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Trisha

February 29, 2012 @ (Cali)

Tags: Lesbian, blindside, experiment, straight

Background knowledge: I am a 24 year old lesbian, known my whole life and came out at 16. She is a almost 23 year old "free spirit" never had been with a girl before but always said she'd never closed it out of her options.

We first talked in May of 2011 and there was instantly a connection between us. She asked me to hang out in the beginning of June for the first time and we hit it off. We went out with a group of friends but me and her were inseperable. I knew she was "straight" so I didn't make any advances but she sure did!! She kept telling me how hot I was, she invited me to stay at her house that night(even made sure to mention I wouldn't be sleeping on the couch), and grabbed my hand to hold it to the next bar we walked to. As we sat there talking she grabbed my head and began making out with me. Wow! We walked back to her place and innocently kissed and fell asleep. She walked me to my final college class the next morning and we were glued to each other since that night. Our "relationship" grew over the next 9 months into something I saw as perfect, one of a kind, unique, and new. She told me she felt the same way. She had never felt so real before and that this was truly the relationship she always dreamed of and I was the person she always dreamed for. I was "the one". The sex was aweesome(in my opinion), and she would tell me how she couldn't wait to spend her life with me, have babies with me, and how truly amazing I treated her. So things are rolling just like they had been when suddenly she tells me, "I don't know about us anymore. I'm so confused and I'm just not sure what our future holds." I let her think for a week and hope she is just saying crazy things and we can make it better. We have a PHENOMENAL weekend but things seem distant still as the week comes. I ask if things have gone back to normal and if she still believes I'm the one and what we have is unique and one of a kind. She doesn't reply. I ask if she wants to break up. Her response, "No! I mean.....I don't know". That kind of said it all. So we hung up after that and she didn't contact me for an entire fucking week!! Blindsided by this breakup, everything seemed perfec for 9 months, then she gets confused and ends it. We finally talk after a week of not taking and she was supposidely so sad and miserable over the situation. After giving me BS reasons that we broke up for 30 minutes, she finally "got honest" with me and let me know that she loved me as a friend and as a person but got that confused with being in love and that she tried to convince herself that she was "in love" but that she doesn't think she is. She could never see a future with me she said. AKA she isn't gay/can't be with a girl! Talk about a fucking slap in the fucking face. It's the closure I needed but now I'm just pissed that I was apart of her experiment that she likely knew the results of early after we met but didn't let me know till now. Plus for her to pretend she was in love with me and wanted a future with me is BS. She isn't the first "straight" girl to do this to me but she is the first to let it last 9 months. She wants to be friends and will talk/text but I feel like it's not a good idea. I think any "pain" she felt is gone now and she is relieved and fine because she "cleared her conscious" and got honest. I don't think she has any pain over losing "us" or this "relationship" and that sucks because I thought it was something different for 9 months but I guess it was all a lie.

Perc3pti0n

February 28, 2012 @ (Australia)

Tags: (trust, love, friends, life)

Second year of high school we became friends. But he wasn't one of my usual friends, we would poke and push each other around playfully. We would compete over little things. Our friendship slowly grew, he didn't let anyone in easily. But even at that young age people always teased us about being together. Four years later he was my best friend and much more, we went out and it started off great. I was suffering from depression at the time and he got me help, he helped me through all of it. I felt safe with him. He didn't really have many close friends except me, i felt like his only one and i loved it. We would fight a lot but we always made it through. Then when high school finished we broke up, we had enough. I still wanted him but maybe only because i felt lonely. We were determined to stay friends. But as soon as he moved out of home and into the city he made his own friends and one night we found ourselves throwing abuse at each other, i missed him and i was angry that he was absent in my life. Anyway as i began to cry on the phone telling him how much i actually missed him, he began to laugh, saying he didn't need me, he didn't care. I can't even recognize him anymore.

