Searching for "i don"

308 Results For 'i don'

Lyn

January 23, 2014 @ (New york)

Tags: Bad break up, I still love him, First love

Our relationship was totally unexpected. Last september 2013, a guy that I had a teeny tiny bit of a crush asked me out unexpectedly. No clues, No everything. Out of shock, I started freaking out. I don't know what to do. My mind screamed no, but heart says yes! The reson why i don't want to go on is because im scared of my mom. Like really. She's the definition of a really strict mom. i was scared but then a thought crossed my mind.

Why not accept this? Everything happens for a reason right?

That's when I said Yes. For the first 2 weeks it was amazing. The sparks, the giddy butterflies in my tummy were there until my mom found out about him. It was horrifying. My mom was in range. My mom threatened me to talk to him in school. I was scared. I told her that I promise to break up witj. So I did. I explained to him everything. After a day, things were back together. We decided to mend things back together. I mean we aren't officially dating but you know what I mean? You can sense that something's still going on? Yup, that's it. October came, he stole my first kiss. It was magical. All I could ever think about is that I love him. That everything revolves around him. Its like he's my world. He's my strength yet he is also my weakness. Everything in him is just perfect. The way he surprises me with kisses.. The way he brought Gatorade just for me (Gatorade is my favorite drink, i just love that shit lol)
It was perfect. Everything was perfect. There are even times when he makes silly jokes or I took glances at him in class and im like 'shit, I love this guy' I was soo inlove. It was just.. Perfect. I never been so happy in my life. Everytime I woke up he's all I ever think about. He's cute 'Good Morning's'.. It made me cry, thinking about all those happy memories.
When christmas break came, he told me that his wifi router got broken.. Me, being the understanding girl that I am, understands him. I told him it was okay that he shouldn't worry about me.

(We talk and chat in Kik. We can't text since my mom checks my phone all the time)

One time, back at christmas break.. I was looking at my chat box in facebook but Something totally made me stop in my tracks. He was online. And he was usinh he's phone. I messaged him, i did everything but noo, he wouldn't reply anymore.. I don't know why. Christmas eve came, I kept on looking at my phone hoping that maybe he'd greet me a merry christmas but no, nothing came. It broke my heart. But one thing crossed my mind. I was like 'oh maybe he's wifi router is still destroyed'

New year came, I was waiting. Waiting for him to atleast greet me but no, nothing still came. It hurt me. It Crushed me .. to millions of pieces. But there's one thing that made me ball my eyes out.. He's close friend messaged me in facebook. He's like;

Happy new year __ ! How are you and him? I hope that this year is going to be a big blast for both of you. Best wishes. Haha don't forget im one of your #1 Fans of LYN! hahaha cx

That totally made me cry. I mean out of everything why that? Why his friend.? Its really heartbreaking to know that he's friend greeted me, while him? No. There was no effort. It crushed me. The way his friend says he want us to be good this year. It break me.

School came along, i tried not to approch him. Waiting for him to atleast apologize or say Hi, or ask me how my christmas break went but nothing. He never did. It crushed me. The next day, I tried talking to him but he was distant like he really is. He's bestfriend approached me and told me he wanted to talk. I listened. He's bestfriend told me the truth. He met a girl back at christmas break. He went to the movies with her and ate in a restaurant. It killed me. I was paralyzed in my seat. My breathing hitched. My face paled. My mind went blank. I felt like crying but my tears wouldn't fall. My eyes feel numb. My skin is on fire. I feel like someone just throwed me a bucket of lava. Just like that. It crushed me. I've lost weight. Im not the happy girl like before. Every recess or lunch, I don't mingle with my friends anymore. I just stay in the classroom, facing the wall, got my phone out and stay there till' its over. It crushed me. I'm not the bubble person that I am before. But you know what hurt me the most? He acted as if I never exist. It was like I was invinsible. That he couldn't see me. Just like that. There are times that I break down in class. I just couldn't help it. He looks soo happy without me. Huge smile in his face. And well, I also think that he has a crush on this girl.. He craves for her attention. He sits with her all the time in class. He talk about her all the time. I don't know what to do. Its killing me since we are classmates. I could see him everyday. Its hard to ignore him. It really is. It broke my heart. he is the love of my life. He's my everything. He's the only reason why I smile. Its hard. I mean he is after all my first love. My first ever boyfriend. My first kiss. It hurt me to know that another that I love, would leave me again. Like my dad. He left me. I mean sure, I got to see him and everything but it isn't like before. My dad has another daugther who is my half sister. My dad loves her so much. He wouldn't even bother to talk to me anymore. He wouldn't crave for our communication. When me and my dad's girlfriend fight, he always take her side. It kills me. Another guy who I love would leave me again. Wow, What did I do to deserve this? It kills me. Its almost a month now but im still not over him. He's all I could ever think about. I don't know what to do. I want the real me to be back again, but it wouldn't. Its hard to smile. He looks soo soo happy without me. It break me into millions of pieces. It made me realize that love is shitload of bullshit. I honestly don't believe in love anymore. I mean why? No matter how loving or caring that person is to you, they will break you in the end. Those people out there that are experiencing heartbreak, don't worry. Your not the only one. Im trying my hardest to stay strong. Let's just believe in ourself, have faith in God. And never say never

