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Nicole

May 13, 2012 @ (MyHeart)

Tags: BOYFRIEND, GIRLFRIEND, STUPID, LOVE, SWEET, SAD, BEAUTIFUL, FOREVER, NEVER, HIM, HER, TOGETHER, HEART, SAD, HAPPY, CUTE, LOVE, HONEST, LIES, GUYS, GIRLS, HE, SHE, PRETTY, NEVER. NOW, CUTE. LOSER, JERK

Dear Forever, <3
You don't exist, never will you, never have you, only in the mind of someone blinded by love. Love isn't forever, If you have it you should know you are one luck person. 1 out of 1000 people find true love, I am not one of them sadly. Do I wish to be, yes I do indeed. Is it relevant you ask? Yes, completely honestly faithfully truly relevant from day one. You may say I had a typical relationship, did I think it was typical? Nope, I thought it was completely something irrelevant from that. I though he was different, you may say a lot of girls say that, but I believed it, dreamed it, thought it, loved it, carried it, and anything under the sun, blue moon, and starts, and the heaven above.. I loved him with all my heart. I'd do anything for him, yet all I could do was nothing. I started dating his cousin who I fell completely head over heels with. We only saw each other at school to be honest.. but I thought it was more than a fun, school romance. I thought I wanted him forever. Though he cheated on a girl 8 times to be exact, but more after that. I hated the girl, he cheated on me to be with her. He told us it was because we were alike, whoa there we didn't think that. I hated her, she hated me, I had the boobs, and butt, she had nothing. I was thick, she was... skinny, so skinny she has nothing. I had the cutest everything compared to him, but at the end she had him... and I was left with nothing from him but good memories from before. Did anything from before matter anymore? No. Did the fact I was better than her in body, to everything else? No. Because she had him, I wanted him, I wanted to be her, live her life, be where she is. She and I became friends, and talked all the time. We soon learned we were exactly alike nothing different. She and I, been through the same thing, going through the same thing, like the same things, almost exactly the same person. Except the fact we lived different lives, as in our on bodys. Even though we were almost completely the same person, I was still jealous of her for the longest. Because she had him? Nope, not this time. Because I thought she was better, prettier, which she was prettier. we may have almost been completely a like, but our appearance and body kept us separated. I was me, she was herself. Later, I got over him. I realized I deserve better, I need better, I want better, and better is what I will get. If she wanted to spend her life with him and get less than what she could have, need, or want, she can nobody will stop her not at all. Not me, her parents, herself, anyone. Not even him. As long as he could break her heart he was completely fine. Was she, yes because she loved him no matter what, kinda like I was. Later, I fell for someone else, that someone was him cousin. He was the same age as him, same grade, but different everything else. We never met, but we started talking June 3rd, We talked and talked, till we decided we liked each other. We had talk a lot before then, he was obsessed with the fact that he was in love with me, which if you promise not to tell, I loved that(;. I thought he wasn't. Till 06.12.11 the day we got together, we dated than 2 months later, we met. He had never kissed a girl, nor had a long relationship. I saw him that day, I was so nerves, so I paced back and forth at the mall.. I thought he'd see me and be like she's prettier on facebook... and things like I'm worthless. But of course as always he was such a sweet little cutie. <3 It was the best day. As time proceeded we didn't hang out til July 3rd Thunder Fest of course. As always it was the cutest thing. We dated til 5.5.12 Which was like a week and 2 days ago, 9 days to be exact. So, we dated for 11 months, almost. His birthday was May 11th. Of course on that day he was probably like, "It's my birthday I'll get high if I want to, can't deny that I want you, but I'll lie if I have to." - Drake lyrics. But of course he actually didn't want me. I've been thinking of him and I can't stop. It's my longest relationship, and I didn't want it to end. What do you thinks he's doing? Flirting with a new girl? Probably with a new girl? Hanging with a new girl? Doing better without me? Do you even think he thinks about me? Well, I wouldn't know. Want to know why? Because he wont talk to me. Everyday breaks my heart. I get by, by pretending no matter what day, hour, second, weather, or place he's thinking about me. He's dying inside, and I'm living under sunshine, and he's living in the dark shadowy days of breaking my heart. Sometimes I hope that whoever he is messing with now, as in flirting with.. they break his heart, but now I just hope that he's happy until "It's a beautiful day, and something reminds you, you wish you would have stayed." - Taylor Swift lyrics. And now that is the time I found out that forever only exist with a few people.
Love,
Nicole, <3