Early in our relationship he said he would never break up with me. He said we would always be best friends. He seemed so great but in the end he turned out like every other selfish bastard. I've lost my trust in people, i hope one day i can regain it. More than anything though, i see how much he's enjoying life right now and how i'm not and its difficult to get through.

Serena

February 27, 2012 @ (Texas, California)

Tags: Long distance1, internet, dating, sad, breakup

Bitter sweet Internet love life

This is a true story about my own love life and how it started.. and sadly ended

-----------FlashBack-----------
I looked to my right and then to my left, I saw a guy with a cat head on? He seemed pretty interesting, but being the random person I was I walked up to him and said "Hai how's life?", "It's awesome right now" I giggled, "So what's your name?" the crowd around him answered "--------" I didn't even notice they were there and made me jump out of my skin!
------End of Flashback------
The day we first met was a memory turning hazy, but I never knew he would become my best friend. At the time I first met him I was a 1st year in middle school and was pretty dumb, but I didn't care as long as I was having fun at school, I was the type of person who could make anyone smile! I didn't take anything seriously at the time as in friendships, and relationships, I was all about living for the moment and always acting silly, but that would eventually change. Jerome was a well known person, I'm pretty sure he had more friends then I would ever have in my school years, but he was funny and also serious, he always put his friends as his number one priority and that's what I liked about him! I started talking to "------" everyday, and I would always learn something new about him, my friendly feelings eventually turned into love. One day my friend Christopher and I had started talking about the most random topics and I saw "-----" walk over to me and sit close to like he always did , I told Chris, "HEY CHRISTOPHER, are you going to pay for our wedding!" I realized what I had just said and started to blush, "but I have to pay for mine first!" he whined , ever since that day "------" and I became girlfriend and boyfriend, we exchanged numbers and the first thing he said was, "YES, I can prank call you now!" "Oh shush and text me cause I have to go, BAI "------" I LOVE YOUH!<3" "Love you too!<3" After that he imminently texted me, he made me feel special inside like I was the only girl he could have, I guess he had me falling head over heels for them, but things change... The day of my birth was coming up and I was so excited on what he would get me!! It could be anything I ever dreamed of. It finally came and what I got was a diamond ring as in an engagement ring!! He purposed to me after just one month and I felt so happy!! But after that my life would change forever... It was Friday may 20th that I received a text saying he had asked a girl out and she said yes. I wasn't happy about it, but I tried to act happy, but failed miserably. Inside I felt real jealous even though this relationship was just over the Internet I couldn't help but feel a little ache in my heart. As the weeks had gone by we started texting less as he distanced himself from me, but then his friend had died one day and that made the distance seem even longer, as he was always busy helping out others, even though I was a priority I felt like an option which hurt me the most... as a result I... cheated on him, I cheated on him because I wanted him to feel what I felt when he told me he had a girlfriend, that was The lowest point I had ever gone to in a relationship, and I felt empty inside. I told "------" all about "Joey" (a.k.a moo moo) at first he seemed completely fine with it but as I told him more, we had arguments that were pointless, he eventually found out that moo moo wasn't in real life but was on the Internet, I made a fatal mistake of hanging out with "Joey" that day as he gave me a '<3' sign right in front of "------" After that day "------" no longer talked to me, he ignored me, and all their was left was for "Joey" to fill the void I had in my heart. After a successful relationship "Joey" finally ended it, saying we were going to fast... I no longer had anyone to cover up the sadness that they left me, and started to cry everyday waiting for them to come back to me. I became obsessed and eventually had thoughts of suicide, but I never did have the courage to cut into my arm. In my mind I knew no one would want me anymore from the terrible thing I've done to "------", and decided to never love again. All I ever wanted was Jerome's attention and acceptance, I had eventually got it but lost it so easily.