James

January 17, 2014 @ (Australia)

Tags: Bad breakup, Sad, feeling lost and confused

We actually met when I was with my ex at the time a gf of almost 3 years and we were not happy at all and I was going to break up with ex. While out walking my dog I met a really cool chick in whom I had a connection with and shared alot of interests. Anyway over bumping into her on walks over a series of months some things happened and took place that seemed like fate and like were mean't to be together so I took a chance and ended it with my ex for another chance to be happy with a girl that appeared to be my "most ideal". We hung out and had an instant connection, strongest intital connection I've ever had with a girl ever ! Although when were hanging out (not dating yet) she told me a story how she has problems hugging her own parents and with displaying public affection, which waved a red flag in my head but I ignored it. We started dating but we rushed things along way too fast which was bad. We spend a whole week together never happier by the two week mark she had moved in with me and "we" and our dogs were all getting along and it was the best times ever we had plans for the future because everything felt right and mean't to be. In the 2 months I was dating her we were so happy and she was affectionate then 6 days days ago she was so distant no kissing no cuddling no touching, sex virtually no talking at all, almost nothing at all, this went on for about 7 days I couldn't understand it ? I am missing a point here she had troubles with affection in general as I found out. She never displayed affection in public except a few hand holdings under sufference though she was really affectionate behind closed doors. She kept telling me I am not a normal girl and I don't like affection and had excuses for no longer wanting to kiss and cuddle or even spend any time at all together really. Prior to this she was very affectionate for almost the 2months even though she said she has problems with affection. So I ended up making the decision to break up with her yesterday, I still don't understand what happened she was with me almost all the time and had no car so she never cheated also appeared very genuine and sweet, I don't know why she completely shut off and all affection and caring and everything was just suddenly gone. Our breakup was messy she was really cold and sarcastic and I said you owe me an explanation..what happened why were you happy and affectionate for 2 months and now nothing, just shut off and distant ? she said "I dont owe you s@#t ! " and eventually "I just don't have one an explanation an answer I wish I did" just before I broke up with her she posted on facebook I don't know if I'll ever be affectionate like everyone else is.....I should of seen all this coming from spotting the first red flag indicating the sign that she has problems with affection. Right now I kind of feel lost and confused and I will never have the satisfaction of knowing what happened, what changed, I'll never understand it !

Broken Hearted Girl...

December 19, 2013 @ (Philadelphia )

Tags: Sad

When I first saw him I was stunned he was so sexy and tall with braids .... we starting talking but then something stupid happened and we stopped. We wound up in the same school and started talking again then eventually dating ... I knew instantly he was someone special .. we soon fell in love and things were going well ... but he had many secrets and he lied multiple times .... over and over and over ... he still thinks to this day that I believe all the lies he too but I just let him believe .. so we were on and off and I just kept going back because I really love him ... but I guess it just wasn't ment to be :( I still love him to this day but we don't really talk any more .. I git kicked out of my school so I don't see him any more ... it hurts really badly and I want him back ... I don't understand why though ... I want to know how he feels ... or at least how he felt ... I wish he knew :(

Waited All That Time For Nothing!

