Searching for "rap"

71 Results For 'rap'

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February 28, 2013 @ (Ontario)

I haven’t had much experience with serious relationships but this is one of the hardest things I've done. I would really appreciate some feedback from outside sources since I'm a popular guy but few people to go to in this city and certainly no shoulder to cry on.
Last night I broke up with my girlfriend of 2 years; a girl I admire and daresay love (in many ways), who upon graduating, fought her hateful parents and moved to the city where I studied to complete my late ass degree. Free rent to help pay her loans and good job opportunities out of the question, she moved here to work to survive just to live with me.
We’re both 22 now, and we have known each other for a little over 2 years. Because of her anxiousness to date and my cautiousness it took us about 6 months to go from friends to official.
Moving in after a year was scary enough but done so that we could stay together. This loving girl knew she wanted me forever from the first few months. I was new to the whole relationship scene, and rather unsure. Naturally the thought that she was scared the crap out of me.
But we moved in, and as expected there were some rough nights. We were far from perfect, and her dependence on me paired with her inherent need to ‘have the final say’ on everyday issues tested my rationality regularly. In spite of a few terrible nights where we swore we were done, the year as roommates ended far better than expected. We had learned a lot about living with one another and grown our love. This was mostly because she did everything possible to be the perfect girl, she: is caring, generous, and sweet beyond belief, cooks fantastic meals, adopts new styles, and always promoted a good sex life. Still I felt unhappy – for a reason that was not immediately clear. I loved her, but I also restrained my interests for her sake at times. I feel that this is normal, but I also feel young and that there is much I want to do before I make the necessary sacrifices that come with commitment. In short - I felt that everything was moving too fast.
She never stopped pressuring me into the thing she wanted most from me - a promise. This was something that I couldn't give until I felt ready. She plans to have the security of an engagement ring within the next couple of years, and reminds me of that regularly. I love her, but this is my life too!
With what looks like 2 or 3 years before a real career begins for me, being ready to propose seems half a decade away. I tell her I want to enjoy the relationship we have and continue to work on it and grow together. When I talk to her about the pressure her sacrifices put on me she says she wants someone to match the love –and commitments- that she shows. Unfortunately I can't do that, and although I love her, I have to let her go.
Our timing was cruelly wrong, and I think it is finally time to stop ignoring that fact and use the time to explore myself and my desires. She could be the one, but that’s just not something I can decide yet.

DT

February 19, 2013 @ (Bulgaria)

Tags: break up

Hey guys :) i've read some of your stories and i guess mine isn't as tragic but it still hurts... It all started the day after a friend's party me and 3 guys were kicked out of the house at about 8 in the morning and we decided we were hungry. So we went to Dunkin'Donuts. There we started talking and i realized how much in common we had with K[my ex]. After that we hadn't paid much attention to eachother but we started chatting on facebook. We got closser and closser with every single day we always chatted and when we weren't near a computer we texted. So on march 28th 2012 we started dating ^^ Everything was perfect we were always together we had mutual friends and everything was perfect... i was so HAPPY :)... i even gave my virginity to him ... But then things got bad... we started seeing eachother less and less... he stopped calling me or whatever... if i didn't write to him or call him he never would... he prefered to go to his pottheaded friends then be with me :). So the first time i hadn't heard from him for a week i told him that i want attention i know he's been on the computer i've seen his facebook posts FOR GODS SAKE! And he just looked with those puppy eyes said he was sorry and everything was right again :)... but no.. it happened again... and again... On the third time i asked him how would he feel in my place? What would he do? Did he know that i felt like i was there just so if someone asked him if he had a girlfriend he'd say yes? He just stayed silent... After that day ended i went home and i was expecting atleast a phonecall from him to bring me back.... Nope! Not even a message... So i wrote: after everything we've been trough i didn't even get one message... he called me. The same thing happened i talked he stayed silent... we said we'd meet... We did the samme thing and after the hundret time of me asking him what should i do and how does he think i feel he said i hope we stay friends.... The sad thing is 4 months after the break up i already have a new boyfriend that does EVERYTHING for me and treats me like a princess and i still can't get HIM out of my mind... and what hurts even more is that he doesn't give crap about me :) So i'm forced to see him everyday at school and act happy and fake...

