complaining about her mother's cooking, I tried my best to eat what I could and be respectful. If the ordeal ended there, it would have been no big deal. Then Sunday's emergency hit.

Her family and I traveled by bike to a neighboring village to watch a parade. Unknowingly, I experienced the most emasculating injury possible while in route. Thirty minutes into the parade, I started to experience pain in my "manhood area." After excusing myself from the group, I went into a local bar, ordered a drink and went to the bathroom to find an unprecedented swelling of one of my testicles. (Thank God for anonymity, because naturally this is a truly embarrassing moment.) After this discovery, I exited the bathroom, quickly consumed my drink and swiftly exited back to the street. I told my girlfriend I immediately needed to get to the hospital, and word started to spread among the family. Without any option for a taxi or ambulance, we were forced to ride by bicycle to the hospital. Upon arrival, I was laid out in an examination room with my girlfriend and her mother standing at the end of the table, with my full injury on display. This was necessary, as I do not speak German and needed translation. I was diagnosed with Testicular Torsion and required immediate surgery. The procedure was a success, and I departed the hospital the following day to return to the family's house.

Back in their house, I was laid out in pain, recovering from my procedure. During this time, the whole family was working on renovating the bottom floor of the house. I felt guilty that I could not assist in their efforts, and isolated myself in discomfort. After 4 days being distant in their home, I was able to get on a flight back to America to see my English-speaking Doctor. My girlfriend would stay behind with the intention of traveling back the following week. We were on the verge of having a normal relationship, once again, after being separated for 5 months.

Then I inadvertently screwed up with her parents. The day following my arrival back to America, I wrote her parents an email attempting to explain my bad behavior during my stay in Germany. I thanked them for their hospitality, and humbled myself to any criticism they may have possessed. This letter was taken as an attack, and I received a reply 3 days later criticizing me for being snide and lacking self-confidence. They trivialized my relationship with their daughter and made the determination that I was not good enough to be with her. Thirty minutes later, and just one week after my medical emergency, my girlfriend broke up with me over Skype.

Instead of traveling back to America, she has stayed in Germany for another two weeks. She has only listened to her parents about their limited view of my conduct. She will not talk to me and will not stand up for the love we genuinely found together.

She returns to America tomorrow, from my understanding. I'm not going to harass her, but I'm truly devastated to have lost her. Hopefully her friends will help her form her own opinion of things.

If you've read this far, thank you. I felt compelled to write the whole background as I'm so very confused by these circumstances. There is no take-away lesson from this experience, and that almost makes it harder to recover from and rationalize.

John L.

July 20, 2010 @ (Orlando)

Tags: 8 year dream

I was with a girl for 7.5 months. When we first met she told me that she was going to try and get back together with her ex.8 years earlier I had begged God to show me the girl I was to marry. I had seen this girl and her dad for 8 years in my dreams and had been looking every day. 2 days before my 23 b-day,I took her out to dinner and it was my first date.We ended up hanging out more and more. FOund out later she was with a guy I knew and was having sex. I am a true Christian and wanted to show her that sex wasn't how you loved someone it was just being with the that mattered most. Her ex had messed up her head. I got drunk for the first time forher and apparently I woke up next morning with no clothes on. I lost my virginity.To me it was the most sacred thing I wanted to give my wife to say this is all that I am and I am giving it to you. We ended up doing it a lot and I thought she would stay with me. She was talking with her ex the whole time and I hated that but was trying to show I cared. He came back 4 two weeks and she had sex with him. I had just given her a 200 dollar pair of earrings saying the night before don't forget about me. She came back and we were together for a few months then she started working at a place full of guys then the there was no contact with her. I was like what the crap. She didnt tell me anything. I had nightmares of me being in the room while she was having sex with a guy I had never seen. Later found out she was seeing a guy from work. And that she had finally broken up with her ex.
I said is there any way that we could start over since she now had a clear head. No. She never once loved me or had feelings for me. They were all transferred from her ex to me. Sorry.
In the end I gave my virginity so she wouldn't go to another guy who would use her for sex,gave her my heart, mind, body and soul. I waited 8 years for this girl and she took everything and said it meant nothing. Now I am afraid to even ask a girl out because I believed in her. One time after sex she was like what is your favorite part. aka on her body. I pointed to her heart. I never wanted sex. I kept telling her it was just holding her hand, being in her arms, and looking into her eyes that made me forget everything. Now I fear she is destroying her future. All I can do is pray

Emma

July 01, 2010 @ (arizona)