Bob David

May 03, 2012 @ (san diego)

Tags: Acceptance

We met when I was 21 and she was just turning 18, a little over 5 years ago. There was instant attraction and our relationship advanced quickly. I knew deep down that neither of us were mature enough to be in a long term committed relationship, but we stuck together anyways. There were a lot of good times, fun memories, amazing sex and we were always there for eachother through the ups and downs. About two years into the relationship there were multiple infadelities-- she started sleeping with one of my good friends behind my back and I had slept around with more than 1 girl. Despite this huge blow to our trust and relationship, we stuck together after we came clean with each other on what we had done. In hindsight I know that we stuck together because we were attached and had some form of needyness with each other. I feel weak to admit that, but I honestly just felt attached and couldn't let her go despite the fact that we had both hurt each other severely and that we deserved better. I knew in my heart at the time that I should have let her go, but my impulsive needyness forced me to hold on to a relationship that had become toxic. Since then we tried to rebuild the foundation of trust in our relationship, but we were fighting an uphill battle and there was just too much insecurity and distrust towards eachother. A year and a half ago we moved in together, which was a big mistake. Things were ok on the surface, but deep down we both felt disconnected and unhappy with the relationship. Along the way we became very short tempered and irritated with eachother. She would yell and call me names, I would yell back and say hurtful things-- stuff you just don't do when you say that you love someone. I knew in my heart for a long time it was not right and that I needed to let go, but I just didn't have the courage to part company with her. I feel ashamed for having held on to something that I knew was not right for me. We broke up about 5 weeks ago after she did not come home one night. She told me she went out to party with her friends and stayed with a female co-worker, but my intuition told me otherwise. We both agreed that we were not right together and both needed to stand on our own two feet. We were together for 5 and a half years and although I know that it was not the right relationship for me I still feel a deep sense of loss an emotional pain. Despite having hurt eachother I had considered her my best friend-- we did everything together and wanted desperately to make things work. I have been trying so hard for the last 5 weeks to look at the reality of the relationship, but my mind keeps wanting to tell me that we could have made it work or that I should have been a better man. The fact is I was immature and acted with the level of maturity and awareness that I had at the time-- I think it's fair to say that she did too. I keep beating myself up over what I could have done differently and all the what if's, but it has only held me back from letting go and moving on. I am trying so hard to accept that it's over, but still find myself hoping for reconciliation in the future-- hope that is eating me up inside. I know that we both deserve better and that it cannot work. I am not one to share my personal story on an online forum such as this, but I started reading a book the other day that suggested I post about the breakup on this website. It has been helpful typing this story up and putting things into perspective. I think it's important that I look at my past relationship logically rather than feed off of my emotions. Anyways, I know my story probably sounds crazy or like I am a bad guy for having cheated, but I would appreciate any feedback. I am now 26 and have come to so many realizations in reflecting on the relationship. I really want to better myself and become the best man that I can be not only for myself, but so that I can have a healthy, loving relationship in the future. Most importantly I want to love myself so I never put myself in a toxic relationship again where I think that I don't deserve better. Anyways, stay strong to everyone that is going through similar heart break or emotional pain. Everyone keeps telling me it will pass-- I just hope that it does sooner than later!