Zaria

February 01, 2013 @ (United States)

Tags: aunt's, July

Okay soooo......it was like July, last summer and i went to my aunt's for two weeks. When i was there i met this good looking guy and we started talking after i saw him at a bball game. He asked for my number and you already know i wasn't missing that opportunity!After i left we started talkin ALOT(from 9 in the morning till like maybe 2 or 3 a.m. the next day). Well in the beginning of September (on my bday) he FINALLY asked me out.
To me, he was the sweetest kid ever with smarts and a bball career on his hands (he was invited to a NIKE camp only for the top..100 players in the state i think?)Then school started up again and he was tellin me how all these different girls were tryin to flirt with him (remember this was a long distance relationship) and stuff. And my dumb self believein him smh.
Well a few months down the road that fool starts talkin about this friend of his, whos a girl, of course i think nothin of it. Then he broke up with me the weekend after Thanksgiving, for her..and im like WOW! did i really not see these signs that were RIGHT under my nose.
He'd talk about that girl all the time..but thats not the worst part. HE EXPECTED US TO STILL BE FRIENDS....come on now you've gotta be kidding! Plus the whole time i was with him he was lyin. He told me he was in honor classes..his report card said ffffff so obviously not! And he also was talkin about how he was 'sooo kool' and crap...doubt it considering he had like 50 followers on twitter...I just think u shouldnt have to lie about yourself to boost your ego...u definitely turn out looking even more stupid wen everyone finds out the truth.

Lilly

January 23, 2013 @ (Kansas city mo)

Tags: heartbroken

In may I broke up with my boyfriend and I finally got over it and in October I notice a Guy in my English class and he was really nice and cute. So we started talking more and then we starting huggin everyday like a ritual. But recently I found out that he said I wasn't thick enough and that I was too pushy and I feel like crap again and I just want to be over it but now he has a GF and it hurts so much. :'(

Farrah

September 23, 2012 @ (CA)

Tags: breakup

FROM MY DIARY: MY BOYFRIEND, THE ADDICT

I need to laugh right now, even though I feel like crying. You see, the man I love is an addict. Piece by piece, he’s breaking my heart. I think this might be over.

For the time being, though, I figure laughter is the best medicine. So I’m trying to focus on the crazy man outside with the abrasive voice, yelling on the phone in a language I can’t understand. At the same time, I’m reading these break-up stories on an online support group for damaged relationships, wondering how on earth I got here.

I’m trying to remember the things I'm grateful for, which is hard to do in a time like this. My therapist tells me to do this when I feel down. It helps me shift into a more positive mindset. I need to look at the things I DO have in my life and stop focusing on what I've lost - because I can’t stop thinking about Ryan* and about how much I miss the person he used to be.

I feel like I lost him even before the new girl "friend" came along. However, I know she’s only a piece of this crazy puzzle. The old Ryan would never have hurt me that way. He never would’ve lied to me about seeing her. He never would’ve blamed me for his own mistakes.

For the past couple months, I’ve had that gut instinct, telling me something wasn’t right. I could already feel him starting to slip away, and I keep remembering the person who once loved and adored me, and who thought I was beautiful and amazing. I miss the way he used to hold me, kiss me, talk to me for hours. He said he wanted to be with me forever, and I wanted his face to be the first thing I saw each morning, every day for the rest of my life. I never told him that – but I felt it in my heart. He inspired me to be a better person. I miss that man.

When I met him over a year ago, he’d first gotten sober. Gradually, he changed into a brand new person. A light appeared in his eyes; he was truly happy. He went to AA, got a sponsor, and was taking steps toward a brighter future. What went wrong?