December 16, 2013 @ (Chicago)

Tags: bad break up, ugh, in love, crying

So. I had a thing with this guy. He is three years older than me and we started dating when I was 16. I immediately fell for him after our first date. He was everything I was looking for in a guy, and I could already tell that he was special. We had been dating for 2 months when he had gotten a new job and had to move out of state. I thought it was the end of us but we still managed to carry on for two more months. He was only 2 hours away so he came back about once a week. But then things started to get ugly, he stopped texting me and eventually said things weren't going to work out because he didn't want to keep me on the hook and he didn't see himself moving back home. So I went for a month without him, crying every single day. For some reason I had this gut feeling that things were going to work out, but I thought it was ridiculous so I tried to ignore it. But out of the blue, he texted me again and we began to see each other every time he came back. We were inseperable and we truly fell in love with eachother. He was trying to transfer to a store back home and for months and months he couldn't. But finally, after 9 months he did and we were both ecstatic. But in the weeks leading to his return I had a sinking feeling that I couldn't explain. 3 days after he got back, he broke up with me, saying he still wouldn't be able to give me adequate attention and that I should find someone better. He wasn't even willing to try to make it work for a month. I don't think that was the real reason.

Isabella

December 03, 2013 @ (New york)

Tags: Ugh

I need to vent. In advance, thanks for reading.

He is the last person I thought I'd be crying over. I had just moved and was new in school - it was a smallish town and there wasn't really that many new kids. So everybody was introducing me to everybody. Cutting class with a friend walking around, a group of guys walk up to my friend and he starts talking to them and what not and introduce me to them. I could tell that they are older -some a lot older- I don't even think they went to my school. One of them, Drew, stayed behind everyone with me as we all walked on the narrow sidewalk. We talked briefly I learned he was also cutting, he was some what of a "bad" boy he would always be getting in trouble and smoking weed and all that. My first impression of him was he's cool, he's like me and he's cute! But I never pursued him neither did he with me. I just saw him as a friend. Yeah he's cute but I didn't feel anything towards him. He'd always greet me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek every time and wait for me by my class. I saw him in and out relationships and when one got kinda serious I actually got upset! But not enough to really care and got over it almost right away. His best friend had a thing for me and I let it slide but felt really uncomfortable cause I didn't want drew to find out. I met him in 08 and the years passed and our friendship was just that - a friendship. We didn't become best friends and start dating we didn't have any of that fair tale crap.

Since he was older he left school before I did and after that I barely saw him. In all honesty I didn't really care, he was my friend but just my friend and it wasn't such a tragic thing when we stopped talking. I was on my Facebook and I came across one of his exs and she was getting married! I thought it was to him but then saw that it was to someone else. In my head I thought to myself why do I care? Whatever, right? So I looked him up and we started talking again and catching up and exchanging numbers. He lived close by and he had a car so he was literally only 5 minutes away. He grew to be even more handsome than I remember. And I'm not your typical girl - I'd rather take apart a car engine than get my nails

John

November 14, 2013 @ (New York)

Tags: Bad breakup, emotional, love

My girlfriend I dated for just over a year broke up with me last week. She was my best friend in the entire world. Ever since birth we were best friends, she called me late at night last year and told me some guy was gonna ask her to prom and she couldn't say no but didn't want to go with him. I asked her over the phone. That night we went back to her house and watched movies after the dance. She told me how she was so thankful I asked her and how much fun she had.. And I kissed her.. It was quiet for a while and she hugged me and we cuddled the rest of the night not saying anything. A couple days later I brought her flowers and asked her out. She said yes. We were so happy for the next year, we promised never to stop talking, we hung out all the time, if she needed anything I was there. Then she got some new friends.. We started fighting for the first time in our relationship but we got over it and I loved her even more, but the day after our senior prom she told me she just didn't like me any more. I dont understand but I told her that I loved her one last time and gave her what she wanted. A few days later I realized I couldn't live without her I had gotten drunk for the first time in my life to try to ignore my feelings but nothing worked. I texted her amd told her I missed her... She said she missed me too.. We talked for a few days and I asked to see her again. She didn't respond to my texts or calls for a week. I texted her again a few days ago. I told her I missed her and that we should at least be friends. She said she misses me too. I asked to see her and she hasn't responded. I found out today she has a new boyfriend and she cheated on me for a month with him. But that's not the worst part. The worst part is I still loved her, I always will, and there's nothimg I can do about it

Lauren

November 13, 2013 @ (NY)