Veronica

April 18, 2012 @ (US)

Tags: female, emotional, slapped

I'm a bit embarrassed about this, but cut me a little slack, this happened 20+ years ago, and I was an emotional, young college girl at the time (an English Lit/Drama major no less). I had been romantically involved with this guy for about six months and it seemed to me that we just couldn’t take things to the next level and it would be in both of our interests to move on. So one day, I decided to have a heart to heart chat with him, going to great lengths to be sensitive to his feelings, and getting a little emotional in the process of saying it was time to end things. His response? Well, very casual, dry (he was an engineering major, go figure;) and hmmm, maybe even a little cheerful. He said with a smile, “yeah, you’re right, it’s probably the best thing.” Well, I was stunned by his lack of disappointment and asked if that was all he had to say. He again replied casually, “yeah, I think that’s about it.” I had invested the past six months of my life with this guy and he didnt seem to be the least bit upset that I was breaking up with him?! That was more than I could take. I stood up from the bench we were sitting on in the heart of the campus quad (imagine a diminutive Asian gal hovering over a large, strapping male), gently lifted his chin (by the look on his face, he may have been expecting a good bye kiss) and then SMACK — he got a hearty slap, right across the face. Of course I walked away in a huff, a complete, emotional wreck. Later on, I talked about it with a few of my sorority sisters and of course got hugged, consoled, etc. Then one of my sisters said something like “so wait a minute….you broke up with him and then slapped him?”. It then occurred to me how ridiculous the scenario was! Laughter ensued along with lots of good-natured teasing from my friends. The story doesn’t end there. A few days later, he sent me flowers and an apology card. I’m not sure if the poor guy even knew what he was apologizing for! ;-)

DEMI

March 23, 2012 @ (missouri)

Tags: betrayal..sex..other man

hi im new to this website...an i jus needed a place to tell my story...imma start off by saying...i jus turned 25 an i was in a 4 year relationship wit a man named jamall...the first 2 years with him was great .he proposed an life was cool until 2 months later after the engagement i caught him in a online affair wit a girl a state away ..so i broke offf the engagment ...so the next 2 years i had caught him up in many lies...until 2010 he started dj at a local club...i felt like i had to live up to his image..he was getting noticable an hott...so i felt as a dj girlfriend i should look da part an i did i bought fake ass pads...an the nicest clothes to meet his standards..well after a year doin that i became someone else i lost my idenity an started becoming someone i didnt recongize...an his actions were getting worst ..until on day in may of 2011 changed my life forever..i meet a guy who was in da army ...he was everything my boyfriend wasnt ...so by that point my boyfriend was doin his thing an he stopped showing me love an care..an attention ..so when this new guy came in my life to provide me all that i loved it...so on our first date we had sex...it was the best sex i ever had...an it jus happened ..we enjoyed it an the feeling we were feeling so we decided to see each other again an again sex sex an more sex...feelings were getting involved an we didnt care he was single i wasnt but it felt soo right ...so he had to leave for germany 3 weeks into me cheating i had fell inlove with him ..an had a man at hme..but i didnt care i was happy an myself with the army guy...so he left an i was faced with my bf back hme..it was the most miserable time ever...i continued to talk to the army guy for 6 months until he came hme again on leave in december 2011 ..we were inlove at that point an i was ready to leave my bf..an all i wanted was the army guy well...i had came across my bf had been sleeping wit a 19 yer old since november 2011 an i found out all this in february on my bday..i was floored ...he say he still loves me but he cant treat me right ...his actions are wht ran me off in the first place ...i really love the army guy an he loves me 2 we r sooo happy together ...i dnt kno if i should leave my 4 year relationship or leve my 10 month affair...please u guys help me but i love the army guy he is da one but my bf we only have time no kids no future plans no promises so ill take all the advice u can give

Jill

March 18, 2012 @ (Up the hill..)