It hurts so badly to watch him change. I watch as he stumbles through the darkness of his addiction, sloppy step-by-step, and I can’t do a thing. The pain cuts like a knife, but I’m trying not to feel it. I’m trying to be strong. I don't even know him anymore. He can't see the way he hurts me. While he's this way, he can't see anything else. He’s locked in the grip of denial – in a world that is cold and black. Until he wants help, he won’t get better, and right now he doesn’t believe anything is wrong.

I can't go on this way with him. I love him more than words can say, but I have to love myself enough as well.

I have to realize that the person I'm leaving behind isn’t the man I fell in love with. Instead, he’s a stranger, and all I have are memories of someone I once loved with all my heart.

I watch him wrestle within his own skin, and wallowing in the pits of self-imposed misery. He can't even see what this does to me. He'll only get better when the pain of staying the same outweighs his fear of change.

Unless he’s willing to be honest with himself, he’ll never change, and things between us will continue to deteriorate.

As long as he’s in this mode, he’s capable of anything. He expects my trust without being trustworthy. He expects results and rewards without doing anything to earn them. It isn’t realistic, but he can’t see that now – not the way the old Ryan would. I guess it’s impossible to see the entire picture while you’re standing in it.

A part of me still believes in him. He pushed through this before, and he became an amazing person because of it. It's hard to watch something so beautiful waste away before your eyes. It’s even harder to walk away.

Whatever happens, I do believe that everything happens for a reason - even if I can't see what that is right now. One day, maybe I'll understand. And one day - just maybe - the man I love will come back to me.

Emaa

June 23, 2012 @ (middle of nowhere)

Tags: lifedestroyer, breakup, ruined

ok well heres how it is. im 15, and will be 16 next month. i dated a guy called jerry for about idk 3 weeks i wasnt like madly in love or any of that, but he was keeping my mind off other guys. so yeah he was 19, good looking and really popular too. of course he was one of those tough 'i dont give a shit' guys with no feelings but he was funny enough. anyway, i caught him fucking one of his pretty 6th year classmates. guess where? on the way to school. i obvioisly dumped him in a heartbeat, skipped school for the day to eat my triple chocolate m&s cereal thing and watch maury. ok after a day of that, and texts of 'jerry is a dickhead he didnt deserve you', i got one saying exactly this "You must be so angry at Jerry, for posting that video online. Whatta dick!". hold the phone, what video? then i got a link from fran (my friend). holy fuck. it was a video of me and jerry 'you know what-ing'. AKA FUCKING and i felt like dying right then and there. he'd taken a video of us in secret, not only that it was online, not only that everyone i know saw it. i was about to run away but my step mum came home. she saw it too, god knows how. she got really mad and told me everyone she knew saw it too, even my granny. and of course the texts flew in about what a dirty whore i was, even my friends in singapore watched the video. ive kinda cut everyone off except from my really good friends. i left and am now staying in my house in the country alone (my dad died and i got the huge awesome house) and am lonely as fuck. my bet friend callum told me i should take him to court and sen him away for 20+ years on counts of child pornography, statutory rape and uploading a video without consent. this is without a doubt the worst break up of my entire life ands its destroyed me. hope you feel better thst your break up wasnt half as bad. but i could be wrong if they broke your heart, because thats really sad and hurts A LOT especially when you really really loved them x have fun reading more like i do x

Krissy

April 24, 2012 @ (USA)

Tags: heart break

I thought I was in love. I thought he was the one, and after having several bad realstion ships I was excited. He was everything I wanted. We dated for a year and a half, and in the beginning it was great. But as time went on he talked to me less and less, NEVER EVER hung out with me. I had to beg. When i told him i loved him he never say it back. I thought I was doing something wrong. I thought I needed to change. So for our one year I made him a scrapbook I spent months on. What does he say? "Oh.. nice thanks." I didn't get anything for valentines day.... and then soon he just felt completely distant. He was planning to go to new York to school, and when I asked him what was going to happen to us, he says "I dunno." I never got an answer. I soon became so lonely, waiting for him and practically kissing his feet. I became depressed and soon got fed up. I broke up with him (after many harsh words from him) and I figured if he loved me he would try to come back. He never did. He never told me he loved me. I wasted a year and a half on him. Never again. I am hoping the one for me is still out there, but for now I still cry over him.