Tags: bad break ups, how to break up

I havent broken up with my boyfriend yet, but I'm about to. We have been together for 2 years. When we started dating I was still talking to my ex and that really hurt him(thats what he made me believe) and he made my life hell because I used to talked to my ex in our first month of being together. After like a month of being together I moved in with him and I dropped out of college, I quieted my job, I dint talk to my family, didnt have Any friends other than him. I did all that to show him that i really loved him and no one else. After a while I found out that at the beginning of our relationship, just like me, he was talking to his ex too and not only talking, after I moved in, He was begging her to go back with him. I also found out that he was inviting girls to go out. I also found out that in valentines day he didnt even say happy valentines day to me but he wrote his ex a big email saying how much he wanted to marry her and how much he loves her, and if she needed help, he was there for her. I found out all that almost after a year of us being together. Now we being together for more than 2 years on and off. We still leaving together. He has a son that I love like if he was my son, but he also has a step son (the son of his son's mom and they broke up like 7 years a go) and he is leaving with us and he is a fucking pain in the ass. But not only his step son leaves with us, my boyfriend's mom also leaves with us. Whenever she wants to yell at me she does, whenever she wants to be nice to me she is, but most of the time she doesnt talk to me. I dont work because if I work is a big fight because he doesnt want me to work. So, I have to be home taking care of his real kid, the pain in the ass of his step son, put up with my boyfriend's bitch mom and also put up with my boyfriends crap. On top all that he never complements, anything I do is enough for him. But after all that I'm still loving him and its been so painful every time we have broken up in the past and we always go back together within a month. I am soooo tired of this and i dont know how to break up forever because I'm afraid of the pain that I'm gonna feel plus i think of his real son that is like my son too.
So please I will appreciate any advice.

Morgan

November 04, 2013 @ (United States)

Tags: The worst feeling in the world is being replaced

We were together for four years. I loved him with every ounce of me. I gave him my all. He was my everything. His parents were a big issue, they never allowed us to go out on dates and we constantly had to hangout with his family. He never asked me on dates, and never really wanted to spend time with me. I loved him more than he loved me I guess. My graduation party came and went and he never showed. His father would not allow him to come to it. It hurt very bad but I wanted to stay with him through it all. A few days went by and he said we needed to talk. He came over and broke up with me that night, he said he needed to focus on himself and I was not outgoing enough for him. It hurt days passed by and I found out he cheated on me with a girl four years younger than he is. Shortly after I went onto facebook and had to see pictures of them begin to appear, comments and love statuses going up about each other. His parents are constantly talking about how much they love her and how she is perfect for him. I thought he was the one, and he told me we were going to get married that i was the one for him. Four years, we were together four years and he moved on. He moved on and I cannot get him out of my head. I hope everyday he will come back to me and it tears me up inside what he is doing. He can take her out on dates, hangout with her all the time, and do everything for her. What does she have that I don't? I thought he loved me...

Jess

October 24, 2013 @ (Florida)