"Yes, this whole relationship thing was over the Internet, but it didn't matter to me because I felt so close to him that even distance couldn't tear me apart from him, I know it was naive of me to think it would last even though I cheated on him, I still hoped the relationship would still make it through"

Suzyjoe

February 23, 2012 @ (california)

Tags: bestfriend, heartbreak

Ok so he's my bestfriend and all that crap.. He went out with both of my girl bestfriends and apparently "loved" them..but then he falls "in love" with me and stuff and asks me out and I of course said yes. But then he gets suspended from school and I don't see him for about 3 weeks I don't talk w him or communicate in any way w him and its driving me crazy! And sO he finally gets his Facebook back and I send him a message but he totally ignores me cuz he hasn't answered and I sent him almost a week ago. Then people tell me that he's cheatIng on me but I don't eaisly believe rumours but you never know rite? And so finally I break up w him feeling totally depressed that I did and I don't know if he knows yet cuz I just sent it today.. And I totally regret it but it felt right and then it feels soooo wrong..and now I'm left w nothing..but a broken heart (as cliche as that sounds)

Bunny

February 10, 2012 @ (buena park)

Tags: sadd

We were dating for almost 3 years, we used to be so in love (or so i thought) he had a bff that i disliked, they were always together. I always had a feeling he liked her sinse everytime they were together he wasn't that sweet, but yet i desided to ignore it. Months passed by everything was cool then he stoped being sweet, didnt say i love you back and me me feel unapreciated his excuse always was "remember you're my first gf I don't have relationship experiance" then one day she came back from who knows where and they desided to hang out (not alone but with a group of friends)i didnt know this. He would just ignore my txt messages and calls so i was worried and asked his friend and thats when he told me they were together. I desided I couldn't take this anymore and i told him i needed time and then he asked "you're breaking up with me?" i was really stupid and i changed my mind And i said no and i told him what was wrong but then he said that he needs a break and broke up with me I begged him not to leave me for 4 days and he desided to give us another chance.. Months later everything was perfect but then he broke up with me because a guy posted a perverted wallpost on my facebook wall (i didnt even see it before he broke up with me) insted of telling him to backoff or somthing he leaves me. I blocked the guy and tried explaining what happened to him but he didn't listen. we tried being friends but then i told him to give us one last chance he agreed to it but it felt like i was forcing him to be with me sense he told me he didn't think we were going to work out and he was never sweet even though I tried everything to make him love me. I gave up and told him it took me a long time to understand but now I know he doesn't want me and I broke up with him. Then one day I found this amazing guy that treats me like a princess but we were just friends. After about 3 months he tells me he still loves me blah blah blah and that he never stoped loving me and he was soo sweet but by this time I was already over him and I told him I liked someone else already but he insisted that he still loved me. I ended up getting with the guy and now hes mad at me for getting with another guy and doesnt want anything to do with me.
I wish him luck and Im glad I found someone who treats me right.

Sami

January 26, 2012 @ (L.A)

Tags: HELP

Recently I hooked up with this geek in school and I broke up with my hot boyfriend,I know u think "why!" but DID U KNOW GEEKS ARE HOT!!! (NO JOKE). Anyways my ex lost his mind and shot My geek, The police dont know this yet and im really scared to come fowared with this information. It can destroy my ex's life and frankly i still care for him. HOW CAN I HELP BOTH TWO PEOPLE I LOVE WITH NOT HURTING THE OTHER HELLLLP!!!!!!!!
I NEED ADVISE!!!!!!

Confused

January 23, 2012 @ (adelaide)