Veronica

April 18, 2012 @ (US)

Tags: female, emotional, slapped

I'm a bit embarrassed about this, but cut me a little slack, this happened 20+ years ago, and I was an emotional, young college girl at the time (an English Lit/Drama major no less). I had been romantically involved with this guy for about six months and it seemed to me that we just couldn’t take things to the next level and it would be in both of our interests to move on. So one day, I decided to have a heart to heart chat with him, going to great lengths to be sensitive to his feelings, and getting a little emotional in the process of saying it was time to end things. His response? Well, very casual, dry (he was an engineering major, go figure;) and hmmm, maybe even a little cheerful. He said with a smile, “yeah, you’re right, it’s probably the best thing.” Well, I was stunned by his lack of disappointment and asked if that was all he had to say. He again replied casually, “yeah, I think that’s about it.” I had invested the past six months of my life with this guy and he didnt seem to be the least bit upset that I was breaking up with him?! That was more than I could take. I stood up from the bench we were sitting on in the heart of the campus quad (imagine a diminutive Asian gal hovering over a large, strapping male), gently lifted his chin (by the look on his face, he may have been expecting a good bye kiss) and then SMACK — he got a hearty slap, right across the face. Of course I walked away in a huff, a complete, emotional wreck. Later on, I talked about it with a few of my sorority sisters and of course got hugged, consoled, etc. Then one of my sisters said something like “so wait a minute….you broke up with him and then slapped him?”. It then occurred to me how ridiculous the scenario was! Laughter ensued along with lots of good-natured teasing from my friends. The story doesn’t end there. A few days later, he sent me flowers and an apology card. I’m not sure if the poor guy even knew what he was apologizing for! ;-)

Lex

March 01, 2012 @ (Florida)

Tags: text, mom, jerk,

I've had this on again off again relationship for a while (3 years) and currently it is off. However this last breakup, broke my heart. I'm pretty young and still live at home. He and my mom were pretty close and they texted often whenever he needed help with something he couldnt go to his parents to. However, this one night my mom gets a text "hey can i talk to you for a minute" my mom shrugs it off and agrees to talk. "Ok well I've been thinking of breaking up with Lex. I just don't know how to do it." My mom's jaw drops. He continues with "Just tell me how to do it without pissing her off" My mom (being awesome) had the best reply. "Dont..." at this point my mom is laughing her butt off. He goes on "But I want to can't you just tell her for me?" Yes you read that right. So I walk into the room and ask my mom what's so funny. "Well... Your boyfriend...is texting me about creative ways to break up with you." My eyes got so wide I thought they were going to pop out of my skull... So you heard everything in this extremley long paragraph right. My ex broke up with me over text... via my mother.

Suzyjoe

February 23, 2012 @ (california)

Tags: bestfriend, heartbreak

Ok so he's my bestfriend and all that crap.. He went out with both of my girl bestfriends and apparently "loved" them..but then he falls "in love" with me and stuff and asks me out and I of course said yes. But then he gets suspended from school and I don't see him for about 3 weeks I don't talk w him or communicate in any way w him and its driving me crazy! And sO he finally gets his Facebook back and I send him a message but he totally ignores me cuz he hasn't answered and I sent him almost a week ago. Then people tell me that he's cheatIng on me but I don't eaisly believe rumours but you never know rite? And so finally I break up w him feeling totally depressed that I did and I don't know if he knows yet cuz I just sent it today.. And I totally regret it but it felt right and then it feels soooo wrong..and now I'm left w nothing..but a broken heart (as cliche as that sounds)