Tags: example1

My boyfriend and I had been together 9 months. We'd known each other and been really in love for almost 2 years. I gave him absolutely all of me. We really were great together and always had fun and showed each other how much we were in love. He always told me how he wanted to marry me and how much he loved me. Everything was going great until one week he had phone issues. He never tried to contact me in any way. When he did get his phone back, he still didn't at least text me and say he'd call me later or anything. So after going from speaking everyday or just getting an "i love you" text from him, which was always enough for me and made me feel so amazing, he went to zero communication. Who wouldn't "freak out"? I tried contacting him and got nothing. Anyway, I went to see what was going on and he told me he wanted a break and started naming off all these silly previous fights that he had already apologized for and I had forgiven and moved on. He said how I ask too much of him, which he lives 2 hours away, and he had always been able to find time to call me or just text me each day, and if a day or two went by, I was okay with that because I do know how busy he really is. Anyway, after saying all that I had finally agreed to a break. I asked if he wanted to break up and he said no, just a break for a few weeks because he didn't have time for this.
A month has gone by and I had tried to contact him out of desperation for answers the first two weeks. I have not tried to contact him for the past 2 weeks and I will not. I sent him a pour my heart out, this is what really happened with all the silly fights, and do you really love me if you're throwing away what we had...and still heard no word.
It's the most painful thing in the world to go from "i love you I want to marry you baby" to not acknowledging my existence. We are both 21, so yes I know we're young, but he had been so genuine and he doesn't sugar coat anything, so I know if he didn't love me, he would have just said so...
I've been suffering from panic attacks my whole life, but had not had an issue with them again until all of this happened. It feels as if my world crashed down. I live alone, I'm in a new state where all I have is a job so this makes things even more difficult. I do have hobbies, but cannot pursue riding horses at this time because I live in an apartment and can't afford to board a horse in town.
I wake up every morning thinking about every good and horrible thing we've gone through. After what he's done to me, I hate him, but I love him at the same time. My heart races, my stomach turns, I feel nauseous all day long and cannot eat like I used to.
I tried not making him my whole life, but I guess I felt what we had was so real, I never had to worry about him not being there. This all makes me sound pathetic, I know it does and I hate feeling this weak.
How can you love someone so much one day, and want nothing to do with them the next? And no, nothing changed. He changed. I know there isn't anotherr girl because his roommate wants to date me and I'm sure to get me to date him, he would tell me if there was another girl.
So now what? How can I get over this? I've bought books about breakups that have helped me on the whole outlook of this about how if we were so perfect, this wouldn't have happened.
But still...
anyone have any words of advice or encouragement? Anything would help. Sorry this was so long.

Kerri

June 10, 2010 @ (Florida)

Tags: Vacation

I booked our trip to Mexico last week. We have been together for 4 years. 2 days ago he tells me he met someone else and is leaving. He packs his shit and on his way out the door throws the trip information on the desk and then proceeds to tell me that I need to refund his money in full by the end of the month. Anyone interested in a vacation?

Alex

May 05, 2010 @ (Bucharest)

Tags: chase, funny

We had a two and a half year relationship..Lot of fighting going on...
A couple of days b4 Valentine's day he tells me he is going for a trip to another town in Romania, to some friend of his, but I shouldn't call him there, because he wants to give RESET to our relationship and we would start afresh when he is back.
The day before Valentine's he dumps me on messenger!
His reason, I am tragic, jealous and crazy..And, poor thing, he can't go on anymore.

Couple of weeks later, coincidence!, I see him on the streets with a new girl, holding hands, acting all in love, taking picture and stuff..
I was on the other part of a big boulevard.
Curiosity seizes me, i wanted to confront it, or, truth be told, to see what she was like. So I trY crossing that busy boulevard, cars honking, the whole gamut...
But surprise, surprise, they spot me!!
For a second they stop and laugh pointing a finger at me(well at least that's how I remember it) and THEN the coward starts running dragging the poor girl along.
I run too, they run faster, they hide beyond a barrack, i lose sight.

Lol, that was pretty traumatic at the moment, but at least i can laugh about it now..
whereas for my ex, he did me a world of good for leaving:P

Lexi

March 16, 2010 @ (Tacoma, WA)

Tags: Me, , Jerk

Was dating this guy for a few months.. he kept doing some shady BS and I was tired of putting up with it. So I decided last week to finally end things... We talked about it a couple times actually, but on wednesday it was official. Now begins the text messages...
Me: No. I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry..
Jerk: okay. I had gf whole time. I knew you were a fling
Me: Did you really have a gf the whole time?
Jerk: It's over. No need to talk. bye
Jerk: Deleting your number. Outta sight outta mind
Jerk: u can't hurt me anymore
Jerk: one day you love me, next you can't do it anymore.. first time thats happened
Jerk: you'll never know.. cuz we done. cuz u are unrealistic.. and its spring time.. aka playa season. i only date during the winter
Jerk: You were fun... thanks :)
Me: Likewise (My last message to the jerk) Wed morning
Jerk: What about one last fuck
Jerk: My last comment to u is.. a bitch is always last to get fucked. sorry it didnt work.. I almost gave up my gf for u. so glad I didnt