Tags: Jill, jack, pale of water

One night my best friend and I were waiting for my parents to pick us up from a party when my phone started buzzing. When I looked down It was a guy in my grade named jack, it was really random since we hardly ever text. And at that moment, when I got that text I knew I liked him and he liked me. We started texting from early in the morning to late at night everyday, and we never ran out of things to talk about. He finally asked me out at school and we were the most adorable couple. At parties it was always just him and I hanging out being all over each other and being little kids together. He was so sweet to me. And then things started getting rocky. Suddenly he wouldn't text me as much and he would make the rudest comments to me. Then he just broke up with me. I mean it's not like I didn't have it coming because I knew we were having problems anyways. But I was still heart broken. He then started flirting with all my friends and getting super close to my best friend, the same girl in the beginning. But one night when I was missing him the most he texted me saying how sorry he was and how he wanted me back so badly. I agreed and immediately went to tell my best friend excitedly. She broke down in tears over the phone saying how sorry she was and what a terrible friend she had been. She then explained how jack and her were talking the whole time we were dating and how she technically got him to break up with me. I was so confused and happy and heart broken at the same time. But I trusted her and forgave them both. Even tho he doesn't know that I know he did that. We dated a few more months and all of a sudden he broke up with me again. She did the exact same thing to me again. Now I can't look at either of them the way I used to. I don't want to forgive, when now I can't forget..

Eleonor

March 16, 2012 @ (Sussex)

Tags: Michael, Tom, Jared

Ever known a person who you constantly fight with? Like every single day?

Well that's the case with me and Tom. We argue so much, scream at each other.. But I love him to bits.. here's my story.

We met 3 years ago in college and I remember saying eeww he's so unattractive. We spoke a bit but that's the end of it. Three months later I met him at a function where I was bored out of my mind and he came up to me and said hey aren't you the person I spoke to around 3 months ago and I was like yes now I remember you. Anyway so we got talking and my dad phoned me and told me he couldn't take me back home that night so Tom drove me home. We are both into acting and around 2 months later were taking place in the same show and that's where we exchanged numbers. I was in a relationship at the time but as time passed I started to develop a soft spot for Tom and forgot my initial outlook on him.

Things got pretty ugly with my then boyfriend and it was Tom who I would phone at all times crying because my boyfriend was treating me like dirt. He supported me and helped me through the breakup, and 3 days after my breakup he held my hand so I was so confused.

Come April and as much as I liked Tom I had strong feelings for another guy- Jared. We started dating and Tom was devastated and didn't speak to me for like 2 whole months then when I broke up with Jared he was the one who I turned to and he held me and supported me. Then the shock of my life came when as I was crying he kissed me.. I was so confused I didn't know whether he liked me or not..

We had a Summer romance, we would do everything together and I loved him so much and was always loyal to him and was head over heels in love with him but my friends would tell me why him he is so unattractive and I would say I think he is handsome because I know his character well and I have learned to see over and above physical beauty.

He was so romantic, we would take long walks by the beach, make out in his car, go to quite places and spend the night making out there.

Then college started again and everything changed. We see each other often there. One night we both drank a lot and got really drunk and started making out in front of everyone and I don't know why he was embarrassed by it and when we met the next day he wasn't the same as usual..

He would ignore me, shout and fight with me and act like a total loser. Then this really fit guy started speaking to me and I told Tom do you like me he said no why I said fine then I'm going to start dating Michael and he didnt speak to me anymore.

I got into a relationship with Michael and since then things between Tom and I have been disastrous. We meet in college and then there's lots of flirting but then we fight so much all the time and compete coz we have classes together and he asked me how much I got in my Anatomy exam and I said A+ and he yelled at me coz he got an A.