Tags: hurt, confused

So i was at school walking around when this guy called me over too him, wed been talking alot on facebook but hadnt officially met. he was such a sweetheart and anything you could ever want as weeks past i started getting feelings for him he admitted he was too wed text, latenight phonecls, hug and his when we seen eachother at school. I really feel gor him and he always said he had really big feelings for me too until oneday i found.out he got into a relationship with another girl. he just kept lying and saying he wasnt but i knew it was true. i was so hurt how could a guy lead me on so far then just act like nothing happened. we stopped talking for awhile and then oneday he told me whenever he seen me hed remember the feelings he had for me and stuff. then 8months past and him and her broke up and he started texting me again and he got his bestfriend too text me and i was getting along well with both of them until james(the guy who played me) stopped txting me but me and beau (james bestmate) kept texting wed talk everyday and night and id tell him how i still had feelings for james and hed tell me to tell him and then a month later beau and mine texts got flirty and he ended.up coming to my house after showcase he parked behind.the fence and i snuck out to see him and we were play fighting then wed hug and then we starting kissing and we were talking and mucking around then.kissing again.and then.he had to leave to pick up his mate and he kept txting me after that we got along well but when i wss with him id have huge butterflies and a warm fuzzy feeling and this was the third timee being with him then the next day after school he picked me.up and i went back to his and we were being goobs and kissed againand i was there for awhile then id left to go home. tthen a few weeks later he asked me if it was ok to tell james that hed kissed me and stuff and i was like yeah then james started txting me saying beau and - kissing in the tree blah blah acting all jelousy now its been 2months and i thought i had feelins for james still and told him i wanted to be with him and he told me he felt the same but then.his ex told me he had kept ringing her telling her he still loved her and how he was flirting with other girls so i soughted my shit out and stopped talking to him and ive realised i like his bestfriend and his bestmate says he still likes me abit and his who i imagine myself with now. i honestly am so confused i dont know what to do cause i want tk be with beau so thats why i stopped talking to james but i dont know whether to tell beau how i feel or just stay friends with benifits cause i really like him and i know my situation could ruin their frienfships but it wont. and i dont know what to do ? Please help guys xx

Jess

January 16, 2012 @ (Australia)

Tags: phone, crazy

Me and this guy weren't exactly dating but I had to break up with him anyway. I met a guy and gave him my number. I then accidently left my phone at my friends house. My phone was there a few days. I thought I would just explain it to him, if he called or messaged me. I got my phone back and it happened to be my birthday. There were a bunch of msgs beforehand. These are the text messages that followed.
Him: Did you have some company last night? I cant be with someone who is going to play around. Not having it. So please explain....(separate msg)I thought u were different, obviously I am wrong again.
Me: I left my phone at a mate's house and got it about 12 last night. I didnt think it would have been nice of me to msg u then. But thanks, this is exactly what I wanted to wake up to on my birthday. By the way, my friend told me his dad had cancer thus why things have been hard for me to get my phone.
Him: Ok then just wanted to know. Happy birthday hunny, hope you have a great day and I hope I cans ee u soon xoxo
Me: Why the hell would u assume I had company? Why would u assume the worse of someone u barely know? I'm not your GF. My mother doesnt even speak to me like that. Why dont u explain?
Him: I know your not my gf. Ur friend texted me back off your phone (my friend had told him to stop calling because I didnt have my phone). And he said he couldn't tell me his name. If you want me to go I will.
Me: Why would my friend need to tell you his name? Why would his name matter? If u wanted an explanation you should have asked nicely. If something like this sets u off into insulting me, its really not gonna work out ever.
Him: Ok all the best...(again new message)...Ur a quitter. You'll be a lonely old woman. It sounds like you'll get what you deserve so good luck with someone that'll put up with that...Quitter....So u quit an arguement. lmfao...Its just an excuse so u can flirt with guys tonight on your birthday...classy whose place are you gonna leave your phone at this time. lmfao...get f***ed.

Confused, And Lost

January 16, 2012 @ (Wv)

Tags: break-up

Well, it's been around six months, since my girlfriend and I had broken up. we had only been going out for three months but it seemed things were going really well for both of us. Some unfortunate things happened, and she broke up with me because I had to move. I ended up not moving because of a death in the family and she told me she didn't want to hurt me anymore, so we didn't get back together. In the past six months, her best friend told me that my ex still had feelings for me. (keep in mind, the three of us are still very close friends.) Then about a month later she said that my ex didn't want a relationship. I still have feelings for her, and have tried to move on, but nothing seems right. I need an idea as to what I'm to do at this point, because she seems to be falling for another guy now, three months after her best friend said that to me. I'm lost, and need help. Anyone?

