John L.

July 20, 2010 @ (Orlando)

Tags: 8 year dream

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I was with a girl for 7.5 months. When we first met she told me that she was going to try and get back together with her ex.8 years earlier I had begged God to show me the girl I was to marry. I had seen this girl and her dad for 8 years in my dreams and had been looking every day. 2 days before my 23 b-day,I took her out to dinner and it was my first date.We ended up hanging out more and more. FOund out later she was with a guy I knew and was having sex. I am a true Christian and wanted to show her that sex wasn't how you loved someone it was just being with the that mattered most. Her ex had messed up her head. I got drunk for the first time forher and apparently I woke up next morning with no clothes on. I lost my virginity.To me it was the most sacred thing I wanted to give my wife to say this is all that I am and I am giving it to you. We ended up doing it a lot and I thought she would stay with me. She was talking with her ex the whole time and I hated that but was trying to show I cared. He came back 4 two weeks and she had sex with him. I had just given her a 200 dollar pair of earrings saying the night before don't forget about me. She came back and we were together for a few months then she started working at a place full of guys then the there was no contact with her. I was like what the crap. She didnt tell me anything. I had nightmares of me being in the room while she was having sex with a guy I had never seen. Later found out she was seeing a guy from work. And that she had finally broken up with her ex.
I said is there any way that we could start over since she now had a clear head. No. She never once loved me or had feelings for me. They were all transferred from her ex to me. Sorry.
In the end I gave my virginity so she wouldn't go to another guy who would use her for sex,gave her my heart, mind, body and soul. I waited 8 years for this girl and she took everything and said it meant nothing. Now I am afraid to even ask a girl out because I believed in her. One time after sex she was like what is your favorite part. aka on her body. I pointed to her heart. I never wanted sex. I kept telling her it was just holding her hand, being in her arms, and looking into her eyes that made me forget everything. Now I fear she is destroying her future. All I can do is pray

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So Sorry!

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Maury

August 31, 2012

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lookm, see what they did... this can jist be a misudnerastanign altho it seems she is cappable of much muchh morese, and I dont trust 'er. bbut can you leave er alone? i think she plans to come back to yoo :/

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jesse

August 28, 2012

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as a wise person once said ...um ... ye what did he say again?... dang it! and it was a good line too!! well i guess ill just have to go with this one ..ahem..“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.” ha! so poetic. i luv it :D

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jesse

August 28, 2012

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look you had a bad first go of it... it happens and im sure youre not the first.. and i can see why your best friend would have that feeling about you... i mean i dont want this to change your opinion on women somewhat negatively ..cuz well we're not all that bad lol... im not saying you shouldnt trust people either.. just you know... use some time to get to know them better before making a drastic move.. also im not so keen on the whole calling out business.cuz that can get a bit messy at times... trust me it does. but im so glad your moving on!

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John L

August 28, 2012

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She knew what she did was hurting me and she knew it hurt me more than anything else. I told her I disapproved of what she was doing also. I have been on 3 dates another possibly this weekend. I am moving on and trying to start over and don;t worry bec of all this the old me died. I don't take any crap anymore. Just have to be careful bec my best friends gf said I had a negative attitude toward women. I just dont trust anyone like I used to and I don't let ppl use me and if they try I call them out.

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jesse

August 28, 2012

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no. i wouldnt...not after that person hurt me as much as she hurt you ... i wouldnt associate myself with that kind of being at all in fact.she broke up with you. she left you. and to go on still worrying about her is useless and uneeded. youve done your part .. and well in fact more.. its time you start living your own life. now its her turn to say something and well weather or not she does...until then you have nothing to say...and i think that if you want her to be happy..you should abide by her wishes and seperate yourself from her(both emotionally and physically)... it might be beneficial to the both of you in this matter... you need to start over... and well she needs to learn to pull her own weight around if she ever expects to be in any long term relationship. 8 months isnt very long at all...also im not so sure that any decent person would never have taken advantage... i dont feel as though she took advantage of you at all really... you never disproved so how was she to know how you felt.. i dont mean to bash you for everything you did wrong.. no matter how tempting lol but you keep coming up with excuses that just dont fly with me...you have to be open in relationships ...and by that i dont mean having a DMC every night...well that you should do but not too much -otherwise you start freakin people out... you have to find a way to etched yourself in evrything you do whether its taking out the garbage or making dinner... it doesnt matter you just have to show some personality which im sure you can do :).. by doing this youll come across loud and clear telling the world just who you are and what your looking for in a relationship..which is commitment and a bunch of other things- im guessing lol. well thats all i really have to say.. .un less of course ive got you all wrong- and i so hope not cuz then ill have to type another long fat yet inspiring paragraph for you lol.

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John L

August 28, 2012

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ok I see your point with the babying thing. Therefore I made it so she had no boundaries but any decent person would never have taken advantage of them. Also I wasn't watching her. I went to her place once to confront her about calling me a stalker. Two I didn't get involved with her other relationships I only saw her after in publix and saw the guy she was with. The rest was only in dreams which freaked her out. Again when I contacted her it was because I was worried. If you talk to someone for almost 8 months every day and they just stop and you don't see them wouldn't you?

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jesse

August 28, 2012

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eh that was allot sorry

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jesse

August 28, 2012

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as for the dreams and prayers- i highly doubt that they were the same as hers and i dont think that praying is really the solution to getting a girl - you have to put yourself out there and socialize..no ones gunna come up to u and just fall head over heals for you and still commit ... and if so.. which in this case comes your ex... you cant expect such a relationship to last let alone make sense.... she barely knows you ...knows what you like and more importantly what you dont... in my opinion you have set yourself up for failure in to believing that she would stay with you if you just babied her...what im trying to say is that you basically gave her everything she wanted.. food, a place to stay, unconditional love, and above all else a higher self esteem... you kept telling her that she wasnt bad ... that she wasnt a slut, or whore(if you prefer)which probably sent off the message that what she was doing wasnt wrong... giving her the freedom to do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted.. she had no boundaries and felt no commitment... im not saying your actions were so off but just... it was just too much... you should leave her alone and try getting out more ... doing more... go have yourself an adventure..make yourself look like a fool or a goof ball.. find a hobby(other than praying..).. let loose.. and when i say "let loose" i dont mean drinking or sex necessarily although that may be fun too lol... but you know live life.. when i was having a hard time..one of my best friends once told me something which i will now pass on to you ... go out and have fun, go swimming.. anything..cuz well in truth if you dont look for it,it will eventually come to you whether you like it or not. lol no matter how stupid and over rated that sounds .. its true.promise :) wishing you the best of luck, jesse.

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jesse

August 28, 2012

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um WOW .. just finished reading... and i know you asked for no comments but well i cant help it... if i were her i think i would also feel as though you were stalking me... i mean after she left you -- you still kept texting her, watching her, going to her house,involving yourself in her other relationships and even now you are still thinking of her.... its kinda creepy..you have to stop this and move on...

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jesse

August 28, 2012

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back!

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