Tags: Bad break up

At the beginning, I knew better. I knew better than to date someone who I hadn't been friends with for a while.
I knew better.
Yet still I was determined that this guy I was seeing, was worth it all and that everything would work out. He promised me. Doesn't he know how to keep promises?
His parents got in the way. Always. I learned to accept that, and even though they would insult me to the point of tears, I never gave up on this guy. I never lied, cheated, or never kept my promises.
I let him in, and we enjoyed eachothers company. Just two lovers, happy with no interruptions.
I learned his likes: Baseball, Christ, Spicy Food, Powerade Zero Orange, Orange anything, Food always, and much more.
I learned his goals: Finish college, own his own Chick-Fil-A or sports bar.
All of my friends loved this guy, because I was happy.
I really was happy.
He never really went out of his way unless I begged though. I wasn't sure how to take it, but I never got really upset. I just asked him to please do something to make me feel special.
He ALWAYS promised.
Lies?
I mean he always said he had a surprise for me, and the times he actually gave me a note, it would be two sentences.
Still, I was happy.
Suddenly I became less important.
Morning texts consisted of "Good morning, love you." You're telling me you had 30 minutes ride to college and all I got was that?
It used to be "Pick me up at 10:30AM, let me ditch school to be with you."
Suddenly, I didn't feel like enough, and even though he reassured me that I was, he never showed it anymore.
My birthday weekend was terrible. Last minute he decided what was more important, It wasn't me. Not even on my birthday weekend.
I was upset. I forgave him.
We moved on, but he no longer kept his word that he had surprises.
Why lie?
I became a part of his life and suddenly he could lie to me.
I loved him anyways.
I don't know if I expected too much, but I didn't ask for a lot.
I gave him so much.
I always supported him with any decision he ever made.
I tried to make him happy still.
I recieved broken promises.
My sister died. It hit me so hard, but I never showed it.
I didn't want to bring him down.
He never asked if I was okay. Not once.
I wasn't okay. I'm STILL not.
I loved him anyways.
He lied to me and said he would go to the funeral with me.
I felt special.
Then he said no... I felt worthless.
He could see how much pain I was in, he still said no.
I forgave him. That is unforgivable. I needed him and he walked away, work was more important.
I still went to his work, I hugged him and cried. He made everything okay suddenly.
Suddenly, I didn't feel worthless.
Then came Sunday.
I was broken. My mom was in the hospital, my sister died.
Broken.
He broke me MORE.
He walked away from me at the worst time.
I let him go, he didn't fight to stay.
Suddenly, those endless nights talking, random walks, the aquarium, my birthday, the baseball games and laughing in bed... were to be broken memories.
We talked that night. He lied. He gave me false hope.
We got back together and suddenly it was okay. We could fix this. Love could fix anything.
I forgave him.
He broke me even more.
Suddenly he ignored me all day. We spoke only late at night.
His parents got in the way. I could see how much he let them control him and his happiness.
He hid me from them, like I was the dirt beneath them.
He toyed with my emotions. We were together, he just wouldn't tell anyone.
Worthless.
I broke even more.
I tried to forgive him.
It was my turn to stand up and walk away.
I did.
---

And now it's been a week and I found out I'm pregnant. He knows this, and I'm pretty sure he wants to get back together because of it, and because he says he wants to be with me because it was a mistake to break it off.

A couple days later, I figured out he deleted every picture of me and us off of his facebook (he says he didn't do it), like the 11 months we were together didn't exist, I didn't exist and I could be erased that easily.

So I took him out, between college classes, and we fell back into the routine. He made me laugh, smile, even looked me dead in the eyes and said he wanted me back. Well it's a little embarrassing seeing as his mother is his friend on facebook and probably saw everything erased of us. Still, I was considering it.

I went to drop him back off at College, and I sat there in my car asking him if he had flirted with any girls. He said no. So I said, alright... Well let me see your phone (I honestly wasn't snooping, I just wondered if he still had pictures of us in his photo album. He did.)

Right then a girl messaged him and it opened up, and I know I shouldn't of read any of it, but I did. Shame on me. IT WAS ON FACEBOOK CHAT. It went like this:

Him: Hey
Her: Hey
Him: How are you?
Her: Didn't you just break up with your girlfriend?
Him: How do you know I had a girl?
Her: Look I don't have time for this nonsense.
Him: Do you want to get to know me?
Her: Go sit in front of a TV with a tub of icecream.

And that was it. I told him to get his shit and get out of my car. Generally, if you want someone back, you don't go around flirting?

He texted me saying he was sorry, that it was just a question. I was pissed, he sat there and acted like I didn't even exist, talking to other girls. How serious was he about getting back together, because HE was the one who suggested it. Turns out that wasn't the only girl he had been talking to.

He then turned it on me saying, "I thought we were done and you were talking to other guys, that's why I did it."

No, actually I don't play with peoples emotions. I hadn't talked to any guys. I wouldn't of anyways, but the fact that I'm pregnant and knew he needed to be there in this childs life, pushed me even further to try and make it work out.

I'm so confused!

Nothing

October 20, 2013 @ (india)

Tags: End of a relationship

Finally its over a mother daughter relationship between a teacher and student, about 6 years i hold on with a person who doesn't loved me back. I was with her in her good and bad times. I helped her as much as i could. Gave my full attention,love and trust but,, its not enough to being loved back. I dont want to complain about her coz its my mistake to hold on with someone very long time after been neglected so many times. its very hard to forgot her i used to text her all the time.. thanks for her patience to bear my disturbance. i got my clearance now. tones of time i tried to break this relationship but i couldn't but its clear now its the time to give up and not looking back anymore.. The past has nothing new to say.. she hated she hates and she 'll. Now i got a job. I am gonna give my sincerity to my company rather than wasting time like this.. may be im wrong now but i'll be right someday.. Thanks for reading ..