Heartbroken Girl

January 15, 2012 @ (Austria)

Tags: Heartbreak, breakup

Well, here's my story..
About 2 weeks ago, my boyfriend broke up with me. To be honest, he has been breaking up with me for the past 2 years. Basically, the first year was more than just perfect. It was more I thought possible! I loved him so much, I would have done anything for me and I knew he felt the same way about me.

So after a year, he broke up with me for the first time. I probably did the worst thing possible after that: I begged him to stay with me and tried to convince him for an hour to give us another chance - which he did eventually.
The weird thing was, that in those next few days, he would be everything I wanted. Kind, sweet, caring, telling me how much he loved me and that he couldn't imagine living a life without me.

This lasted for about 2 months when he broke up with me again. I didn't beg him to stay with me anymore, but after some days he came back, telling me how sorry he was and that he badly wanted us to be together again - I went back.
You see the pattern there, I guess..

So, that's how it would be: breakin up, getting back together, being completely in love again, breaking up..
After 2 years, I wasn't myself anymore. My life revolved around him, he was the center of my universe and that's when I completely lost myself.. I was trying to be the perfect girlfriend, to never make him angry, to always do what he wanted me to do, but it didn't matter. No matter what I did, he would still breake up with me after telling me the day before that I was everything he wanted.

I was confused, devastated, hurt. So, about half a year ago, after one of his breakups I knew, I couldn't take it anymore. I even had to get professional help and take antidepressants to get through the day. It was the hardest time of my life and there were times, were I didn't just want to die (which I did daily), but when I thought I actually would because of the pain.
The only thing that helped me was knowing that he didn't have anyone else and I tried to tell myself he would come back eventually. After some time, I even thought, I had found myself again and I didn't need him anymore.

So, 3 months ago, he texted me, saying how much he wanted me and another chance with me. When he came over, I knew I never stopped loving him, but at least I was able to keep control of myself. He noticed of course, that I had changed and he was everything I always wanted him to be. He even was full of doubts, saying how scared he was, that I wouldn't want him anymore and that he was so sorry for what he had done and that he had the feeling that everything was better now.
I really thought, he had a wakeup call and that he finally knew, he didn't want to be without me. Everytime I went out with my friends, he was so scared that I would meet someone else that I even felt sorry for him, because I really didn't want him to feel bad. So I would always say the sweetest things, when he called or texted me, because I wanted his doubts to go away - while I was out, supposed to be having fun. I liked doing it though, because it showed me, he cared!

We didn't see each other that often during the last 3 months, because we both had a lot of work to do and we wanted to take things slow. We didn't spend christmas and new year's eve together because he was visiting his family. I really missed him and he also always said how much he was looking forward to seeing me again. I believed him.
On new year's eve, while I was out celebrating, he kept texting me, calling me, saying that he was so scared I would do anything stupid and that he wanted to remind me how happy he was to be seeing me the next day.

So, when he came to visit me, he was kind and sweet and he stayed over. The next day, after sleeping with me once more of course, he broke up with me.. For the last time now, because a few days ago I found out he was already in a relationship with another woman..
After ONE week..

How come, I am so easy to forget? That he's living his life with someone else, happy, while I don't even know how to get up in the morning?
Everyone keeps telling me, that I would get over him eventually and that I'm oh so young (20) so of course I would fall in love again - and maybe they are right!

But... I know that there are people out there, never able to let go, who always find themselves hurt and miserable again, everytime they see that person.
I don't want to end up like that, I don't, but what if I'm one of those people? What if everytime I'm going to see him alone or with his new girlfriend, my hearts just breaks all over again?
How do I know that I'll be able to let go?

It felt good to get this of my chest..
With all my love,

a heartbroken girl