Last week we met up with some of his friends and he held my hand and things really seemed weird. Coz I like Michael and he's really sweet and I know that Tom is just playing with my feelings now and he is jealous and possessive and doesn't like the fact that I am dating another guy yet he is too much of a jackass to commit to me :/

Steven

March 06, 2012 @ (Vermont)

Tags: Example 1

My sister gave her friend my number and instantly we started hitting it off. We talked everyday and all day long as well as hung out as much as possible. One day I asked her if she wanted to be official and she agreed. We were together for a few weeks and in that few weeks she said she loved me. I on the other hand wasnt ready to tell her that. Then a few days later she texted me in the middle of the night saying she rushed into the relationship and wasn't ready to be with someone. This was strange because days before she was saying things the COMPLETE opposite. She said she still wanted to talk and hang out and be together but just not officially. So I agreed and things kept going for a week until one day I was at her house playing a game on her iphone when randomly this kid texted her calling her "babe" I was skeptical so I went through the conversation while she wasn't looking and I found days worth of conversations with stuff like her saying "I want you" and "I miss you babe" (stuff she usually says to me) So i showed it to her and she freaked out and begged me not to leave and me being the idiot i was spent all night listening to her explain herself. She said that he meant nothing to her and one of the main reasons she broke up with me in the first place was that "there was another guy" which turned out to be her ex. This devastated me but when we were making up and spending the night together I told her I loved her. We were so close for a while until one day she texted my sister and told her "I make her feel like shit sometimes" which makes no sense because I had done nothing wrong. She told me she needed space from me and said If i dont do so then I'll "lose her forever" I spent two weeks not talking to her and in those two weeks I was in a deep depression and couldn't enjoy anything I once loved doing. So one day she texted me saying she missed me and took me back but once again she went through this stupid little phase she had where she just wouldn't talk to me or wouldn't call me "babe" or call me "her boyfriend" I checked her facebook and she flirts with SO many guys she calls them "babe" and "boo" and I just couldn't believe my eyes. I texted her 8 pages of everything that I felt and told her that she made no effort in the relationship and treated me like an idiot. She then proceeded to deny flirting and talking with other guys when I can clearly see her doing it on facebook. I broke up with her and she told me it was all my fault. Pssh yeah right. I know Im a good guy and I didnt deserve that. Fuck any girl who is a tease and thinks flirting with a million guys is cool. You aren't cool. It's unattractive and makes you look like a slut/idiot/bitch that no one likes

Serena

March 27, 2012 @ (Texas, California)

Tags: Long distance1, internet, dating, sad, breakup

Bitter sweet Internet love life

This is a true story about my own love life and how it started.. and sadly ended

-----------FlashBack-----------
I looked to my right and then to my left, I saw a guy with a cat head on? He seemed pretty interesting, but being the random person I was I walked up to him and said "Hai how's life?", "It's awesome right now" I giggled, "So what's your name?" the crowd around him answered "--------" I didn't even notice they were there and made me jump out of my skin!
------End of Flashback------
The day we first met was a memory turning hazy, but I never knew he would become my best friend. At the time I first met him I was a 1st year in middle school and was pretty dumb, but I didn't care as long as I was having fun at school, I was the type of person who could make anyone smile! I didn't take anything seriously at the time as in friendships, and relationships, I was all about living for the moment and always acting silly, but that would eventually change. Jerome was a well known person, I'm pretty sure he had more friends then I would ever have in my school years, but he was funny and also serious, he always put his friends as his number one priority and that's what I liked about him! I started talking to "------" everyday, and I would always learn something new about him, my friendly feelings eventually turned into love. One day my friend Christopher and I had started talking about the most random topics and I saw "-----" walk over to me and sit close to like he always did , I told Chris, "HEY CHRISTOPHER, are you going to pay for our wedding!" I realized what I had just said and started to blush, "but I have to pay for mine first!" he whined , ever since that day "------" and I became girlfriend and boyfriend, we exchanged numbers and the first thing he said was, "YES, I can prank call you now!" "Oh shush and text me cause I have to go, BAI "------" I LOVE YOUH!<3" "Love you too!<3" After that he imminently texted me, he made me feel special inside like I was the only girl he could have, I guess he had me falling head over heels for them, but things change... The day of my birth was coming up and I was so excited on what he would get me!! It could be anything I ever dreamed of. It finally came and what I got was a diamond ring as in an engagement ring!! He purposed to me after just one month and I felt so happy!! But after that my life would change forever... It was Friday may 20th that I received a text saying he had asked a girl out and she said yes. I wasn't happy about it, but I tried to act happy, but failed miserably. Inside I felt real jealous even though this relationship was just over the Internet I couldn't help but feel a little ache in my heart. As the weeks had gone by we started texting less as he distanced himself from me, but then his friend had died one day and that made the distance seem even longer, as he was always busy helping out others, even though I was a priority I felt like an option which hurt me the most... as a result I... cheated on him, I cheated on him because I wanted him to feel what I felt when he told me he had a girlfriend, that was The lowest point I had ever gone to in a relationship, and I felt empty inside. I told "------" all about "Joey" (a.k.a moo moo) at first he seemed completely fine with it but as I told him more, we had arguments that were pointless, he eventually found out that moo moo wasn't in real life but was on the Internet, I made a fatal mistake of hanging out with "Joey" that day as he gave me a '<3' sign right in front of "------" After that day "------" no longer talked to me, he ignored me, and all their was left was for "Joey" to fill the void I had in my heart. After a successful relationship "Joey" finally ended it, saying we were going to fast... I no longer had anyone to cover up the sadness that they left me, and started to cry everyday waiting for them to come back to me. I became obsessed and eventually had thoughts of suicide, but I never did have the courage to cut into my arm. In my mind I knew no one would want me anymore from the terrible thing I've done to "------", and decided to never love again. All I ever wanted was Jerome's attention and acceptance, I had eventually got it but lost it so easily.