Ok.. those were all Wednesday morning.. then at 6:30pm he sends this...
Jerk: I miss u. i'm addicted
Then at 10pm
Jerk: Goodnight Lexi
Then the next morning he actually tried calling me. Then more text messages
Jerk: Are we not friends anymore?
Jerk: Wow. I guess I'll never hear from you again. couldn't give up girlfriend. she is hella rich. and Im going on 3 vacations Vegas Hawaii and she gave me money also towards new york. I like u. I'm sorry i couldn't give you 100% of me. u need a sugar daddy and cool dude to fuck on side. fuck a relationship. get this money
On Friday morning he tried calling again.. then more text messages
Jerk: I need to hear your voice
Jerk: can we talk
Jerk: I'm coming over to talk to you (I left for work at this time, I dont think he ever showed up)
Jerk: I can't live without you Lexi. I love you more than anything
Jerk: remember i'm the cereal, you're the milk
Jerk: you weren't a fling. u are my soulmate
Jerk: I haven't been able to eat since we broke up. I am sick... love sick
Jerk: one last talk, I need that
Then that night.. he sends me a picture message with his photo.. saying..
Jerk: miss you
Jerk: These other bitches dont do it for me. I need u

Then I heard nothing all weekend so I thought maybe he was actually going to stop contacting me. But I was wrong. Monday morning...
Jerk: without you i'm lost. talk to me
Jerk: or do i gotta show up at your work just to see you again
Jerk: this sucks. all these other girls wanna kick it, but i dont. I want my LEXI BACK!!!

It's weird how crazy someone can be once you break up.. Or at least that's when you finally realize it. I've been ignoring him since last wednesday morning. If he continues contacting me I'll post an update...

Jean

March 15, 2010 @ (Oregon)

Tags: liar

Okay-we were high school sweethearts.I met him when I was 14 and he was 15. We started dating months later. Our relationship always moved slow. But now that things ended, I realized how he has always slowly tried to pull himself away from me but because he was my first EVERTHING I always put up with alot. Well through many fights and break ups on and off we were together for 6 years.

He broke up with me a month ago. He said I was selfish, immature and spoiled. As much as it does hurt. Why should i give my WHOLE heart to someone who just stomps all over it! LIAR!

Charlie

March 21, 2010 @ (New Zealand)

Tags: sleazy, upsetting

She was my first love. We were lovers and best friends, it was amazing. We had our moments where there were spats and petty arguments, but we always got over them pretty quickly. About 6 months in we hit a rocky patch where we were constantly fighting and holding grudges longer than we were in spending time together so we called everything to a halt and "took a break" but after being apart for a week and a bit got back together. Things, although still great, were never the same. Our relationship lacked the passion and we were fading to bare friendship. By the end of our 7th month I tried to cling to the scraps of our relationship but she was slipping away and i was constantly having to call, txt and arrange when and where i'd see her. It got to the point where i knew she'd lost interest in me completely and i had nothing i could hold on to. After one of our last "arranged" dates i moved in to kiss her hello and she leaned away. I confronted her about her feelings and she turned around and said that she wanted our "infatuation" to slip into a comfy, close friendship. I agreed, i couldn't force her to feel differently about me. We avoided each other for a week when she started txting me again. I asked how she was, if she was seeing anyone and i got a few stinted replies our conversation dwindled and died. She then txted me a few hours later asking how i'd feel if she was to start seeing someone; i tried to stay nonchalant and told her it was her choice and to do what made her happy and, stupidly, asked if i'd know the person. She replied with one of our mutual acquaintance, of which, i felt a bit put out knowing a few trashy, sleazy stories about him but left it up to her. She then pushed the matter, asking how i'd take it if they were officially dating and i repeated my "whatever makes you happy" but then it struck me and i asked her how long they'd been dating. She replied that she'd hooked up with them days after we'd officially broken up. I was heartbroken. She continued to text me, then kept calling but i couldn't bring myself to answer. It's been a two years and i still refuse to fall into any relationships due to the scars shes inflicted. How long did her relationship with the sleaze last? 4 weeks.

Steven

March 17, 2010 @ (Wyoming)

Tags: example1

So, me and my girl were together for about three years and were engaged. She always wanted to eat and then go back to my place ;). She always made me laugh, she was beautiful, and i thought she was my soul mate. We were so in love. But then one night ruined it all. I find out that my girl had sexy parties without me. One of my co-workers invited me to one for his bachelor party. I was not going to do anything. Looking is not bad right? Well, i went to it and i saw my girl there in her sexy work outfit. The outfit was a belt with leather boots, fish netting stockings, and black leather one piece outfit. Anyways.. she did not even notice me until she came over to give me a lap dance i think she was about to do. Her face was priceless when she saw me! I was so pissed at first but now i think it is hilarious. Now i know why she was so good! When she saw me she started crying and saying "I am so sorry!". I grabbed her by the arm and dragged her out to the car. We got into the hugest argument i was ever in. The bitch would not stop crying the whole time and did not even look at me once. That is when we went back to her house and i spent the night ;). I could not let the outfit go to waste! And then i left her in the morning when she was sleeping! Amen brother Amen!!!