"Yes, this whole relationship thing was over the Internet, but it didn't matter to me because I felt so close to him that even distance couldn't tear me apart from him, I know it was naive of me to think it would last even though I cheated on him, I still hoped the relationship would still make it through"

Ayylove

March 09, 2012 @ (Reality)

Tags: He cheated on me once, Gave him more than 3 chances

We broke up a week before our four monthsary. He said his parents found out about our relationship, and they weren't so happy about it. He said that his parents want him to focus in his studies first and i understand that. We still loved eachother.. till he found another girl the next day

Abhi

March 07, 2012 @ (India)

Tags: First Love

I recently heard somewhere that “The best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature” so this is my effort to get over her.
I met my first love in my first year of college back in sep 2008 we instantly clicked, I had dated before but never felt a connection with anyone the way I felt with her. It was nice hanging out with her and all so I confessed my feelings to her, she said that she felt the same way about me but was not looking for a relationship as she had just come out of a serious relation and was still trying to get rid of her EX. I gave her time and after 4 months we eventually started dating. We were in a committed relation for 10 months in that period we had met each other’s parents and everything seemed to be working pretty well. Well out of nowhere she told me that she was planning to go out of country for further studies and would probably be leaving 6 months later so she wanted to end the relation as long distance does not work and she would miss me too much to be able to stay away and she wanted to stay friends. Well we broke up; I stayed away from her and had a rebound fling that lasted a month. After two months I started dating a girl which was a mutual friend to my ex and it was going great but my ex started contacting me again and when she found out that I was kind of getting serious about this new girl she broke us up. So I started dating my EX again, we dated for three months and we broke up again that was in the starting of 2011. She contacted me 3 months ago and we have been in touch ever since and she told me that she wanted to get married to me, well we never really started dating again just kept in touch. This created a lot of issues for me as this girl was my first love I still had feelings for her, so I told her that this wasn’t working. We fought a full one month and all she kept doing was postponing things. So day before yesterday I called her up and told her it wasn’t working out and I couldn’t do this anymore, she asked me to meet her but this had been going on for a while that whenever I tried to come to a conclusion she would ask me to meet up and cancel at the last moment this had gone on for a full month so I told her that there was no point and asked her not to contact me again. That night I had a couple of drinks and slept on it, next morning I woke up and it hit me….In the past 3 n a half years we were together a cumulative of a 2 years had broken up 3 times, we both had dated other people but we were always there for each other. I realized that I might never see her again…….ever since I have been thinking if made the right decision….